You Against Me

Fourteen

Mikey sat on the edge of the sofa and tried to look normal. He stared at the carpet, then at the cop’s flat black shoes. He crossed his fingers and tried to think of something other than now, other than here. But the only things that came into his head were to do with this woman. What if she opened cupboards and searched around? Was she allowed to do that? Everything he’d shoved away that morning would fall on the floor at her feet – the dirty clothes and unwashed plates, the bottles and ashtrays and empty crisp packets. Things had got slightly out of control since Karyn stopped pulling her weight. What if this woman went upstairs and found Mum in her bed with the worst hangover of the year so far? Cops hunted for clues everywhere, didn’t they? Like sniffer dogs.

‘So,’ she said, ‘it’s a shame Karyn doesn’t want to come down and join us.’

‘Yeah, she’s not feeling well.’

He looked up and their eyes met. He knew he was blushing, knew she saw it happen. She glanced at her watch.

‘Do you think Mum will be much longer? Would you mind ringing her one more time?’

He should have thought more carefully before he said she’d popped to the shops. He should’ve come up with some story that involved her visiting a sick relative miles away. Ireland would’ve been safe. It took a whole day to get back from there.

‘Perhaps if she doesn’t answer this time, you could leave a message and ask her to call you back?’

He hated the sound of Mum’s messaging service. He’d rung it loads over the last few days, and every time she sounded very far away and absolutely like she didn’t give a shit. When she’d reappeared last night, he’d told her how pissed off that made him – to be left in charge with no idea where she was or if she was safe. She cried. She told him sorry. Same old story.

‘Hey, Mum, it’s me. Karyn’s policewoman’s here and wants to talk to us, remember? We’re sitting waiting for you, so can you hurry up?’ He slid the phone shut and forced a smile. ‘You could talk to me instead. I mean, if she doesn’t come back before you have to go. I can just pass it all on when I see her.’

The cop nodded. ‘There are some things I’d like to talk with you about, Mikey, but I also hoped to see Mum and Karyn. I wanted to explain to the whole family why I asked social services to get involved.’

‘You scared the hell out of Holly turning up like that last week.’

‘Yes, she opened the door and got upset. I’m sorry about that, but we did have an appointment, and Mum was aware of it. Didn’t she mention that to you?’

No, she bloody didn’t, and he couldn’t believe she’d managed to hide it. Maybe that was why she’d gone on a bender. She must’ve got freaked out by the cop grassing them up.

‘I’ve been working with Karyn for a while now, Mikey, and as I’m sure you’re aware, she often refuses to talk to me. She’s quite suspicious of the police, I think, and won’t let me put her in touch with other services, like counselling or a rape crisis centre.’

Mikey flinched at that word, hated it.

‘Over the weeks I’ve known her, I’ve begun to realize that perhaps there might be deeper issues within the family that are preventing her from moving forwards.’

‘Like what?’

‘It’s complex, Mikey, but to give you an example, I’ve noticed that Mum’s often asleep during the day, which means Karyn is alone a lot of the time. I’ve also noticed that Karyn takes on a lot of the care for her sister and feels obliged to help out with various domestic tasks such as cooking and cleaning that perhaps shouldn’t be her responsibility right now.’

‘She’s always done that stuff. She likes it.’

‘Maybe, but at the moment, it doesn’t feel as if she has much choice in the matter. So, I contacted social services to help me get a better picture of the family.’

‘You say Karyn’s suspicious of you, but you’ve made it worse. Spying on the rest of us isn’t going to make her trust you, is it?’

‘I have a duty to report things that are troubling, Mikey, and, to be frank, there are things in this family that I find concerning.’

‘Like my mum having a kip during the day?’

‘Not only that. Holly too.’

‘Holly? What are you worried about her for? She’s fine.’

‘She’s often not in school, Mikey, and when I contacted her teacher, I was told that when Holly does turn up, she’s often late, or else she’s collected late at the end of the day. Apparently she’s not had a book bag or PE kit with her for weeks now.’

‘You’re supposed to be here for Karyn. Why do you care about Holly forgetting her PE kit?’

