All the Rage

Adam Fawley
2 April 2018
11.24

I'm halfway home when I get the call. I curse under my breath when I see who it is. I promised Alex I'd be there to meet the health visitor, but I was rather hoping to get back to the office before any of the team realized I was AWOL. Some hope, clearly.

The line is breaking up but I can still just about hear.

`˜Sir? It's Tony Asante.'

I could have guessed it'd be him. He's been with us a few months now and thus far I can't fault him. Diligent, intelligent, technically excellent. He does what he's asked and he takes the initiative when he should. And yet there's something about him I just can't get a handle on, and I don't think the rest of the team can either. Every time I think I have him worked out, he manages to wrong-foot me. It's almost as if he's playing a role; going through the motions. As if his real agenda is elsewhere. Alex says he's probably just extremely ambitious and not very good at hiding it, and I suspect she has a point. It would certainly explain why Quinn has taken such an obvious dislike, and let's face it, he's not that good at hiding it either. But unlike Quinn, Asante seems to get on better with the women on the team than the men, which still isn't that common in this job. Perhaps it's just that, like them, he knows what it's like being in the minority.

`˜What is it, Asante?'

`˜Sorry to bother you, sir. I think I've found something.'

I frown slightly. `˜What `“ Douglas Appleford, you mean? You've tracked him down?'

A slight pause. Embarrassment or calculation?

`˜No. It's not that. Look `“ it'd be easier to explain face to face. I could come to you if you're off-site.'

Of course I'm bloody well `˜off-site'. He wouldn't be calling me otherwise.

I can hear the sound of traffic in the background; he must be on the street somewhere.

`˜I'm not in the office. I had to go home. Briefly.'

`˜That's Risinghurst, right? I can come there.'

I don't know why him knowing that annoys me, but it does. It's not as if people from the office haven't been to the house before. But not that often. And not since Alex has been pregnant.

`˜I'll only be an hour or so. Can't it wait till I get back?'

I hear the intake of breath. `˜Actually, sir, I don't think it can.'

* * *

`˜We drove off really fast. Not for long though `“ just a few minutes. Then we stopped again and he dragged me out of the back. First we were on something hard and then on grass `“ it was uneven and all squishy in the rain. I could feel my feet getting wet. And then he pushed me inside somewhere and I heard a door shut and it went dark.'

`˜It must have been completely terrifying,' says Somer softly.

Faith looks down, her lips trembling. `˜I thought he was going to kill me.'

There are tears spilling down her cheeks, and Somer reaches across the table and takes the girl's hands in her own. `˜You are being incredibly brave. Not much more, I promise.'

Faith takes a deep breath. `˜He pushed me on the floor. On my back. It was cold. Gritty. Then I felt him pulling my skirt up. I was screaming and kicking but he grabbed hold of my legs and held them down while he dragged off my knickers.'

The tears are falling fast now and her cheeks are red.

The two women exchange a glance. It's what they feared. And they have no choice: they have to press her.

`˜Faith,' says Somer gently, `˜I'm about to ask you something very sensitive. Very personal. I'm sorry I have to ask, and please believe me that I wouldn't if it wasn't absolutely necessary.'

There's a pause; she holds the girl's hands a little tighter. `˜Can you tell me `“ have you had gender reassignment surgery?'

Faith isn't looking at them. She shakes her head. `˜Not yet. Later, maybe.'

`˜Do you think the person who did this `“ do you think it's possible he knew?'

Faith looks up at them now. Her eyes widen. `˜You mean, was he surprised? You're actually asking me that?'

Somer feels her face flush hot. `˜I'm so sorry, Faith `“ I didn't mean that to sound as crass as it did. But you know why I'm asking `“ it would make a difference. To what sort of crime it was. To how we narrow down who might have done it.'

Faith wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. They wait, give her time. Somer can hear barking, somewhere outside. High-pitched. Petulant. Probably that bloody chihuahua again.

`˜Who else knows you're transgender, Faith?' says Everett at last. `˜Apart from your family?'

Her voice breaks a little. `˜No one here. I haven't told anybody.'

`˜Not even your friends? Your best friend?'

She looks away. `˜I don't want people looking at me and seeing a boy dressed as a girl. Staring at me trying to work out which bits give it away. I want them to see me.'

`˜What about where you used to live. Basingstoke, wasn't it? Did you keep in touch with anyone there?'

She shrugs. `˜I wanted to start again. Leave all that crap behind.'

She doesn't need to explain: both women can imagine what it must have been like.

Faith is fiddling with her necklace again, running her fingers along the letters of her name.

`˜It was a great choice,' says Somer, gesturing towards it. `˜It's a lovely name. Unusual.' She almost says like you, but stops herself. She'd have meant it as a compliment but it might not have sounded like that.

The girl blushes a little. `˜Mum would have liked Danielle. Or Dannii, like Dannii Minogue. She said it'd be easier if it wasn't such a big change. But I wanted it to be a big change. I wanted everything to be different.' There's pride in her face now. And defiance. `˜That's why I chose Faith. It was about being true to who I really am.'

`˜And there really isn't anyone in Oxford who knows?' says Everett. `˜No one who could have targeted you because of your past?'

Faith shakes her head, `˜No. No one.'

The two women are avoiding each other's eyes but they're both thinking the same thing. Was the attacker as convinced as everyone else by the way Faith looks? Or did he know her secret and target her for that very reason? Either way, does Faith know how close she came `“ how much danger she could have been in?

But the look on the girl's face answers that question. She knows full well. She's known all along. This is a reality she's lived with half her life.

`˜So can you tell us what happened next? After what you just told us?' Even Ev, who's been doing this sort of thing for years and has specialist training in dealing with the victims of sex crimes, shies away from the actual words.

Faith slips her arms round herself, pulling the jumper tighter. Her hands are shaking.

`˜Did he hurt you, Faith?' says Somer softly.

Faith shakes her head. `˜Not `“ like that. But I thought he was going to. I felt him coming close `“ I could hear the breathing and then he grabbed at my hair and it really hurt and I could feel some of the extensions ripping out and I started kicking again and I felt it `“ the knife `“ on my skin `“ running down my stomach `“ and `“'

She's crying again.

`˜It's OK, take your time.'

She blinks away the tears, wipes her eyes and looks up. Her lip is trembling but she holds their gaze. `˜I wet myself, OK? I thought he was going to hurt me `“ down there `“ and I wet myself.'

* * *