AK 239: The Enemy Is Already Here

Ketchikan

Police Chief Robert Stone’s Diary

Yura has decorated our house for Christmas and she’s not even here to enjoy it.

I hate my job.

I can’t wait ’til I retire.

I’m moving somewhere warmer too!

So I’m sitting in my old, ripped, cloth recliner at home watching TV. I had forgotten how funny the movie Police Squad was:

“Bingo! That’s funny,” I say chuckling.

I look around my home and notice that nobody’s ever here anymore. Everybody’s working twelve-hour shifts.

I’ve really gotta retire.

The phone rings and I ignore it as I’ve just finished another twelve-hour day.

I continue watching Police Squad on TV but the phone just won’t leave me alone.

It begins ringing again and, annoyed, I finally walk to the area of the nuisance.

I have to rifle through a tall pile of unread newspapers!

Finally, I locate the annoyance stuffed down the side of my sofa and now, really annoyed, I answer:

“Hello!”

On the other end of the phone is Yura. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.”

I check my pockets and realize my cell phone isn’t on me.

“Guess I left my cell in the car,” I mumble.

“Tony is at Ketchikan Aviation. A guy over there says he just flew a couple of guys out fitting our man’s description,” says Yura.

“Where they goin’?” I ask.

“A fishing lodge twenty miles south of town,” says Yura.

“Have the pilot stall them.”

I exclaim: “And tell the Eskimo to fire up our plane!”

“That sounds so racist,” says Yura.

“Lighten up, he’s our son! Stone out.”

I toss the phone onto the couch; pick up my belt and gun, and head to my gun safe.

I open the large six-foot high safe and pull out a Springfield .308 semi-auto rifle and an ammo bag before heading out the door.

Outside it’s dark as I climb into this piece of crap SUV that the department owns.

Inside, I start it up as it sputters and pops. I back out of my driveway thinking:

If I moved to a beach in Barbados tomorrow, I wouldn’t miss this damp, musty old place.

I see this crazy Totem pole we have in our front yard that Yura has put Christmas lights on and think, It would kill Yura, a native Aleut, to move from her heritage and place of birth but I’m not sure how many more cold winters I can take.

Tony is on the two-way radio,

“A couple of suspicious looking guys were hanging around here on their phones.”

I say, “Are they Middle Eastern looking?”

“Ya, I think so. Want me to arrest them?”

Now I’m worried saying, “On what charge?”

A long pause before Tony answers, “I dunno.”

“We can’t arrest people that look Middle Eastern!”

Tony answers matter of fact, “Uh, okay.”

“Idiot!”

Tony yells, “I heard that!”

“Good! ’Cause you’re an idiot!”

“You raised me!”

“I’m an idiot too!”

Yura now chimes in, “Boys, boys, be nice to each other.”

After a really long pause Tony answers, “Okay mom.”

I just shake my head as I pull up to Ketchikan Aviation.

I step out of the car, close the door and start to walk away.

Suddenly, I realize I don’t have my cell phone.

Seeing it on the seat, I reach back inside, pick it up, and without looking, put it in my pocket. Then I head into the aviation building on the dock.