All the Rage

Adam Fawley
8 April 2018
11.46

`˜I'm Adam Fawley `“ they said my wife was here.'

I'm struggling to get the words out, my heart is racing so hard I can hardly breathe, all the way in the car I've been telling myself `“

The nurse at the reception desk glances at me, then checks a list. `˜Oh yes,' she says crisply. `˜I think Dr Choudhury is in with her now. Hold on a moment.' She picks up a phone and dials a number.

My brain is in freefall `“ this woman, she's not meeting my gaze `“ she's not smiling, either `“ wouldn't she do that, if everything was OK `“ so does that mean `“

She puts the phone down. `˜Along the corridor on the right. Room 156.'

Alex is sitting up in bed, in a hospital gown. And for a moment, that's all I can see `“ her pale face, the tears welling in her eyes `“

`˜Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry.'

I don't know how I get to the bed because my legs have gone, my lungs are iron `“

`˜They called me `“ your office `“ they said you were there, that you collapsed `“ I told them they must be wrong `“ you weren't anywhere near that bloody office `“'

`˜Your wife fainted, Mr Fawley,' says the doctor quietly. I hadn't even registered he was there. I turn and face him.

`˜We've run some tests, just to be on the safe side, but for the time being everything looks fine.'

I stare at him like a dead man given a last-minute reprieve.

He nods. `˜The baby's fine. But your wife is going to have to take her own health much more seriously. Especially when it comes to eating properly and taking more rest.'

I grip Alex's hand. Her fingers are cold.

`˜Why on earth did you go in today? You never said anything about it this morning.'

`˜They were in a state `“ Sue rang me `“ I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

The tears spill over now and her face crumples. `˜And then it happened and I thought `“ I thought `“'

I pull her towards me and wrap my arms about her, stroking her hair. `˜It's OK. The baby's fine. You're fine.'

`˜What you need now, Mrs Fawley, is rest,' says the doctor. `˜And I need a quick word with your husband.'

`˜It's OK,' I whisper. `˜I'll be back in a minute. Just try to relax.'

Out in the corridor, Choudhury turns to face me.

`˜What you said in there `“ there's nothing wrong, is there? Nothing you're not telling me?'

He shakes his head. I think he's trying to look reassuring but it's not quite working. `˜We'll need to continue to monitor her blood pressure, but she's clearly extremely anxious and that's my principal concern at the moment. She's going to need complete rest, for at least the next two weeks. And absolutely no stress at all.'

`˜I have been trying `“'

`˜I'm sure you have. But you'll need to insist. I also spoke to your wife's GP. I gather she's received treatment for mental health issues before. Most recently in 2016.'

I look away, take a deep breath. `˜Our son `“ he committed suicide. It was hard on both of us. Especially Alex.'

`˜I see.' His voice is softer now. `˜And before that?'

`˜That was completely different. And it was more anxiety than depression.'

`˜What form did that anxiety take, do you remember? I know it was quite some time ago `“'

Of course I remember. How could I not bloody remember.

`˜Trouble sleeping, one or two panic attacks. Listlessness, that sort of thing.' I swallow. `˜Some nightmares.'

Waking up terrified and screaming, the sweat pouring from her, her eyes dilated like an addict's, clinging to me so hard she drew blood `“

`˜But it was nothing like this. Right now she's just worried about the baby.'

He's looking at me. I'm obviously not making myself very clear.

`˜That first time `“ there was a reason.'

* * *

`˜Shit, did that come out of the blue or what?'

It's Quinn. The team are gathered in the incident room.

`˜And Challow's absolutely sure?' asks Gis. `˜I mean, before we go crashing in like the bloody SAS?'

Gallagher sighs. `˜As sure as he can be. Both Diane and Nadine handled that bag.'

`˜So what's he saying?' says Somer. `˜That Faith's mother did that to her? That her own sister was capable of something so `“ so `“'

`˜We don't know they were involved,' says Gallagher quickly. `˜As at now, it's just a theory. It's possible `“ though admittedly extremely unlikely `“ that the attacker just happened to find a bag the Applefords had thrown away.'

But no one believes that, she can see it from their faces. Of course they don't.

`˜Well, there's one thing we do know,' says Baxter, `˜and that's Diane Appleford's whereabouts that morning. We know exactly where she was when her daughter was attacked, and it wasn't the allotments on the Marston Ferry Road. And what about the bloody van `“ how the hell did she get hold of that?'

Ev is shaking her head. `˜Never mind why `“ why on earth she would even `“'

`˜And Nadine's only fifteen,' says Quinn. `˜No way she was driving any sort of vehicle `“ van, car, SUV, Chieftain tank `“'

`˜She could have been with someone, though, couldn't she?' says Baxter, turning to him. `˜Not her mum `“ someone else `“ someone older who did the driving. And she could easily have taken a carrier bag from home.'

Ev's eyes widen. `˜You really think she could have done that? Jesus.'

Baxter shrugs. `˜How else do we explain it?'

`˜I could speak to the school?' offers Gis. `˜Make sure Nadine was definitely there that morning, like she said?'

`˜Yes, do that,' says Gallagher. `˜But discreetly, please. If this gets out, the whole bloody sky is going to fall in.'

* * *