All the Rage

Adam Fawley
11 April 2018
15.45

`˜You knew about the hairslide.'

Alex is staring at me, her face white to the lips.

`˜I remembered you wearing it. How it'd got tangled in your hair. And I remembered you shoving it in the side pocket of your bag. I thought, afterwards, how easy it would be to forget about something like that `“ how it might be weeks before you remembered it was there. Months, even.'

`˜Why didn't you say anything?'

`˜There was no way to be sure.' But the real truth is I didn't want to ask `“ didn't want to watch her face as she decided whether she was going to lie. Because by then I was already in love with her.

`˜And like you said, the longer it went on, the harder it got.'

`˜You could have lost your job.'

I take her hand. `˜I know.'

There's a silence.

`˜I was terrified,' she says, `˜all the way through the trial `“ I thought that barman at Kubla would say we were both there that night `“ that they'd find out I lied.'

I don't say anything. I don't tell her I spoke to him. That I squared it away `“ told him about the girl Parrie assaulted in Manchester `“ that Parrie might walk because we couldn't refer to it in court and we had precious little else. The man was ex-army; he understood. But Alex doesn't need to know about that. Not now.

`˜It was him,' she breathes now, her voice barely more than a whisper. `˜Parrie. I know it was him. I wouldn't have done `“'

She swallows, forces herself to continue; she's not looking at me. `˜I wouldn't have done what I did if I wasn't sure. Absolutely sure.'

`˜I know.'

She raises her eyes to mine. `˜You do understand, don't you? Why I did it? I had to stop him. The papers kept saying there was never any DNA `“ that he was too clever to leave any proof. That poor girl who killed herself `“ she was scarcely more than a child. And then I found myself in that queue and I realized it was the same smell, and he was just standing there behind me like a normal person, but I knew, I just knew it was him, and I thought `“ this is my chance `“ this is my chance to make him pay `“'

I hold her hand tighter. Her fingers are icy.

`˜I thought it was all in the past `“ that it was over and done with and he'd got what he deserved, and over the years I managed to convince myself that it was OK. That any reasonable person would have done the same thing I did. And then suddenly you were telling me that he might get parole `“ that he might be let out `“ and it all started up again. I thought you were going to lose your job `“ that it would all come out and it would all be my fault, and I `“ I `“'

She's sobbing now. I pull her into my arms and kiss her hair. `˜Well, I didn't, and I'm not going to. It's over `“ really. Everything is going to be fine. You, me, our child. That's all that matters. And I promise you that nothing `“ nothing `“ is ever going to take that away.'

* * *

Fiona Blake is woken by the doorbell. She reaches blindly for the alarm clock `“ 7.35: she's been asleep less than an hour. Her eyes feel like they're opening into mud and her limbs are heavy but unstable, like wet cement.

They'd told her `“ the policewomen `“ that they'd do their best to keep the press away, but all the same it might be better if there was somewhere else she could go `“ someone else she could stay with. But she'd told them no. There was nowhere she wanted to go, no one she wanted to see. She just wanted to be left alone. She wanted them to leave her alone. She'd almost felt sorry for them, by the end, when she finally got the two of them out the door. Especially the pretty one. Somer or whatever her name was. She looked really upset. As if she'd known Sash `“ as if she could even begin to understand what it felt like now `“ to know that `“

The bell rings again. She rubs her face, feeling the skin coarse and unmoisturized under her fingers. She reaches for the dressing gown; it's the same one she's been wearing for days. Even she knows that it smells.

She daren't look at herself in the mirror by the front door, but she doesn't care. If there are bloody press out there, let them look. Let them see what it looks like `“ what it does to you to lose a daughter like that.

But it's not a journalist. It's Victoria Parker. She's holding a bunch of flowers in her hand. Lilies. Just like the ones her daughter brought. There's a sudden overwhelming wave of scent. Fiona feels nauseous.

