Crystal's Heart

Chapter Twelfth

Laura was bone tired when she finally pulled into her parking space but pleased to see the familiar Omni parked next to her. That meant Crystal was home and hopefully had driven Aunt Helen to retire early for the evening. Remembering the bag of cleaners in the back seat, Laura retrieved them and headed inside.

Setting the bag on the side table, she was surprised not to find either woman downstairs. What did not surprise Laura, however, was the mess in the living room. The kitchen was better, clean dishes drying on the rack but clearly done by her right handed roommate, the strainer on the opposite side of the sink than usual. Laura took a few minutes to rearrange the kitchen back to the way she wanted before heading upstairs.

"Hello?" Laura called when she was halfway up the stairs, hearing voices.

"We're in here," Crystal called, letting the writer know which room they were in.

Laura couldn't resist raising an eyebrow at this new development. Her Aunt Helen and Crystal were in the same room and from the sounds of it, getting along quite nicely. The pungent smell wafting under the door gave Laura her answer as to why they were in Crystal's room. Opening the door, the first thing the fastidious woman noticed was the pile of laundry strewn about, jeans flung carelessly over the back of the orange chair and Crystal's work boots laying where they were apparently kicked off earlier. Crystal was propped comfortably on her bed while Helen was sitting in the orange chair, using the bed as a footrest.

"Hi there," Crystal said. "How's your mom doing?"

"Hi pumpkin," Helen waved. "Come have a seat and tell us all about it."

"Don't worry about stepping on anything," Crystal said. "Just kick it out of your way."

"Or rent a bulldozer," Laura replied dryly. She carefully stepped over dirty clothes until she reached the bed, sitting cross legged on the lower corner near the door leading to the balcony. It allowed her to look at her aunt directly with only minimal eye movement to see Crystal. "So I see you two found something in common," her tone making it clear what she thought of that.

"You take after your mother too much." Helen frowned and took the little blue pipe from Crystal. "So tell us, how is she?" "She looks a hundred times better than when she went in," Laura said. "If everything goes well tonight they might even let her out tomorrow morning."

"What time are you going to see her tomorrow?" Helen asked.

"I'll most likely head up there around nine or ten."

"I'll go with you." Helen said, holding her hand out for the lighter which Crystal finally handed over.

Laura watched her fifty year old aunt take a small hit off the pipe, thinking eerily that she had fallen into something from the Twilight Zone. Laura was still uncomfortable watching Crystal light up but to see her own aunt doing it was something else altogether. "Um, Aunt Helen?"

"Yes pumpkin?" Helen looked at her but all Laura saw were slits for eyes. Clearly her aunt and roommate had been in this room for some time. "Could you not smoke that in front of me? It just seems so odd to me to see you doing that."

"I got an idea," Crystal said, taking the pipe and setting it in her ashtray. "I could go for a cigarette. Why don't we go out on the deck and that way we don't asphyxiate poor Laura here."

"Splendid idea, deary." Helen got her feet, wobbled a little, then straightened out and headed for the screen door.

"So what have you two been talking about?" Laura asked Crystal, hanging back so they weren't overheard.

"All sorts of stuff," the younger woman replied. "Sisters and families and freedom and of course you."

"Me?"

"Well," Crystal's eye took on a wicked glint. "You are the main thing we have in common. By the way, not too bright trying to jump those barrels with your bicycle."

"She told you about that?" Laura was shocked, remembering that as one of her most embarrassing moments, especially when the base commander called her father down to explain why she was playing in an unauthorized area.

"She told me a lot of things," Crystal said smugly. Helen had a bit of a wicked streak herself and had conveyed with painstaking detail about some of Laura's most embarrassing tales of childhood. "Or there's the time you went to visit her and got lost on the subways." "She said to stay on the red line and I'd be fine," Laura grumbled as they stepped out onto the deck. "So you spent your free time telling stories about me, did you?"

"You're just lucky I didn't remember to bring the scrapbooks," Helen said. "You remember summer at my campsite? When your cousins were up?" Laura was truly appreciative of the darkness which kept her blush from being seen. "I remember. Can we change the topic now?"

"But it's much more fun to tease you," Crystal said, leaning back in her chair and putting her feet up on the railing. "So Helen, you were telling me about the first time Laura got drunk."

"Oh no," the subject in question groaned. "And you wonder why I don't drink very often? Let your aunt get you drunk for the first time." "Hugged that porcelain goddess a few times, did you?" Crystal teased.

"It was her best friend that night," Helen said cheerfully. "The next morning too."

"But I'm sure you're more familiar with that particular goddess than I am," Laura teased back.

"Oh, you got me, pardner." The single bulb lighting the back deck gave little illumination but it was enough for Laura to see Crystal pantomime being shot in the chest. "But I never tried to crawl down the stairs."

"You don't forget anything, do you Aunt Helen?"

"Not much, pumpkin," Helen replied, clearly enjoying the banter. Both her and Crystal had cigarettes going and the older woman took a long drag on hers before continuing to embarrass her niece. "You should have seen her, Crystal. She was talking to the banister."

The friendly chat continued for the better part of an hour but Laura was spared any more embarrassment after her experience with the banister was told. Finally one too many yawns indicated the need to wind down for the night and Helen made her exit through the screen door to Laura's bedroom where she was staying. Laura followed Crystal in through her entrance, stepping on a pair of shorts laying on the floor near the sliding door. "How do you manage to get around in this mess?" Laura asked.

"I know where everything is. It's an organized mess," Crystal said, flopping down on her bed and quickly pushing herself up against the headboard. "So are you really beat or do you feel up to visiting for a while?"

Usually evenings while Helen had been spent downstairs, not allowing the opportunity for the two friends to just sit and talk to each other and Laura found she was missing those chats very much. "Sure but keep your smoking limited to cigarettes, okay?"

