Crystal's Heart

Chapter Sixth

Crystal smiled at the open parking space in front of the office building. A quick glance at her watch told her she had less than five minutes to get parked and up to Jenny's office for her session. After parking the car and putting several quarters into the meter, she headed through the revolving door into the building.

"Good morning, Miss Sheridan," Catherine said, marking Crystal's arrival off on the schedule chart. "Miss Foster will be right with you."

She nodded and gave a slight grunt in acknowledgement before sitting on one of the chairs near the wall. I need more coffee, she thought to herself, wishing now that she hadn't spent an extra twenty minutes sleeping this morning. Of course she had wanted an early appointment due to Jenny's rule about not drinking or smoking pot before a session. Guess I can't complain. At the sound of a door opening, she looked up and saw Jenny.

"Good morning, Crystal. Shall we get started?"

"Sit where you want," Jenny said as she closed the door behind them. Crystal's choices were still the same, the couch, chair, or bean bags. Without realizing why, she chose the chair, tucking her legs up beneath her on the thick leather cushion. "So how are you this morning?" the therapist asked as she took a seat on the couch, a clipboard with several papers on her lap.

"Fine," she wiped her hands on her pant legs, surprised at the feeling of her body temperature rising. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced since being called into the principal's office in high school. "I could use some more coffee, though."

"Help yourself. There's a pot on the table over there in the corner." Jenny said. "If you like, you can bring in a mug of your own to use." "Naw, thanks anyway, Doc." She stood up and crossed over to the machine, pulling a white Styrofoam cup off the stack. "I don't get attached to things like mugs. Besides, most of what I had burned up in the fire."

"It doesn't hurt to have a favorite coffee cup, Crystal. Something special for you. Did you have any special things when you were a child?"

Crystal stopped pouring cream into her coffee and looked down at the mocha and black swirls blending together. "I didn't have anything special when I was a kid, Doc. Just Patty." Tossing the plastic stirrer in the trash, she went back to her chair and looked at her friend/therapist. "So is that why I'm so fucked up? Because I never had a cup of my own?"

"I would rather you didn't think of yourself as damaged goods, Crystal," Jenny admonished gently. "Speaking of damage. Let's talk about that awful looking bruise on your face."

"I told you at the game Saturday that it was nothing."

"And I believe I told you what I thought of that answer. No copping out, Crystal, remember? So who hit you and why?"

"Some punk assed college guy showing off for his buddies. He wanted more than a look and when I tried to get away he hit me." "How did it make you feel?"

Oh great. Here we go with the touchy feely questions. "How do you think it made me feel?" she answered, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the diplomas on the wall. They were too far away to read but it was better than having to look Jenny in the eye. "I'd rather you told me than guess," Jenny countered. "Let's make the question even easier. Forget about that one incident. How does stripping make you feel in general?"

She shrugged. "It's a job."

"So is being a therapist."

Crystal caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her head to see the brown haired woman writing something. "What?" "Hmm?"

"What are you writing?"

"I'm just making a note, Crystal. There's so much to talk about that sometimes I make notes to go back and focus on a particular subject." "So what'd you write?" She was surprised when the therapist handed over the clipboard.

"See for yourself. There's nothing in there that is secret from you," Jenny said. "Anything written in there is only to help you, not hurt."

Crystal took the clipboard and looked at the top paper. A lined form showed today's date and several scribbled words in Jenny's handwriting. She cringed at one word circled in blue ink. Notebook. "Um, I uh

about the notebook. I don't get to the store much."

"It's not going to work," Jenny said as she rose from the couch and went to her desk. "I can't make this happen for you. You have to want to change enough to do the things you need to do." She opened a drawer and pulled out a composition book. "Here. Bring it with you each time. You don't have to show me what's in it if you don't want to but I do expect you to write in it each day."

Taking the notebook, Crystal opened it and flipped the pages. Stark white with thin blue lines loomed before her. "I

I'm not really good at writing." The book was closed and set on the stand next to her coffee.

"Think of it as a diary."

"Diaries are stupid. Why write down all your secrets just so someone else can find them?"

"Is that what you're afraid of?" Jenny returned to her casual position on the couch. "That someone will use your words against you?" "I wouldn't even know what to write about."

"Write about whatever comes to mind in whatever form you need it to be. Poetry, prose, a letter to an old friend, anything."

"Yeah, fine," she said, resigning herself to scribbling something in the notebook. Sensing a pause in the conversation, she picked up the cup of lukewarm coffee and took a sip.

"Are you comfortable?" Jenny asked, putting the clipboard down and sitting cross-legged on the couch. Crystal set the cup down and crossed her arms before nodding. "Good," the therapist continued. "Have you been reading your morning meditations?" Another nod. While she didn't take the time to think about the meaning of the passages, she did open the book each morning and glance at it. "So today's topic is about putting the blame where it belongs."

Uh oh. Crystal stiffened, shifting until her legs were tucked up beneath her. The feeling of being in the principal's office was returning with renewed force. "I know where the blame belongs," she said softly, her gaze returning to the safety of the cream colored diplomas on the wall.

"Where?"

"With him."

"Give him a name."

"Him. My mother's useless excuse for a husband."

"Your father."

Crystal grunted and took a deep breath.

"What did you call him?"

"You mean besides fucking asshole?" She shifted again, wishing she was allowed to smoke in the therapist's office.

"Besides that," Jenny said with a knowing smirk.

"We called him" It took some effort to get the word out. "

Daddy." Crystal made no effort to keep the venom out of her voice. "He didn't deserve to be called that. I hate the bastard." "Why?"

"You know why. I told you he hurt me and Patty."

"There are many ways to hurt someone, Crystal. What did he do?"

Her right foot began twitching nervously. "I dunno, everything I guess."

"You do know. No copouts."

Crystal turned and glared at the therapist. "He hit us," she said angrily. "He thought being our father gave him the right to beat the shit out of us whenever he wanted. That enough?" She looked back at the diplomas, waiting for the reaction to her outburst.

"You tell me," Jenny said calmly. "Are your nightmares about him hitting you and your sister?"

"They're about a lot of things," she shrugged, her anger deflated somewhat by the gentle tone directed at her. "Sometimes." "What are they about most of the time?"

The foot moved faster. "Different things." Just say it, the little voice in her head screamed. Go ahead. Shock her ass and tell her how he used to crawl into your bed at night. Tell her what a dirty little girl you were. Crystal's breathing increased, the walls of the large office seeming far too confining. "I-I gotta go," she said suddenly, rising from her chair.

