Myth-Fortunes

Chapter 6

I looked at it with my mind's eye. Under Aahz's feet was a tiny square platform, just big enough for one person to stand on. Samwise elbowed past me, gushing.

"Oh, that is our very best, the bestbest benben. There's only one of those. It is the capper of the whole project. The top. A fitting memorial to a well-lived, not to say well-recompensed life. And, as I said, the person who purchases the top location will have the pyramid named after him, giving him a place in history."

We gazed around us. The Valley of Zyx spread out beneath us like a giant's sandbox. In the distance, winged creatures I couldn't identify dipped and swooped, but the most numerous living things out on the

surface of the pale golden quicksands were Camels. Here and there, Ghords paddled tiny, one-being boats just large enough to sit in with their knees bent. Otherwise, the desert looked lifeless.

Humble, flat-roofed buildings like the And Company office clustered here and there, and against the eastern foothills colorful tents were spread out like an armload of discarded handkerchiefs. I could just see the corner of Waycross's tomb. There were no other edifices of importance in this desert landscape except Diksen's monumental structure. The whiteness of its sides picked up a tinge of pink now that the sun was starting to dip toward the mountains to the west. Behind it, I noticed a shimmering, pale blue sphere that floated yards over the surface of the sand. "What's that?" I asked.

"Oh, that's Diksen's office suite," Samwise said dismissively. "Such a showoff."

"What is it? It looks like a bubble."

Samwise snorted derisively. "It's a ball of water. The guy just has to flaunt his wealth."

"Wealth?" I echoed. "Water is free."

"Not in a desert, my good man," the Imp said. "It hasn't rained in Ghordon for centuries. The cities maintain magical wells or they irrigate from the Zyx. Wealthy Ghords have a bathtub. The really rich ones have showers."

I admired the finished pyramid again. "Gee," I said, shaking my head.

"Your place really suffers by comparison," Aahz added.

"One day, this pyramid will look like Diksen's," Samwise said, defensively. "Better! It won't have that boring white covering. This one will be faced with clear crystal so that all the work my stonecutters are doing on each tomb can be seen by visitors. It's also thirty feet taller than Diksen's. It will be the tallest thing in the Valley of Zyx!"

For a moment, Aahz's face grew dreamy, but he regained control over himself in a moment. "So ... if I invested in the top spot, the pyramid would be named after me?"

"Of course!" Samwise said. "It's the very least I could do to indicate that location is special—beyond special. Not that its location isn't the most important aspect of it. No one would ever look down on you, in any way, shape or form. Even the steps end at the base of that level, as you see. The top stone itself will form the peak."

"And how much does a penthouse like that cost?" Aahz inquired.

"Only one hundred thousand gold pieces."

I was shocked, but the effect on a Pervect who hated to turn loose an extra copper was dramatic.

"Forget it," Aahz snapped. "I can't think of anything that I'd spend a hundred thousand pieces on." Fie stopped, and his face softened. A huge, wicked grin spread across it. All his teeth showed. He let out a low-throated guffaw. I wished I could see what he was thinking, but glanced at his smile again and was glad I couldn't. "Almost nothing. But on a hunk of rock?"

Samwise tapped him on the arm. 'Ah, but sir, you can't take it with you. What else are you going to do with it?"

"Do?" Aahz echoed. "The moment I find out that my time is up, I'm gonna start whooping it up with all

my buddies, and with luck, drop dead the next day without a plugged nickel to my name."

Samwise wasn't giving up. I could see how he had attained an eighty percent sell-through on a stretch of empty desert. "A most admirable goal, my friend. But before you go, you surely want to make provisions for your . . . legacy."

"What legacy?"

Samwise waved descriptive arms. "This will become the valley of the celebrities."

"These monuments will ensure that your name is remembered for all eternity. Those who have questions can read the legend that is you in the very stone. Your legacy. Your value to the future. As you want it told." He reached into a pocket and came out with a scroll. "Here. Let me show you a few samples that some of my customers have ordered for their own inscriptions." He unspooled it, and it grew lengthwise and widthwise until it was larger than the Imp himself. I peered over Aahz's shoulder at the rows of eagles, dogs, cats, dancing girls, men in headcloths, musicians, suns, moons, stars, and many more esoteric symbols that would not have been out of place in a grimoire. "See here? Denby's a second under-stonemason from Bolder." Samwise perused the symbols and cackled to himself. "Oh, yes, he pulled out all the stops. Yes, you would think from reading this that he ruled half a dimension and had a dozen wives and a fortune the size of the Gnomes!"

Aahz frowned at the rows of pictographs.

"I can't read that."

Samwise reached into the other pocket and came out with a small, handsomely bound leather book for each one of us. "Here's a lexicon to the Ghordish language. Each sign can stand for a letter, a word or even a whole paragraph. You write out the text of what you want on the sides of your stone, and my scribes will render it into glyphs. You can say whatever you want. And most people do."

