Still Human

Chapter Twenty-two Liv I promise not to go up any more ladders.

I laugh hysterically when we walk through the deserted diner and see the cars that are here to collect us. A traditional London black cab for the mums and a vintage yellow NYC chequered cab for Jen and Grace.

Ali locks up behind us and she and Carla jump in the car with Ali’s boyfriend.

Max and I wait on the curb as the cars pull away.

“Did you close the diner?” I ask with mock disapproval.

“Sack me.” Max shrugs. I laugh.

Just then a throaty roar can be heard and I look up to see a Mustang approach. I look at Max aghast.

“That’s not…?” I stutter.

“No,” confirms Max.” “Hired for the day, but he thought it would be a fitting tribute as she paid for the whole thing!”

I look up and down the car as it pulls up beside us. It’s unbelievable, the colour, every detail. It could be the same car.

“The whole day?” I ask just realising what Max said.

“It could have paid for it ten times Liv.”

I whistle.

Max offers me his elbow to help me into the car, this is when I realise that he is escorting me. I panic slightly, what about Dave? He gave Grace away, won’t he be upset? Before I get to articulate any of this, I shut it down. Danny will have it all covered.

While we’re driving along, I start to get twitchy about where we’re going. I haven’t ever thought about getting married it’s true, but I definitely know I would have a hard time settling for a hotel with a per head price, drab decor and mediocre food. I try not to let this play on my mind. I know from when Max and Charlie got married, there’s not much around to satisfy us, which is maybe why we run the type of place we do. If it was my choice, I know what I would do, but Danny is in charge of this. Whatever he has chosen, I’m sure I’ll love it.

Max shifts in his seat beside me and I see him pull an envelope from inside his suit jacket. “This is the last one,” he says, handing me Danny’s note. I start to shake inexplicably. I know it won’t be bad, but I can’t cry here, I can’t. My makeup can’t be redone again. “Don’t worry,” says Max, seeing my panic. I open the envelope cautiously.

Dear Liv,

I hope you like everything. I’ve had the most fun getting this day ready for you!

This wedding that I’ve planned for us is exactly how I’ve always seen us promising each other, in front of everyone, that we will love each other forever. But because I really wanted to surprise you, I'm afraid it isn’t going to be legal. I’ve really battled with this, but I really wanted to do this for you, so I decided to risk it. After we have done this today, you will be my wife and I will be your husband. But we will still need to go and get the paperwork done. Today is your birthday, but it will also be our anniversary for evermore, no matter which day we get the stamp on the certificate.

Everything about today will look and feel real and only you and I (Max, Charlie, Jen and Scott!) will ever know any different. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but they make you attend in person to apply to get married! Bastards!

We’ve come such a long way to get here, I can hardly believe it’s real. I can’t wait to see you and, just so that you know, because I know I’ll be too emotional to say it when you arrive…you look beautiful (I know this without even seeing you!) and I love you with all my heart…

D x

I take a shuddery breath and Max offers a tissue, but I hold my hand up and smile, shaking my head. “I’m good.” He has done an amazing thing. I wouldn’t care if we were never actually legally married. I never did. As long as we have each other, that’s all I want. Now I just can’t wait to get to wherever we’re going, I need to be with him.

When the car pulls into the park, I look questioningly at Max. He shakes his head and I don’t ask. The car stops and Max jumps out. He opens my door and helps me out. Then he offers me his elbow. “Shall we?”

I can’t think anything except ‘we’re at the park’ but I take his arm and follow him. We start down the shaded path and an arrow staked in the ground points the way. As we follow a trail of white petals along the edge of the footpath it suddenly dawns on me where we’re going, even though I’ve figured it out, I can’t help the gasp when our tree comes into view.

Everyone we know is seated in a semicircle around our beautiful tree and standing in front of them is Danny. He looks amazing! Scott is beside him and I see him squeeze Danny’s shoulder and tell him I’m here. Danny slowly looks up and his eyes meet mine. It’s like no one else is here. Like we are kids again, meeting at our place to hide from everyone else. Right from the moment I met him, he was all I ever needed and this place is the symbol of that. It was just ours. A secret forever. Now he’s chosen to share our secret with everyone, because it means so much to us.

“This is it,” Max whispers excitedly as he stops us at the top of the aisle in the middle of the seating. “Well done, you made it!”

I clasp his arm tightly. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too.”

That’s when music starts, I couldn’t tell you what it was though. I’m more or less unable to process anything as, in slow motion, Max steps forward, leading me and then kissing my hand, he passes me to Dave who is waiting at the end of the aisle with a huge smile. I’m only vaguely aware of any of this, because at this precise moment all I can see is Danny. He stands at the front, watching me intently. His face full of emotion. We inch our way towards him. All else has faded from my consciousness. All I see is him.

Once I reach his side, Dave kisses my cheek and steps away to join my mum, Danny takes my hand and I breathe again. Although it has only been a few hours that we have been apart, it feels like forever, as if I’ve just completed the longest journey imaginable and finally reached my goal. Danny shuts his eyes tightly before returning them to me. He smiles.

