These Dreams of You

~ ~ ~

Zan rises from his seat. “Abdul,” he continues, “probably goes back to jail afterward and all the jihadists have a good laugh about it. Parker, are you watching her?” he barks at his son, gazing about a bit madly for his daughter only to realize she’s at his feet, staring up at him. Neither child says anything, watching their father intently; Zan is aware he’s slipping into a rant. “Gets back to his cell and it’s, you know, ‘Feature this, guys, they tortured me with the naked woman today!’ A routine, like Br’er Rabbit and the briar patch. ‘Oh no, whatever you do, not the naked woman! I might tell you anything if you make me watch the naked woman!’” He looks at the kids and it’s clear that, while slightly scandalized, they find this the most interesting thing their father has said in years.

Brown peers up at him from where he sits. “Of course,” he ventures calmly, “given the attitudes some of these men are raised with about such things, it is torture, isn’t it.”

“Sincerely,” Zan says, “maybe that says more about some fucked-up attitudes about women and sex than it does about what can objectively be called torture.” He’s abashed at his lapse. “Sorry,” he snaps at the kids, “you know you’re not supposed to say that word.”

“Sex?” says Parker.

“The other one.”

“Fucked-up,” volunteers Sheba.

“We’ve heard you say that before,” Parker observes.

“You say it all the fucked-up time,” Sheba agrees.

“Thank you, children,” says Zan, “for that authoritative consensus. Sheba, don’t say it again.” He sighs. “The waterboarding was horrific,” he quietly gathers their things, “a disgrace to everything we’re supposed to stand for. Let’s leave it at that. Listen,” he says, uncertain if he’s disappointed in himself or has discovered something new, “I’ve got to get them back. . ”

“We’ll carry on next week,” says the other man, “catch the train out to the college together, if that’s agreeable.”

“How far is it?”

“Twenty minutes from Waterloo. Longer if we miss the express.”

“James,” Zan says, “if Viv isn’t back by then, I may need to line up a nanny of some sort. Sorry, I know this isn’t what you signed up for. It’s not what I had in mind either.”

Images of Sheba’s havoc receding in his eyes, Brown emanates unmistakable relief. “I’ll look into it,” he says.