"Crystal, wait." Jenny stood as well, the clipboard casually tossed on the couch.

"No, I have to go."

"You can end a session any time you feel you have to but I don't want you to run off because you're afraid to face feelings that come up in here." She reached around Crystal and picked up the notebook. "Remember that whatever you say in this room, whatever you write about in this book, it stays here. No one is going to use it against you or judge you for it." Handing the notebook to Crystal, she added "Besides, I have a feeling you do enough self-judging as it is."

While the walls seemed to stop closing in, the young woman still found herself unable to look Jenny in the eye, choosing instead to stare at the black and white marbled cover of the composition book. "You think so, huh Doc?"

"Yeah, I think so," Jenny said softly. Crystal tried not to flinch when she felt the soft pressure of the therapist's hand on her shoulder. "We're going to work on that." Releasing her grasp, Jenny moved back a step. "All right, I can see the trapped rabbit look in your eyes. Read your meditations, write in your journal, and most important of all, do something nice for yourself each day."

Crystal rolled her eyes. Oh yeah, do something nice for myself each day. Keep living in the clouds, Doc. To Jenny she said "Yeah, okay Doc. I'll see you next week."

Screech! Crystal jammed both feet on her brake pedal to avoid rear-ending the truck in front of her. A second later she saw the reason for the sudden stop as a quickly moving delivery person darted between the slow moving traffic. "Oh I hate driving downtown," she said out loud. Screaming guitar chords answered back from the rear speakers. The Omni lacked air conditioning, a must in the late July heat, forcing her to leave the windows down in hopes of a passing breeze. Surrounded by multi-story buildings with mirrored windows, that hope was quickly fading.

Halfway up the next block she saw an open parking space, the first one in over ten minutes. Pulling a paper napkin from the pile wedged between the seat and emergency brake, Crystal wiped the perspiration from her face. "Ah damn." Surrounded by neatly cut grass was a bright yellow fire hydrant, revealing why the curb space was unoccupied. Deciding to take her chances, she jerked the wheel to the right and pulled the hatchback into the parking space. Stretching across the seat, she rolled the windows up to within an inch of the top, hoping the small opening would be enough to keep the interior from becoming a sauna while she was gone.

A large sign affixed to the chain link fencing surrounding the building proclaimed it to be another M. Swenson Construction project. Now the trick is to find Michael, she thought, opening the gate and stepping into the construction area. Piles of debris were everywhere, neatly organized according to material. She saw workers moving about, carrying burnt boards and twisted metal framing. He must be inside somewhere. "Hey lady, this is a hard hat area. You can't be running around in here."

She turned to see a tall man wearing a yellow safety helmet running towards her. "Lady, we're dumping things out the windows and off the roof. You shouldn't be in here."

"I'm looking for Michael Swenson."

"He's inside but you still can't run around without a hard hat." He pointed at the archway leading into the building. "Stand there for now. That way nothing falls on you. I'll be right back." He took off around the corner of the building, returning moments later with a safety helmet in his hand. "Here.

Michael's inside in the back office. Go straight down and take a right. You can't miss him."

"Thank you."

Michael was on the phone when she walked in. "Hold on just a minute, Peter, okay?" He held the phone to his chest. "Well hello there, Miss Sheridan. I'll be right with you." He put the phone back to his ear. "Peter? I'll call you back. Someone just came in. Okay good. Bye." Setting the phone back in its cradle, the large blonde man smiled and stepped around his desk. "And how are you today?"

"Fine thanks and please call me Crystal."

"So what brings you downtown?"

"You said at dinner last week that you were looking for help."

"Well yes but that's just for demolition work. You know, hard manual labor." He looked at her skeptically. "I don't think it's a job suited to you."

Crystal took the hard hat off, confident that nothing would fall on her head while in the office. "It's just hauling stuff out, right? Sheetrock and stuff? Laura said you've hired her before."

"Well, yes I have but this is a great deal of sweat work, Crystal. I don't know if you're suited for it." He pointed at the metal folding chair. "Please, have a seat." He leaned against the desk. "Why would you want to do something like this anyway and more importantly, what happened to your face?"

"Some drunk at the club," she said, answering the latter question first. "And I need the money. I can't work there looking like this."

Michael walked over to the file cabinet and picked up one of the clipboards resting atop it. "I suppose it's only fair to give you a chance," he said. "Fill these out and I need a copy of your social security card and license." He handed her the clipboard, which had several employment forms on it. "I hire by the day, pay by the week. Payday is Monday for the previous week. Ten dollars an hour, half-hour lunch and a ten minute break every hour. I'll issue you a set of gloves and a hat but you'll have to get your own boots. I'm afraid those sneakers just won't do around here."

"That's fine. I can get those today." She filled in the various lines of required information while they talked. "What hours?" "I open the gate at seven and close it at six." He pointed at the time clock affixed to the wall. "The last six digits of your social security number will be your code."

"Um" Crystal paused at question seven on the form. "What if I don't know the answer to every question?"

"Then leave it blank. It's just the highlighted areas that are required anyway," he said, reaching for the coffee pot. "Would you like some?" "Please and it is a highlighted area."

"Cream and sugar? Which part?"

"Both please and it's the part about who to contact in an emergency. Can't I just leave it blank?"

"Don't you have family around here?"

"No."

Michael shrugged. "I dunno. I just put down Peter. Why don't you put down Laura?" He opened the cube shaped mini-refrigerator and pulled out a pint of half-n-half. "I mean, I know you two aren't lovers or anything but you are friends, right? I'm sure if something happened to you she'd want to know about it." He handed her the mug. "Hope I didn't make it too sweet."

Crystal took a sip and shook her head. "No, it's fine. So when can I start?"

"As soon as you show up with work boots, steel toed. My insurance won't let you work without them." He looked at his watch. "It's almost noon. You have to be able to work a minimum of four hours each day so if you can be back here by two, you can work today. Otherwise it'll be tomorrow." He reach over and pulled a business card out of the dispenser. "Here," he said, writing something on the back of the card. "If you go out fifty six toward the airport, there's an outlet store near the old Miller's factory." He handed her the card. "This guy will give you a really good deal, just show him the card."

"Friend of yours?"

"Ex-lover actually but he gives discounts to people I send over." He glanced over at the clipboard. "Almost done?"

"Just about." She pulled her sport wallet out of her pocket. "Here's my license and there's the social security card."