"Deal," Crystal cheerfully agreed, reaching out to pat the arm of the overstuffed orange chair. "Have a seat, take a load off." "You certainly seem to be in a good mood tonight," the writer noted as she took her seat. "I still can't believe you and my Aunt Helen were getting along, much less smoking pot with each other."

"I was kinda shocked when she asked me if I had any," Crystal said, fluffing a pillow before sticking behind her back for support. "But once I stopped being annoyed with her, she turned out to be a okay person. A bit out there, but okay."

"She hasn't given you her dissertation about aliens and secret labs hidden in the desert yet."

"Ah, something to look forward to. She already told me about your cousin, the one that does the drag shows in New York."

"You realize of course that not everyone she calls a cousin really is," Laura explained. "I think most of them are her friends children and she truly loves playing the rich maiden aunt."

"Hmpf. I wouldn't have minded having a rich aunt when I was growing up."

"Well, it was nice for what it was but I never wanted her money. Visiting Aunt Helen was like taking a trip to an amusement park. I never what I was going to do but it was always fun for just so long." Without thought Laura kicked her sneakers off and put her feet up on Crystal's bed. "Trust me, there's only so much of a good thing one person can have, hence the crawling trip down the stairs." She reached out and gently slapped Crystal's outstretched leg. "Hey, I got a royalty check today. How about tomorrow night after everything settles down with Mom and you get home from work we go out for dinner?"

"What about Helen?"

"I'll dump her off on Bobby for the evening. She hasn't had a chance to spoil him yet." The writer's creative mind worked for only a minute before she came upon the perfect scenario for her little plot. "I'll plant a bug in her ear about how he would love an evening with her before he leaves for school."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that," Crystal said.

"You know she bought me my first car when I went to school? It wasn't new but it was rust free and the mileage was low. A nice little hatchback to scoot around campus with."

"You're looking at my first car," Crystal said, nodding with her chin toward the parking lot. "I used my tax return and made payments for three months to get that rust bucket. Had it almost a year now."

"And you probably appreciate yours far more than I ever appreciated my Ford. No snow tires in the middle of a storm plus inexperience led to totaling it less than four months after Aunt Helen bought it for me."

"Ooh, that sucks."

Laura smirked at her friend's terminology but nodded in agreement. "That's one way to look at it, I suppose. The insurance gave me money I needed in time for books so I didn't have to ask Mom and Dad for it so close to Christmas. I put what was left over away and did private tutoring to get another car."

"Bet you were more careful with that one," Crystal guessed.

"I was," Laura admitted. "I made that one last until my graduate year." Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember how they got off on this tangent. Of course when it came to carrying on a conversation with Crystal, subject changes were often and frequent. "Oh yes, dinner." "Yeah, where are you thinking of going anyway? There's a great diner about a mile from the hospital. You know the one, they have the liberty bell shaped windows."

Laura made a face. "How about a place where half your meal isn't made of grease?"

"Are you kidding? That place is the best. They've got a prime rib there" Crystal seemed to think about that for a second. "Oh yeah, you don't eat red meat. But they've got seafood there too." "No doubt it's all breaded and swims in oil too," Laura replied. "There's an Italian place not too far from the mall."

"What about Chinese?" Crystal countered, ignoring her roommate's comment.

"I always eat too much when I have Chinese. What about that new restaurant on Fifth?"

"Too expensive. Michael only had a few hours of overtime this week." Crystal sighed and reached for her cigarettes. "Just like when first started living together. We can't agree on anything."

Laura refused to keep the smile from her lips. "Oh I think we've come a long way from when you first moved in here. I haven't had to pick up a towel off the bathroom floor in weeks. Speaking of the bathroom"

"I didn't do it," Crystal blurted quickly.

"Guilty conscience?" Laura teased. "I know Aunt Helen used my rose soaps but she said she didn't buy the new ones. So where did those come from?"

"Soap fairy?"

"I think I'm a little old to be believing in the soap fairy, Crystal. I do, however, believe that I have a roommate who was being very thoughtful and nice."

Crystal squirmed under the kind words and gave a totally useless frown. "I got used to the scent."

"An air freshener would have taken care of that," Laura pointed out. "You can't get away with that with me. I thank you very much. I think they're even prettier than the ones I had."

The blonde squirmed some more and lit a cigarette. "How did we get on this subject anyway? We were talking about dinner." "I suggested the new restaurant on Fifth," Laura reminded.

"And I said it was too expensive."

"Most of the dinners are less than twenty dollars, Crystal. Besides, it's my treat because I got more in my royalty check than I thought I would. You think I'd ask you out to dinner and expect you to pay?" Laura shook her head. "I'm not that bad a date."

"Yeah well the last time someone wanted to pick up the tab for my dinner it was because they were expecting a benefit later." Crystal smiled. "Since you don't have a chance with me I figured it was Dutch treat."

"Oh please. It's worth dinner to me just to see you and Aunt Helen getting along so well. What were you two talking about?" Seeing a stray ash sitting on the night stand, Laura reached over and wiped it away. Seeing the multitude of crumpled up empty packs, she tried to collect those as well without being noticed.

Crystal smirked. "You mean besides which is better, paper or pipe?" The smirk faded when she saw what Laura was trying to do. "Hey, leave my junk alone." Laura opened her hands to allow her roommate to take the trash.

"I was just trying to help," the dark haired woman said, opening her hands to allow the empty packs to be taken from her. "Yeah, help clean," Crystal said, taking the trash and stuffing it into the already overstuffed wastebasket. "This is my room. It can be as messy as I want it."

"There's a difference between being cluttered and having the room declared a disaster area."

"But it's my disaster area," the blonde pointed out proudly. "I don't make a mess in your room and you aren't allowed to come in and clean mine. I behave everywhere else in this house."

