Things my girlfriend and I have argued about (online version)

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A Few Concepts Margret Continues To Have Trouble Assimilating:

1. It's possible to stop buying plants.

2. Can you please leave me alone, I'm on the lavatory.

3. Ikea is just another shop.

4. I asked you if you wanted any, I asked you — now stop eating it off my plate.

5. One may have a thought and not say it. This does not make me insular, it merely separates me from you and that mad woman who's always shouting at the pigeons outside the supermarket.

6. They're just nail clippings. Nail clippings must be the most inert thing on the planet, how can anyone seriously have a problem with nail clippings? You might as well freak out with, 'Bleuuuurrggh — helium!' Really — just get a hold of yourself. So you've walked barefoot across the bathroom and you find this has resulted in a nail clipping or two sticking to the bottom of your foot; well, simply brush them off into the bin — they're just nail clippings.