"Good." Michael took the cards over to the copy machine in the corner. "I do expect at least a few days notice before you quit." "Oh, sure. I wouldn't just run out on you," she assured.

"Well, don't make promises until you've actually seen the work." He handed the cards back to her. "I can't count the number of men that have taken this job and quit within a day." He shook his head. "Guess some people are afraid of a little hard work. Well, I have to go check on a few things." He donned his hard hat and removed a walkie-talkie from the charger. "Enjoy your coffee and perhaps I'll see you this afternoon."

As Michael had promised, the manager of the outlet store gave Crystal a discount on the work boots. Coming out of the store with her purchase, she was surprised to hear her name being called. "Crystal, is that you?"

"Hey Steph, how's it going?"

"Oh the usual. Tom's being a jerk and the kids are little monsters but what else is new, eh?" The redhead pointed at the bulge in Crystal's shirt. "Got an extra cig?"

"Sure. So what are you doing out here?" she asked while handing over a cigarette and her lighter. "I thought you guys were over in that trailer park on Ohio."

"We were but Tom got into a huge fight with that asshole landlord over the dog and we had to move. We're over on Essex now." "That's too bad."

"Yeah, this landlord's a real asshole too but at least we were able to move in without references," the redhead said, taking a long drag on the cigarette. "Tom sent me over to buy some beer. You wanna come over?" She leaned closer. "We just got an ounce of the most fabulous stuff." She brought her fingertips to her lips. "Tasty and out of this world. I'm telling ya, Crys, this bag is really primo. One joint and you'll be high for hours."

"Oh, I'd love to but I have to get to work. You got a phone yet?"

"No, damn phone company. I have to pay at least half of my old bill and make arrangements on the other half before they'll give me a new one. You'd think because I have kids they'd be more lenient. Hey, you wouldn't"

"No, I have an old bill too," Crystal lied.

"Damn, that's too bad. We've already used Ricky and Marci's names. Oh well. Hey, why don't you come over when you get done with work? It's the white trailer with yellow trim just after you enter the park."

"All right. I think I'll be done around six or so. I'll come over after that."

"That'd be great. Hey, if you can spare it feel free to bring a twelve pack or so. We'll have plenty of weed."

"Deal." Crystal pulled the keys out of her pocket. "I have to get going. I'll see you later. Good seeing you, Steph."

"You too, Crys. Later."

Crystal walked to her car, surprised by the chance meeting. She had not seen Stephanie for almost a year. It was a pain to drive over just to see if they were home and there was no way to predict what kind of mood Tom would be in. Still, if they were home, it was almost a guarantee there would be marijuana. Looks like I won't have to use up my stuff tonight, Crystal thought as she unlocked the Omni.

Returning downtown, she was pleased to discover a parking space not far from the building. Pushing the seat back, Crystal exchanged her sneakers for the beige work boots. Am I nuts? I'm not some butch construction woman, I'm a stripper. Still the job had come easy and the pay was too good to ignore. Well, like he said, if I don't like it I'm only out the cost of the boots. Oh well, they'll be useful in the winter anyway.

She found Michael in the office. The large bear of a man smiled when he saw her. "I'm so delighted you returned. I put you in the computer already just in case." He looked at her feet. "I see you found a pair that fit. Good. Let's get you punched in on the clock and then I'll show you where you'll be working." He walked over to the cabinet next to the copier and opened it, pulling out a brand new helmet and leather gloves. "They're sized for men so I figure small would be about right for you."

After showing her how to use the time clock, Michael led Crystal up the rear stairs to the third floor. "The service elevator works but don't use it unless you have a full load to go down. It's not the greatest and we don't want to use it any more than necessary." They stepped through an open doorway a hall ruined by smoke and water damage. Around them were the sounds of power tools and radios trying to outblast each other. "We'll start you out here," Michael yelled over the din. "The supervisor always has a red hardhat so he should be easy to spot." Crystal nodded her understanding. "The guys will knock the sheetrock down and haul it into the hallway. See that open window down there? There's a chute attached leading to the dumpster. Your job is taking the piles the guys throw out in the hall and putting it in the chute, got it?"

"Got it," she replied.

"Good. I'll leave you to get started then."

The doors were absent from the row of offices, making it easier for the guys to throw the broken pieces of wall out from the rooms. Great, with my luck I'll be walking past just as one of them throws some out. Picking up the flat shovel leaning against the wall, Crystal slid it under several pieces of sheetrock and tried to lift it.

"You ain't never going to get anywhere doing it that way," a male voice said. Crystal turned to see a short man wearing a red safety helmet standing there. "I'm Josh Thompson. Michael just told me you were here."

"So if you don't use the shovel, how do you get all this stuff all the way down there?" she asked. Josh smiled and picked up several pieces in his arms.

"You use a little sweat and muscle, lady," he said, handing the pile to her. "That's what the gloves are for. Otherwise your hands will get all blistered." He looked at his watch. "Okay, you might as well get started. I'll let you know when it's break time." He turned and left into one of the rooms.

Use a little sweat and muscle, she groused. I'll show you some sweat and muscle, you son of a bitch. Why aren't you big strong boys out here doing this? Piling as many pieces of the broken walls as she could in her arms, Crystal stepped over the series of piles to the end of the hallway. The large window had no glass, broken during the fire and removed after to make room for the chute. Crystal dumped the first armful, leaning out to watch it slide down the sturdy tarp chute. That's not so bad. I can do this. Smiling to herself, the blonde headed back for another pile.

By four o'clock, the confidence she held at two was long gone, replaced with a steady ache in her arms. She discovered the shovel was only good for scooping up the tiny pieces after the larger ones were removed. The men ignored her for the most part, concentrating on their work and running downstairs the instant break was announced. Crystal spent her break alone, leaning against the window frame and looking down at the street below. That's twenty bucks so far, she mentally calculated. Two more hours and I'll earn back what I spent on boots. She took a last drag on the cigarette and threw it out the window. She turned and looked at piles of busted up sheetrock looming at her. Well isn't going to move itself.

By five minute before six o'clock, Crystal figured out an easier way to move the sheetrock, using the shovel to push the pieces down the hall, then it was a simple matter of scooping the pieces up and throwing them out the window. It made the work go faster even if her back was screaming from the strain. "Miss Sheridan." Crystal turned to see Josh and Michael standing there. "You certainly did your share today," the supervisor said. Michael nodded in agreement.

