Killing Ways

46

Ren called Gary on the drive to the airport and filled him in.

‘So,’ said Ren, ‘depending on the relationship — if there is any — between Duke Rawlins and Chloe Farraday, he could have access to an apartment in Denver owned by a man called Benny Jakes. Everett is checking that out.’

When Ren and Joe arrived at Dallas airport, they found out their flight was delayed. They sat in the airport lounge and ordered a round, and then another.

After another round, Joe was getting a little drunker than Ren.

You’re on something else. Painkillers. Something.

Meds, meds, everywhere.

‘I won’t lie,’ said Joe, leaning forward, ‘but if I lay eyes on Duke Rawlins, I will kill him.’

Finally, he admits it. ‘You won’t,’ said Ren.

Joe raised his eyebrows.

‘You’ve a six-year-old daughter,’ said Ren. ‘You won’t.’

Joe looked away, pressed his fingers into his jaw, like a doctor checking for pain.

‘You know that if you kill him, you lose,’ said Ren. ‘I know you know that. However, you will win if he is jailed.’ She paused. ‘And ass-raped on a loop.’

Joe was momentarily quiet, then burst out laughing. ‘I thought you were going to say something honorable. But “ass-raped on a loop”...’ He nodded. ‘I can get on board with that.’

Ren took her chance. ‘Joe... could you please take Grace away from Denver, totally away, somewhere no one knows about, only you and Camille? I... didn’t tell Gary, but I think Duke has targeted me. Someone close to me was in an accident and I think I was the intended target. Then how close he got to Karen Dettling. For you, I just don’t think it’s a risk worth taking.’

He didn’t reply.

As they got steadily drunker, he got more maudlin.

‘Anna dying in childbirth,’ said Joe, ‘which I didn’t think was even possible these days... it was just so... shocking. Duke Rawlins had physically damaged her so badly, her body couldn’t hold up... she had wounds to the kidney, the bowel. Scar tissue. I can’t tell you the hell I would like to see that man go to. Grace saved my life. She saved my life. I was right there when she was born. As soon as I held her in my arms, I fell in love with the most perfect little human being I had ever seen.’

As your wife lay dying... Jesus Christ.

Joe laughed. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, but he’s a young man now, he doesn’t need me, and I screwed him up along the way. He’s been through a lot. Everyone who comes near me goes through a lot.’

‘You’re carrying around way too much guilt,’ said Ren. Though I would be no different.

‘It’s like on that one day, ten years ago, boom, shots fired, Donald Riggs goes down and the course of my entire life was changed,’ said Joe. He stared into her eyes. She could feel her heart rate accelerate.

Uh-oh.

‘I’ve been watching you,’ said Joe.

Uh-oh.

‘I don’t want you to be me.’

Phew. I won’t be. Not a chance.

‘You’re thinking you won’t be,’ said Joe. ‘I used to think the same when I looked around at the guys at work. I wouldn’t be the divorced one, the drinking one, the lonely one, the bitter one, the cheating one, the damaged one. So... I didn’t cheat, I didn’t divorce. Where does that leave me? One of the lucky ones?’ He paused. ‘Do you have a good life?’

Um... ‘Yes.’

‘Do you have a good man in your life?’ said Joe.

Pause. ‘Yes.’ Why the pause?

‘Treasure it,’ said Joe. ‘Look after yourselves. It might not always be there.’ He stood up. ‘That’s our flight.’

Ren watched him leave the bar.

Oh, God, I do not want to be you.

Joe slept through the entire flight. By the time they reached Denver, Ren wrote a text to Ben: This NYPD guy has sucked the lifeblood out of me.

She re-read it. That’s pretty shitty. She deleted it. She sent a new one: I love you. We are lucky. XX

Now, let’s not fuck it up.

And when I say ‘us’, I mean me.

Ben replied with a photo.

It was him sitting on her sofa with a beer. And: Surprise!

No waaay!

She replied: Can’t make you out. Too many clothes in way.