You Against Me

Twelve

‘A text from his sister?’ Jacko laughed so hard he nearly crashed the car. ‘Oh man, you kill me. You genuinely can get any girl you want!’

‘It doesn’t mean anything.’

‘Of course it does. Hey, let’s stick her in the boot of the car and send her brother a ransom note!’

Mikey shook his head, smiling. ‘What are you talking about? We’re not going to kidnap her.’

‘Listen, man, listen. Here’s what happens after that. The brother climbs into his Jag XJ to come and find her, but in his rage he forgets he’s got the supercharged version and goes roaring too fast at some corner. Wham! He hits a tree. Instant decapitation. Bits of his brain spattered all over the road.’ Jacko slapped the steering wheel. ‘That, my friend, is one beautiful revenge.’

They elaborated on the story as they drove through town, both of them doubled up with laughter as it got more and more ridiculous. They rammed Tom Parker’s dead head on a stick and paraded it down the high street, leaving his bereaved family to scrape the rest of him off the tarmac. Grateful townspeople lined the streets. Flags were waved in their honour, pub doors were flung open, girls threw knickers and phone numbers.

‘It’d be so cool!’ Jacko howled, his eyes watering. ‘We’ll take the hottest girls to the Prince of Bengal – best table and free rogan josh and poppadoms all night!’

‘Enough, enough!’ Mikey laughed. ‘Curry and love don’t mix, you know that. Come on, man, we have to stop this. We’ve got to get serious and think what to do.’

It was beautiful weather for March, the window was down, his elbow was stuck out in the wind. They passed a group of cyclists – tourists from the bike-hire place, probably cycling along to look at the lighthouse, or maybe further round the coast to the crazy golf and slot machines. It had been Mikey’s favourite outing as a kid – he and Karyn used to save up two pences until they had enough to make it worth getting the bus out there for the afternoon. Afterwards they bought ice cream and sat on the beach.

So, how could meeting Ellie Parker help Karyn? She’d be able to tell him stuff about her brother, where to find him alone, what his routines were. She didn’t know who Mikey was. She fancied him. That was a lot in his favour.

Maybe he could meet her more than once, use all that charm Jacko was always telling him he had. He’d do it properly, really romance her. Then, when she was completely under his spell and he’d got all the information he needed, he’d dump her.

Nobody needed to know. He wouldn’t tell Karyn or Mum. He’d make sure Ellie never found out who he was.

‘Pull in after the lights,’ Mikey said. ‘Then turn round at the garage.’

‘What’s going on? I thought we were doing a recce of the golf club.’

‘It’ll have to wait.’

‘I’m telling you, Tom Parker’s a golf freak. We just need to check out CCTV and escape routes and we’re laughing.’ Jacko swung an imaginary club high above his head. ‘We’ll kill him on the green with a five iron.’

‘I need to go back.’

‘Back where?’

‘I’m going to meet his sister.’

Jacko frowned. ‘We’re really going to kidnap her?’

‘We’re not going to do anything. I’m going to chat her up and get information out of her.’

Jacko lit a fag as they waited for the lights to change at the junction. ‘You go anywhere near that girl with your dick, Mikey, and hell is going to suck you under.’

‘I’m not going to shag her, I’m going to find stuff out.’

Jacko shook his head. ‘You won’t be able to help yourself.’

Mikey ignored him, texted, When?

The reply came flying back, Now.

‘That’s a bad sign,’ Jacko said.

Mikey texted, Where?

Again, the text came straight back: Cemetery.

Jacko frowned. ‘It’s a stitch-up. She knows who you are.’

‘No way. How could she?’

‘I’m coming with you.’

‘No, she’ll freak if she sees two of us.’

Anyway, the cemetery was fine, nobody would be there, no chance of being seen. She might not know who he was, but plenty of people round this part of town did. It only took one person to say something careless and she’d never open up.

Jacko riffed on about rubbish all the way there, told him that when Tom Parker had his way with Karyn he’d broken every rule in the book, which meant his blood relations were tainted by evil. Complained that he could have had a lie-in if he’d known Mikey was going to abandon him. Grumbled that his mother had offered to cook him a slap-up breakfast and he’d turned it down. Told him they should have contacted Woody, Sean and Mark, because Mikey would never dare duck out of a co-op mission.

By the time he’d pulled the car in to the side of the road near the church and put on the hazards, he was in a right sulk. ‘Just so you know,’ Jacko said, ‘I have a very bad feeling about this.’

‘I’m getting that. But trust me, I know what I’m doing.’

‘If you were capable of getting information out of this girl, you’d have done it already.’ Jacko checked his watch. ‘I’ll give you an hour. That café we passed – I’ll wait for you there.’

‘You’re gonna wait?’ Mikey leaned back and peered at Jacko. His work shirt was hanging over his jeans like always, his jacket, with its strange checked pattern, looked as geeky as ever and the expression on his face was only a fraction away from grumpy. But he was a true mate. Mikey wanted to give him something, but apart from a rollie, he didn’t know what.

‘I appreciate that,’ he said. It was all he could think of.

Jacko smiled reluctantly. ‘Go on, get out the car. I want my breakfast.’

It felt like a loophole in time opened up as Mikey walked through the wooden gate and into the churchyard. The lemon light seeping over the grass made him feel slightly sick, but this was a good plan.

It was an amazing plan, in fact.