Myth-Fortunes

Chapter 21

A horde of servants and a few courtiers accompanied the king down a long hallway. The floor, like that in the throne room, was made of jeweled mosaic, though the ceiling, like everyplace else I had seen so far in Necropolis, looked like compressed sand. Aswana and I followed See-Ker, who pointed out interesting artifacts in niches and alcoves along the hallway.

"... And that is a bust of my father, Thoth-Fal the Third. He was a great man, a great thinker, always seeking to enlarge our knowledge of our native wildlife. I wish you would stay longer and see his water gardens. They are the finest anywhere. Such fruit! Such flowers!"

"Maybe I can come back some day," I said. Aswana squeezed my arm.

"You would be very welcome," See-Ker said. His servants ran on ahead of us and threw open the gigantic double doors at the end of the corridor. "Now, let's get going. Behold the Lunar Boat!"

I followed him into the huge chamber and gawked.

Balanced on a pair of cradles was the largest boat I had ever seen. It was made of a white, polished wood that looked like ivory. Round openings along the upper hull could accommodate oars, but the boat also had masts for sails. The long keel was flat for most of its length, turning up only at the prow and stern. On either side of the prow were two enormous eyes. Underneath one of them was a single glyph.

"It means 'She in the shape of the yellow tree fruit like the crescent moon that sails beneath moonlight at the command of his majesty the king of Lower Aegis under the protection of the Ancients and all magikal powers,' whispered Aswana.

"The king's banana boat," I said. "But what does it sail on?"

"Sand," See-Ker said, laughing. "I can sail anywhere in the Underworld with this vessel." "I mean, what propels it?"

"Moonlight. It only needs to be charged once per month, when the moon above Aegis is full. It is very economical to operate. Come aboard!"

Several servants lowered a gangplank for us. See-Ker started aboard. A dancing girl preceded him, throwing flower petals at his feet. The courtiers filed on, no doubt in order of precedence. Aswana and I came last. Everyone settled into decl chairs facing the bow, each with a flower-shaped canopy.

Servants wrapped the king and all his courtiers in linen bands until only their eyes showed. I thought again of that preserved corpse at my school. The traveling adventurer had told us it was a demon, dried out and blackened by its evil life. That 'demon' must have been short for 'dimensional traveller,' and the body must have been that of a Necrop, probably stolen out of one of the ornate tombs the Necrops used to honor their dead. Now I felt sorry for whoever it had been. If my path ever crossed that adventurer's path again, I would bring the body home to Ghord. The servants came to me with their arms full of bandages.

"No, thanks," I said, fending them off. "I've got my jacket."

"Ah, but you will need these, O Skeeve," the king said. All I could see now were his eyes. His crown and headdress had been set on top of his wrapped head. A slit was cut in the bandages so he could speak. "It is very cold in the passage among the sands, and the dust that kicks over the bows is abrasive even to toughened skins."

"Well, all right." Reluctantly, I allowed the servants to wind linen around my legs, neck, and face. I was nervous as a servant with a huge knife bore down on me, but the dramatic slash only opened the space over my mouth. I patted the place gingerly with my fingers and looked at them, but there was no blood. They carefully threaded tiny bandages around my fingers so it looked as if I were wearing gloves.

"There! You look just like one of us, O Skeeve. Most handsome. Are you married?" See-Ker asked.

"Uh, no," I said, nervously. "Why?"

"The ladies of my court found you most attractive," See-Ker said. I glanced at Aswana, who lowered her bony chin into her wrappings and giggled. "If you wished, you could have many of them at your beck."

I fingered my collar nervously. "To tell you the truth, your majesty, I'm looking for a girl who likes

sunlight."

"Ah, well," See-Ker said. "But come back again to visit us any time."

The navigator came to ask me a few specific questions about our destination. I did my best to tell him where on the surface I wanted him to go, though I had never measured the actual distance from, say, Waycross's Tomb to the And Company site. He nodded and unrolled charts, which he showed to the captain, an older Necrop with bowed legs. The captain shouted orders. A few of the servants ran to pick up huge palm fronds and stand by us, ready to fan at See-Ker's command. Oarsmen took their places on benches that faced the rear of the boat and threaded oars through the holes in the sides of the boat.

"One, two! One, two!" the coxswain at the prow shouted through a megaphone. "Put some life into it!"

The rowers dipped the oars and began to pull. It felt as if nothing was happening at first. Then I felt the boat lift. The rowers hauled faster and faster. The boat made for the sand ceiling. I thought we would plow right into it, but a space opened up ahead of us about six or seven feet deep, like a bow wave. As See-Ker had predicted, sand blew over the rails and showered all of us. The servants with the fans batted most of it away, but I got a mouthful of moist, fine grains. I spat them out, to the merriment of the court.

'The King's Banana Boat' plowed upward at an angle, giving me the privilege of watching my descent to Lower Aegis in reverse, conscious and in comfort, in contrast to my arrival.

