Myth-Fortunes

Chapter 23

The diplomatic contingent intending to pay a visit to Diksen's pavilion was a lot larger than I had anticipated, but there was plenty of room on the Lunar Boat for all of us. Lord Wat-Is-Et joined See-Ker's royal party in the stern of the boat. Aahz huddled with Markie and Massha off on one side. Guido and Nunzio insisted on staying close to me wherever I went.

"There is no way we would let you visit this guy unprotected," Guido said. "Miss Bunny was displeased when you didn't come back to Deva the other night. She has been most upset. If we let you go unaccompanied, she would be most upset with us, and that we do not need to experience."

"Granted," I said. I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of Bunny's temper, either. "Sure. I'll be glad to have you with me.

Guido cleared his throat a trifle uncomfortably. "Uh, Miss Bunny wants to see you when you get back this evenin'. Also Miss Tananda. They were both kinda insistent. And Gleep and Buttercup were pretty broke down when Aahz brought the news back."

"I'll come back with you fellows," I promised. I felt a pang of guilt. Poor Gleep! All this time I had been worrying about Aahz, and I had forgotten about my dragon. That was irresponsible pet ownership. I was ashamed of myself.

A few of Badaxe's men on Camel-back trailed the Lunar Boat as we plied our way over the moonlit sands toward the bubble, gleaming under that cool yellow light. Tweety sailed above us, afraid he would upset the boat, but when we arrived underneath the bubble, he came to hover at our side.

"All right, kid," Aahz said. "You know where Diksen's office is. Let's fly up there before he can split."

See-Ker held up a long hand. "I believe that we will get a more positive response if we approach him as supplicants," he said.

I elevated everybody into the anteroom. We were a huge crowd balancing on the ring-shaped floor

around the pool that represented the bottom of the sphere, but no one fell in. I mean, out. Even the servants with the fans found a place to perch.

"Smoothly done," said the king.

Aahz was impatient. "Never mind the compliments. Hey! Anyone home?"

The dark-feathered secretary came hurrying out of a small door in between two works of art on the walls. She had a purse over her shoulder.

"Office hours are at an end, dear visitors," she said. "I was about to go home!"

Aahz glared at her. "We want to see the boss. Now."

"Tact, Aahz, tact," Chumley advised. He inclined his head, not daring to bow for fear of precipitating either Badaxe or Massha into the drink. "My dear young lady, I realize it is late, but may we see Diksen? As you see, we have rather a distinguished visitor who would like to speak with him." He held out a hand toward See-Ker.

The girl went wide eyed and bowed deeply to the king.

"Greetings, Matt, O feather of efficiency," he said.

"Greetings, O See-Ker, great king of Necropolis," she said. "What are you doing with all these outlanders?"

"In search of an answer which only your employer can provide. Will you summon him?"

"For you, great master, anything!" Her eyes shone adoringly. She placed her palms together and intoned at the ceiling, "O great Diksen, he of the endless wisdom, writer of spellbinding texts, worker of wonders, son beloved of Maul-De and Omphalos, brother to Zimov and Clar-Ek! Be with us here and now, I do most urgently entreat!"

"She has to do this every time she wants to see her boss?" Massha asked. "Pretty cumbersome, if you ask me."

"She is painstaking," See-Ker said. "Diksen is fortunate to have her. Good secretaries are very hard to find."

Matt brought her hands together, and the clap sounded like thunder. The hound-faced Ghord appeared before her, still clasping a book.

"What is it?" he demanded, glancing up and staring at the massive crowd in his anteroom. "Late ... not expecting visitors ... oh. Majesty. Would have made arrangements ... feast."

See-Ker smiled at him. "My esteemed friend, Diksen, this is just a visit of courtesy. I bring friends."

On cue, Aahz dragged Samwise forward. The Imp's knees were knocking.

"Not him," Diksen mumbled furiously, gesturing threateningly with his book. "He is a . . . thief. Dorsals!"

I saw shapes swimming around the shell of the building. Light from the room's many lamps flashed off weapons.

"No one else, thanks," Markie said. "There's enough of a crowd in here already." She waved a hand, and

the inside wall of the bubble froze solid. Thwarted, the Dorsals pounded on the ice with the butts of their spears. "Go on, your majesty!" Markie suggested, in her most adorable voice. "We won't be interrupted again."

See-Ker nodded. "Perhaps Samwise is a thief, but he is a thief willing to make amends. Will you hear him? He grovels most satisfyingly."

Diksen blew out a deep breath, making his jowls flap. "For you, majesty ... of course." He glared at his former employee. "Talk."

