Myth-Fortunes

Chapter 15

I was pulled out of my reverie. Guido and Nunzio stood flanking me. At my nod, they sat down on the bench on either side of me. I took a quick look at the others. They were still debating appropriate behavior on dates. "What's up, fellows?" I asked.

"You get any more insight into that other matter which we was discussin' the last time we met?" Guido asked, tilting his head toward Aahz.

I shook my head. "Nothing concrete. Whatever's bothering him isn't his stomach, and he doesn't show any signs of weakness. He must have hiked up and down both pyramids five or six times each today, not to mention taking a swim through a floating office building."

"He doesn't seem under the weather," Nunzio agreed. "In fact, he looks to be in robust health."

"Miss Bunny did a little checking around with Bytina," Guido whispered, keeping his lips rigid. "She inquired of Dr. Webb, but he had not had any questions from anyone resemblin' Aahz who might have been usin' an alias."

I nodded. Dr. Webb was an M.D. from Octaroo who dispensed general medical information for free. Aahz wouldn't pay for advice if he could help it.

"Perhaps it wasn't his health he's worried about," I said. "Maybe a prophet predicted doom for him. Maybe a fatal accident or something like that? We've had a lot of mishaps on the site."

"You go on keepin' an eye on him," Guido advised. "We will keep our ears to the ground and other places. While Aahz may not be my favorite person in the world as he is to you, he is still a partner and a trusted accomplice. I will help to protect him if it is in my power to do so."

"Agreed," Nunzio said.

"Hey, what are all you lovely ladies talking about?" Aahz asked, strutting back to the table. Instead of sitting down at our table, he scooted in next to Felina.

"Oh, the differences between men and women," she said.

"So, what are the differences?" Aahz asked. "Anything special I should know about?"

"If you don't know by your age, you are never going to know!" the stout woman shouted. The others in the bar laughed.

"I'm always willing to take instruction from a smart lady like this one," Aahz said, smirking. "What are you drinking?"

"Rabbit tail," Felina said. It was a mildly intoxicating cocktail. It had a chocolate flavor, which I liked, but the kick at the end always came as a surprise.

"You know what they say about rabbits," Aahz said, after signaling the barmaid for the order.

"No," Felina said, with a smile. "What?"

Aahz leaned over and whispered into her pointed ear. She let out a peal of laughter and pushed him playfully with one hand. Aahz paid for their drinks and let his arm drift around her shoulders. She didn't seem to mind.

"I'd swear that there's nothing wrong with him," I said, watching carefully without, I hoped, making it too obvious.

"But you gotta admit," Guido said, "he's not actin' normal for his usual Pervish self. I never heard him give credit like that without he had been pushed from behind."

"I concur, cousin," Nunzio agreed, taking a swig of beer.

"Get your hand off our little sister!"

I looked around. Before I could rise, Guido and Nunzio were out of their seats with their hands stuck into the folds of their natty jackets. Aahz was also on his feet, facing eight Deveel males. The family resemblance among them was very strong, so I guessed they were brothers. Brothers, I realized with a gulp, to the lady who had until that moment, been sitting in the shelter of Aahz's arm.

"Now, gentlemen," Aahz said, with his most ingratiating smile. "I was just keeping her company until you got here."

"Keeping her company! I saw you whispering in her ear!" said a middle-sized brother with goggly eyes.

"What was he talking to you about?" asked the meanest looking Deveel.

"Nothing. He asked me if I knew what they said about rabbits," Felina said, tossing her head.

"He asked what?" The biggest brother stepped up and grabbed Aahz by the front of his shirt.

"Now, fellows, don't make something out of nothing," I said. "Come and have a drink with us."

"You think we're going to sit down with a Pervert who is whispering dirty secrets to our sister?" demanded yet another brother.

"He don't mean nothin' by it," Guido said. "How about you gentlemen just takin' it down a couple of notches? There's other people tryin' to enjoy themselves. Youse could have a quiet evenin', too. We'll let you alone if you let us alone."