"You did indeed. I can't begin to tell you the number of men who've walked off after an hour."

"That's because no one has a work ethic these days," Josh added. He looked at Crystal. "To be honest, lady, I didn't think you'd last the afternoon." Well fuck you, I did. And I'll do it tomorrow too. "What time do we start tomorrow?"

"Remember I said I open the gate at seven and close it at six. Whatever shift you can get yourself in here for is fine. Just be responsible. Nothing irritates me more than someone just not showing up."

"I'll be here," Crystal assured him.

"You show up at that hour and I'll buy you your first cup of coffee," Michael offered. "Now go get punched out and have a good night. Say hello to Laura for me."

The Omni turned onto Essex Street, Crystal instinctively reaching around and locking her doors in the process. A dead end street leading to one of the oldest trailer parks in the county, Essex was a haven for people wanting to operate outside the law. It was common to see the skeletons of stolen cars littering the empty corner lot and children without shoes playing in the street. Crystal avoided eye contact with the people sitting on porches or leaning against cars as she guided the hatchback into the park. She spotted the white and yellow trailer immediately and parked in front of it, the driveway taken up by a old red pickup truck. Heavy metal music blared from behind closed windows. I guess you're the same asshole as ever, eh Tom?

"Hey Crystal, glad you could make it," Stephanie said as she opened the door. "Oh good, you did remember to stop and get some beer. Come on in, Tom's just rolling up one."

"Great, I could use it after the day I had." Stepping inside, the smell of stale cigarette and marijuana smoke assaulted her senses. Damn Steph, open a fucking window, will ya? At least turn on a fan. A green couch lined one wall while the television and a recliner took up the adjoining one. Tom was seated in the recliner, the television tray next to it covered with rolling papers and empty beer cans. The arm of the chair held the overflowing ashtray.

"Hey Crystal, how the hell are ya?" he asked. "Just about to light one up. Have a seat."

"Hi Tom."

"I'll put these in the fridge," Stephanie said, taking the twelve pack from Crystal.

"Make sure you leave one of those for me first," her husband demanded.

Crystal sat down on the couch and pulled her cigarettes out of her pocket. "I'll take one too."

"Why bother putting them in the fridge then?" the redhead said, sitting down next to her on the couch and opening the cardboard package. "Tom, stop fucking around and light that thing."

"I'm lighting it, I'm lighting it. Jeez, don't be a bitch just because your friend is here. You're really gonna like this shit, Crystal. One hit wonder for sure. I had a joint by myself this morning and it knocked me on my ass for hours."

"That's why I had to go get the beer earlier. He woke up before I did and wouldn't let me have any until I got him the beer." "That's the only way I can get you to do anything," Tom said.

Oh fuck, don't start already, Crystal groaned inwardly. That's right, take a hit and stop thinking about being an asshole. She took the joint eagerly from him and brought it to her lips. Oh yeah, this is tasty stuff. "Damn, where do you guys get such good shit?"

"My cousin has a farm about three hours north of here. He grows it in his barn," Tom said proudly. "Man, he always has the best fucking stuff going. Hardly any seeds and just look at all the red hairs in here." He held out a sandwich bag half filled with dried out buds. "Fucking beautiful stuff. Not like that shit Smoky sells."

Crystal took another hit before passing the joint to Stephanie. "Oh yeah, this is very nice."

"So what's with the shit kickers?" the redhead asked, pointing at Crystal's boots.

"Oh, I got a job clearing out the old credit union building on Exchange."

"You mean where they had the fire?"

"Stop talking and take your fucking hit," Tom growled, leaning forward in his seat to reach for the joint.

"Yeah," Crystal said, answering Stephanie's question. Stop being such a dork, Tom. "Pay's pretty good. Ten an hour and the hours are flexible." "You hear that?" the redhead addressed her husband. "Ten bucks an hour. Are they hiring?"

"I think so. I was just hired today." Crystal reached out to take the joint from Tom, who insisted on getting at least three hits in before passing it. "I don't work for less than twelve," he said, reaching for his beer. "So how come you ain't working down at the Tom Cat anymore?" "I'm just doing this temporarily while my lip heals. I got hurt in a bar fight last week."

"Oh." Tom took a several gulps from the can. "Gonna say, with an ass like yours you're better off making some money with it than doing work some fat bitch can do." He reached out to take the joint from Stephanie. "Not like this cow can get paid to take off her clothes."

"Fuck you," the redhead said. "Keep it up and you can sleep at your fucking mother's house tonight."

"At least her house isn't a fucking pigsty like this place," he said, passing the joint to Crystal. "She doesn't work all day. You think she'd be able to run the fucking vacuum once in a while."

Oh man, please don't fight tonight, Crystal silently pleaded. I just want to catch a good buzz and get going.

"Like you head off each morning to work, right?"

"Oh fuck you, Steph." He grabbed the baggie and his cigarettes off the tray and stood up. "I don't have to sit and listen to this shit." "Fine, go to Mark's or something. I don't give a shit."

"Fine."

"Just leave me some pot, will ya?"

"Go to hell. Get your own." He stormed out the door, not bothering to close it.

"Where's he going?" Crystal asked, taking advantage of the commotion to take an extra couple of hits on the joint. "Hey, you got any clips?"

"On the shelf behind you," Stephanie answered. "Screw him. I knew he wouldn't leave me any." She walked into the bathroom and returned with a canister of hair spray. Crystal found a set of forceps, the tips sticky with built up resin, and clipped thee.g.of the joint.

"Here you go. There isn't much left."

"Don't worry about it, Crys." Stephanie took the seat vacated by Tom and took the offered roach clip. "Thanks." She inhaled sharply, making the tip of the joint blaze orange. Handing it back, she exhaled slowly to avoid choking. "Oh that's good. Here." The redhead held the hair spray canister in both hands and gave it a twist. The bottom unscrewed to reveal a small metal pipe, rolling papers, lighter and a black film canister. "Tom doesn't know about this. Whenever he's got a new batch, after he falls asleep I come out and pinch a few buds for myself. He thinks he's punishing me, the stupid asshole." She opened the film case and dumped the hidden stash of marijuana out onto the tray. "You feel like switching to the pipe? I hate fucking around with papers."

"Sure, no prob," Crystal replied. "So you and Tom are obviously back together. You're not working anymore?"

"No, fuck that. I had a job delivering pizza but the truck broke down and I couldn't afford to get it fixed. Asshole boss wouldn't let me use the company car because I had a minor fender bender with it last winter."

