Watching the English

THE AFFECTED INDIFFERENCE RULE

This is partly because of another set of unwritten rules about dress, which derive in part from the humour rules that are so deeply ingrained in the English psyche. In particular, our attitude to dress is governed by the omnipresent Importance of Not Being Earnest rule. Dress, like pretty much everything else, is not to be taken too seriously. It is not done to be too intensely interested in one's clothes - or rather, one should not be seen to be overly concerned about being fashionable or well dressed. We admire eccentricity, because genuine eccentricity means not caring a hoot about the opinion of others. This state of perfect indifference may never in fact be achieved, except perhaps among the clinically insane and some elderly aristocrats, but it is an ideal to which we all aspire. We make do with the next best thing: affected indifference - we pretend that we do not care very much about what we wear or how we look.

The affected-indifference rule applies most strictly to English males, among whom any expression of interest in fashion or appearance is regarded as effeminate. And it doesn't even have to be verbally expressed - any slight evidence of interest in dress, of taking a bit of care over one's appearance, can cast doubt on one's masculinity. Many English males almost feel obliged to dress badly, just to prove they are not homosexual.

Younger males are, in fact, secretly highly concerned about conforming to the current street-fashions, sporting the required tribal affiliation-signals, but only their mothers, from whom they beg the money to purchase these items, know how deeply important this is to them. Teenage girls are the only real exception to the affected-indifference rule: they are allowed to express their keen interest in clothes and concerns about their appearance - at least among themselves: in the company of males, they tend to play down these anxieties, and avoid mentioning the hours they spend poring over fashion magazines and eagerly debating the merits of kitten heels or hair-straighteners.