Honor and Betray

Chapter Nine

I awoke to Emma groaning in pain. “Are you okay?” I asked as I ran the pads of my fingers along her cheek.

“I’ve been better.” My heart sank at her words. “But it was worth it, though.”

I smiled with relief, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her mouth to mine.

“Mmmm…” She moaned against my lips, and my body immediately reacted, growing stiff against her. I pulled back, pressing my lips to her forehead before forcing myself to get out of bed.

“Where are you going?” She asked as she propped herself on her elbow and stared up at me. I grabbed the bottle of aspirin and gave her two more pills to take with the water from last night. She took them without protest.

“Come on.” I held out my hand to her as I tipped my head toward the door. She furrowed her brow and handed me her glass of water.

“Where are we going?” She asked as she sat up. I took her hand and pulled her to her feet, her naked body flush against mine.

“Let’s go get cleaned up before we get dirty again.” I winked as I pulled her behind me to the bathroom. I turned on the water and waited for it to get slightly warmer than room temperature before turning back to Emma.

“You are so beautiful.” I couldn’t resist touching her delicate face. She shied away from my words, looking down at the floor between us. I tipped her chin up so she would look me in the eye. “You really are.”

She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously as her eyes scanned my face for any trace of deception. I rubbed over her silky strands. “You really don’t know, do you?” I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “My beautiful, broken girl.” I took her hand and turned her toward the tub. She dipped her toe in, testing the temperature. “Good?” I asked.

“Perfect.” She smiled as she slid down into the water. I turned off the faucet and lowered my body in behind hers. She relaxed her body against mine, her arms resting on my knees as I grabbed the liquid soap and poured it into my hands. I rubbed my slick fingers over her breasts, but I couldn’t get my mind off the sadness that was still waiting outside of my door. She noticed my hesitation.

“What?”

I absentmindedly began to rub my palm over the peak of her breast. “We need to start thinking about funeral arraignments.” I hated having to bring her down. It broke my heart to know that my words caused her sadness. She nodded, but did not reply, and I continued to hold her tight against me and wash away her pain. It was one of the few moments that touching her wasn’t about giving me pleasure. Slowly, I was beginning to learn that loving her wasn’t about how she made me feel, but how I could make her life a little bit easier. A lesson I wished I had learned weeks ago.

When her body was sufficiently clean, she turned around to return the favor. Her soapy hands slid over my chest and down the ridges of my abdomen. My body reacted like it always did under her touch, and I grew hard. I grabbed her wrist, not sure if I would be able to control myself once her fingers brushed against my cock. Her stare was unwavering, and I let her slide from my grip. She wrapped her fingers around my length. I let my eyes close and enjoyed the touch of her for a moment before forcing her to stop. I didn’t want her worrying about satisfying me when I was the cause of all of her pain.

“That is enough of that.” I gave her a small smile before slipping out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around my hips and reached out to take her hand and pull her from the chilly water. She shivered as I grabbed a towel and draped it around her body.

“Thank you,” she whispered as I turned to walk out of the bathroom. I nodded. “I mean it. For everything.”

I stopped in my path, unable to resist the pull of my heart to her. I spun around, lifting her in my arms to kiss her. “I love you, Emma. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” They were the most honest words I had ever spoken. I would walk away from Emma if I needed to, but I also knew I wouldn’t survive the loss of her.

She slipped her fingers into my hair and pressed her lips softly against mine. I lowered her back down and made my way into the kitchen. My mind was only on her and making all of this right. I grabbed the phone and held it out to her.

“You need to call the police and see if her body is able to be released.” Her smile faltered, and I hated myself for forcing her to do something that would cause her more pain. “Emma, you need to do this. I would do it for you if I could. I would take all the pain from you if it were possible.” She nodded, taking the phone from my hand and grabbing the detective’s card from her purse.

I busied myself making something to eat as she spoke quietly on the phone. I cooked up some grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I figured some comfort food might make her feel a little more at ease about the situation. Honestly, I had no idea what would help her. I was the last person to give advice to someone with a broken heart. Until I had met Emma, I wasn’t sure I had one at all.

She hung up the phone with an audible sigh and slid into her seat at the counter. I slid a bowl of soup in front of her and a plate with her sandwich.

“What did they say?” I asked as she looked over her meal, tears clouding her eyes.

“Thanks,” she mumbled quietly.

“What did they say?”

“They said her death was…insulin overdose.” She tore off a corner of her sandwich and dipped it into the creamy liquid.

Whomever Stephen had hired knew what he was doing. It was a dark secret of the fetish world. A little insulin play could quickly turn into a murder. I never personally understood the urge to render a partner catatonic. I preferred a willing participant or even a little struggle.

“That’s a good thing, right? You don’t have to worry about someone coming back to hurt you.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. What if she didn’t want to stay with me anymore because she was safe? I took a large bite from my sandwich as I thought over how I would keep her with me now.

“I guess. I never realized being diabetic was that serious. I just don’t believe she is gone.” I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew I should say something to comfort her, but I was at a loss. “They said I could make arrangements”

I finished my meal and began to make calls to arrange the funeral.