Laura wiped her hands on her pants before lacing her fingers together, resisting the urge to reach down and pick up the pack that missed the basket. "You're right."

"It's not like I'm damaging the walls or carpet or anything. I'm just"

"Cluttered," the writer offered.

"Cluttered, yeah that sounds good." Crystal smiled. "Of course saying I'm a little cluttered it like saying Maine only gets a little snow in the winter."

Both women laughed at the joke, sharing more similes and poking fun at both Crystal's messiness and Laura's fastidiousness. "So other than which is better, paper or pipe and no, I don't want to know the answer," Laura said. "What else did you two talk about?"

"Sisters." Crystal shrugged. "I told her she should be worried more about how her sister was doing than whether the house had drafts in it or not." "Did you tell her about Patty?"

"A little. I told her we were separated a long time ago and I wouldn't care if she was living in a box, I'd still want to see and spend time with her."

"So that's why she said she wanted to go see Mom tomorrow," Laura said. "I wondered why she had a sudden change of heart." She looked at Crystal thoughtfully. "I guess sometimes we all need to be reminded of what's really important."

"I dunno. I guess so." Crystal shrugged her shoulders and pulled her legs up, resting her wrists on her knees, her back and rest still pressing a pillow against the headboard. A sad, faraway look came over her face.

"How did your session with Jenny go today?" Laura asked after a moment, remembering which day it was. Crystal often tended to be in a more solemn mood after her sessions. Laura wondered if this would be another night her roommate needed to stay up and talk.

"Okay, I guess." Crystal shook her head as if realizing how she must look and stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray. "It's nothing." "You sure? It doesn't look like nothing."

"We talked about my mother a bit." Crystal looked down at her hands. "It wasn't one of my better times in her office, I can tell you that." Laura remained quiet, knowing that being there to listen was what was needed now, not comments. "Doc made me do that stupid role playing thing where you pretend you're yelling at your parents." Laura nodded, understanding what was meant even she had never actually participated in a session. Crystal continued, her eyes taking on a faraway look. "You know what's really weird? As much as I thought I hated her, there's still a part of me that still cares." She picked at an imaginary piece of lint on her blanket. "You know how upset you were when you got the call that your mom was sick? I wished I cared enough about my mom to do the same but you know what?" Crystal gave a small snort and shook her head. "If I got a call like that today

I'd go."

"Sounds like a late night tea chat for us," Laura said, knowing the conversation was too serious to be ending any time soon. "We'll go down on the couch, put the TV on in the background and talk."

"Laura? Do you think it's possible to love and hate someone?"

Taking a deep breath, Laura thought about her answer before speaking. "I think we can hate things that a person has done and still love that person. And I think there are those people for whom loving them will never be an option," she said, thinking of Crystal's father. "The best we can hope for is indifference. I don't like to waste energy hating someone. If they've wronged me to the point where I can't forgive or trust them again, I just write them out of my life and move on." Laura got to her feet and held her hand out. "Come on, I thought we were going downstairs. Talk to me nice and I think I might know where some mini marshmallows are hiding for hot chocolate," she offered, knowing Crystal's preference for hot chocolate over tea.

As the hours ticked by and the two women talked, neither was aware of the door to Laura's bedroom being slightly ajar or of how the acoustics of the townhouse caused their voices to carry upstairs. If either had taken the time to look up they would have seen Helen sitting just inside the door, the sliver of light showing her platinum hair a face covered with night cream.

"Where does she keep the serving tray now?" Laura asked, opening and shutting yet another cupboard. Apparently her mother had rearranged the kitchen since the writer last lived there.

"I think it's in the one above the fridge," Bobby said, leaning against the low bar separating the kitchen and living room. He took a cube of cheese off the nearby platter and popped it in his mouth.

"Leave those alone," Laura admonished. "I didn't realize what a mouse you were."

"What can I say? I like cheese," he said, taking another piece.

"So does everyone else and I'd like to see some left on the plate by the time it gets out there." Opening the cupboard over the refrigerator, Laura found the silver serving tray and carefully arranged the cups and carafe on it. "Can I trust you to take that platter out there without eating any more?"

"No," he said cheerfully, taking another piece before picking up the platter and heading into the other room. Laura shook her head and double checked the balance of the tray. Her mother's fine china, which never ever left the china closet, sat gingerly on the silver tray and the last thing Laura wanted to do was chip or break any of them. Certain that the fine cups were safe, she picked up the tray gingerly and pushed her way through the swinging door. "Here's the tea," she announced.

"Excellent, dear," Laura's mother said. "Set it down over here." Gail Taylor was seated in a red velvet chair while her sister sat in the matching chair, the burning hearth just behind them. Bobby stood several feet away next to the side table, happily whittling away at the supply of cheese cubes and crackers. Laura set the tray down and began filling the delicate white and gold cups.

"So what did the doctor say?" Gail asked Helen, resuming the conversation that had been going on prior to Laura bringing out the tea. "He said Mother should stay inside and avoid anyone who has the flu. I don't know how she's supposed to do that in a nursing home." "But if she has a bad reaction to the flu shot then what else can they do?" Helen asked, taking the tea cup and saucer Laura handed to her.

"We could always bring Mother home," Helen said. Laura, who had been half listening to the conversation, raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

"Where would you put her? Grandma can't stay here. There's no one to take care of her." Laura realized the error of her words when she was regarded with a frosty look from her mother.

"I handled both you and your brother from diapers to dating and then some. With a visiting nurse there's no reason why Mother couldn't come for a least an extended visit if not a permanent situation." Gail looked at her sister. "Honestly Helen. Listen to my children."

Laura, who now felt like a reprimanded child, handed her aunt a cup of tea and sat back, casting a sidelong glance at her brother. Bobby returned a sympathetic look, knowing his sister was in for it now.

