Children Are from Heaven: Positive Parenting Skills for Raising Cooperative, Confident, and Compassionate Children
О книге
Аннотация
- Начало книги
- Acknowledgments
- Introduction
- LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
- FINDING A BETTER WAY
- THE NEW CRISIS OF PARENTING
- LOVE- VERSUS FEAR-BASED PARENTING
- CHILDREN TODAY ARE DIFFERENT
- GIVING UP PUNISHMENT
- THE RESULTS OF FEAR-BASED PARENTING
- NOT ENOUGH TIME TO PARENT
- UPDATING YOUR PARENTING SKILLS
- 1 Children Are from Heaven
- EVERY CHILD HAS HIS OR HER OWN UNIQUE PROBLEMS
- THE FIVE MESSAGES OF POSITIVE PARENTING
- A VISION OF POSSIBILITIES
- 2 What Makes the Five Messages Work
- THE PRESSURE OF PARENTING
- REINVENTING PARENTING
- A SHORT HISTORY OF PARENTING
- VIOLENCE IN, VIOLENCE OUT
- WHY CHILDREN BECOME UNRULY AND DISRUPTIVE
- A GLOBAL SHIFT IN CONSCIOUSNESS
- 3 New Skills to Create Cooperation
- ASK, BUT DON ’T ORDER OR DEMAND
- USE “WOULD YOU” AND NOT “COULD YOU”
- GIVE UP RHETORICAL QUESTIONS
- BE DIRECT
- GIVE UP EXPLANATIONS
- GIVE UP GIVING LECTURES
- DON ’T USE FEELINGS TO MANIPULATE
- THE MAGIC WORD TO CREATE COOPERATION
- A SHORT REVIEW AND PRACTICE
- WHAT TO DO WHEN CHILDREN RESIST
- 4 New Skills to Minimize Resistance
- FOUR SKILLS TO MINIMIZE RESISTANCE
- THE FOUR TEMPERAMENTS
- Sensitive Children Need Listening and Understanding
- Active Children Need Preparation and Structure
- Responsive Children Need Distraction and Direction
- Receptive Children Need Ritual and Rhythm
- LOVING RITUALS
- PRACTICAL RITUALS
- GIVING OUR CHILDREN WHAT THEY NEED
- 5 New Skills for Improving Communication
- WHY CHILDREN RESIST
- TAKING TIME TO LISTEN
- THE TWO CONDITIONS
- HARD-LOVE PARENTING
- SOFT-LOVE PARENTING
- LEARNING TO DELAY GRATIFICATION
- MEETING YOUR CHILDREN ’S NEEDS
- 6 News Skills for Increasing Motivation
- A SHORT UPDATE ON PUNISHMENT
- WHY AND WHEN PUNISHMENT WORKED
- THE POSITIVE SIDE OF PUNISHMENT
- THE SIMPLE PROOF
- THE ALTERNATIVE TO PUNISHMENT IS REWARD
- THE TWO REASONS A CHILD MISBEHAVES
- WHY GIVING REWARDS WORKS
- NEGATIVE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- CATCHING YOUR CHILD BEING GOOD OR DOING THE RIGHT THING
- THE MAGIC OF REWARDS
- WHY CHILDREN RESIST OUR DIRECTION
- UNDERSTANDING REWARDS
- REWARDS ACCORDING TO TEMPERAMENTS
- SAMPLE REWARDS
- ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING UP YOUR SLEEVE
- A LIST OF REWARDS
- RECURRING PATTERNS
- REWARDING TEENAGERS
- DEALING WITH A DEMANDING CHILD IN PUBLIC
- REWARDS ARE LIKE DESSERT
- LEARNING FROM NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
- THE FEAR OF REWARDS
- 7 New Skills for Asserting Leadership
- LEARNING HOW TO COMMAND
- DON ’T USE EMOTIONS TO COMMAND
- IT ’S OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES
- WHEN EMOTIONS ARE NOT HELPFUL
- YELLING DOESN ’T WORK
- MAKE YOUR COMMANDS POSITIVE
- COMMAND BUT DON ’T EXPLAIN
- COMMANDING TEENAGERS
- REASONS AND RESISTANCE
- A BETTER WAY OF COMMANDING
- INCREASING COOPERATION
- CHOOSING YOUR BATTLES
- 8 New Skills for Maintaining Control
- THE NEED FOR TIME OUT
- HOW NEGATIVE FEELINGS GET RELEASED
- THE IDEAL TIME OUT
- EXPLAINING TIME OUTS
- FOUR COMMON MISTAKES
- HUGGING DAD
- ADJUSTING YOUR WILL VERSUS CAVING IN
- WHEN TO GIVE TIME OUT
- THREE STRIKES AND YOU ARE OUT
- WHEN TIME OUT DOESN ’T WORK
- WHAT MAKES THE FIVE SKILLS WORK
- 9 It ’s Okay to Be Different
- GENDER DIFFERENCES
- DIFFERENT NEEDS FOR TRUST AND CARING
- CONTINUING TO TRUST AND CARE
- BOYS ARE FROM MARS, GIRLS ARE FROM VENUS
- MR. FIX-IT
- MRS. HOME IMPROVEMENT
- WHEN ADVICE IS GOOD
- BOYS FORGET AND GIRLS REMEMBER
- DIFFERENT GENERATIONS
- THE CULTURE OF VIOLENCE
- DIFFERENT TEMPERAMENTS
- HOW TEMPERAMENTS TRANSFORM
- AFTERNOON ACTIVITIES
- DIFFERENT BODY TYPES
- DIFFERENT INTELLIGENCE
- Academic Intelligence
- Emotional Intelligence
- Physical Intelligence
- Creative Intelligence
- Artistic Intelligence
- Intuitive Intelligence
- Gifted Intelligence
- DIFFERENT SPEEDS OF LEARNING
- GOOD HERE BUT NOT GOOD THERE
- COMPARING CHILDREN
- 10 It ’s Okay to Make Mistakes
- FROM INNOCENCE TO RESPONSIBILITY
- WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY?
