These Dreams of You

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In his lifetime, Zan doesn’t remember a president’s very identity being such a point of political contention. He doesn’t remember large segments of the public twenty-five years ago debating whether the president at that time secretly had been born in Ireland. The new president’s race is part of his political identity; the two can’t be extricated; and if, as some indicate, his racial identity is a creation, if he taught himself — even for purely political purposes — how to be black, how to talk or walk black, only to later teach himself how to be a little whiter, does that make his identity more a creation than anyone else’s? Doesn’t everyone choose aspects of his or her identity, or is race the rubicon of authenticity?

Zan began pondering race when he was younger only because he began pondering his country, and knew that it wasn’t possible to understand his country without pondering slavery and it wasn’t possible to understand slavery without pondering race. He considered how his countrymen from Africa were the only ones who didn’t choose to be there; Africans were compelled to come and only once they were made to come did they choose to stay. Did that make them, then, the true owners of the country’s great idea, by virtue of having accepted the country in the face of so many reasons not to? If the country is more an idea than a place then are those who were so compelled its true occupants, given how the country’s promise to them was broken before it was offered?