"Now you can't blame the younger generation for not understanding what's important," Helen said, taking a sip of her tea and leaving a glaring red lipstick mark on the fine bone china.

"Helen, do you remember the time we took Daddy's Edsel?" Gail asked. Her sister smiled immediately.

"Oh dear. I haven't thought about that car in years. We certainly got quite the switching when he saw that dent."

"And that was the last time we ever did that. Sometimes I wonder if Robert and I were too soft on our own," Gail said, giving her daughter a significant look. "Just don't you be getting any ideas in your head about putting me in any nursing homes, young lady."

Laura looked appropriately chastised. "I wouldn't dream of it, Mother," she said dutifully. "Bobby, stop eating all the cheese." "Now don't you go trying to get your brother into trouble," Gail admonished before turning her attention back to her sister. "So how much longer are you going to stay?"

"I don't have any pressing plans until the fifteenth." Helen took another sip of tea. "There's a show opening at the Met that I absolutely have to make an appearance at. You know how much I support the arts."

"That still leaves us with five days," Gail said. "There's no need to have Laura drive you over here each day. Laura, bring your aunt's things over here tonight. She can stay in your old room."

The writer fought hard not to choke on the tea she had been drinking. "Uh, sure Mom. I have to go home and pick up Crystal in an hour or so. I'll drop her things off before we head for dinner." Laura caught the knowing smirk on her aunt's face but didn't want to pursue the cause of it in front of her mother.

"And I suppose paying outlandish prices for dinner is youri.e.of the proper way to spend your money? It would certainly make more sense if you two just stayed here for dinner. Bobby, did you take out that roast like I told you to?"

"Yes Mom."

"Then it's settled," Gail said happily, smoothing her wrinkled skirt with her hand. "The two of you can just stay here for dinner. You don't spend enough time with your family as it is and who knows when your aunt will come for another visit."

"Uh" Normally a quick thinker, Laura found herself at a loss to come up with an excuse not to stay without offending her mother. "I don't eat red meat."

"Did I say it was a pot roast?" Gail shook her head and looked at her sister. "Honestly, Helen. I don't know about these children. Perhaps Daddy's i.e.of going out to the shed with a switch from the hickory tree was a good idea. Laura, you haven't eaten red meat since you were a teenager. Did you think I forgot that? I may not be one hundred percent but I'm not senile."

Laura, wishing the earth would open up and swallow her whole, could only nod.

"I do believe you still enjoy a nice homemade roasted chicken with baked potatoes and perhaps even some of your Aunt Helen's parfait."

Bobby and Laura shared looks. Helen's parfait was treated in their family the same way fruitcakes were treated in others. It was a necessary evil they suffered with year after year while growing up. Perhaps there was a benefit to the two sisters not talking after all. "I'll mention it to Crystal."

"Well call her and ask her," Gail urged.

"She's at work, Mom. I just can't call her up unless it's important."

"And knowing if I'm cooking for four or five isn't important?"

Bobby handed the cordless phone to Laura, knowing who the winner of the battle was.

"All right, Sheridan. Let's get this room finished and then we'll start the cleanup," Josh Thompson, Crystal's supervisor said. "It's after five already."

"Yup, I'm on it," Crystal called back without looking. She had just started securing the drywall to the studs in this section and there were easily four more squares waiting for more than the nails the drywall hangers used to keep them in place temporarily. Time and practice had made the blonde very proficient with the power driver, sinking the drywall screws into the board without breaking the paper and doing it as fast or faster than the men who did the same job in other sections of the building. Still it had been a long day and Crystal's arm was aching from the constant physical labor. Cleanup, the most unpleasant job of the day, was still to come and judging from the mess of drywall pieces scattered throughout the room, it was a job that would take the better part of an hour to finish. Wiping her sweaty brow on the sleeve of her shirt, Crystal picked up the drywall screw gun and loaded her pouch with screws.

"Hey blondie, phone for you," one of the other workers yelled.

"Okay," she yelled back, setting the driver on the workbench and pulling the plug from the outlet before leaving the office in search of the phone. As the work progressed up the floors, Michael had extensions for the phone line installed on each floor to minimize the time his workers were away from their stations. Entering the first room near the stairs, Crystal saw the phone sitting on one chair while another chair sat empty next to it. A blinking light next to one of the buttons showed someone waiting. Wondering who would call her at work and not on her pager, Crystal picked up the phone and pressed the button. "This is Crystal."

"Crystal, it's Laura. Sorry to bother you at work but my mother wants to make a home cooked meal tonight."

"Oh, that's no problem. We can make it some other night," Crystal said, misunderstanding Laura's words to mean she was being uninvited for dinner. "I'll just volunteer to work late tonight. There's certainly enough work to do around here."

"You mean you don't want to go?"

"Huh? I thought you just said your mother wants you to have dinner at her place tonight?"

"She does. But the invite is for both of us, not just me. Come on, you can't make me go through this alone. You have to come."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were canceling with me to go over there." Crystal sat down in the empty chair. "I have to stop at the house and shower and change. It's hot as hell today and I've been working my ass off."

"That's no problem," Laura said. "I have to come home and pack up Aunt Helen's things anyway so there'll be plenty of time for you to get ready. Helen's going to stay with Mom for the rest of her trip."

"Great. It'll be nice to walk into the bathroom and not smell her perfume all over the place." All around her, Crystal could hear the sounds of power tools. "Hey Laura, I have to get going here. I should be home around six thirty or so."

"All right. I'll meet you at our place and then we can go in my car. Oh, and Crystal?"

"Yeah?"

"I would never cancel a date with you, no matter what else was going on," Laura said firmly. "I'll see you in about an hour and a half."

Crystal said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone, staring at it for a moment. Dinner with her family? Suddenly cleanup didn't seem so bad after all.

