The Girl With No Name

Chapter Seventy

THREE DAYS LATER

Luke sat propped up in his hospital bed, a tray table full of food in front of him. Both his hands were heavily bandaged. He stared longingly at the tray. With his right hand, he nudged his fork. Josie watched from the door for a few seconds before she walked over and picked it up, stabbing at the turkey breast and bringing it to his lips. She fed him in silence for several minutes. Finally, he shook his head to indicate he’d had enough. “Thank you,” he said.

She nodded and sat in the chair beside his bed. It was going to be a long recovery for him. For them both. He would need a lot of care. Possibly a visiting nurse. As if reading her mind, Luke said, “Carrieann said I can come stay with her for a while. She has enough people to work the farm that she can look after me pretty much twenty-four seven. I’m thinking of taking her up on it.”

Josie was surprised at the disappointment that flooded through her. Especially since the truth was that deep down, she hadn’t expected their relationship to survive. Not something like this. Too many lies had been told. And she knew that when she found out the truth of what happened between him and Kim Conway, it would deal the death blow to whatever remained between them. Tears welled in her eyes. She looked down at her lap. “Are you sure you want to leave?” she said.

“Josie, there’s something you should know.”

She looked up. “You slept with Kim.”

He turned his head away. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I am truly, deeply sorry. I never meant for things to get this… out of control.”

“You should have come to me,” Josie said. “After all we went through together? You didn’t think you could come to me?”

His brow furrowed. “I’ve never been put in a situation like that before. I know I made some bad choices, and then it was one bad choice on top of another, until I was in so deep I knew I couldn’t get out of it without ruining my life—and maybe even yours.”

“I was going to be your wife,” she said. “You should have trusted me. Instead, you shut me out.”

“I’m sorry. I truly am.”

“Why?” Josie asked. “Why didn’t you come to me? You were so cold, so distant. It was like I couldn’t reach you.”

“I’m not the only one who’s closed-off, Josie.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He gave her a wan smile. His tone wasn’t accusatory. Just sad. “You think I don’t know about all those dark memories you’ve buried? About all the things you keep bottled up in that crazy head of yours? You don’t let me in either.”

Josie stood, feeling her stomach drop to her ankles. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He shook his head, laughing softly. “There you go, getting defensive. Josie, I’m trying to talk to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t open with you, but you’re not completely honest with me either. You don’t tell me things. You come off just fine, and you handle all your shit, but whatever happened to you when you were a kid—it did some damage. But you never trusted me enough to let me in, to let me help you.”

A single tear slid down her cheek and she swiped at it furiously, hating herself. She pointed a finger at her chest. “Because I don’t need help. There is nothing wrong with me.”

“Why don’t any of your closets have doors, Josie? Huh? What is the scar on the side of your face really from?”

“None of your goddamn business.”

He nodded, as if in agreement with something. “Right. It’s none of my business. We’re supposed to get married, and you won’t tell me anything about you.”

“Stop making this about me,” Josie snapped. “I’m not the one who lied, who covered up a triple homicide, who hid a murderer and a liar in my home for months. I’m not the one who cheated. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“You’ve never lied to me?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“How many times have you been to Ray’s grave? Ballpark? How many times just in the last month?”

“Don’t you talk about Ray.”

“Oh right, I can’t talk about Ray. I can’t bring Ray up. Ray knew all your secrets. Ray is dead, and you still love him more than me.”

Josie felt something inside her soften. Another tear slid down her cheek. Her voice cracked when she spoke. “That’s not true.”

Luke held up his bandaged hands as if in surrender. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think we would have worked—not in the long run. I’m sorry.” As he spoke, Josie could see small beads of sweat forming along his hairline. His face turned ashen. “Do you—do you need pain meds?” she asked. He nodded, his breath coming harder. Josie fled to the hallway to find his nurse. When they returned, he was vomiting on his tray.

“Oh dear,” the nurse said. She pumped some meds into his IV while Josie got him cleaned up. “I gave him something for the nausea, too,” the nurse said before leaving them alone again. Josie sat back in the chair, watching him doze and trying not to cry. Once he was snoring, Josie left to get some air and a cup of coffee. She returned an hour later, and he was awake, staring sightlessly at the television on the wall. He gave her a weak smile when she came in.

“Sorry,” he said. “The pain… it’s…”

“I understand,” Josie said. She didn’t sit down.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said again. “For the way things turned out. I love you, you know. I really do.”

“I believe you,” Josie answered. She leaned in and planted one long, final kiss on his mouth. She was almost through the door when she stopped and turned back. “Luke, did you send Kim to Misty Derossi’s house?”

“No,” he said. “I didn’t know where the hell she went until she came back and told me that she had been there and that one of Eric’s guys took the baby.”

“Thought so.”

“Kim said she told Misty that I sent her there and that if Misty helped her, I would be more inclined to do what she wanted, which was to talk to you about the baby being Ray’s. You have to understand, Kim is very manipulative and can be very convincing when she puts her mind to it. I wouldn’t put it past her to have talked Misty into a home birth.”

“Oh, I’m aware of how manipulative she is,” Josie said. “What did Misty want to talk to you about? When you met with her at Foxy Tails and she came to your house?”

“Mostly about Ray’s baby, but I’ll let her tell you. That’s what I should have done in the first place.”