Samwise twitched. "Uh, right, well, Diksen, I know you weren't too happy with my work, but I always respected what you did! You knew I dreamed of being an architect like you. I studied the masters, but what you were doing—you thought big! Really big! I would have been satisfied to do a fraction of what you did. I would have been proud to make use of your leavings . . . and, uh, that's what I did."

"That pyramid ... for Mumsy!" Diksen exclaimed, waving his hands. He prodded Samwise with the book. "Insult . . . dire . . . death!"

"I can tell you're pretty mad," I said, "but all Samwise wants to do is apologize. Don't you, Samwise?"

"Uh, yeah!" the Imp said. "I apologize. It was wrong of me. I'll apologize to your mother, too, if you want. It's the least that I can do."

"Summon Maul-De," See-Ker told Matt.

The secretary had a separate invocation for Diksen's mother. When the smoke cleared and Maul-De stepped forward, I was one of the few who didn't recoil. Her face was shrunken, even by Necrop standards, and her back was bent, but Diksen put his arm around her as if she was a piece of priceless porcelain. Aswana went to her other side. The old lady greeted her with pleasure.

"What is this?" she asked in her querulous voice.

"Miserable . . . thieving clerk . . . apologize," Diksen said.

She turned toward Samwise, and her wasted frame seemed to expand. She straightened up until she seemed almost as tall as See-Ker.

"Well?"

Samwise flinched and tried to flee. Badaxe picked him up by his collar and held him, legs windmilling, over the open pool.

"Haven't you got something to say to the lady?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, of course. Maul-De, I'm sorry. I... uh ... didn't think about those plans being a tribute your son wanted to build for you. I, uh, well, what can I say? I abjectly apologize. I never wanted to offend you in any way in my entire life! I have great respect for you. You're an amazing person, and, uh, I admire you and your son."

"And . . . ?" Maul-De pressed.

"And, what?" Samwise asked, puzzled.

"And you are going to take down that abomination out there?" she asked, pointing a bony finger in the direction of Phase One.

"Take it down?" Samwise asked. "I can't do that! I've got thousands invested in it! Thousands of people on the job, thousands more who have bought into it! I can't just destroy it."

Maul-De turned away with a wave of her hand. "Kill him."

Diksen pushed back his sleeves, a grim smile on his face as if he had been waiting for an opportunity like that for years. Markie and Massha revved up their respective talents and stood ready to counterattack. The Imp fell to his knees and threw his arms over his head.

"Wait, wait, wait!" I said, getting in between them. "Killing Samwise won't solve the problem. Can't we come to some other agreement?"

"... What?" Diksen asked.

"Make it worth his while," Aahz said, nudging Samwise with his toe. The Imp was surrounded by a ring of faces, all on our side, with the exception of Diksen, of course. "We all have a stake in this. Fix it!"

Samwise cleared his throat. "Uh, listen, Maul-De, I'll make a donation to any charity of your choice of, say, ten percent of my profits." "Twenty," Aahz said. "Aahz!"

Samwise sighed. "Twenty."

"Not good enough," Diksen growled.

"Thirty, and I'll throw in ten percent of my commission if you take the curse off, too," Aahz said, with a warning finger held up to stop Samwise from bursting out with a protest.

"The curse is no more than you deserved," Maul-De said, narrowing her large black eyes at him. "You got caught in a trap set by my son to catch miserable thieves like you."

"But the rest of us get it, too," Aahz pointed out. "Bad luck's been following anybody who got involved with this, and that's not fair. You nearly killed Skeeve when your goons threw him out of your sphere. For that I ought to kill you, but I'm giving you a chance to make it right."

"He fell through the sands into our realm," Aswana added. "It was a wonder that he made it alive!"

For the first time Diksen looked abashed. He mumbled into his jowls. "Shouldn't have killed anyone . . . minor matter . . . pull out of the sand . . . buildup of bad luck. Sorry ... both of you. You bought into ... that... thing!" His hand shook as he pointed toward Samwise's construction project.

"Are you trying to say that the accumulation of misfortune is the reason that Aahz couldn't rescue me?" I asked. "But I never signed a contract."

"Don't use many curses," Diksen admitted. "... Threat was a deterrent enough ... I thought."

"Turns out you were wrong," Aahz said. "It's stronger than you thought it was. How about lifting it? You can leave it on Samwise, for all I care." "Aahz!"

Diksen waved a hand. "Not interested... should have been unique . . . twenty more to come . . . ruined my plans!"

"And you will not lift this curse under any circumstances?" asked See-Ker.