Crystal's thought that it would be a casual dinner were quickly dashed when she entered Gail's house and saw the table in the dining room decked out with a tablecloth and centerpiece. "Oh good, you're here," Gail said, coming out from the kitchen.

"Mom, Bobby and I can get the dinner cooking. You should be sitting down and resting," Laura protested, silently nudging Crystal toward the couch. "Nonsense. I may be tired but I'm fully capable of cutting a few potatoes," her mother argued, wiping her hands on her apron. "It's good to see you again, Crystal. Welcome to my home."

"Thank you, Mrs. Taylor," Crystal answered. "Is there anything I can do help?"

"As a matter of fact there is. If you open the cabinet there you'll find all the place settings. Be a dear and set the table. I'll have Bobby bring out the silverware and napkins." Gail removed her apron as she turned to her daughter. "Since you think I'm an invalid now, you can just march yourself out to the kitchen and help your brother with the gravy." She handed the apron to Laura. "Helen," she called. "The children are going to finish up dinner. Let's go sit on the veranda and enjoy the sunset."

"Right behind you," Helen said as she came through the swinging door from the kitchen. "Laura, check under the bar and see if there are any daiquiri mixes, will you dear?"

"I'm sure there's some," Gail agreed. "Laura, you'll find the blender down next to the stove and of course you know where to find thei.e.None for me, the doctor said I shouldn't touch alcohol with my medication. I'll have ani.e.tea and make sure you get something for your guest." Laura, still wondering how she changed from twenty eight to fifteen all of the sudden, nodded and shared a look with Crystal before disappearing into the kitchen.

Terrified of chipping the fine china, Crystal took the plates, cups and saucers out one at a time, setting them gingerly on the table. Bobby came into the dining room with a large wooden box. "Hey Crystal."

"Hi Bobby, how ya doing?"

"I think I've been sold into slavery but I'm not sure yet," he joked. "Mom and Aunt Helen have been on me all afternoon." He set the box on the table. "Don't know why we're going to all this trouble just for dinner. It's just you, Aunt Helen and Laura. Mom hasn't broken out the good plates since the last time Grandma came to visit." He opened the box, which easily was half as wide as it was long, to reveal a red velvet interior displaying a full set of silver eating utensils. "Good," he said. "At least I don't have to polish them."

There were a multitude of forks, spoons and knives in the set, along with several larger serving utensils. Bobby quickly distributed the silverware around the table, each place setting receiving two forks, three spoons and one butter knife. The box was stored away on the floor beneath the china cabinet and steak knives were taken from the drawer of the buffet. "Hey, you forgot the soup bowls."

"Oh." Crystal reached into the cabinet, her fingers barely touching the small bowls on the upper shelf.

"Not those. They're for desserts." He reached around her and pointed at the cluster of bowls tucked neatly away in the back. "Trust me, you'll love Mom's chicken and rice soup. I've got to see if Laura needs anything." As he walked past the table, Bobby stopped and frowned at the place settings. Crystal knew immediately she had done something incorrectly but to her relief all Laura's brother did was reverse the position of two spoons without comment and left the room.

Guess it's a good thing I don't throw dinner parties, eh? As she made her way around the table and correcting the order of the spoons, Crystal smiled at Bobby's thoughtfulness and tact. Just like his sister, she thought. Finishing up the setting of the table, Crystal decided to see how things were going in the kitchen.

"I know how to do this," Laura was saying as Crystal pushed her way through the swinging door and entered the kitchen. "But you're not doing it right. Mom uses a baster, not a brush," Bobby objected, holding the baster in his hand.

"I prefer the brush," Laura said calmly, dipping the brush in the juices and moving it over the top of the browning chicken. "But it's Mom's chicken."

"Bobby, do you really think Mom's going to be able to tell if I used a brush or a baster?" She noticed Crystal standing there. "Hi there. Is the table all set?"

"Yeah." Crystal looked at Bobby and smiled her silent thanks.

"Good," Laura said. "Probably about fifteen minutes more for the chicken and by then everything else will be ready."

"Good, just enough time for a cigarette."

"Hey, let me go get mine. I'll be right back. Don't go without me," Bobby said, moving past them and running upstairs to return a few minutes later with a blue pack in his hands. "All set."

"Okay," Crystal said.

"Wait, let's go out front. Aunt Helen doesn't know I smoke and Mom has a fit when I do it in front of her," he said, holding the swinging door open.

Crystal nodded and followed him out the front door.

The concrete and slate steps framed in red brick were cool, the sun having moved over to the other side of the house hours before. Still the pair sat down, Crystal passing her lighter to Bobby after getting her own cigarette going. "Thanks for earlier," she said, taking the lighter back.

"No prob," he said, exhaling a long plume of smoke. "I only know it because Mom drilled it into me and Laura years ago." "My mother preferred TV dinners," Crystal said, looking past the large elm to the quiet street. "Nice neighborhood."

Bobby snorted. "It's full of snobs. I'd rather kick it with the guys down on Second Street."

Knowing what part of the city Second Street was in, Crystal looked at Bobby. "Does your mother know you hang there?" She was answered with a hearty laugh.

"Are you kidding? She'd have a stroke thinking I was doing drugs or something," he said. "I tell her I'm going to the mall and she's happy with that." "Are you?" Crystal asked. When he didn't answer right away, she nodded and looked back at the street. "Uh huh. Be careful." "I didn't say

."

"You didn't have to," she interrupted. "I wasn't raised in suburbia, Bobby. I know the score. You're not hanging out on Second Street unless you're using or dealing." Debating how far she should go, Crystal softened her tone and looked at him seriously. "You know the condemned building near the Ladyslipper?"

"Yeah?"

Crystal took a deep breath. "About five years ago I was hanging out around there. In fact, I used to crash on the second floor of that building." "That place has been boarded up for as long as I can remember," he said.