"That sucks." I wouldn't loan you my car either. I know how you drive. Crystal took the metal pipe and reached for her lighter. "Where are the kids?" "Marci is staying with my mother until the hearing next week. They won't tell me where Ricky is." Stephanie took the pipe. "Tom and I were fighting and the fucking neighbors called the cops. Well, you know how that goes. They came in and saw the pot out and busted us and took the kids."

"Oh no. So what happens now?"

Stephanie shrugged and lit the pipe. "I don't know."

"Well, did you call legal aid?"

"Why bother? They'll give me the kids back. Tom will agree to go into a rehab for thirty days and we'll get benefits while he's in there. It's happened before. Here."

Crystal took the pipe and sucked hard. How can you sit there and not care where your kids are and what they're doing? What are you still doing with that asshole? Finally the outrage within her was too much. "Steph, what are you still doing with him?"

"Oh, you know how it is, Crys. He says he won't do it again and I fall for it. Same shit all the time."

"But you keep going back to him. Why? At least I was smart enough to get away from shit like that."

"I know I know," the redhead said. "He's an asshole loser and always will be but what can I do? He's their father."

"So what? He's not a good one if he isn't bringing in any money. Steph, you deserve better than him. The kids do too." God! she screamed inside. She's acting just like my mother. "You think Marci likes waking up to him throwing one of his fits?"

"He's still their father." She shrugged. "I don't think it bothers her much." She held out the pipe. "Here, have another hit."

You have got to be kidding me. In her mind Crystal saw her mother sitting on a similar couch, drinking herself blind and ignoring the animal that terrorized her kids. Crystal held the lighter over the bowl and pressed the pipe to her lips. What am I doing here? Why am I sitting with this reincarnation of my mother? As she exhaled, another thought hit her. How the fuck am I gonna get home? "Steph, keep the beers but I've gotta get going here."

"You sure? Come on, sit down and have another beer. You can handle another one, can't you?"

"Of course I can but I really have to get going. I forgot I promised my roommate I'd help her with something tonight." Crystal grabbed her cigarettes and lighter, stuffing them into her pocket.

"You have a roommate? Since when?"

"My apartment burned down a few weeks ago. Listen, I really gotta go." Crystal stood up only to sit right back down. "Whoa." The pot hit hard, making it an effort to keep her eyes open.

"Hey, sit back and relax." Stephanie held the pipe out. "Come on, one more won't hurt. I never get company."

No shit, who'd want to? "No, I really do have to get home." Okay Crystal, you can do this, she told herself. Just get to your feet. Again she rose but this time managed to stay upright. "You know my beeper number right? Give me a call when you get a phone."

"Well, now you know where I live. Don't be such a stranger. Maybe with the kids not here Tom and I will have a party on the weekend or something. You should stop by."

"Yeah, maybe I will." Crystal reached for the doorknob, leaning her weight against it. "Thanks for the smoke."

"Anytime, Crys. Stop by soon."

Turn the knob, don't fall. Crystal tried to follow her own instructions but the steps proved to be too much of a challenge. She stumbled on the last one, ending up sitting on the ground. Shit. She looked up to see if Stephanie noticed but the porch was empty. Don't even give a shit enough to make sure I made it to the car, eh? Rolling onto her knees, Crystal forced herself to focus and stand up. Oh shit I had way too much to smoke. Leaning her hand against the side of the trailer, she made her way forward. Tom wasn't kidding about it being a one hit wonder, was he? Shit, I can barely stand up. She stumbled the remaining feet between the front of Stephanie's home and the Omni.

Open the door. Shit, unlock the door first, dummy. It took three tries to get the door open, then it was a challenge to wiggle the tortured key out of the lock. Oh shit, how am I supposed to drive? I'm not going to be able to see the fucking road. Crystal leaned against the headrest. Come on, Crys, you gotta get outta here. Stabbing blindly at the ignition finally resulted in getting the key where it belonged. Oh man, I shouldn't be doing this. Grabbing the steering wheel, she pulled herself upright and started the engine.

The window was down but was of little help. The Omni veered from side to side on its slow trek up Essex Street. A blaring horn jerked her out of her trance in time to avoid striking an oncoming vehicle. Shit, I can't do this. Turning the steering wheel, Crystal pulled into the corner lot and threw the car in park. On the corner stood a blue and white phone booth. Yeah, that's it. I'll call someone to get me. Then came another problem as a check of her pockets revealed two nickels and a penny. I bet I've dropped a quarter somewhere around here. Course there's not a chance in hell I'm bending over to look. I'd probably pass out.

Laura stared in disbelief at the screen. Three months? The response from the publisher had been swift. Upon missing her deadline, the print date for her book was pushed out three months, putting it past the big fall fair and ruining any chances she had of getting holiday sales. The print date change meant many things but of an even higher importance was the effect it had on her income. With the book now unavailable until after the new year, there would be no quarterly royalty checks for at least six months. Her previous works provided enough to pay the monthly bills but rent and day to day needs was a different matter. The phone rang but she made no effort to get it. Probably another telemarketer. Sighing, she closed the email and loaded her web browser. Guess I'll see if I can afford a tune-up before winter or if I have to conserve toothpaste. The phone continued to ring until the answering machine picked up. See? No message. Knew it wasn't important. Seconds later the phone rang again. Deciding this time that it wasn't a telemarketer, she walked over to the nightstand and picked up phone. "Hello?"

"This is the operator. Will you accept a collect call from Crystal Sheridan?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. Go ahead." There was an audible click followed by mild static.

"Crystal?"

"Laura, that you?"

"Yes, it's me. You're going to have to speak up, Crystal. I can barely hear you."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes."

"Are you busy?"

"Crystal, is something wrong?"

"Well can you give me a ride home?" "A ride yes, of course I can. Did it break down again?"

"No. I just can't drive." A passing truck distorted the rest of her words.

"What? Why can't you drive? Were you in an accident?" While talking, Laura picked her sneakers up and began putting them on. "Where are you?" "I'm up on Essex near the airport."

"Is your car driveable?"

"Yeah but I don't think I can drive, Laura." Snickering giggles were heard through the poor connection. "Can you come get me?" "Yes Crystal, I'll come get you. Where are you again? Up by the airport?"

"At the phone booth on the corner. Near the telephone pole."

"Fine. Listen to me. Get back in your car and lock all the doors. I'll be there as quick as I can."

"Laura?"

"What?"

