The Undiscovered Chekhov

MAYONNAISE

ASTRONOMERS REJOICED when they discovered spots on the face of the sun. A case of unparalleled malice!

An official took a bribe. At the very moment of the fall, his boss entered and looked suspiciously at his clenched fist, in which the illicit bank note lay. The official was deeply embarrassed.

“Excuse me!” he called after the petitioner, holding out his palm. “You forgot something in my hand!”

When is a goat a pig?

“Somebody’s goat had started coming over to our goats,” a landowner told us. “We caught the goat and gave it a good hiding. But it still kept coming over. So we gave it a real thrashing and tied a stick to its tail. But that didn’t help either. It still managed to get at our goats. Fine! We caught it, spread tobacco on its nose, and smeared it with turpentine. After that it didn’t show up for three days, but then there it was again! Now isn’t that goat a pig?”

Exemplary resourcefulness:

When the Saint Petersburg reporter N.Z. visited the tex-tile exhibition last year, he noticed one pavilion in particular and began writing something down.

“I think you just dropped a twenty-five ruble note,” the exhibitor in the pavilion said, handing him the note.

“I dropped two twenty-fivers!” the reporter shot back. The exhibitor was so amazed at this resourcefulness that he gave him a second twenty-fiver.

This really happened.