Confessions of a GP

Tariq

I found my first few consultations with Tariq frustrating. I struggled to understand his English and he never seemed to have much physically wrong with him. The consultations were always a bit disjointed and he always seemed reluctant to leave. Another wasted consultation, I would think to myself as he finally left my room.

Gradually, after his first few visits, Tariq began to open up to me. He was in his mid-twenties and had been tortured in a Sudanese jail after being arrested for political activity at his university. He had arrived here hidden in a lorry and was currently seeking asylum. He lived in a homeless hostel with mostly alcoholics and heroin addicts and spent his days aimlessly wandering the streets of the town centre. He was the sort of person I might walk past every day without noticing, but behind the sad tired face was a brilliant mind and a man desperate to work, study and make the most out of his life. Unfortunately, because of his asylum-seeking status, he was not entitled to do any of this. Instead, he looked enviously at the alcoholics and junkies that he lived with, knowing that as British citizens, if they so wished they could work, study and do many things that he was not entitled to do. Despite being understandably miserable here, Tariq was terrified that he would be tortured and killed if he returned to the Sudan, so he was stuck between an unpleasant rock and a horrifying hard place.

After his third or fourth visit, Tariq confessed to me that in the space of a whole week I was the only person he spoke to. If I wasn’t a GP, I would not believe that in a busy cosmopolitan city a man could spend weeks passing the time without conversing with a single soul. Most people avoid seeing their doctor if they possibly can, but for Tariq, I was his only outlet to the rest of the world. I was the only person to whom he could talk about his feelings or even make small talk about the weather. In between my consultations with Tariq I spoke to many hundreds of people. I talked to work colleagues, friends and family, even the monosyllabic blokes I play football with. Tariq talked to no one. This must be torture for an intelligent, articulate and sociable young man.

In the soap opera that was Tariq’s life, I was not just a walk-on part or an insignificant extra. For Tariq, I was the only other character in this episode of his life and was really quite important to him. Tariq had absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, yet my role as his doctor was vital and unique. He trusted me and I listened to his problems. He confided in me awful things that happened to him in his past and, more mundanely, I helped him fill out forms to aid his housing and finances. Helping Tariq wasn’t putting my medical degree and years of training to great use, but my title as doctor and the ability of the NHS to make me available free of charge enabled me to reach out to another human and make a huge difference to his life. I have stopped grumbling that I’m overqualified to help someone fill in a form and instead appreciate the honour and privilege it is to be able to call myself a doctor working in the front line for the NHS.