- LEARNING RESPONSIBILITY
- HARDWIRED TO SELF-CORRECT
- YOUR CHILD ’S LEARNING CURVE
- UNDERSTANDING REPETITION
- LEARNING FROM MISTAKES
- LEARNING TO MAKE AMENDS
- DON ’T PUNISH, MAKE ADJUSTMENTS
- HOW TO REACT WHEN CHILDREN MAKE A MISTAKE
- DOING YOUR BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH
- WHEN IT IS NOT OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES
- HIDING MISTAKES AND NOT TELLING THE TRUTH
- CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS
- NOT SETTING HIGH STANDARDS OR TAKING RISKS
- JUSTIFYING MISTAKES OR BLAMING OTHERS
- TEENS AT RISK
- LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-PUNISHMENT
- MAKING IT OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES
- 11 It ’s Okay to Express Negative Emotions
- THE IMPORTANCE OF MANAGING FEELINGS
- LEARNING TO MANAGE FEELINGS
- COPING WITH LOSS
- WHY EXPRESSING EMOTION HELPS
- THE POWER OF EMPATHY
- THE FIVE-SECOND PAUSE
- WHEN CHILDREN RESIST EMPATHY
- WHEN PARENTS EXPRESS NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
- THE MISTAKE OF SHARING FEELINGS
- ASKING CHILDREN HOW THEY FEEL
- WHAT YOU SUPPRESS, YOUR CHILDREN WILL EXPRESS
- THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY
- MAKING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS OKAY
- 12 It ’s Okay to Want More
- THE FEARS ABOUT DESIRE
- THE VIRTUES OF GRATITUDE
- PERMISSION TO NEGOTIATE
- LEARNING TO SAY NO
- TEN WAYS TO SAY NO
- ASKING FOR MORE
- MODELING HOW TO ASK
- THE POWER OF ASKING
- GIVING TOO MUCH
- CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS WANT MORE
- CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS
- THE LONGING OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT
- 13 It ’s Okay to Say No, but Mom and Dad Are the Bosses
- HOW PARENTS AFFECT THEIR CHILDREN
- COPING WITH NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
- THE DEVELOPMENT OF COGNITIVE ABILITIES
- CHILDREN ’S NEED FOR REASSURANCE
- CHILDREN HAVE A DIFFERENT MEMORY
- COPING WITH INCREASED WILL
- BALANCING FREEDOM AND CONTROL
- TWO PROBLEMS OF LOSING CONTROL
- THE NINE-YEAR STAGES OF MATURITY
- THE DEVELOPMENT OF RESPONSIBILITY
- UNDERSTANDING THE GENERATION LINE
- DIVORCE AND THE GENERATION LINE
- CONTROLLING YOUR PRETEENS AND TEENS
- USING THE INTERNET TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION
- GETTING SUPPORT FROM OTHER PARENTS
- 14 Putting the Five Messages into Practice
- MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS
- FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS
- MOTHERS AND SONS
- FATHERS AND SONS
- TEENS SECRETLY APPRECIATE LIMITS
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD TAKES DRUGS
- DEALING WITH DISRESPECTFUL LANGUAGE
- PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY
- MAKING DECISIONS
- THE CYCLES OF SEVEN
- WHY TEENS REBEL
- IMPROVING COMMUNICATION WITH TEENS
- RESPECT YOUR TEEN ’S OPINIONS
- SENDING YOUR TEEN AWAY
- INSTEAD OF “DON’T” USE “I WANT”
- ASKING YOUR CHILDREN WHAT THEY THINK
- THE CHALLENGE OF PARENTING
- THE GIFTS OF GREATNESS
- A b o u t t h e A u t h o r
- Credits
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
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