"Are you gonna come get me? Really?" Laura heard a thunk followed by Crystal yelping. "Ow. I hit my head on the phone." She is really wasted. Essex Street was not a good section of town by any means. "Crystal? Crystal are you still there?" "Yeah, I'm here."

"Did you here me? I want you to go wait in the car and keep the doors locked until I get there, okay?"

"Okay, Laura?"

"What?"

"I really can't drive."

Oh great, now she's rambling. "No you shouldn't, Crystal. Get in the car and stay there."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm glad you called me instead of trying to drive home like that. Have you been drinking?"

"I only had one beer."

"So you're stoned, right?"

"Oh yeah. Very much stoned." Crystal giggled. "Petrified, in fact."

"Uh huh. Stay there. I'm on my way."

"Laura?"

"What?" The writer tried to keep the growing irritation out of her voice.

"You sure you're not mad at me?"

Laura sighed. "No, I'm not mad at you."

"Okay. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you. Now hang up the phone so I can come get you."

"You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"Good 'cause I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Crystal! For the last time I am not mad at you so hang up the phone!" Laura pressed the pressed the off button. She stoned. She stoned out of her mind out in the middle of nowhere. Pressing the button, she heard the dial tone and pressed the familiar digits.

"Hello?"

"Jen? It's Laura. Can you help me pick up Crystal and her car? I'll explain on the way."

By the time Laura pulled the Jeep into the lot, Jenny had been filled in what she knew. As expected the gray Omni was parked near the phone booth. "There she is." Laura pulled her vehicle up alongside and put it in park. "Are you going to drive hers or mine back?" "I'll drive hers," Jenny said. "Let's see who she feels like riding with."

Together they walked over to Crystal's car and stood by the driver's side. Laura reached out and tapped the window. "Crystal? Crystal, wake up. We're here."

"Hmm?"

"Wake up. It's Laura. Jenny's with me. We've come to take you home." She reached for the door handle. "Crystal? Hey." She rapped the glass with her knuckles. "Unlock the door."

"Hi Laura," the stoned woman mumbled.

"Unlock the door." As soon as she heard the click, Laura pulled on the handle. The door opened and it was only Jenny's quick moves that kept Crystal from sliding out onto the ground.

"Easy now." Once they had the semi-conscious woman back in her seat, the therapist mode took over. "Crystal? Crystal, focus on me." "Hmm?"

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Crystal proudly held up one wavering finger. "One what? Beer?"

"Yeah, just one," the blonde mumbled, her head rolling listlessly from side to side. "I'm stoned."

"So I see." Jenny looked up at Laura. "Any suggestions on how we're going to get her over to the passenger seat?"

"I haven't a clue," Laura replied.

"I'd say pull her over the seat but the gearshift is in the way."

"This car really has no room, does it?"

"Not much." Jenny tapped Crystal's cheek lightly. "Crystal

Crystal wake up. We have to move you."

"Mm? I'm awake. Wha?"

"Uh huh, let's move it, roomie." Laura looked at Jenny. "I think our best chance is to pull her over the gearshift. If we get her outside and she ends up on the ground there's no way we're going to be able to move her."

"I agree. I'll hold her while you go around to the passenger side," Jenny said.

"Let me get the keys. I'm sure that side is locked too." Laura walked around and opened the passenger door. "What's this?" she asked, holding up a composition book.

"Throw it in the back seat," Jenny answered, not revealing that she had seen Crystal earlier in the day.

It took some maneuvering on their part to get the stoned woman over the gearshift and into the passenger seat. Crystal struggled and squirmed, giggling to herself and mumbling incoherently.

"Hold still," Laura chastised. "I can't get the seat belt on you."

"Hi Lauraaa."

"Hi Crystal. Hold still and let me get the seat belt on, okay?"

"Okay." The blonde closed her eyes and rolled her head to the side. "I'm really stoned, you know."

"I know. I can tell." Laura smiled when she felt the click of the seat belt. "There. Jen, you want to drive her?"

"Sure. I'll meet you back at your place."

"No-o-o," Crystal whined, fidgeting around in her seat. "Why can't you drive me?"

Laura smiled at the petulant face before her. "Because I have my own car to drive, that's why." Standing up, she closed the passenger door and walked around the car. Handing the keys to Jenny, she bent down to look through the glass at Crystal. "She's really out of it."

"You heard her. She's stoned out of her mind. I doubt she even knows where she is right now."

"Why does she get this way?" Laura straightened and shook her head. "I just don't understand it."

"Have you ever asked her?"

"What?"

Jenny took Laura's hand and turned it palm up. "She asked you to drive her home." Placing the keys in the open hand, she turned and walked toward the Jeep. "Seems to me it's a perfect opportunity for you to ask her."

"Don't run any lights with my car," Laura called out, receiving a half-wave of Jenny's arm. I know you will, she silently groused. Closing her fingers around the keys, she reached for the door handle. "All right Crystal, let's get you home."

"Hi Laura."

"Hi yourself." She closed the door and felt around for the ignition.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

"I told you I wasn't." Finding the elusive ignition, Laura put the key in and started the engine. "Would I have come out to get you if I was mad at you?" "I dunno." Crystal shrugged. "I wasn't sure you would."

"Of course I would," Laura said, following Jenny out of the parking lot and onto the main road. "I wouldn't leave you out here all alone, no matter what condition you were in." She slowed down for the traffic light. "So what were you doing out here?"

"I was visiting someone I knew."

"Is that who got you so stoned?"

"Yeah, I didn't know it was so strong." Crystal leaned her head against the window. "I don't think I could drive home."

Laura glanced over briefly before turning her attention back to the traffic. "No doubt about it, you have no business behind the wheel of a car." She drove several blocks before a quiet voice spoke.

"That's why I called you."

Flexing her fingers on the steering wheel, Laura kept her eyes straight ahead. "Well

I'm glad you did."

"I never did that before."

"Did what?"

"Called someone to come get me." Crystal rubbed her eyes with her knuckles. "Wow those lights are bright."

"I'm surprised you can see anything through those slits."

"My eyes are wide open," the stoned woman protested. "I can see everything."

"Uh huh," she said dubiously. "So were you at your friend's house all day getting stoned?"

"I went there after work."

"Work?"

"Oooh!" Crystal's face lit up and she squirmed in her seat. "I got a job today," she said excitedly.

"Really? Where?"

"Working for Michael. I hauled sheet rock all afternoon."