"Yup," she agreed. "But a few nails aren't going to keep people out of an abandoned building when they want to get in." She shrugged. "It was close to the dive I worked at and my dealer." Crystal wondered briefly how much of her past Laura had shared with Bobby but decided that the risk was worth it. "I wasn't the only one hanging there. There was probably about twenty or twenty five of us that regularly stayed there."

"Wow," he gasped in surprise, clearly having trouble reconciling the woman before him with the person he was being told about. "Weren't you scared?"

Crystal thought about it for a few seconds. "I don't think so. By that point I don't think I cared about anything. All I wanted to do was sit back and get high then go work to earn some more money to buy more coke."

"Did you ever shoot up?" he asked. Crystal thought it an odd question but shook her head.

"No. I knew about AIDS and I didn't trust anyone. Have you?"

Bobby shook his head. "No but I've been told it gets you high fast."

"Jumping out an airplane without a parachute will get you to the ground faster but it's still not a good idea." Crystal looked deeply into his blue eyes. "It's like playing Russian Roulette with your life, Bobby. All the hard stuff. It'll happily kill you if it gets a chance. I've seen it." "You've seen someone die?"

"Two," she admitted. "One was this crack head named Melissa who OD'd. I think she got a bad batch because it hit her really quick. She was gone before the ambulance ever got there. The other was a guy I didn't know. I was woken up by the sound of a gunshot but I wasn't stupid enough to go check it out. They found the guy's body in the alley the next morning."

"Oh God, that's horrible," he said.

"That's what the hard stuff will do to you. That guy probably died because of a deal gone bad. It happens all the time out there. Bobby, you have everything going for you. You're young, good looking, smart, have a scholarship to a good school. You can be anything you want. Don't waste it by getting mixed up in coke." By the way he flinched Crystal knew she was right about the drug he was experimenting with.

Bobby tore the burning end off of his cigarette and put the filter in his pocket. "I've only done it a few times. Usually I just share a joint with a few friends."

"Are they the same friends who shared their coke with you?"

"Yeah, Tyrone brought it with him one day."

Crystal nodded knowingly. "Bet he didn't even charge you since it was your first time, right? Just a gift from a friend?"

"Yeah, his treat."

"For now. When he has you hooked there won't be any freebies." Crystal knew she was pushing but it was too important for her not to. "Look

Bobby, I'm not a prude." She gave a short laugh. "In fact I've done many things I'm ashamed of, things I'd rather not have people know about me but I do know what I'm talking about. It's one thing to have a joint or two once in a while to relax but it's another to get messed up with the drugs you're looking at." She lowered her head. "If I could go back to when I was your age, I'd change so many things about what I did with my life, starting with giving two of those years up to living like a junkie on thee.g.of death." Crystal mimicked Bobby's actions with her cigarette, getting the hint that Mrs. Taylor would not appreciate butts on her front walk. "Just remember that the only person who's looking out for you is you."

Bobby swallowed and looked down at his hands. "You won't tell Mom or Laura what we talked about, will you?"

"Of course not. It's your life and your decision to make." Crystal stood up and put her hand on the door handle.

"My friend Mike played center last year on our team," Bobby began, rising to his feet as well. "He failed a random drug test. Lost his scholarship. He was really counting on it too. Now if he gets enough with grants and loans he might be able to afford city college."

"Aren't you glad you're number didn't come up that day?" she asked.

"Actually yeah," he admitted. "I was sweating it out there when Coach was reading off the names of the guys who had to go piss in the cups." He shuddered at the memory. "I could have ended up with like Mike."

"I don't think anyone would have wanted that, least of all you," Crystal said softly. "Come on, we gotta get in there before they start looking for us." "Yeah," he agreed. "Crystal?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for talking to me," he said, surprising her with a brief hug. "Even if you're not Laura's girlfriend, I'm still glad to know you." "Um" Crystal hesitated, unsure how to respond. Finally for lack of anything better she mumbled her thanks and led the way inside.

The rectangular table sat six without the leaf, Helen and Gail on opposite ends. Laura and Bobby sat on either side of their mother while Crystal took the seat next to her roommate. When the Taylor family reached their hands out to the persons on either side of them, it took Crystal by surprise. Bobby shifted his seat to reach past the empty place and grasp his aunt's hand. Saying grace was not something Crystal had ever seen Laura do at home. She hesitantly took the hands being offered to her, Laura's on her left and Helen's on her right. There was a definite difference between the two, she noted. Laura's touch was warm, their fingers intertwining with the writer's thumb moving slowly back and forth atop her own. Helen's grip was firmer, the skin not nearly as soft as Laura's. Noting everyone had lowered their heads, she followed suit, pleased when Gail spoke alone, ending her fear that they would recite some prayer that she didn't know.

