Liar Liar

111

All was quiet in Mandy Blayne’s house, except for the TV news, which played quietly in the living room. Naomie Jackson’s face stared out from the screen, but looked on to an empty room. Mandy Blayne had briefly vacated the sofa to make herself a much needed cup of tea.

As she stared out of the window into the scrubby garden, Mandy could feel her mood edging ever lower. She had made the call to the doctor’s surgery and booked an appointment for next week, but even now she wondered if she would actually go. She had to get rid of this baby, obviously. What would she do with it? How would she support it? And yet suddenly the thought of disposing of it so casually filled her with sadness and doubt. What if this was her only chance of having a baby? What if she never found someone to be with and ended up alone? She didn’t want either outcome and the choice made her miserable. Why did her life always seem to end up in no-win situations?

She poured the boiling water into the cup and grabbed the milk from the fridge. She had bought value teabags to save a few pennies, but it had been a mistake. They were weak and the resulting tea was bland and milky. Another small disappointment to add to her larger reversals. Odd to think though that there was a small thing inside her that would feed off the food and drink she took in tonight. Strange to imagine that it was already dependent on her. It was getting dark outside now, but she could still make out the small strip of grass, bordered by neat beds, and for a moment had a vision of a small child playing outside. Hands covered in sand, face sticky with dirt, a broad smile on its face. Like she had been, when she was a child. An outdoors kid never happier than when dirty and pleasantly exhausted. Mandy found herself smiling at the thought. It would be crazy to keep the baby, wouldn’t it?

Cradling her cup of tea, Mandy walked through the hall and into the lounge. Picking up the remote, she flicked the TV off and went upstairs. She couldn’t be bothered to watch the news – she just wanted to relax in a bath and switch off for a while. She would read a book, disengage her brain, and try and con herself into feeling tired. Pretend that this was just another cosy Friday night in. But, for all her efforts, Mandy couldn’t rid of herself of the feeling that – however hard she tried to distract herself – she was in store for a sleepless night.