"Will not!"

"Is that your final word?"

Diksen crossed his arms on his chest and nodded. See-Ker sighed. "It will hold."

"We are all reasonable people, I hope," Chumley said. "How can we cut through this Ghordian 'not'?"

"You don't, alas," See-Ker said. "It is a serious thing. The pyramid is still a fact. Come, friends, we must withdraw."

"Wait a minute," Aahz said. "Is that it? You won't even consider it? What about the rest of us? I can't sell something that I know has a curse on it!"

For answer, Diksen put his arm around his mother's shoulders. The two of them popped out of existence.

"I am afraid, gentlefolk, that I must bid you good night," Matt said. She glanced outside. Night had fallen. "I believe I have even missed the last carpet going into town."

"We can offer you a Camel," I said. "We have a bunch of them waiting down below for us. I'll pay for it."

"That is most kind of you," Matt said in surprise.

"None of this is your fault," I said. "Come on, fellows."

We returned to the half-finished pyramid feeling low.

"All is not lost," Chumley said. "We can try to undo the curse on our own. I will examine the royal library. The librarian, Alexandria, is a good friend. If there is anything in a historical text, I shall find it."

"Me, too," said Massha. "I'll research it from my end. I'll send a note to my friends in Jahk. A sports-oriented dimension like mine uses lots of curses. Some of them last over a century!"

I thanked them for their help. "Aahz and I will make the rounds in the Bazaar. If there's anything effective for sale, they'll have it."

"For a price," Aahz scowled, not looking enthusiastic.

"We'll figure this out." Hugh Badaxe gave Aahz a slap on the back. "You don't need us anymore. I've got to get my guys back. We've got to attack the spring harvest. Hay and early peas, you know."

Aahz waved a hand. "Go ahead. Thanks for the help. I owe you."

"Happy to do it, for you or Skeeve. I can leave a few men for a short time if you want. They don't get to travel much, and they want to see Ghordon. They're already making friends with some of those critter-faces out there."

"I'd appreciate it," Aahz said.

"Glad to see you among the living," Badaxe said to me, then glanced at See-Ker, "so to speak. We should go."

"Hey, big spender, can you give a girl a hand?" Massha asked, quietly in my ear. "I could use a boost to get all the men back to Possiltum. I'm afraid of burning out my transport lamp. I'm low on fuel, and it's so darned hard to get the formula." Massha's magik relied mostly on gadgets, most of them unique.

"Sure," I said. "What's it run on?

"The usual stuff—dinosaur dung, unicorn hair, dragon toenails, Cyclops sweat."

I cringed at the idea of getting dragon toenails for her. Gleep hated it when I clipped his claws; he would whimper and try to hide his paws from me. "How about I just take you all back so you don't have to burn out the light?"

"That'd be great." Massha gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Glad to see you the way you always are," she said. "It was tough, thinking what it would be like without you." Then she leaned close and whispered in my ear, "Honey, don't let Aahz pretend to be all tough with you. He cried like a baby. But don't tell him I told you so."

"Never," I promised.

Markie brushed off her tiny dress. "I'm off, too. I've got a family gathering on Cupid. I joined a singing group, the Cupy Pies. We'll be performing at the reunion. Close harmony ballads." She gave me a sideways glance which I realized to my surprise was shyness. "Come to one of our concerts some time."

"Thanks," I said. "I will. Tell Melvine I said hi."

"With pleasure," she said. "He's a changed Cupy since he was in your class. He's normally not much on showing admiration, but you earned it."

Before I could sputter out my embarrassment, she blinked out.

"Do not view this as a failure," See-Ker said to Aahz. "You may still persuade Diksen. He is a sensible man. Now that you have approached him, he will consider his feelings and come to a reasonable conclusion. It may take time. I suggest that, since you have made commitments to others, that you go on with your project. Now, we must leave before the sun creeps above the horizon."

"Prepare the royal vessel!" the servants cried.

I said my farewells to my new friends.

"Come back and see me some time," Aswana said, clasping my hands in hers. "I have so much more of my country to show you."

"Maybe," I said. She was very nice, but I found it hard to get past the sunken cheeks and dry skin over bone-thin hands. Still, the Necrops had been more help than I could have asked for.

Aahz and I went out to see them depart. They boarded their ship and took their seats. The rowers took up their oars.

The full moon had shifted, but it still lit up the sails of the Lunar Boat. The long, flat-hulled vessel sailed out into the midst of the desert and descended out of sight.

"That's the way I feel," Aahz said, standing beside me. "Sunk."