The Undiscovered Chekhov

THIS

AND

THAT:

FOUR

VIGNETTES

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL FROSTY DAY. Sunbeams play on every drop of snow. There is no wind, no cloud. A couple is sitting on a bench on the boulevard.

“I love you,” he whispers.

Litde pink cupids flush over her cheeks.

“I love you,” he continues. “When I first set eyes upon you, I understood why I am alive—I saw the aim of my life! It is either life with you—or absolute nonexistence! Marya Ivanovna! My dearest! Yes or no? Marya! Marya Ivanovna... I love... my darling Marya... Please answer me, or I shall die! Yes or no?”

She raises her eyes and looks at him. She wants to say yes; she opens her mouth.

“Yuck!” she screams. On his snow-white collar, racing past each other, are two gigantic bugs... how disgusting!!

“Dearest Mama,” an artist wrote to his mother, “I’ll be coming to visit you! Thursday morning I’ll have the pleasure of pressing you to my heart that is so full of love for you! To heighten the pleasure of our seeing each other again, I shall bring... Go on, guess! No, Mama, you’ll never guess! I’ll bring with me that marvel of beauty, that pearl of human art! I shall bring (I can see you smile) the Belvedere Apollo!”

“My darling Nicolai,” his mother wrote back. “I am so happy that you are going to visit me. May the Lord bless you! But come on your own; don’t bring Mr. Belvedere! There’s hardly enough to eat for the two of us.”

The air is full of soothing fragrances: lilacs, roses. A nightingale sings, the sun is shining... and so on.

Under a spreading acacia tree on a bench in the town park sits a high school senior in his new uniform. He wears a pince- nez on his nose, and a little mustache. Beside him sits a pretty young thing.

The student is holding her hand. He trembles, turns pale, blushes, and whispers words of love.

“Oh, I love you! If you only knew how much I love you!”

“And I love you!” she whispers back.

The student puts his arm around her waist.

“Oh life! How blessed you are! I am drowning, I’m transported with happiness! Plato was right when he said... Oh, just one kiss! Olya! Just one kiss!”

Languidly she lowers her eyes. How she thirsts for this kiss! His lips stretch toward her pink lips. The nightingale sings even louder.

“Get back to your class!” a resonant tenor voice booms above the students head.

The student lifts his head, and his cap falls off. The school inspector is standing in front of them.

“Get back to your class!”

“But it’s our lunch break, sir!”

“You have a Latin class! You will have to stay two hours after school today!”

The student stands up, puts on his cap, and leaves. As he leaves, he feels her eyes resting on his back. Behind them, the inspectors footsteps.

They are playing Hamlet:

“The fair Ophelia!” Hamlet shouts. “Nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remembered!”

“The right side of your beard has come off!” Ophelia whispers.

“Be all my sins remembered!... huh?”

“The right side of your beard has come off!”

“Damn!! To a nunnery, go!”