The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Analingus

Analingus, known more commonly as “rimming,” is stimulation of the anal area with the mouth and tongue—licking, flicking, nibbling, sucking, circling, and tongue-fucking. Many people love the simple pleasure of having their anus licked or licking a partner’s anus. Because the anal area is so full of nerve endings, even the tiniest sensations can register high on the turn-on meter.

A good way to introduce rimming is to begin by nibbling and licking your partner’s buttocks. As is true for other activities, it’s important to explore and pleasure the whole area, rather than diving right into the crown jewel. Once you’re ready to put your mouth on the anus, start out slowly.

Many people feel especially anxious about rimming because of the association between the anus and defecating; we learn at an early age that if something is dirty or smells bad, we shouldn’t put our mouth on it. Remember that there are normally only trace amounts of feces in the anus and anal canal. If you and your partner are especially concerned about cleanliness, your partner could have an enema. (Remember an enema should be done at least two hours before the sexual encounter). Aesthetically speaking, analingus need not be any more dirty or messy than cunnilingus. Some people find the anus disgusting or gross, just as some unenlightened folks find the vagina and clitoris unappealing. Yet many of us approach cunnilingus with desire and enthusiasm and feel the same about analingus. Keep in mind, however, that besides HIV and STDs, we come into contact with trace amounts of feces from the colon, which may carry parasites, hepatitis A, and other viruses.

Let your mouth, lips, and tongue explore your lover’s anus freely, and experiment with different techniques as you go along. Listen to your partner’s verbal and nonverbal responses and let those help to guide you. Some people like to really thrust their tongues in and out of their partner’s anus; you can penetrate your lover’s anus to ecstasy.

There are a variety of positions you can try for analingus. Some people like to lick their partner’s anus from behind in the “doggie-style” position, with the receiving partner on hands and knees. Others like to create a version of the sixty-nine position, so they can pleasure each other simultaneously. You can lick your partner’s anus from almost any position, including standing, sitting, or lying down. Experiment with what is most comfortable and pleasurable for both of you.

Rimming can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved, including the person giving the pleasure. Nina Hartley demonstrates in her anal sex video:

Analingus and Safer Sex

If you plan to venture around and inside the anus, and you are nonmonogamous, you should definitely practice safer sex by always using a barrier for anal contact. Rimming without a latex barrier is considered a high-risk activity for the transmission of STDs and HIV.

If you are monogamous or fluid-bonded, you may still wish to use a barrier. Some women and their partners choose not to, but be aware of the risks you are taking if you make that choice. Remember, fecal matter in the rectum and anal canal may contain hepatitis A, amoeba, parasites, intestinal viruses—all of which can infect you or your partner and make you sick.

A barrier can be a dental dam (a square of latex usually available where sex toys are sold), plastic wrap (like Saran Wrap), an unlubricated condom cut lengthwise, or a latex glove cut into a usable shape. Dab some lube on the side that covers the anus. Some people like to cut up latex gloves for analingus and cunnilingus because you can use one of the glove’s fingers to stick your tongue in (see figure 8).

If you’re not using a barrier, rinse thoroughly with mouthwash after rimming before putting your mouth elsewhere (like on someone’s vagina or penis) to prevent the spread of bacteria.