“You're beautiful,” he whispers and I can tell that he has only just managed to get that out. I won’t be so successful holding it together if I try to speak, so I squeeze his hand and smile.

A smart lady at the front clears her throat and draws our attention. She begins by introducing herself and welcoming the guests. I’m vaguely aware of the people behind me, but I can’t look now. Instead I look down at my feet and that's when I notice Danny's Converse, crisp and new and black just like Max's. A stupid grin threatens to grip me and derail the moment, so I keep my eyes low. But Danny's fingers brush mine to get my attention so I have to look up at him. Frowning at not knowing what I'm finding funny, he holds my gaze. I mouth 'It’s perfect' and he’s almost bashful and looks away. I squeeze his fingers to force him to look back. 'I love you,' I mouth. His eyes fill with tears and suddenly I fear we are both going to crumble in front of everyone.

“In normal circumstances,” the celebrant says, interrupting our silent torment, “I would have got to know the couple before me already. But I understand that this is no ordinary couple.” A ripple of laughter comes from behind me and I smile that she has rescued us. “When I meet a couple I am to marry, it’s quite normal to hear most of the information from the excited bride, while the groom takes a back seat. However, I’ve had the privilege of dealing solely with the groom on this occasion and it has been wonderful to learn about the love they have for one another through his eyes.”

Okay, I’m going to cry! I’m very grateful that the last thing Max did was press a folded tissue into my hand as he kissed it.

She goes on to say some touching words about our friendship as small children and how it blossomed into love in our teens. She speaks about our separation, glossing over the gut-wrenching heartbreak, instead issuing wise words about sometimes needing a second chance, because sometimes we are not ready when fate hands us the first chance. I dab my eyes throughout. She enthusiastically describes how we reconnected. Again managing to side-step all talk of the devastating break-up, but making sure she covers the point that we were so in love that our fear of losing each other again almost threatened our future. Then she rounds off her brief history by saying that we have learned from the troubles we’ve had, never to underestimate each other’s love and commitment. It’s all just perfect.

“Now the bride’s best friend, Max, would like to read a passage.” I watch Max come to stand at the front and unfold his paper, I marvel at how calm he looks. He faces the audience, but turns his stare to us, as he confidently recites the words without once looking at the page.

It’s a beautiful passage by Richard Bach. I almost read it at his wedding, but we found something more appropriate for them. But it suits Danny and me perfectly. It’s about keys fitting locks and when we feel safe enough to open the locks we can be who we truly are. I’m not completely taking it in right now, but I can remember thinking it was beautiful.

Every one claps as Max sits back down. I wipe my eyes as delicately as I can. Then we move into the formal part of the ceremony.

She asks us the important questions… “Daniel, will you take Olivia to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”

“I will,” replies Danny, never taking his eyes from mine. A shiver runs down my spine. I want to look away, it’s too emotional, but he wants our eye contact, it’s important and if he can do it, so can I.

“Olivia, will you take Daniel to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

“I will,” I reply, expecting to be overcome with emotion as soon as I try to speak. Instead I feel a thrill of excitement. We are really doing this and nothing is stopping us, not the universe, not psycho exes, not even our own insecurities.

“Will you, the friends and family of Daniel and Olivia, support and uphold them in their marriage, now and in the years to come?”

“We will.” They all answer collectively and I physically feel their warmth and love as they speak.

Danny and I are asked to hold hands and face each other. “Olivia, Daniel hopes you won’t mind that he has made the vows more personal for you.” Danny grins sheepishly. Then she recites his vows and he repeats them, line for line.

“I, Daniel, take you, Olivia, to be my wife.

To love you from this day forward, as I’ve always loved you in the past,

For better, for worse and all that other stuff that doesn't matter as long as we are together.

I promise to be honest with you and never doubt your love for me, whatever life throws at us.

I will always support your individuality and be grateful you don’t like Jimmy Choos.

I promise to be your tech-support, watch chick flicks with you and rub ointment on your new tattoos.”

We all giggle. A big, fat tear rolls down my face, I hope this mascara holds up. Then he takes a deep breath and finishes with a line that threatens to send me over the edge into a sobbing mess.

“Like this tree, we stumbled and fell, but something so strong cannot be wiped out in one moment.

I’m always rooted here with you and together we are too strong to fade away.

I promise we will continue to grow together even if there are more storms to come.”

I just manage to hold it together, I don't know how. Most people here won’t understand the reference, but I’m so glad he included it. Those words are so special to us.

I wonder what I will have to say? Danny winks, knowing I’ll think it’s funny. Then it's my turn to repeat the words.

“I, Olivia, take you, Daniel, to be my husband.

To love you from this day forward, as I’ve always loved you in the past,

For better, for worse and all that other stuff that doesn't matter as long as we are together.

I promise to be honest with you and never doubt your love for me, whatever life throws at us.

I will always let you do things for me, even though I’m a control freak.

I won’t object if you decide to restore another classic car and I promise not to go up any more ladders.”

