The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything

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What can we learn from the most common advice of all?

While clicking around those newspaper websites with opposing headlines, I asked myself, “What advice is most commonly accepted as truth?” Be happy first? Do it for you? Remember the lottery? No. What advice do we all know regardless of our background or experiences?

It suddenly hit me.

Clichés.

Advice that’s been said so many times it’s become well known to everybody. A rolling stone gathers no moss. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Actions speak louder than words. We all know clichés! But what is a cliché, anyway?

Cliché: an expression or idea which has been used and overused because it is or was once considered meaningful.

I also learned that cliché comes from the French. In old printing presses, a cliché was a physical metal printing plate that was also called a stereotype. Over time it made sense to cast commonly used phrases in a single slug of metal instead of letter by letter. So a cliché was a collection of words used together often.

Once I learned what a cliché was, I started looking up lists of clichés.

The most timeless advice of all.

I found as many as I could.

And guess what I saw?

Lots of clichés conflict, too!

What’s the single biggest problem with all advice you will ever receive?

The fact there is no such thing as rock-solid advice.

There just isn’t any.

No advice bird in the bush (what if you’re vegetarian?), nothing you can hang your hat on (what if you don’t wear hats?), and nothing you can take to the bank (or bank online?).

Advice is never objectively true in all situations.

How unsettling!

What’s the proof?

The proof is that even well-worn clichés look flimsy lined up against their exact opposite.

All advice conflicts!

Have you ever decided what school to go to? Do you notice everyone has a different opinion? Ignore them. Go with The Bench Test. Follow your heart. Have you ever told people what you’re naming your baby? Bad idea. Advice comes flying at you. Have you tried asking for advice on what job to do next in your career? Go up, go across, just leave? Everyone says something different. Everyone says go somewhere different and do something different.

Recently, a friend of mine announced she was quitting. Some said, “Great idea, you’re free, get out of here!” and others said, “You’re an idiot! This is the best place to work.”

Remember: Advice reflects the adviser’s thoughts, not your thoughts.

Ads tells you one thing, your boss says another, parents tell you one thing, friends say another.

And advice is important for a while.

Watch out for cars. Don’t eat worms. Flush the toilet.

But happy people know when it’s important to stop taking advice and start listening to yourself.

Any cliché, quote, or piece of advice that resonates with you only confirms to your mind something you already know.

Charles Varlet wrote back in 1872, “When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.”

That’s why we like certain advice and don’t like other advice. It’s the reason people read newspapers that conform to their views as opposed to the ones against them.

So what’s the single best piece of advice you’ll ever take?

Don’t take advice.

The answers are all inside you.

Think deep and decide what’s best.

Go forth and be happy.

And don’t take advice.