"You really took a job working for Michael?" Checking quickly to make sure she wasn't took close to the rear of her Jeep, Laura looked over at her companion. "Congratulations."

"It's only 'til my lip heals."

"It could be longer than that if you wanted, I'm sure. I thought Michael said there was enough work for a few months."

"Then what?" Crystal lifted her hand only to have it flop down onto her lap. "It doesn't matter."

The light from the street lamps pulsed through the windshield, giving Laura only passing glimpses of her roommate's face. "What doesn't matter?" "Everything." Crystal gave another limp wave of her hand. "Once the place is cleaned out he won't need me anymore and I'll be back there again." She shrugged her shoulders. "Might as well stay where I am."

You don't think there's anything better for you than stripping, do you? "But if you got some experience maybe Michael could help you find something else to do." Laura kept her attention divided between the road ahead of her and Crystal. "So what were you doing all the way out here besides getting stoned?"

"Hmm?" Crystal's eyes were closed, her lips turned in a lazy smile. "Oh, visiting someone."

"Someone you work with?"

The blonde snorted. "Hardly. Steph's just someone I knew from parties and stuff." Her hands groped her shirt pockets in search of her cigarettes. "Her husband is a real asshole."

"Was he there?"

"For a while before he got pissed and took off." The lighter slipped from her fingers onto her lap.

"Are you sure you can handle a cigarette? I don't want you dropping it on yourself or anything. Maybe you shouldn't smoke." "My car." Crystal lit her cigarette and stuffed the lighter in her pocket.

"At least open the window. I don't want your second hand smoke." Crystal did as she was asked and within seconds the smoke was drawn out into the night air. "Now," Laura continued, "So he became upset and left?"

"Yeah, he's an asshole."

"You said that before."

"She's an idiot."

You didn't say that before. "So why is she an idiot?"

"She is. She's just like my mother." Crystal took a hard drag on her cigarette. "Doesn't stand up for her kids, lets him treat her like shit. She's stupid." She flicked an ash out the open window. "Aw, ya know? She's so afraid of him that she lets him treat her like a dog. He drinks and screws around and when he feels like coming home he does and she doesn't do a damn thing about it." The car followed the Jeep onto the bypass, leaving the sodium lights of the city for the darkness of the highway. Crystal exhaled another stream of gray smoke. "Just always giving in to him," she said quietly. "Always letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted. Doesn't matter he beats his kids, doesn't matter he spent all the money each week, she didn't fucking care." The half finished cigarette went flying out the window. "She never cared," she whispered, staring through the glass at the darkness.

Laura quickly realized the subjects of the conversation had changed from Crystal's friends to her parents. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself unsure of what to say. Finally she said the only thing that came to mind. "I wish she had."

There was a long silence before Crystal spoke. "I wish she had too."

Without thought Laura reached over and rubbed her roommate's shoulder. "I know."

"She used to drink a lot, you know." Crystal continued to look out the window. "She'd get mad for no reason. All the time." Feeling the shrug, Laura removed her hand, letting it rest on the gearshift between the seats. "He'd rag on her in the morning before he'd go to work and she'd take it out on us when we got home from school." Crystal shook her head. "But we didn't do anything wrong." She let her head fall back against the headrest. "You ever get punished for something you didn't do?"

"A few times," Laura admitted.

"It sucks." Leaning forward, Crystal fumbled with the opening of the glove compartment.

"What are you looking for?"

"I just want one hit." The compartment open, she pulled out a film canister and a small blue metal pot pipe.

"Uh, no, not while I'm in the car. I think you've had enough anyway. You can barely keep your eyes open." Activity on the road ahead of her drew Laura's attention away from what was going on in the passenger seat. Jenny had apparently become annoyed with the car ahead of her and was now pushing the Jeep faster then Laura ever had. "Jen, what are you doing?" she said, pressing down on the gas pedal. An acrid smell filled the car. "Crystal!"

The pipe and canister filled with pot were thrown back into the glove compartment. "I said just one," the blonde said impishly. "That's it." Using her left hand to roll down the window, Laura steered with her right, slowing the Omni down and pulling over to the shoulder of the road.

"Wha

?"

Laura ignored her and shut the car off. She reached over with the keys and locked the glove compartment. "I said not with me in the car," she admonished. "You know how much trouble I would be in if a cop pulled us over and smelled that?" Forcing the key back into the ignition, Laura continued her rant. "If you want to ruin your life with drugs, that's your choice. I can't control what you do but you have no right to take a chance with mine. It's bad enough you bring it into the house." Turning the engine on, she glanced in the rear view mirror before pulling back out onto the highway. "Damn it, Crystal, don't you ever stop and think?" Not hearing a reply, she thought perhaps the stoned woman had fallen asleep. Just as well. I don't want to fight with her tonight, she thought to herself. Looking at the road, she noted the Jeep was nowhere in sight. You'd better not get a speeding ticket, Jen. Confident the smell of marijuana was gone, Laura rolled the window up.

"Sorry," Crystal said in a small voice. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why don't you just sit back and relax until we get home, okay?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad. Annoyed maybe, but not mad," Laura said, pressing up on the signal indicator when she saw the sign for the upcoming exit.

Crystal unbuckled her seat belt and was turning sideways in the seat when the Omni turned onto the exit ramp. Too stoned to control her balance, she pitched toward the left, her head bumping against Laura's shoulder. "Ow."

"What are you doing? Get your seat belt on." She reached over and rubbed her shoulder. "And what are you saying 'Ow' for? You've got a hard head there, Sheridan."

"Laura?"

The pot made the blonde's eyes nothing more than little slits and those little slits were having a hard time keeping focused. Laura waiting patiently for Crystal to continue but the stoned woman apparently forgot what she was going to say. "Yes?" Laura prompted.

"What?"

"You were going to ask me a question. What was the question?"

"What question?"

"Forget it, you're too wasted to know what you're saying." Reaching over, Laura grasped the seat belt. "This time leave it on, okay?" "Okay

Laura?"

"What?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Crystal, I'm not mad at you." Oh please don't start this again. "Look, let's just go home now. Jenny's going to wonder what happened to us." Laura started the car. "We can talk about it in the morning." She put the car in gear and edged the car onto the street. She drove along in silence for several blocks before Crystal spoke again.

"Promise you aren't mad at me?"

