The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything

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The 5 greatest regrets of the dying and how to avoid them

Bronnie Ware is an Australian palliative nurse who spent years taking care of the dying in the last three months of their lives. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

She eventually put together the five most common regrets from people moments away from their last breath and posted it online. It went viral, and the story was picked up by The Guardian and The Daily Mail, among others.

So what were the greatest regrets she heard from patient after patient? Didn’t make enough money? Didn’t work enough hours? Not enough vacations? Not enough homes?

No. You know that by now. The 5 Greatest Regrets of the Dying are:

Every time I read this list I am stunned into silence for a minute. I think how many of these regrets I would have if I died today. There are always a couple I can work on, and this list serves as inspiration. But one thing I also notice is this entire list relates to authenticity. Directly. It’s all about being you.

What happens if you be you and be cool with it? Well, I would argue if you’re being yourself, then:

You do live a life true to yourself.

You do overvalue your time and find a job that fits your life.

You do express your feelings.

You do keep in touch with your friends.

You do let yourself be happier.

Being you removes regrets from your life.

Authenticity removes regrets from your life.

Here are a few additional observations from Nurse Bronnie that were shared in The Guardian. Notice how they relate to authenticity:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me—This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

“I wish that I had let myself be happier—This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”