"We thank God for the gifts we are about to receive and for bringing my family together tonight," Gail began. "Thank you for bringing my sister to me and giving me my health back. Bless our family that could not be here with us tonight and watch over them as you watch over us. We are happy to have Crystal here with us and we ask that you watch over her as well." Surprised, Crystal raised her head up and felt a reassuring squeeze in her left hand. Gail finished the grace and everyone separated their hands. While she was happy to be freed from Helen's grip, finding the bony fingers holding hers to be uncomfortable but felt only coolness and loss when Laura released her grip. For someone who hated to be touched and avoided it whenever possible, Crystal found it disconcerting to realize that she didn't mind Laura touching her. Indeed, as she mimicked the actions of those around her, passing platters and bowls around the table, taking portions from each, Crystal found herself glancing to the left frequently, catching glimpses of Laura out of the corner of her eye. The writer was questioning Bobby about what courses he planned on taking in his first semester, allowing the blonde to watch her unobserved or so she thought. A glance to the right would have shown Helen's eyes watching her like a hawk, noting each movement and look. Laura's hair had grown beyond the point where it should have been trimmed, if only to straighten out the ends which were beginning to curl along thee.g.of the writer's collar. From the shampoo bottles in the shower, Crystal knew Laura's hair tended to get split ends, the evidence visible in the way the dark hair seemed almost frizzy at the ends. It occurred to her that Laura wasn't the only one due for a haircut, her own blonde locks getting close to the longest point Crystal had ever let them grow and she wondered if perhaps a shorter style might not be such a badi.e.after all. It certainly would make it easier to work if she didn't have to keep putting it in a ponytail to keep it off the back of her neck while she labored. Moving her attention away from hair, she took in other sights the eyebrows that seemed to always threaten to blend together into one solid bar above Laura's eyebrows, no doubt the reason for the tweezers that always sat on the shelf next to the toothbrushes. A slight bump at the bridge of the nose, caused according to Laura by forgetting the laws of physics and applying the front brake of her ten speed without also engaging the rear one. Crystal also knew her roommate had a different accident on her bicycle resulting in a broken wrist when she was twelve but there was no permanent evidence of that one. Realizing she was no longer sneaking glances but actually staring, Crystal blushed slightly and turned her attention back to the plate in front of her. She offered her compliments on the meal without singling out any particular person, pleased when Gail, Bobby and Laura smiled, obviously all three believing they were responsible for the way dinner turned out.

"So Crystal," Helen said. "Anyi.e.who you're going to vote for?"

"Uh no, not yet," she lied, knowing the older woman was referring to the upcoming presidential election. She planned on voting democratic but know Laura's mother was a republican and didn't want to get into a discussion about politics.

"Aunt Helen, you know politics and religion are two subjects that don't make for good conversation," Laura said admonishingly. Crystal suspected the writer was trying to steer her aunt away from any subject that might start a disagreement.

"My friends and I often have lively discussions about politics," Helen protested, then sighed. "But I suppose we can find another avenue to talk about. Do you think the Yankees have a chance this year?"

Bobby jumped at that one. "Are you kidding? With their shortstop there's no way they're going to miss the playoffs. He doesn't let anything get past him."

"He can't catch the ones that go over the fence and I think the Mets are going to be the only New York team we'll see in the postseason," Laura said. "Seven people in their starting lineup are still batting over three hundred and it's almost September."

"That's because they're in the National League where there aren't any good pitchers," he argued, stabbing at his chicken with his fork. "The Bronx Bombers will come back, you wait and see."

"How my two children could grow up in a home that loves the Red Sox and be fans of New York teams, I'll never know," Gail said in a much put upon voice. She looked at Crystal. "You should have seen how she was in eighty six," she said, referring to Laura. "Her father was still alive at that time and we were all watching game six in the living room." Her eyes grew distant as she relayed the memory. "You should have seen her. The Mets were on the verge of losing it all, down to their last out and her father was ecstatic. Laura just sat there pouting and pulling that stupid Mets hat down over her eyes."

"But the Mets won that year, didn't they?" Crystal asked.

"Yeah but only because the Red Sucks first baseman let the ball bobble through his legs," Bobby said. Looking to the left, Crystal noticed the smile on Laura's face.

"All's fair in love war and the world series," Laura said. "Dad was pretty upset. I never heard him swear so much but all I could do was jump around the room for joy."

"And your father was most appreciative of the way you tore through the newspaper the next morning, making sure to point out the headline of the sports section to him," Gail said with a touch of reproach in her voice.

"I was just a teenager then, Mom," Laura defended, the smile leaving her face.

"Of course you were, pumpkin," Helen said. "So what about you, Crystal? What team do you like?"

Crystal suspected no one really cared which team she did or did not like but sensed that Helen was trying to bring her into the conversation. Putting her fork down, she took a moment to dab at her lips with the napkin. "I don't really care about baseball."

"I suggest being a Mets fan if you want any peace," Bobby said. "Especially since they're in first place and there's only ten games left to the regular season. If they make the playoffs, I'm sure Sis will be watching every game on TV." A wicked smirk came to his face and he looked at his sister although he continued to speak to Crystal. "Then again, if you rooted whatever teams were playing against the Mets, it'd certainly make Laura flip her lid."

"Now don't you go giving her ideas," Laura warned.

"Aw why not?" he teased. "You need someone to give you a hard time since I can't be there to do it." He gave an impish smile which his sister returned with a smile that was anything but friendly.

"Keep it up and I'll email you a virus," Laura threatened.

"And I'll put your phone number all over the bathroom walls at school," he playfully threatened back.

"All right, enough of that, you two," their mother admonished. "Honestly, it's just like when they were younger," she said to Helen who nodded in agreement.

"Why do you think I never took the two of them for visits at the same time?" Helen asked. "I knew better."

Crystal listened to the conversation going on around her. She could never remember a peaceful dinner with her own family, most being made up of TV dinners eaten off trays in the living room with Patty while her mother slept off her day's drinking. The big holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas usually were marked by her father making loud and disparaging remarks about whatever member of the family was hosting the event and usually ending with loud arguments between her parents once they were home. Crystal doubted Laura had ever experienced anything like that and wondered if she would be invited back for another dinner once the holidays came around. Crystal was surprised to find she was hoping for just that.

After dinner Bobby offered to clear the table while Laura made coffee and Helen and Gail went to the living room. Unsure what to do with herself, Crystal excused herself and stepped outside for a cigarette. Assuming that the sisters were chatting away happily, she was surprised when the back door opened and Helen stepped out, her silver cigarette case in hand. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Crystal said, motioning at an empty chair. The veranda was framed in red brick, contrasting nicely with the cream colored furniture and the deep green grass surrounding it. "It's very nice out here," she commented.