I thought that the inside of a desert would be featureless, but to my surprise, we passed small huts, occupied by a Necrop or two and a couple of animals. Other ruins, both right side up and upside down, appeared, giving me time for a quick, curious glance before they vanished again. The tillerman never struck any of them. He must have known his route well. I had been lucky not to get caught in any of the ancient buildings myself. I never would have beeen found. I tried not to think about how close that fall had come to killing me and tried to enjoy the trip upward instead.

The surrounding sand started to get drier and hotter. I didn't need the increased activity of the boat's crew to know that we were close to our destination. 'The King's Banana Boat' tipped upward more acutely. Light broke around us for the first time.

Like everyone else aboard, I shielded my eyes against the blinding brightness of the sky. My eyes got used to the orange light in moments, and I realized sheepishly that the sun had just set. It was almost twilight. I had become accustomed to a land of near darkness.

Pop!

The bubble protecting us from the sand burst as 'The King's Banana Boat' thudded onto the surface and skimmed along the desert sands beside a gleaming, broad ribbon of a river. I stood up to scan the horizon.

I was relieved to see that the captain and the navigator had worked out from my scanty directions the best way back to the Valley of Zyx. We were within a couple of miles of Samwise's pyramid. The flat top, with a few new stones sticking up like baby teeth, beckoned to me. I felt like taking off and flying there, but I might not have been as fast as the lunar boat. Free now from having to tunnel, it whizzed along like a dragon.

"How strange to see a pyramid being constructed the wrong way up," See-Ker said, eyeing Diksen's pyramid to our left. "It is a funny idea."

I glanced at the people moving around on the flagstone paths that lay around the work area. It seemed as if the usual population of the site had doubled or tripled in the last couple of days.

"Who are all those people?" I asked.

"They do not look happy," See-Ker said.

You couldn't have sailed a boat like 'The King's Banana Boat' anywhere without attracting a lot of attention, so I wasn't surprised when Ghords on the site started shouting and pointing in our direction. They began to gather in large crowds, each Ghord with a torch in one hand and a tool or implement in the other. I was puzzled. When we got a little closer, I could hear what they were saying.

"Go home, Necrops! Go home, Necrops!"

See-Ker shook his head. "Why can't we all just get along?" he asked.

A flying wedge of black specks came hurtling toward us. "King See-Ker?" called the lead Scarab. "Yes, it is I," the head Necrop said. "Is that you, Beltasar?"

"It is, sir. Perhaps you should not come here today. There has been some trouble, and the Ghords are restless."

As soon as I recognized the site manager, I started to unwind the wrappings around my face.

"It's okay," I said, pushing the bandages off my head. I combed my hair out with my fingers. "They're just bringing me back here."

"Skeeve!" the Scarab sang. The rest of the workers surrounded me. "Everyone is upset over you, especially Aahz."

"I know," I said, grimly. "Just make sure we can dock, okay?"

"Leave it to me!"

Shrilling out orders, Beltasar led her winged beetles back across the narrowing expanse of desert. They buzzed the Ghords until the line of carvers and illuminators broke up into small groups and put down their tools. Beltasar buzzed back to us.

"All set! I told them you are on board. It is good news, even if the Necrops scare them."

"You've met the king?" I asked. "I didn't see any Scarabs in Lower Aegis."

"Oh, yes," Beltasar said, proudly. "I learned stonemasonry from Necrop masters sent to Scarab Polytechnic University by his majesty. Class of 7492! He came to our graduation," the beetle added proudly. "He gave me my diploma with his own hands! I shall never forget that day, and neither will my nine thousand, eight hundred and six children."

By the time the lunar boat pulled up against the long stone pier, the way had been cleared.

The Ghords cowered back from the Necrop sailors who jumped out and made the boat fast, but as soon as I came off, they crowded around me, pounding my back and singing.

"We must give praise to the Ancients for your safe return!" exclaimed Ay-Talek, the chief scribe. She ran toward the nearest shrine and began to fling flower petals over the figure of the Ancient.

"Hapi-Ar will be glad that you are back!" Lol-Kit agreed. "I must go and thank him for your safe delivery!"

"That's great," I said. She smiled and scooted away through the crowd. I turned to Pe-Kid, the green-faced Ghord. "Where's . . . ?"

"And so will Oris, She of the Dual Personalities," he said. "I shall just go and offer two kinds of thanks ..."

I grabbed him before he could run off. "Aahz. Where's Aahz?"

"We have not seen him for hours," Pe-Kid said, regarding me with surprise. "He has been in conference. Yesterday he mustered all of the Camels in the area to search the sands below Diksen's domicile. When they were not successful, he went over the hills to the Pharaoh's palace and returned with one of the royal Sphinxes. The next morning, all these people came."

I glanced over at the crowd of strangers. To my surprise, I saw they were Klahds. They weren't wearing uniforms, but they were all large, fit, and armed, like military men. I thought I recognized a few of the faces.

