Killing Ways

20

Ren’s cell phone rang as she was walking down the hallway to the bullpen. It was Matt, her wonderful, witty, intuitive, psychologically astute older-by-a-year brother.

Man Most Likely To Be Avoided Right Now.

Her finger hovered over the red button.

Don’t be a bitch.

She picked up.

‘Hey, sister, go, sister...’

‘Matthew!’ said Ren. ‘How are you?’

‘Good. How are you, mystery lady? I left you many, many messages.’

‘I know, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy — the raping and murdering going on in this city.’

‘Are you serving and protecting the citizens?’

‘Yes, I am. How’s Lauren, how’s Ethan?’

‘They’re all good, missing you. Last I heard, you were in a bar downing shots with a bachelor party. And before that, in a bar—’

‘Yes, I get it. I’ve been having fun.’ Which seems slightly more noticeable to you now that you’re a married, settled father-of-one.

‘Mom says you haven’t called her in a while.’

‘Mom is correct.’

‘Big brother Jay says the same.’

‘Ah, but what does Jesus say?’

‘OK,’ said Matt. ‘Can you hear me, Ren? I’m shuffling along here, I’m dodging branches and leaves, OK. I’m here. I’m out on a limb...’

Ren stopped dead.

Oh, fuck. This is about—

‘Here goes,’ said Matt. ‘Are you taking your meds?’ He said it in one go, comedy-fast for effect.

‘Yes,’ said Ren. God, this business of people giving a shit what I do...

‘Can you promise me that?’ said Matt.

She nodded. ‘I can promise you that.’ But I won’t. Woo-hoo! Loophole! I have the capacity to promise you that.

‘OK,’ said Matt. ‘Just looking out for you. Making sure you’re feeling the rails underfoot.’

‘Don’t worry. I’m on the rails.’ But who says I need meds to be on the rails? Not that I would dream of saying that out loud. Especially not to someone who has no clue. ‘Matt,’ she said. ‘Seriously. How many people do you know who are case agent on a serial killer investigation?’

Boom!

Back in the bullpen, Ren sat at her desk and turned her attention to the case.

What am I missing in all this?

Where is the chink?

‘Did you ever see the movie The Greatest Show on Earth?’ said Ren, looking up at Everett. ‘Starring the dashing Cornel Wilde.’

‘No,’ said Everett.

‘I quote the opening in deep tones: “A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds: that is the circus — and this is the story of the biggest of the Big Tops — and of the men and women who fight to make it — The Greatest Show on Earth!”’

‘Bravo! Bravo!’ said Everett, clapping high, to the right, to the left.

‘“Where Death is constantly watching for one frayed rope!”’ said Ren. ‘“One weak link! Or one trace of fear!”’ She leaned back. ‘It freaked me the fuck out. The guy, this dashing trapeze artist, attempts a double somersault without the net. You’re watching him swing back and forth, it’s actually only a short scene, but the tension! And he fucking falls! I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe they let him fall. And I was so furious that he was jumping without a net in the first place. Why, oh, why would you jump without a net? Whyyy? God damn.’

‘Seriously — don’t watch that again,’ said Everett. ‘Was there a point to that story?’

‘Well, all I’m looking for in this case is one frayed rope,’ said Ren. ‘One weak link!’

‘Just don’t ever jump without a net,’ said Everett.

Wise words...

And we know how I feel about them.

‘God,’ said Ren. ‘I just thought of Carrie Longman’s wrists and the rope. In the literal sense, I don’t want to find any more of that.’

Janine walked into the bullpen.

‘Are you around for drinks later?’ said Ren.

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Janine. ‘I’ve got some things to do in the house.’

‘Aw, man,’ said Ren. ‘Put them off! Do them another night. Come out.’

‘I can’t,’ said Janine. ‘I have to clean out my kitchen cabinets before I lose my mind.’

‘Oh my God — your kitchen is pristine,’ said Ren. ‘Are you nuts?’

‘I will be if I don’t do this,’ said Janine. ‘Anyway, I don’t think I can keep up with you.’

‘What?’ said Ren.

‘Honestly... your stamina,’ said Janine.

Don’t know how to take that. It doesn’t sound good.

‘You go out, you have fun,’ said Janine. ‘Don’t think about me cleaning out cabinets.’

Hmmm.

I hope she’s not pissed at me.

Ren went into the conference room where therewere folders of information on each case. She called one of the admin staff in and told her she wanted everything photocopied, and stacked in a corner with her name on it.

That evening, Robbie helped Ren to fill the back seat of the Jeep with them. She unloaded them all in three trips to her apartment.

Apartment living... grrr! It’s good for exercise. Stay positive.

She picked up her cell phone to text Everett to come out for drinks. She paused.

