The Undiscovered Chekhov

THE

POTATO

AND THE

TENOR

HOW DANGEROUS FOODS can sometimes be is seen in the following excerpt from the medical journal the Physician’s Whistle:

The other day I was convinced yet again of the danger of starchy foods (writes Dr. B.). The tenor Mr.—Sh mov visited me at the polyclinic, complaining of tightness and cramping of the throat. When I inspected his throat with a mirror, I noted that a potato the size of an egg was lodged against his vocal cords. The potato was already bloated and had begun to sprout. I asked the poor tenor how this had happened, and he explained that the potato had become embedded in his throat five years before, and had already borne fruit five times.

“In five years I have coughed up five sacks of potatoes!” he said with a bitter smile.

When I suggested that the patient undergo surgery, he refused point-blank, insisting that the potato in no way impeded his singing. I asked him to sing something. He was kind enough to oblige, and sang an aria from Cagliostro. Indeed, he could still sing.

“But isn’t it a problem that your voice resembles the howl of a young jackal?” I asked him.

“No, not at all,” the tenor answered.

The Physicians Whistle, NO. 22