I looked at the first symbol, the image of a kneeling Ghord wearing a short kilt on one side of its body and a long dress on the other, one hand waving in the air, the other making a fist. On the top of its head was a spindly-legged chair. The translation next to it read, "In the name of Oris, the Ghordess Who is Her Own Brother, I commend to you this male or female who is as lofty above all fellow beings as the clouds are in the sky. How strong and mighty is this male or female, as powerful as the earth!"

The next image was of a Ghord female with a cow's head topped by a wild coiffure.

"Hail to the reader of these precepts in the name of Hathed, She Who Looks As if She Slept in a Field, who commends to you the heroic soul known as (Your Name Here), whose doughty deeds must be proclaimed throughout the land as the finest of all (Your Profession Here) who ever practiced this honorable skill."

I skimmed a few more of the glyphs, but found them to be more of the same, some longer, some shorter. I admired the way the Ghords had managed to get all that information into a single symbol. Since their primary means of noting down information was hammer and chisel on stone, I supposed it was a necessary timesaver. I glanced between the lexicon and Denby's autobiography. On a quick study, I observed that Samwise wasn't telling us the half of what Denby had to say about himself, but in an impressive economy of space.

"You should certainly have this one on your stone, Aahz," Samwise said, pointing to a hawk in a loincloth with one wing extended. "The god Chorus is the Ghord of acclaim. Having that in your inscription really tells people what an important guy you were ... I mean, are."

That reminded me all over again what the purpose of the pyramid was. As astonishing as the view was, I still felt uneasy about being around dead people all the time.

"Aahz, this doesn't really sound like a good idea. ..."

But Aahz wasn't listening to me. "What about an offer in cash? Will that bring the price down a little? How much?"

"Well, you know how my operation works, Aahz," Samwise said. "I can arrange for the artisans to begin work on your stone immediately, but I can't build a penthouse until the rest of the pyramid is filled in below it. No matter how much magik I use, the least cataclysm will bring the whole thing down on our heads. So, are you willing to help me find clients?"

"For a commission?" Aahz asked, one eyebrow up.

"Naturally."

"How much?"

"Oh, we don't need to discuss that now." "You don't think I'm going to buy a Pegasus in a poke, do you? Twenty percent? Fifteen?" "The standard commission."

Aahz sneered. "Oh, ten percent. Why didn't you say that? It's an insult."

"Too little?" Samwise screeched. "When I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime?"

I tapped him on the shoulder. "Uh, Aahz, you said you didn't want to be involved in any pyramid schemes. You said ..."

"Save it, kid," Aahz said sharply, throwing off my hand.

"But, Aahz, look at it from my point of view. There are over a million stones in a pyramid. If I allow you a ten percent commission on each one, you could end up making money. Plenty of it." Samwise smiled as my friend stopped to think. "In no time at all, you would have a free stone plus a weekly paycheck on top of your share of M.Y.T.H., Inc.'s fee. Now, how does that sound?"

Aahz hated to give up without a fight even when he was getting everything he wanted. He glowered for a moment. "What's the catch?"

"No catch! Twenty-five thousand gold pieces for the top stone in Phase Two, reduced by a percentage for each new prospect you bring me who buys in." Samwise held out a hand. Aahz clasped it.

"It's a deal. I think I'm gonna like spending eternity in your little penthouse, pal," Aahz said, with a huge grin. "Yeah, I like the view. Right here, you get the best of the sunset, and probably the sunrise, too. You ought to get a magician to cast illusions of the stones in place. I can't wait to see mine right here." He held up his hands, fingers forming a frame. "Of course, four sides isn't going to be big enough to contain all of my accomplishments, but I can abridge them. Kid, which ones should I have illuminated by the light of the setting sun with those mountains framing them right here?"

"There's only one wee little teensy problem with that, Aahz," Samwise said, edging around carefully so that he was standing behind me. "You can't have this one."

"What?" Aahz roared. He lunged in Samwise's direction. The Imp ducked and sidestepped further. The only way at him was through me. I lifted my hands helplessly. Aahz backpedaled. His eyes glowed

yellow. "Why the hell not?"

Samwise's voice was small and apologetic. "I'm sorry, Aahz, but this place is already spoken for." "By you?"

The Imp waved his hands. "No, no, mine will be a much more humble place. Besides, I couldn't afford the write-down. This one is earmarked for the Pharaoh Suzal, she who rules this fair land."

Aahz's shoulders slumped visibly. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

Samwise sighed. "Between you, me and the benben, Aahz, it was the only way I could get permission to build on this half of the Zyx Valley. After getting snubbed by Diksen, she wasn't in the mood to grant any more licenses. I had to come up with some serious bribes, let me tell you, but when I talked to the great lady herself, there was absolutely only one thing that I could offer that would even keep her from having me pitched out of the palace on my tail, and you're standing on it."

"Deal's off," Aahz said, turning to stomp down the invisible staircase. I could feel the magical structure shake under the force of his footsteps. He was really upset. "I don't settle for second best. I doubt M.Y.T.H., Inc., can help you, pal. Good luck. C'mon, kid."

