Little Boy Blue

67

Helen barely registered the other road users as she biked back to Southampton Central. She was riding slowly for once – she needed to buy herself time to think. This case was becoming ever more complicated, with no immediate or obvious solution in sight. What had started as a terrible personal tragedy had grown into something darker and Helen now faced a fight on two fronts – bringing in a devious and elusive serial killer, while fending off the very real threat of exposure.

Strange to say, the latter terrified Helen as much as the former. Privacy and discretion had always been her watchwords – it was the only way she knew – but now she was backed into an impossible corner. It would not be easy to spike Emilia’s guns, nor tell what she might do with the information she now held close. Emilia would know that any attempt at extortion would be rebuffed – Helen would rather sacrifice her career than be turned – so what other option did she have but to publish? A detailed and lengthy exposé, highlighting the terrible conflict of interest that Helen had swallowed in the interests of gaining justice? Helen could well imagine how that story would play with the top brass.

Helen knew that there was only one possible solution, but still she recoiled from it. She had never wanted anyone to know her properly, never wanted anyone to get close to her. Her life was like it was for a reason. But the cat was out of the bag now and the only remedy was to confess, before Emilia beat her to the punch. The thought made her feel sick – how could she even find the words to begin? – and there was no question of her opening herself up for general entertainment. No, if she did this it would have to be targeted, controlled and brief. And it would have to be now – there was no telling what Emilia would do and Helen refused to be driven off this case by public outrage.

Leaving her bike in the Southampton Central car park, Helen stopped to look up at the windows above. There was no point putting it off.

It was time to talk to Gardam.