These Dreams of You

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In any case Zan has come to understand well enough his dynamic with Viv that he knows to fully express what he feels about her returning to Ethiopia would be counter-productive. Rather he takes a deep breath and attempts to modulate his agitation. “Baby,” he says, “it’s not a good idea.”

For a moment she sinks back into the afternoon’s abyss.

“If nothing has happened, if this woman doesn’t even exist let alone is in jail, then it’s a waste of time. If something has happened and the police are arresting people, it’s all the more reason you shouldn’t go.”

“We could all travel with you to London,” she urges, and now it’s clear this indeed has been going around in her head awhile, “for your lecture, or residency, or whatever it is. . the kids can stay with you and I can go onto Addis and you’ll wait for me in London.” She says, “I know it’s a lot to ask but we talked about it anyway.”

“Talked about what?”

“Going to London with you.”

More harshly than he intends, he says, “We never talked about that,” then, “sometimes you think about telling me something and once you’ve thought it, then you think you’ve done it.”

“Sometimes,” she answers, “maybe you just don’t remember me telling you,” and bursts into tears.