Waiting for the laughter to settle before she continues, the celebrant has no idea that she is letting my poor, frayed emotions build up before I say the very thing I'm not sure I can say out loud. I inhale a calming breath as she says it first, then I release it before I speak.

“Like this tree, we stumbled and fell, but something so strong cannot be wiped out in one moment.

You are always rooted here with me and together we are too strong to fade away.

I promise we will continue to grow together even if there are more storms to come.”

I finish my vows, in pieces obviously, but grinning at Danny’s cuteness along with everyone else. He looks so pleased with himself.

Next the rings are presented by Scott who stands behind Danny. The celebrant asks us to hold both hands in front of us while she reads the Hands Ceremony. Whatever that is…it sounds American.

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you build your future together. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”

When she says that thing about holding our children, my insides literally clench. Now that it’s in our immediate future, I’ve begun to feel it like a dull ache, which flares up whenever my attention is drawn to it. I never saw myself this way, but the reality of making a family with Danny has had a strange effect on me. She turns to Danny and offers my ring. He places it on my finger and repeats the words she reads.

“I give you this ring as a symbol of my commitment to you. It has no beginning and it has no end. Let it always remind you of my infinite love for you.” Danny slides a perfectly plain platinum band onto my finger and I smile. It will look just right with my far from plain engagement ring once I put it back on after this.

Then we repeat the process and I say the same words, sliding a matching ring onto Danny’s finger.

Then the moment we’ve been waiting for.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Danny leans in to kiss me and everyone cheers.

Then in a whirlwind, we sit and sign some kind of declaration that I know is not the legal stuff, but it’s for appearance, I love him for the lengths he has gone to. Max and Jen witness. Some photos are taken, but it’s a bit of a blur.

The next thing I know, drinks have appeared from somewhere and everyone is milling around chatting. I’m scanning the scene and taking it all in, when my hand is taken and Danny pulls me quickly beneath the tree’s canopy.

He presses me against the reclining trunk, exhaling a deep shuddering breath as his lips find mine. He kisses me with more passion than I’ve ever been kissed. To start with it’s almost violent, but as we melt into it, it becomes a more loving passion. He draws away reluctantly and grins.

“Happy birthday, Mrs. Morgan!”

I laugh. “Thank you, Mr. Morgan.”

“You look amazing.” He adds stepping back to look me up and down.

“I’ve a great stylist.” I grin pulling him back to me. “You look pretty good yourself.” I murmur, bringing his lips to mine again, this time for a heart-stoppingly tender kiss. I pour everything I feel at this perfect moment into it.

“I’ve missed you today,” I whisper. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“It was so hard leaving you asleep this morning.”

“But it was so worth it.” I sigh. “Thank you doesn’t seem enough for what you’ve done.”

He gives me his shy smile. “Sorry it isn’t official.” He shrugs. “I just got this whole surprise idea in my head and then I got so far and found I couldn’t do it legally.”

“Danny, its fine, I don’t care if we never do it. This is enough for me.”

“Oh hell no! We are doing it in two weeks, don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.”

I laugh, of course he has it all planned. “I love you.”

“Oh my God, I love you too.” He lunges at me again. Holding his hands tight to my back, I can feel that he wants to run them all over me, but I’m so made up and literally everyone we know is on the other side of a thin covering of leaves. He forces himself away before it’s too much.

“Shouldn’t we get out there?” I ask.

“Screw them.” He laughs and then sighs, knowing I’m right.

We slip as discreetly as possible into the throng, but straight away we garner suggestive comments and raised eyebrows for our absence.

“I just needed a moment alone with my wife,” exclaims Danny loudly, attracting even more attention and everyone laughs and makes ‘aw’ noises or other more suggestive things.

“We need to get out of here,” Danny murmurs in my ear and starts to lead me towards the path we came in.

Why are we leaving everyone behind? Where are we going? How will they all get there, wherever it is? As if I’m broadcasting these question buy loud speaker, Danny says, “Try not to ask.” I flash him a ‘give me a break, I need to know something’ look and he chuckles. “All will be revealed.”

He takes my almost empty glass from my hand and hands me my bouquet, then taking my hand, he leads me back up the footpath. No one follows us. I laugh out loud, as I’m faced with two old Route Master buses, marked ‘Wedding Special’. But as I walk towards them Danny holds me back.

“They’re not for us,” he says. Leading me past the first bus to where the Shelby is waiting.

“Danny, where are we going?” I beg as the Shelby pulls out of the car park, leaving the buses behind, waiting for their passengers.

“You’ll see.” I huff beside him. “I hope you like it…I just thought that the whole hotel thing wasn’t really our scene. You don’t want a stuffy three-course meal with half a bottle of wine per head do you?”

I shake my head, wondering how I managed to find someone who just got it.

“So, I have something better lined up.”

We chat about the day so far as the car whizzes along, but I’m barely concentrating, trying to imagine our destination.

“This is eating at you isn’t it?” he teases.

“Stop it, Danny.” I sulk. “Just give me a hint.”

“Come on now, you just promised in front of everyone that you would let me do things for you, even though you're a control freak!”

I press my lips together, then we both burst out laughing.