I'm going to be mad if you don't stop it. "No hon, I'm not mad at you." She reached over and squeezed Crystal's shoulder. "We're friends, right?" She had hoped her words would make the stoned woman smile but to Laura's dismay she saw tears. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Crystal shook her head vigorously and rubbed her face with her hands. "Nothing," she croaked, taking a haggard breath. "It's just " She shook her head again. "I dunno."

Laura knew she was holding back but let it pass for the moment, concentrating on guiding the unfamiliar car through the winding side streets and into the main entrance to their complex. As expected, her Jeep was parked in the appropriate space, several lights shining through the curtained windows of the townhouse. Can tell Jenny's here, she thought as she pulled the Omni into its parking space. Removing the keys from the ignition, she reached over and put her hand on Crystal's arm. "Wait, before we go in

I want to know what's got you so upset."

"I dunno." Crystal jerked the handle, forcing the door to open. "Laura, please," she said when the firm hand maintained its hold on her arm. "I can't."

Laura swore she heard a crack in her roommate's voice. Letting go, she watched Crystal step out of the car. The marijuana had done a good job of decimating the blonde's sense of balance, causing her to fall onto the pavement. She tried to get to her feet only to fall twice more before Laura got to her side. "Here, put your arm around my shoulders. I'll help you inside."

"No, just leave me. I'll make it in there eventually."

Laura grabbed Crystal's hand and put it where she wanted. "I don't think so, roomie. What would the neighbors think?" With a grunt she rose to her feet, pulling Crystal up with her. To her relief, Jenny must have heard the car pull up. "Want to give me a hand with her?" "Where did you go?" Jenny asked as she made her way down the walk to the parking area. "I looked in the rear view and you were gone." "I had to pull over a couple of times," Laura said. "Crystal, Jenny's here. We're going to take you inside now, okay?" She nodded at her ex-lover. "Grab the other side. She's too stoned to walk."

"How was the ride home?"

"Eventful. She wouldn't shut up. For someone who never says anything, she sure had enough to say tonight. Must have asked me fifty times if I was mad at her."

"You said you weren't," Crystal pouted, her eyes fixed on her feet in an attempt to move in them in the same direction without stepping on Laura or Jenny's toes. "You said so."

"Yes I did. I'm not mad with you." She looked over at Jenny. "See what I had to put up with?"

"Sounds like a handful."

"Just a bit. Watch it, Crystal. We're at the steps now."

"I can walk by myself," the blonde protested, weakly trying to pull her arms off the other women's shoulders.

"Just the same I think it's a goodi.e.for us to help you," Jenny said.

"Oh, hi Doc," Crystal practically hollered. "How the hell are you tonight?"

"Apparently not as well are you're doing. Laur, hold on to her while I get the door."

"She likes me," the stoned woman continued. "I wasn't really sure but yeah. Did you know that?"

"Know what?" Jenny asked, not following the rambling talk.

"Laura likes me," Crystal said proudly, swaying on her rubbery legs. "She told me we're friends."

"Yes I did, now let's get you inside, okay?" Laura asked, guiding her wobbly charge through the front door.

"Okay," Crystal agreed good-naturedly, bumping into the doorjamb, then into Jenny before finally getting finally stumbling through the threshold and into the living room.

Once inside, Crystal managed to stumble her way to the recliner. Laura hung the keys to the Omni on the appropriate hook, frowning when she saw her own keys lying on the counter. "Think we can get her upstairs?" she asked, picking up her keys and hanging them on the hook.

"I can make it myself," the groggy blonde said, pushing herself to her feet only to sit right back down. "Maybe not." Her hands fumbled at her shirt. "No smoking in the living room, remember?" Laura reminded her.

"Hey Doc, did I tell you I got the job with Michael?" Crystal stopped searching for her cigarettes and flung a leg over the arm of the recliner. "No you didn't tell me." Jenny said as she settled herself on the couch. "When do you start?"

"I did already. I worked this afternoon."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I went over and saw him after I left your office."

Laura's eyes widened. "Your office?"

"Um" Jenny looked from her ex-lover to Crystal and back again. "You have to ask her," she said.

"Crystal?"

"Doc said I could." She rubbed her face and yawned. "Oh man, I'm tired."

"Or something," Laura said. "Let's get you upstairs. Jen, you want to help?"

Together they helped Crystal upstairs. Once inside her room, the blonde clumsily broke free of the helping hands and flopped onto the bed. "Jen, go down and make some tea," Laura said. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Perhaps I should go home" Jenny began.

"Don't even think about it," Laura warned. "We need to talk." She waited until her ex-lover left the room before sitting down on the bed next to the sprawled out form. "You still awake?"

"Hm?" The soft pillow quickly drained any energy Crystal had left.

"You have to get your boots off. Do you want me to help?"

"Hm? Naw, s'okay." Crystal's eyes remained closed.

"I'll get them," Laura said, moving down and pulling one booted foot onto her lap. "You know I meant it when I said I wasn't mad at you," she said, tugging the brown lace free. "Even if I was, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." Using her fingers, she loosened the laces from the eyelets and hooks, allowing the boot to come free. "When I was about thirteen or so, Dad was stationed at Fort Bragg." She peeled the white sock off Crystal's foot. "We were there about a month or so when Captain Brewster was transferred there. He had a daughter my age. Let me have your other foot." Receiving no assistance, Laura reached over and pulled Crystal's other leg over. "Anyway," she continued. "Candice used to always have bruises on her arms and face. At first I believed her when she said it was from accidents on her bike." The other boot and sock removed, Laura found herself with Crystal's bare feet on her lap. Without thought she began massaging them. "After I figured out the truth, I couldn't stand seeing her father." Her grip increased as the old anger surfaced. "I hated him for what he did to her. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt someone else like that." Deciding Crystal had fallen asleep, Laura continued to let her hands gently run over the blonde's feet. "Why did you get upset tonight when I said we were friends?" Her left thumb moved back and forth in a lazy arc over Crystal's arch. "Sure you can be a pain in the ass sometimes and that clear shower curtain is driving me nuts but still" Realizing what her hands were doing, Laura gently placed Crystal's feet on the bed and stood up. "I don't think we need little bits of tobacco between the sheets," she said, reaching over and pulling the half empty pack out of the shirt pocket. Reaching for the coverlet, she pulled it up over the sleeping woman. As she tucked it around Crystal's shoulders, she leaned in close and whispered "I wish you didn't abuse yourself like this. There's a beautiful woman hidden behind the tough attitude and the drugs, I know there is." Laura stood up and reached for the lamp. "Sweet dreams."