Eeny Meeny

84

Everyone has a tipping point. A line that must not be crossed. I was no different. Had the stupid bastard been sensible then none of this would have happened. But he was dumb and greedy and that’s why I decided to kill him.

I was a wreck by this point. I’d given up on life – I knew that it was my lot to be damaged and discarded. I’d made my peace with that – after all, that’s what happened to the girls I knew. None of them made it out the other side. Look at my mother – a sorry fucking excuse for a person. She was a doormat, a punch bag, but worse than that she was an accomplice. She knew what he was doing to me. What Jimmy and the rest were doing to me. But she did nothing. She ignored it and just carried on. If he kicked her out, she’d probably die in the streets, no one else would have her. So she took the easy way out. If anything I hated her more than I hated him.

At least that’s what I thought until that day. When I saw him come into our bedroom and hesitate. Normally he just charged in and took his fill – he liked things to be brief and violent. But that day he paused and, for the first time, his gaze drifted to the top bunk.

I knew what that gaze meant, what evil thoughts were spinning round his head. Strangely, he backed off, walked out. Maybe wasn’t quite ready to go there yet. But I knew it was only a matter of time. And in that moment my mind was made up.

I decided there and then that I was going to kill the fucker.

And what’s more I was going to enjoy doing it.