Inflame

Chapter 27

Lucy

I’M SURPRISED when I come home to find the house dark after an exhausting, albeit fun day of wedding shopping with Charlie. I knew Kale was watching Lily today, and I was hopeful she’d still be around when I got home. Glancing at the clock, I realize it’s dinnertime and wonder if they went out to grab something.

As I make my way back to the bedroom, more than ready to change into my stretchy yoga pants, I check my phone and see that I don’t have any messages from him. I shrug it off and enter the bedroom, stopping in my tracks. Next to my side of the bed is the most beautiful white bassinet. As I move closer, I smile when I see a bright green fleece blanket folded up inside. A small stuffed animal rests where the baby will go, and I pick it up to study the Winnie the Pooh, which clearly isn’t new. I guess it’s from Lily, and I grin as I remember her excitement when she found out she was getting a ‘cousin’, even if she did try to play it off like she wanted it to be a girl.

Taking advantage of the quiet, I quickly change my clothes and then prop myself up on the bed to get some grading done. I’m nearly seven months along now and I can rest my papers on my belly for easy access. Even though it’s getting harder to shave my legs, the shelf it creates is actually quite useful. I’m knee-deep in spelling tests when my phone goes off, the special ringtone for Kale playing.

“Hey, baby. Are you out with your other girlfriend?” I tease playfully, but my mood drops when I hear him inhale sharply on the other end of the phone. “Kale? Everything okay?”

“No,” is all I get, and I let the stack of paper slide off my belly as I quickly rise from the bed.

“What? What’s going on? Where are you?” I ask as I start pacing the room.

“The hospital.”

My heart starts racing as every horrible thought runs through my head, but then I try to calm down, knowing that if he’s talking to me, then he’s okay.

“Kale, tell me what’s going on. Please.”

“It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying enough attention, and I didn’t get there in time. Once again, I failed in protecting what’s mine because I was too far away.”

His cryptic answers aren’t making any sense. I slide into my flats and grab my purse and keys, ready to head to the hospital even if he isn’t telling me what happened.

“Kale. Tell me exactly where you are.”

He rattles off the name of the nearest hospital, and I pull out of the drive, desperate to get to him. He’s silent on the other end of the line, and all I can hear is his breathing.

“Baby, are you hurt?”

I hear him sigh deeply, and I wish he’d just answer me.

“No, Lucy. Not me. Lily.”

RACING THROUGH the doors of the emergency room, I scan the room until my eyes rest on Kale. He’s hunched over, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. I cross the room and crouch down in front of him, something that’s not an easy task with my basketball-sized belly. My fingers graze his chin, and I lift slightly so he’ll look at me. His eyes are red-rimmed and fully of worry, but I see the relief in them when it registers that I’m here. He grabs my hands and pulls me up, settling me in his lap sideways as he wraps an arm around my waist, his hands resting on my stomach. I stroke his hair, hoping I can be some sort of comfort for him.

“Kale, can you tell me what happened?” I ask quietly, and he lifts his head up to look at me.

“I threw the ball too far and she ran after it. Right out into the road without even looking. God, Lucy, she flew so high in the air, and I couldn’t move as I watched it all happen right in front of me.” He closes his eyes, shaking his head as if he’s trying to rid himself of the memory.

“I’m sure it was just an accident. How is she? Have you seen her?”

He shakes his head, his shoulders slumping. “Xavier’s back there with her. The doctor says she’s going to be okay, but until I see her, I just don’t know if I can believe it. I can’t get the image of her lying there on the ground, unconscious, and bleeding out of my mind. Hell, her fucking blood’s on my shirt!”

I pull back to look at him and see the red flecks staining his shirt. It makes my insides roil, and I wrap my arms around him.

“If they say she’s going to be fine, then trust in that, okay? We’ll see her soon enough.”

As if on cue, I see Xavier approach, and I’m quick to get out of Kale’s lap. Kale stands and looks at him as he waits for the news.

Xavier gives us a small smile. “She’s all right, man. Says her head hurts and it hurts to laugh, but other than that, she’s gonna be fine.”

Kale lets out a slow, deep breath as he lets Xavier’s words sink in. “Can I see her?” he asks, and Xavier nods, motioning for us to follow him. I take Kale’s hand in my mine, squeezing gently for reassurance.