"Gail paid a fortune to have someone do the landscaping," Helen explained. "I remember she used to have this god awful oak tree right in the middle of the yard. It was fine for the kids to climb or put a swing on but it ruined the whole effect of the yard." The older woman took a puff of her cigarette, the filtered end ringed with her lipstick. "So what did you think of dinner?"

"It was very good. I enjoyed it," Crystal offered, her expression turning to one of confusion when she saw Helen shake her head and smile. "I didn't mean the food," she explained. "I get the feeling that you're not one for being around a lot of people. You tried very hard to avoid joining in any of the discussions unless you were asked a direct question."

Crystal blinked and took a drag of her cigarette, surprised that her quietness had been picked up on. "I guess I'm not much for social things. I never know what to say."

Helen laughed. "Honey this wasn't a social occasion, this was just family getting together for dinner."

"I'm not family," the blonde pointed out.

"So it was family plus one," Helen corrected. "You looked so uncomfortable I thought you were going to bolt out the door when I took your hand for grace."

"I'm just not used to it," Crystal said. "It's not something my family ever did."

Helen nodded and was quiet for a minute. "You know if there was something going on between you and my niece that I wouldn't mind." Crystal looked up quickly and opened her mouth to protest but was stopped by the older woman's upraised hand. "Now I know what both of you have said and judging from the way both of your bedrooms look it seems to be the case but don't think I didn't notice the way you two act around each other either. I may be over fifty but I'm not blind to the signs." She stubbed the half finished cigarette into the pie tin being used as a makeshift ashtray. "Personally I think the two of you are just not looking at what's right in front of your faces."

"I'm not gay," Crystal said, wondering just what 'signs' Helen had seen. Was it the way Laura caressed her hand during grace? The gentle touches on the shoulder?

"So you say," Helen said, not sounding at all convinced of that fact. "You told me the other day that you haven't been in any serious relationships so how do you know?" "I

" Stymied, Crystal tried to think of an answer. Of course she was straight, right? After all, she had never been with a woman and never looked as a woman as a sexual partner. The fact she felt closer to Laura than anyone else in her current life didn't mean that she wanted to pursue a lesbian relationship with her. No, Laura was just a good friend who held her when she cried, who made dinner every night and took the time to listen whenever she needed to talk. They were just close because they lived together, right? "I

" Crystal swallowed and tried again. "It's just not anything I've ever thought about." She took a final drag of her cigarette and put it out in the ashtray.

"Perhaps you should," Helen said gently, reaching up with her fingers to straighten out the wild mess of platinum hair being blown by the gentle breeze. "I may be a hopeless romantic but I know that love sometimes shows up in the most unexpected places. You shouldn't shut the doors without at least taking a look at what's inside." Just then the door opened and Laura stuck her head out.

"Hey, I found the old home movies and Bobby just went to the attic to get the screen. Crystal, do you want to watch some boring home movies?" "Oh," Helen said excitedly, pushing herself up from her chair. "I haven't seen those in years. You were such a cute little girl."

"Sure, sounds like fun," Crystal said, rising from her chair as well. From the portraits and photos lining the walls of the house, she had a good i.e.of how Laura looked as a child but to actually see a home movie would give a life to those images. It also helped that the movies would serve as a way to end the conversation between her and Helen. The older woman entered the house first and Crystal was very aware of Laura holding the door open for her and the way the writer's hand seemed to brush her shoulder as she walked past.

"What?" Laura asked, causing Crystal to realize she had been staring.

"Oh nothing, just got lost in thought, I guess," the blonde woman replied lamely, hoping her answer did not sound as stupid to Laura as it did to her. The living room boasted two chairs and a low couch. Bobby rearranged the furniture so they were all facing the portable movie screen and took his seat on the right side of the couch while Gail and Helen took possession of the chairs. Feeling that it would look silly to sit on the floor when there was space available on the couch, Crystal took a seat at the left end, leaving the center for Laura, who was busy threading the film through the projector. When Laura did sit down, Crystal decided the couch wasn't as wide as she had originally thought. Her body was pressed against Laura from hip to shoulder. The film was starting, showing a gangly girl of ten and a baby dressed in blue sitting on the grass in front of a house.

"Forgot the lights," Bobby said, rising to his feet. Crystal looked over at Helen, surprised to see the older woman looking back with a knowing smile on her face. Crystal wanted to scowl but thought it inappropriate since she was a guest and turned her attention to the screen where the scene had changed to show Laura's mother and a big burly man with short white hair that she could only assume was Laura's father. Crystal started when she felt warm breath near her ear.

"There really are some funny parts in here," Laura whispered. "Like when Bobby climbed into the fish tank trying to catch Dad's prized angel fish. Mom caught it and filmed it before Dad got home."

"Uh huh," Crystal murmured, hoping Laura would turn her attention back to the screen, certain that Helen could somehow see in the dark and was smiling at them.

"That wasn't so bad," Laura said as she backed the Jeep out of the driveway.

"It was fine. Your family is very nice," Crystal said, looking out the passenger window as the Taylor house slowly slipped out of sight. "I don't think Mom had to break out the photo albums, especially the baby pictures."

"Oh I thought those were cute, especially the tub pictures." Crystal said but the teasing tone that should have been there was conspicuously absent. "Is something bothering you?" Laura ventured.

"Naw, just have a lot on my mind," came the dismissive answer. It didn't satisfy the writer at all, especially when she looked over and saw the faraway look on Crystal's face.

"It helps to share."

"Naw, I just need to think some things out." Clearly it wasn't a subject that Crystal wanted to share. Laura tried twice more on the ride home to initiate a conversation only to give up when she could not get anything more than one or two word answers. When they arrived home, Crystal said her good nights and immediately disappeared into her bedroom, leaving Laura to wonder what had happened at her mother's house to have such an effect on the younger woman's mood.