The Price of Butcher's Meat

2

Right, Mildred. This is the last time you and me are going to speak. Always sad to say good-bye, but let’s face up to it, this thing between us has run its course. Funny how things work out; first time I set eyes on thee, I thought, no way you’ll ever catch me whispering sweet nothings into that thing’s ear! Now I’m feeling like I’m going to miss you.

That’s why it’s time to end it, of course. I’ve got to admit I learned to enjoy it, but it’s too bloody dangerous to keep on with, as the vicar said to the verger’s wife as she pulled on his bell rope afore morning service. There’s stuff on here I don’t want any other bugger to hear-stuff I don’t much want to hear again myself!

So last time, last thoughts, last things.

All packed up and gone now, Pete and Wieldy and the rest of the whole traveling circus. Wasn’t till they’d all gone that I realized how much I were going to miss them. All this convalescing stuff’s fine, but I reckon if old Daph hadn’t got herself topped, with everything that followed, and I hadn’t got myself involved like I did, then likely I’d have taken another three weeks at least to get to where I am now.

Cap took a bit of persuading when she came down to see me on Thursday. Started reading the riot act when I said I’d handed in me notice and I was heading back home at the weekend. In the end I had to push her on the bed and show her how much better I was. I’m trying to think of Pet as a training session, getting me ready for the serious stuff again. Funny, ain’t it? Me looking for ways of justifying what I know were a rotten thing to do by any standards. At least Pet can claim she did it out of love-though mebbe there was also a bit of payback for Fester letting himself be tempted by the thrill of the Bannerjee Jump! Pet had to know about that. Nowt happens in these places that a good matron doesn’t know about!

Any road, at least it gave me the confidence to get back to close contact with Cap. Must have been back to my old form too, ’cos when we’d done she asked, What’s keeping you till Sunday? I told her I wanted to go to this Festival of Health opening ceremony and she wondered what the hell for? When I said I’d got to know a lot of the people involved and thought it ’ud be a nice time to say good-bye to them she gave me an old-fashioned look, so I had to take her mind off things again.

That at least convinced her my progress weren’t just a flash in the pan and, like me and her animal rights activities, she knows when not to keep coming with the questions.

Truth is, if she’d injected me with a truth drug, I’m not sure what answers she’d have got. It’s all finished here. Isn’t it? Pete’s come through with his halo just slightly bent. He’s played it exactly the way I forecast and now all he has to do is relax and take the applause. But nearly getting it wrong has really sharpened his already very sharp nose and he rang me to ask what I thought. Not that he said that’s why he were ringing. Just to keep me in the picture, and hope I got back to work soon. But we both knew he were asking if I thought he’d got it sorted now.

What the fuck could I say? Mebbe if I’d been Irish I could have said I wouldn’t have started off from here in the first place! Mebbe I should have said it’s like when you’re having a crap and you think you’re done, but summat deep inside tells you to stay put ’cos there’s more to come.

But what would have been the point? Loose ends? Never been on a case yet when there weren’t loose ends. We’re detectives, for Christ’s sake! Servants of the State, not instruments of God. One thing I’ve learned in all these years is, dealing with human beings, you never know everything, not even when you know everything there is to know. So I said, you’ve done well, lad. No trial, no comeback! Relax and enjoy it!

Can’t stop yourself thinking, but, as the minister said when he baptized twenty Girl Guides in the municipal swimming pool.

Thought I’d got meself under control till I went down to breakfast this morning and there was Franny Roote sitting chatting with some of the other inmates. He gave me a grin and a cheerful wave and I thought of picking up his wheelchair and hoying it off the terrace. Instead I waited till he came rolling up to me, as I knew he would, and I asked him what he’d got to look so happy about.

He said, “I don’t know, Andy. But somehow this feels like one of those days when anything’s possible. I’m sure you’ve had them, one of those days when you know the putts are going to drop, the conversion kicks are going to soar over the bar, the beer’s going to be at just the right temperature, and round the next corner you’ll bump into the girl of your dreams.”

He were right. I have had them. Those days when if you had any sense you’d raise every penny you could beg borrow or steal, and put it all on a horse you’d chosen by sticking a pin in a race card!

But this didn’t feel like one of them, not for me any road.

I said, “Hope you’re right, lad.”

And off he went, doling out yon Third Thought crap like a farmer with a muck spreader.

Leaving me thinking, There’s a loose end I’d love to tie up afore I leave here! Mebbe I’ll get him to himself later on at the Festival of Health opening ceremony and have a real heart-to-heart. One or two others I’d like a last word with, even if it’s only to say good-bye. They’ll all be there at Brereton Manor. Some I’ll kiss, some I’ll kick, likely there’ll be a bit of booze going, I feel up to supping my share this time so I must be getting better! Then first thing tomorrow morning Cap’s coming to collect me, and it’s good-bye, Sandytown!

One last thing is to clear all my recording from Mildred.

Let’s take a look…

Fuck! Bet it’s dead easy, but one thing cunning old Fester never told me was how to erase stuff. Got to be sure it’s all gone afore I give it him back. Mebbe I’ll just hang on to it, then take it down to the rugby club one Saturday night and get the lads down there to record fifty choruses of “The Indian Maid” over what I’ve said, then post it back to Fester!

Meanwhile Pet’s coming to pick me up any moment. Don’t want to risk losing this during the drunken orgies, so I’ll pop it back in the bog cistern for safety. Young Charley’s a whiz with electronics, I’ll have a word with her, she’ll likely know how to clear it.

Good-bye, Mildred. I’ve enjoyed it but we can’t keep on meeting like this.

Good-bye!