The second-biggest brother came to stick a forefinger in Guido's face. "Are you threatening us, Klahd?"

Guido took his hand and twisted it downward until the thumb was facing up at an unnatural angle.

"Threats are for people who can't back it up, Deveel. I am just offerin' you some friendly advice. If youse wants a table with just your family, then take one. There's one openin' up right there near the front."

"You can't tell us what to do!"

"I want to sit with him," Felina said, tilting her head toward Aahz. "He's funny."

"He's funny?" the mean one echoed. "What have you done to our innocent little sister?"

"Nothing but look," Aahz said. "Any guy with normal vision would want to do that."

"You looked at our sister?"

"And he put his arm around me, too," Felina said, smugly.

"He what?" One of them grabbed for a bench and upended it, sending the Deveels who were on it tumbling to the ground. He swung it at Aahz, who ducked. The bench hit the back of another patron's head. He jumped up and took a punch at Aahz. Nunzio intercepted the blow as Guido pushed the oncoming brother backwards. The other brothers waded in to defend their sibling. The offended patron picked the pitcher up off his table and emptied it on Nunzio's head. Gus picked up the patron and hooked him on the chandelier. The Deveel threw fire spells at Gus, which just bounced off his stone exterior.

All of us piled in behind Guido, including Tananda. Bunny removed herself from the fray, taking Felina with her by the ear. While I used magik to keep the youngest brother from taking a dirty swing at Aahz from behind, I noticed Bunny giving the girl a piece of her mind. Felina's face, already a natural red, grew redder.

The biggest Deveel brother grabbed up a beer mug and crashed it down on Guido's head.

"Dat does it," the Mob enforcer snarled. He snatched the drink out of the nearest drinker's hand and smashed it directly between the Deveel brother's horns. The Deveel searched out blindly for another stein, and broke it over Guido's skull. Refusing to give ground, Guido held out his hand. Nunzio slapped another mug into it. Guido brought it crashing onto his opponent.

I was dealing with a couple of the smaller brothers. Using magik to yank curios off the wall, they pelted me with weird junk and street signs. I fended them off as best I could, while trying to keep the debris from hitting other customers. Most of them joined in the fray, some from outrage, others for the fun of a good brawl.

Suddenly, I found myself flung against the bar wall, a commemorative trophy in my arms. All of the would-be combatants were similarly pinioned. The bartender walked up and down between us, wielding a bat-shaped staff—the source, I guessed, of the spell.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it!" he bellowed. "When will you people learn? The free-for-all is tomorrow! No unscheduled fights in here tonight! Now, everyone behave or I am tossing you all out into the street!"

The goggle-eyed Deveel brother pointed a finger, which was the only body part he could move. "That Pervert started it!"

Aahz sneered at him. "That's Per-vect, and all I did was buy your sister a drink. She didn't turn me down!"

"Oh, yeah? You had to put a spell on her, because why would she talk to you for one second, let alone

long enough to get your hands on her?"

The bartender kept us hanging there until we settled the argument. As the first lights of dawn began to lighten the sky, we arrived at a truce, negotiated chiefly by Guido and the largest brother, who began to recognize that, appearances aside, his baby sister might not have been totally innocent of provocation.

Once the bartender let us down, the big brother shook hands with Guido. The Deveel family removed their much-chastened sister from Bunny's custody and thence from the bar. I sat down, my ears ringing, and called for a fruit juice.

"What did you tell her?" I asked Bunny. She and Tananda had spent the last three hours of the fray sitting at a side table with the hefty woman and her slim husband.

"That men had responsibilities, but so do women," Bunny said with a sly smile. "If she wants to drive her brothers crazy, she doesn't have to involve a bunch of strangers."

"Sandbagged," Aahz groaned, accepting an ice pack for his head. The veins in his yellow eyes were ochre. "Just my luck I had to get involved with a girl who had family in the neighborhood."

I grinned. "Maybe you shouldn't have asked who her daddy was, but whether she had any brothers."

"You're learning, kid."