I went up to a big man with gray temples who looked the most familiar.

"Excuse me," I said, "but aren't you from Possiltum?"

The man's face broke into a wide smile. "Lord Skeeve?" he asked. "Good to see you again! I bet you don't remember me: Corporal Sangmeister? Lord Aahz said you were gone forever!"

I groaned. Aahz had called in not only the cavalry, but the former infantry. "Who's commanding you?"

Sangmeister aimed a thumb over his shoulder. "We're all retired now, sir, but General Badaxe is in there with Aahz. They're planning some kind of invasion. ..."

"General Badaxe . . . ? I'd better get in there!"

I strode toward the And Company office building, getting more worried as I went. He had already enlisted Tweety and, I bet, Chumley, to assist in searching for me. Now he had called in a wall of muscle.

"I shall come with you, O Skeeve," King See-Ker said. His long legs easily kept up with my hasty stride. The shorter attendants hurried in our wake, a couple of them still trying to fan their master as they ran.

My appearance surprised the office staff. I fended off their good wishes and anxious expressions of concern.

"Where's Aahz?" I asked.

"He is in conference," said Miss Tauret, pointing the way toward our office. I glanced down the hallway. Tweety the Sphinx didn't fit all the way. His leonine backside and broad wings were halfway out of the room, which meant there was a big crowd in our spacious atelier. "He doesn't want to be disturbed. He is planning something dire, I fear." Her usually cheerful face was woeful.

Revenge against Diksen, I guessed.

"It'll be okay now that I'm back," I assured her.

I peeked over the Sphinx's rump into the room. I knew most of the faces. Aahz had called in some pretty big guns. Perched on an architect's stool much too small for his sizeable backside was Hugh Badaxe,

general of the queen's troops, of Possiltum. Beside him, still clutching a bright orange handkerchief in her large hand, was Massha, my former apprentice and present Royal Magician. Mascara ran down her large face in black rivulets. She didn't seem to care. Chumley, in headcloth and kilt, offered suggestions from a corner where he would not overpower smaller members of Aahz's cabal. His purple fur drooped.

The small figure sitting on top of the drawing table with one knee over the other was Markie. She looked like a very small Klahdish child, but she was actually an adult from a dimension called Cupid, where the people were small and soft-fleshed. I knew from experience that she was capable of wreaking intense havoc wherever she went. She was there as Aahz's magikal firepower.

Markie felt she owed M.Y.T.H., Inc., several favors: first, for not outing her as a psychological hit woman, and second, for offering friendship after all she had done to us. I had even made use of her particular talents in helping to train my magik students (see CDM). She and I got along very well . . . now.

Aahz paraded up and back before his cobbled-together fighting force.

"... The idea," Aahz was saying, "is to take the place to pieces and deal with his defenses from too many angles for him to react coherently to any one of them. Diksen gets no quarter from me. Markie, you've seen the bubble. Can you break it down?"

"You bet I can," the Cupy said, her small face grim. "That magician did in one of the most decent people who ever lived. I have to admit, air magik is really my strongest suit, but I can handle water, no problem."

"Good," Aahz said. "Land those fighting fish on the ground. Badaxe's people on Camel-back can handle them once they hit the sand. Unless they sink. Which wouldn't make me cry at all."

"Look, Aahz," Guido said, "fightin's not the first solution."

"What? Diplomacy? And listen to him lie to us again?" Aahz snarled. Guido subsided, shaking his head. Aahz in full flame was more terrifying than a dragon.

"I must concur," Chumley said, holding up a purple forefinger. "Did he actually lie to you? And who caused him to call for his guards? Anyone would react to a forceful approach."

"Chumley! I thought you were on my side!" Aahz said.

"I am, old chap. I am on the side of the truth, which could be a more potent weapon against Diksen's resistance than any of muscle, steel, or magik."

"The truth?" Aahz echoed. "The truth is that I am going to get even with Diksen. His secretary said he couldn't help, even after I went back and told her what happened. What he did ..." His voice trailed off. "I don't care what happens. I want that guy's ball crushed!"

I had to get in there. I tried pushing past the Sphinx, but he might as well have been made of stone. I clambered up on his flanks.

"Sorry," I said, as Tweety turned to give me a look of outrage that swiftly turned to one of astonishment and delight.

"Skeeve!" he said. He let me slide down his forepaw.

Massha spotted me. She gawked and poked General Badaxe. He was intent on Aahz and didn't notice.

Samwise was jammed into a spot between Tweety and a bench on which Guido and Nunzio sat with their arms folded. I slid into him when I clambered down the Sphinx's shoulder to the floor.

"Skeeve!" he exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pumping

it.

"Skeeve," Aahz said, rounding on Samwise. "Who did you think we were talking about all this time? I want revenge! That guy's gonna pay.

"Aahz," I said, waving a hand for his attention. "Aahz!"

"What?"

He turned to confront me, and his yellow-veined eyes widened.

"I'm okay," I said.