`˜Mrs Blake `“ I mean, Fiona,' says Victoria, her voice dragging in her throat. Her face looks bleached, almost bruised. `˜I didn't know what to do. This is so awful `“ I just don't understand `“ they were all such friends `“ such great friends `“'

Victoria swallows. Her knuckles are white where she's gripping the lilies to her chest. A small part of Fiona's deadened brain notices the smear of orange pollen on her beige jacket. She'll never get that stain out now, she thinks. There are some things that can't be retrieved.

`˜I'm sorry,' says Victoria. She's blinking; too fast. Trying to push away the tears she knows this woman will not pity. `˜I'm just so very, very sorry.'

Fiona stares at her for a long long moment, and then, slowly and quietly, closes the door.

* * *

Daily Telegraph

13th February 2019

OXFORD TEENAGERS FOUND GUILTY OF `˜BRUTAL AND INHUMANE' KILLING

By Lisa Greaves

Four teenage girls were convicted at Oxford Crown Court today for the assault and murder of Marston teenager Sasha Blake. After an eight-week trial, Patsie Webb and Isabel Parker were found guilty of murder, and Leah Waddell of conspiracy to murder. A fourth girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was found guilty of Actual Bodily Harm. All four were fifteen at the time of the killing.

The court heard that Webb and Parker planned the murder for weeks, researching several similar crimes and focusing in particular on the 1999 conviction of Gavin Parrie, the so-called `˜Roadside Rapist'. Nicholas Fox QC argued that certain details of the `˜brutal and inhumane' killing of Sasha Blake were specifically designed to lead police to believe that the perpetrator was a copycat sexual predator. The girls even went so far as to carry out an almost identical assault on another young woman a few days before the murder, to lend weight to the deception.

Sasha Blake was lured into woodland off the Marston Ferry Road, in Oxford, on 3 April 2018, and submitted to a brutal beating by Webb and Parker which resulted in her death. The jury was told how Webb had developed an intense and irrational hatred for Blake, despite the fact that they had been friends since childhood. She also believed that her boyfriend, Ashley Brotherton, wished to finish their relationship and take up with Blake instead. Brotherton gave evidence in court about Webb's volatile temper, and described various threats she made against him in relation to his supposed attraction to Blake. Mr Fox told the jury that Webb had homed in on the Roadside Rapist case not only because the crimes had taken place in the Oxford area, but because Mr Brotherton was a plasterer, and she knew any forensic evidence transferred from his van would give the police further reason to believe the assaults were linked to the Parrie case. Several witnesses attested to her fascination with true crime TV programmes and investigative procedures.

Under questioning, Leah Waddell broke down in tears and claimed that she had been `˜bullied and intimidated' into going along with the plan, and Webb and Parker were `˜domineering': `˜I just couldn't say no `“ I was afraid of what they would do to me.' After Sasha Blake's death, Webb went to considerable lengths to divert attention away from herself and Parker, including planting condoms at the victim's house to lead investigators to believe she had a boyfriend. When she overheard a CID officer tell Mrs Blake that the police did not believe there was any connection between her daughter's death and the Parrie case, Webb came forward with another suspect, who was investigated but subsequently cleared of any involvement in the crime.

All four girls will be sentenced next month. Webb, Parker and Waddell are also due to face charges in relation to the earlier assault.

Posted 10.27 16 February 2019

Headshot, interior, direct to cam

Hi everyone. I realised this morning that it's six months since I started sharing my personal journey with you guys. I didn't have the courage to talk about that when I started my channel, and I don't think I ever would've without my awesome partner Jess, and my amazing mum, who's been through so much herself lately, but has always always been there for me and loved me for who I am. Getting a bit emotional now because it's been such an overwhelming few months, but I just want to thank both of them from the bottom of my heart.

And I want to thank you guys as well, especially all the hundreds and hundreds of new followers I've got since last summer. I've had so much amazing feedback from you guys `“ both from my fashion passionistas and all the trans girls who are following me now. I love you all and I am SO SO happy that my own experiences are helping other people to feel as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside.

Beckons to someone off-screen; Jess appears, smiling and waving. She's holding a cake with candles on it

So, that's it for today. A bit shorter than usual but it's Jess's birthday and we have a party to go to `“ yay!

This is Faith, signing off the same way I always have: Look good, be kind and love who you are.