No. I’ll surprise Janine, help her with her cabinets instead. I’m not great with cabinets, but... we can make it fun. Is that ever possible with housework?

Ren drove the thirty minutes to Golden, listening to a radio station she felt twenty years too old to be loving, that was playing songs she felt twenty years too old to know the lyrics to. When she got to Janine’s, she bounced up the steps to her front door and rang the doorbell.

Janine opened. ‘Oh... hey!’ She looked a little startled. ‘Uh... come in!’

Shit. She has a man in here. Robbie?! ‘Um... I thought I’d help you with the cabinets,’ said Ren. ‘Use my stamina for a higher purpose!’

‘I abandoned the housework,’ said Janine.

‘Oh,’ said Ren.

Janine nodded. ‘I couldn’t face them in the end.’ She paused. ‘And... a friend called over...’

A friend?! But who? ‘Do you have a man stashed in there?’

‘No!’ said Janine. ‘It’s Terri.’

Who the heck?

Janine looked embarrassed. ‘Just a friend. You haven’t met her yet.’

Or heard you mention her even once.

‘Do you want to come in and meet her?’ said Janine.

Once more with feeling. You look uncomfortable, I feel uncomfortable. ‘No, thanks — I will leave you to it,’ said Ren. ‘I should have texted.’

‘Oh my God — you don’t need to text, don’t be ridiculous,’ said Janine. ‘Come in.’

‘It’s OK, honestly,’ said Ren. I feel like I’ve caught you cheating. Weirdness. ‘I wanted to stop by and visit Cliff and Brenda anyway while I was here. Don’t worry! I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Ren drove a little down the road and parked.

Well, that was all rather strange.

She called Cliff.

‘Cliff!’ said Ren. ‘How are you?’

‘Getting by, little lady, getting by. Missing you.’

‘You have no idea how much I miss you. Right now is the perfect time to hear your voice. How’s Brenda doing? I’m in Golden. I was going to stop by.’

Silence. ‘Today’s not a great day.’

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ I hate this. I don’t know what I can possibly say.

‘She’s... she looks so different, Ren. She... she even smells different. The chemo...’ He took in a breath. ‘It’s a cruel disease. It’s cruel and the treatment is cruel, and... everything’s changed. It’s... almost like she’s already gone. And I hate myself for saying that. I don’t want her to be gone, but it’s like...’

‘She’s right there,’ said Ren. ‘Her heart is right there with you, Cliff. It always will be. You love each other too much.’

‘We’re all just... running on empty.’

‘You poor things,’ said Ren. ‘Is there anything I can do?’

‘Listen to my bullshit,’ said Cliff.

‘I’m here for all forms of bullshit,’ said Ren. ‘And if you want to stop by for coffee if you’re in the city, or come especially, or go for a drink...’

‘There’s only so much danger a man can put himself in...’

They laughed together, and ended the call that way. Then Ren cried.

My wonderful friends. I don’t want any of you to suffer.

Ren went back to the apartment and started to unpack the boxes from the office.

How many more rainforests can I bring into my apartment?

I miss my friends.

There was a knock on the door.

Ren looked through the peephole, saw her neighbor, Lorrie, holding a cardboard box with a bow wrapped around it.

Shit.

Ren glanced back at the living room and her wall of photos and arrows and Post-Its.

You can’t not answer the door. She heard your footsteps. You can’t be that asshole neighbor.

Ren opened the door.

‘Hey, Ren,’ said Lorrie. ‘Consider this my delayed official welcome to the building.’

Aw! ‘Thank you so much!’

Come view my Wall of Horrors.

Lorrie handed her the box. ‘It’s a giant cinnamon bun.’

You are shitting me. ‘This is my favorite cake on earth!’

‘I make them myself,’ said Lorrie. ‘Risky choice of gift, I know. But chocolate cake, I felt, was too predictable.’

‘Oh my God — what a perfect risk to have taken,’ said Ren.

Lorrie beamed. ‘Well, that’s great to hear!’

And now you’re thinking, ‘Why aren’t you inviting me in?’

‘Lorrie, I would love to invite you in right now,’ said Ren. ‘And it feels completely weird taking this gift without inviting you in, but I’ve got a whole work thing going on back there that I need to finish, it’s all over the place and—’

‘Don’t worry!’ said Lorrie. ‘That’s perfectly fine, but if you see a notice by the mailboxes about how rude the new neighbor is...’

Ren laughed. ‘Thanks for understanding. Let me take your number and we can arrange some night, maybe you could come over for a glass of wine or several bottles...’

‘I’m an alcoholic,’ said Lorrie, deadly serious.

‘Oh, I—’

‘Sooo, bring it on!’

I like you, enabler neighbor. One more person to party with.