I have to admit I was relieved. I followed Aahz willingly, readying the spell to take us home.

Samwise, seeing twenty-five thousand gold pieces and his business consultants departing on a pair of green-scaled feet, hurried to head us off.

"Don't despair, my good friend. Don't go! This is only

Phase One of my grand project. Phase Two will be even larger. In fact," he drew close to us and dropped his voice to a near-whisper, "it will be substantially taller than the Pharoah Suzal's pyramid."

Aahz narrowed his eyes. "How much taller?"

"Sixty feet," Samwise said. He pulled a papyrus out of his pocket and glanced around hastily before opening it. "It will be the biggest one in the project. The location is slightly less ideal. I had to give this one the finest site since it was scaled down from my original plans. Cost overruns, you know. But the next one—oh, yes, the next one will be the most impressive. Watch this." He took a small wand out of his pocket and waved it. At once, the bleak desert filled with buildings. I counted about twenty pyramids. Each one was constructed of the blocks we saw being made below us. A skin of smooth, clear crystal covered them creating the four-sided facade I had admired in Diksen's pyramid. In fact, Diksen's was still visible beyond the points of two of the buildings to the east. It didn't look that impressive by comparison.

Between the pyramids were smaller buildings with colorful fronts which I guessed to be shops and guest-houses. Camels swam over the surface of the sand, bearing visitors in what looked like expensive clothing. I could hear faint, mournful voices chanting dirges.

"That's the one I am talking about," Samwise's voice came from behind the image of the completed uppermost tomb. On its side was the image of a swan wearing a crown. A pink hand protruded through the illusion and pointed. Just to the west of the structure on which we now stood, another point aimed toward the sky. Even at this distance it dwarfed the first pyramid and all the other ones close to it. "That could be yours, Aahz. You, at the top of the highest point in the Valley of Zyx. Think of it!"

Aahz was not mollified. "And how do I know you won't build a bigger one in Phase Three?"

"Footprint, Aahz," Samwise said, emerging from the benben with a smile on his face. "You can only put

so many square feet in a yard. Tell you what: you can register my plans with the Pharaoh's clerk—but only after Phase One is complete. I don't want Suzal pulling my license before I'm through. I've had enough problems. You will start tomorrow, won't you?"

"We-eel ..." Aahz was letting himself be persuaded. "Maybe I won't tell the Pharaoh what kind of scam you're pulling. ..."

"The local beer's very good. I'll make sure you have your own barrel."

"I don't know," Aahz said. "I don't want to break any local laws. I bet if I read through the regulations in that tomb— what was its name, Skeeve?"

"Waycross."

"I bet there'll be dozens of rules we're violating."

"Daily barrels of beer?" Samwise offered, looking increasingly desperate.

"Two," Aahz said. "It's a hot climate. You don't want me dehydrating on you. I might start to lose my equilibrium, and you know what happens when a master magician loses his equilibrium. What do you think, kid?"

"Catastrophic," I agreed. "Better make it three barrels."

Samwise gulped. "W-w-why not? I'm sure you'll help me save more than you're costing me. I hope."

"Double, at least," Aahz said, with a casual wave.

"Well, then," Samwise said, pulling two more papyri out of his pocket, "let's formalize our agreement." The first one was between M.Y.T.H., Inc., and And Company. The second, which Aahz read over twice as carefully, was a personal contract for Aahz. I noticed that the terms had been written in exactly as discussed. It puzzled me, until I saw the Pyxie peering out of the Imp's pocket. It looked exhausted. Those miniature beings were the fastest scribes in all the dimensions. Samwise probably figured he couldn't lose a minute when signing a prospect. He flicked a talon at a series of dotted lines. "Sign there, there, there, and there."

That was when I stepped in. "We'll take that first one back with us tonight and bring it back tomorrow," I said, taking it from Samwise. "Aahz will want to read it over first."

Meaning it had to go up before the partners to agree if we took it. Bunny had made us start checking to be sure that we didn't have conflicts of interest after Guido and Chumley had ended up on opposite sides of what had sounded like a pretty good deal. Aahz shrugged.

"No problem, no problem!" Samwise said. "Do you want to take the second one home with you, too? The only way to make sure that everything is the way you like it is to sign right now. Because I warn you, the terms will go up every few hours. Standard Deveel contracts."

I opened my mouth to suggest that Aahz do just that, but he was too impatient. He grabbed the second document and put his name on the dotted line.

"Thank you," Samwise said. He snatched it away as if he was afraid that Aahz might change his mind and tear it up on the spot.

I heard a loud rip.

"Ow!" Aahz bellowed. "What did you just do to me? I wasn't going to sign it in blood!"

I looked at his finger. A narrow slit had opened up in the pad just under the talon. Yellow-green blood welled up.

"That's strange," I said. I didn't know Pervects could get paper cuts. Their scaly skin was too thick and tough. I'd known Aahz to squeeze handfuls of broken glass without cutting himself.

"Just bad luck," Samwise said and then looked guilty.