Confessions of a GP

Passing judgement

I know I can appear judgemental in my description of some of my patients. I don’t mean to be. I try to treat all my patients equally and fairly. If I’m judgemental at times I think that it is not because I’m a doctor but simply because I’m human.

As a doctor, it can be difficult not to allow my own personal morals to reflect on how I view and treat a patient. For example, one morning I spent a long, tearful consultation with a lovely couple in their late thirties who had just failed in their fifth attempt at IVF. They had run out of money and hope and were emotionally distraught at the recognition that they would never conceive their own children. Later that morning, a woman came in requesting her fifth abortion. I don’t have any ethical problem with abortions, but I did find myself judging her. Did she realise how hard it was for some people to conceive? Did she consider how much it cost the NHS each year to perform so many abortions? Contraception is free and readily available in this country. How could she have been so careless so many times?

I also found myself feeling very judgemental during a child protection case conference. I was in a meeting with social workers, health visitors and other professionals discussing what should be done with an unborn baby belonging to one of my patients. I knew the mum-to-be well and, quite frankly, I thought she would make an absolutely terrible mother. She was rude, aggressive and always in trouble with the police. The dad wasn’t on the scene and her own family had disowned her. I just didn’t believe that she was the right person to give that baby the best start in life. Everyone in the meeting was very professional and positive. They were looking to implement extra support for the mum to help her with her new baby. I tried to be positive, too, and I do think kids are best off with their real parents, but a big part of me wanted to take that baby away at birth. I wanted to give him to the nice couple who kept failing with the IVF. I just felt that the child would have a better future with them than with its real mother.

Deep down I knew that I had no right to pass judgement on who would make better parents. I see my patients for ten minutes at a time and don’t have the right to decide if someone should have their child taken away. What do I really know about parenting anyway? Would I like someone passing judgement on what sort of dad I am? Back at the case conference we all agreed that once born, the baby would be put on to the child protection register but stay with the mum and be closely monitored. I hoped I’d be proved wrong and that the new mum would do a great job. I know it is not my place to judge my patients but it can be very difficult sometimes.