We follow him down a long hallway and into a small room. I try not to let out a gasp when I catch the sight of Lily. She’s propped up in a hospital bed with her head wrapped in several inches of white bandage. Her left wrist is in a brace, and I watch as she grimaces when she tries to readjust. Xavier’s by her side in a flash.

“Your ribs are going to hurt when you twist, sweetheart,” he tells her, and she frowns. “Look. You have a couple of visitors.”

She turns her head slowly, and she smiles when she sees us. Kale’s frozen in the door, staring at her. I give him a slight push and he moves deeper into the room.

“Hey, Lil,” he croaks out. “How ya feeling?”

Xavier pulls up a chair for Kale, and he sits next to her and grabs her hand. Leaning back against the wall, I watch them but hang back, knowing that Kale needs to be reassured that Lily is truly okay.

“My head hurts. So do my sides when I laugh or cough.” She wrinkles her nose and gives Kale a serious look. “But do you wanna know the worst part?”

He swallows hard, but he nods, allowing her to continue.

“The doctor said I had to get stitches for a big cut on my head, and to get to it they had to shave my hair! I’m going to have a bald spot!”

Xavier chuckles and shakes his head. “Lily, baby, the doctor said the rest of your hair will cover that spot. No one will even be able to tell.”

She glares at him then turns back to Kale. “Still. Can you believe it?”

“At least it was just a small part. I remember when your dad and I were in boot camp. I had scruffy hair all the way down to my chin. In the first week, they took a razor to my head and shaved it down to the skin. I was bald all over.”

Her widen as they take in Kale’s hair, which is still pretty short but definitely not shaved down to the skin. “No way! I can’t imagine you without hair. You’d look pretty silly.”

He grins at her, and I see him visibly relax as they start a back and forth banter. Xavier catches my eye and gestures to the hallway, and I nod. He leans over the bed and gives Lily a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to head down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. Want anything?”

Lily shakes her head and dismisses him as she goes back to chatting with Kale.

I follow Xavier out into the hall, and we walk in silence as we make our way to the cafeteria. I sit at a nearby table as he gets in line. When he sets a hot tea in front of me, I give him an appreciative smile. Scooting back the chair, he sits across from me.

“When I got the call from Kale about Lily, I felt my whole world crash around me. Just knowing she’d been hit and was lying in the hospital unconscious was enough to set me over the edge, and I probably broke at least ten traffic laws as I was racing to get here. It wasn’t until the doctor told me she was going to be okay that I was able to relax. And then once I saw her with my own eyes, smiling and laughing like nothing had happened, all my fear went away.”

Leaning across the table, I place my hand on his arm. “I can’t imagine what that was like, Xavier. I’m just so glad she’s okay.”

He nods, taking a sip of his hot coffee, and leans back in his chair. “Me too. Here’s the thing. I’ve known Kale for over ten years, ever since we bonded in boot camp. I don’t know what all he’s told you about everything that happened back then…” He pauses, and I shake my head.

“He’s never really talked about it. All I know is he’s Lily’s godfather, and he loves her like she’s his own. Honestly, it’s part of what drew me to him in the first place,” I admit.

He smiles and shakes his head. “Kale keeps a lot of things to himself,” he says, surprising me. The Kale I know seems like an open book, but then again, I know I have things in my past he doesn’t know about. I keep my mouth shut as he continues. “When Lily was just a couple of months old, Angela, her mom, decided Army life and motherhood weren’t for her. Long story short, here I was, a twenty-one-year-old kid with a newborn baby girl and an Army obligation. Kale didn’t hesitate to move in with me to help take care of her. He didn’t bat at an eye at the thought of changing diapers, midnight feedings, or making bottles. He jumped right on in like he was a part of the family. And that’s what he became.”

“I had no idea,” I whisper, and I honestly didn’t. I knew her mom wasn’t in the picture, but I didn’t have a clue that Kale had played such a huge part in her upbringing.

