These Dreams of You

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Zan often points out to Viv that sometimes she thinks about telling him something and, once she thinks it, believes she’s done it. Not long before they left Los Angeles for London, she answered tearfully that maybe sometimes he just doesn’t remember her telling him.

Now lying in the street he has this thought that not only is she right and his memory fails ominously, but that in fact the reverse of what he told her is true — that what he thinks he tells her in fact he’s never said, that in fact what he thinks he’s told everyone he’s never said at all to anyone. That for months he’s imagined himself saying things that he never did: All those times, all those people from Viv to J. Willkie Brown who observed how recently he’s turned into a chatterbox, were only voices in his head made manifest in hallucinations. Really? Me? On the radio?