Every Boy's Got One

Travel Diary of Jane Harris

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Why are men—and boys—so weird?

I mean, they certainly LOOK nice enough, for the most part. Cal Langdon, in particular, though it GALLS me to admit it. I mean, look at him, sitting there in that lounge chair, with the sunlight winking off the drops of water still clinging to his golden body hair.

Oh my God, I can’t believe I wrote the words golden body hair .

Still, not like he’s got so much of it. Just enough, really.

Just enough to make me wonder how much more he’s got, you know, below the waistband of his shorts.

I can’t believe I wrote that EITHER!!!

Still. It doesn’t matter how good they look—and just how, I’d like to know, does a guy whose job entails sitting behind a desk, typing stuff, get such defined biceps?—men are still weird.

Seriously. Just look at what they’re doing now. The Modelizer, Mark, and Peter are having this totally in depth—and boring—conversation about the Hubble space telescope and dark energy—whatever that is—and they are WAY into it. I mean, as much into it as Holly and I get when we’re talking about ER .

They’re going on about how dark energy—whatever it is— fills up most of the universe, along with dark matter, and how no one knows what either of those things is (which is a bit of a relief, since, um, I was thinking I’d missed something), but they seem to think it’s responsible for the anti-gravitational force that is causing the universe to expand, rather than contract, the way everything else does, when gravity pulls on it.

Hello. Don’t they realize they’re in ITALY? Can’t they shut up for FIVE MINUTES and enjoy the way the light is trickling through the green leaves as the sun sinks down, dappling the pool and veranda in golden half-light? Or the way the setting sun seems almost to create a mist across the patch worked hills, making them seem blurry to the eye—except for where the outbuildings on them are silhouetted against those great big purple clouds built up behind them, the aftereffects of a fleeing storm?

THAT’s what they should be talking about. The miracles of nature right in front of them. Not some stupid dark energy, billions of miles away.

Oh, great. Those clouds, that I thought were fleeing? They’re headed this way. It’s going to rain in a second.

Aw, screw it. It’s time for dinner anyway.

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