“Like I said, Kale keeps certain things close to his chest. It’s not my place to talk about it, but Kale was going through his own shit at the time, and as much as Lily and I needed him, he needed us, too. So whenever Kale claims that he loves Lily like she’s his own, he means it with his whole heart, and he’s earned that right. I’m telling you all this because I know him, and I know what he’s going to do. I saw it on his face the minute he walked into that hospital room and saw her all bandaged up. He’s going to blame himself, and no matter how many times I tell him I don’t blame him, he won’t listen. No matter how many times you try to reassure him, he still won’t listen. Hell, Lily could tell him herself that it was her fault, not his, but it won’t register for him.”

I nod, knowing he’s probably right.

He places his elbows on the table and gazes at me. “So just do me a favor. Be patient with him. He might be a moody, broody mess for a while, but that’s just how he’ll get over it as he works it out himself. My guess is he’s going to get a little overbearing, probably a lot overprotective over the next couple of months, and you’re probably going to have to just bear with him. I know how much he loves Lily, and she’s not even his own flesh and blood. That little guy?” he says, pausing as he gestures to my stomach. “Kale’s been waitin’ on him for a long damn time, and he’s going to love that kid with every fiber of his being. Hell, he probably already does, and this little scare with Lily is going to have his mind running a thousand miles a minute, picturing every possible scenario where something could go wrong.”

There are so many things in Xavier’s little speech that have questions running through my mind, but I know if I start asking them that he won’t give me the answers I’m looking for. It dawns on me that, even though I feel like I know Kale better than anyone, there’s a lot about his past that I apparently don’t know, just as he doesn’t know about my real dad or Steve adopting me.

When he tried to ask about it at Thanksgiving, I brushed him off and was able to change the subject. I don’t really think it’s a huge deal, but part of me didn’t want to admit to him that I hadn’t been wanted as a kid. And at the time, it was the reason for my hesitation at becoming serious with him, and I also didn’t want him to think I was comparing him to my dad just like Mom had done. The night of the ultrasound replays in my mind, and I eye Xavier, remembering that he was out with Kale that night.

“That night you guys went out, the night we had our first ultrasound… When I got home, Kale was a drunken mess, and he was practically passed out. He kept telling me never to leave him, and I have no idea where it came from. I’ve seen Kale intoxicated before, but never like that. He seemed…almost scared, like he really, truly believed I was going to leave him. What happened that night?”

Xavier lets out a deep breath and sits back in his chair as he fingers the cardboard sleeve on his coffee cup. “He was on edge that night, Lucy, and shaken from the reality of it all. It actually started to sink in that he’s going to be a dad, and as happy as he is, I’m pretty sure he was scared as hell. But he has his reasons for that, and it’s something you need to ask him about. As much as I want to, I can’t answer those questions for you. Just know, it has nothing to do with you. He loves you. Trust me. I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you—like you’re a cherished treasure he still can’t believe he found.”

Bringing my cup to my lips, I try to mask a smile. “I feel the same way, you know? When Kale and I originally met, thanks to Lily, I never would’ve imagined we’d be here, but now that we are, I can’t imagine anything different. Don’t worry about him, Xavier. I’ll try not to let him get lost in his guilt. And if he’s overbearing, I’ll deal with it. If that’s part of how he needs to cope, I’ll let him—within reason, of course. He once tried to force me to take a bath instead of a shower because he was afraid I’d fall, but what he didn’t realize is I could barely get out of the tub once I was done.”

Xavier laughs, then slides his chair back and stands up, signaling the end of the conversation. “You’re good for him, you know that?”

Smiling up at him, I answer as honestly as I can. “He’s the best for me.”

He just nods, and as we walk back to the room, I replay the conversation in my mind. I’m sure Xavier’s just trying to look out for his friend, and I start to wonder just what all they’ve been through together. What happened to Kale that made him seek out a family in Xavier and Lily? My curiosity is running rampant, and as I try and put the puzzle pieces together, my mind draws a blank. All I know is that something happened a long time ago with Kale, and he’s never shared.

As much as I want to know all the answers, when I walk into the hospital room and see him holding Lily’s hand, his thumb rubbing over her knuckles, I know I’m going to have to wait. Even though Lily’s okay, I can feel the guilt radiating off of him, and it’s going to be hard as hell to help him push past it. For now, that’s where my focus has to be, and I silently whisper a prayer of hope that, whenever I do finally learn all the answers to my questions, it’s not too much for me to bear.