‘I am here for Karyn, but I have to look at her situation in context. An eight-year-old not going to school rings alarm bells, Mikey.’

She liked nosing around is what she meant. Karyn should’ve kept her cop on a tighter leash, been nice to her, chatted her up, distracted her from the rest of them.

‘Is Holly in school today?’

The questions were starting. He had to concentrate.

‘Yeah, I took her.’

‘Well, that’s great. Is it usually you who takes her?’

‘It used to be Karyn, but now me and Mum take it in turns.’

Maybe if he promised to get Holly to school on time every day, this woman would get social services off their backs. He hated her being here, like some kind of bright needle in the lounge. If he got her on his side, if he made her think he was brilliant at everything, then maybe she’d go away and take all her nosy mates with her.

‘So,’ she said, ‘Mum’s picking Holly up later, is she?’

‘Yeah.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Listen, would you like a cup of tea?’

She smiled across at him. ‘That’d be lovely, thank you. Milk, no sugar, please.’

Well, that was a relief, since they didn’t actually have any sugar. He went round the corner to the kitchen, put the kettle on and swilled the last dregs of milk around the bottom of the carton. He gave it a sniff. It was just about OK.

He watched her as he waited for the water to boil, caught her eyeing up the cards and magazines Karyn had got from her mates, checking out the curtains and TV, making sure the DVDs weren’t all triple Xs.

The tea went well – the right colour and the milk didn’t do that disgusting floating thing. He took it through and put it on the table in front of her, then sat back down.

‘Thank you,’ she said. She took a sip and smiled. ‘Very nice.’

He nodded, wondered if he should tell her he was training to be a chef, but decided not to. It was probably best not to offer information. He’d only get himself in trouble.

They sat in silence for a minute as she drank her tea. It went on a bit long. Was he supposed to do something now, or say something? Was she expecting a biscuit? He felt the panic creep back. What if she asked for one? Could I have a biscuit please, Mikey? Like a test. Weren’t children supposed to have nice things to eat in their homes? What if having no biscuits made her suspicious and she asked to look in the kitchen? There was half a packet of out-of-date frankfurters in the fridge, and that was it. There was no bread, no milk either now, no tins of stuff, nothing in the freezer except ice. They’d be shafted if she checked.

His heart began to pound again. Sitting there, with her glasses and her polite cup of tea, she reminded him of all the reasons he’d hated school.

‘You know,’ he said, ‘Holly’s really clever. It’s not like if she misses a few lessons she’s going to mess everything up, because she’s the cleverest of the lot of us. She’s always reading and drawing and running about.’

‘I’m sure Holly’s very bright, but she also needs to go to school every day. Do you know how many days unauthorized absence she’s had this term?’

She’d spoken to the teacher already, so this was a trick. He shook his head and waited for her to tell him.

‘Her average attendance is currently below sixty per cent. That means she’s absent for at least four out of every ten days.’

‘I know what sixty per cent means.’

‘Of course, I’m sorry.’ She put the tea down. ‘The last two times I scheduled an appointment to see Karyn, nobody answered the door. When social services came round with me last week, they’d made an appointment with your mother, and Holly answered the door and told us she had no idea where Mum was. We were obviously concerned about that.’

He leaned back and folded his arms. It was like doing one of Holly’s jigsaws, trying to work out where the right answers were.

‘Maybe Mum went for a walk?’

That sounded healthy at least, but she sat there frowning at him.

‘Holly had a tummy ache,’ he said. ‘I remember now, that’s why she missed school. Maybe Mum went to the chemist to get medicine. Karyn was here, so Holly wasn’t alone. She probably said she didn’t know where Mum was to make everything sound more exciting. She loves making up stories. It’s a sign of intelligence.’

‘Where were you that day, Mikey, if you don’t mind me asking?’

His mind tripped to Ellie at the river, the challenge in her eyes as she dared him to jump. Her see-through shirt, the lace of her bra.

‘I was at work.’

Having a job was bound to be a point in his favour.

She took another sip of tea, glanced at her watch again. ‘OK, it doesn’t look as if Mum’s going to turn up, so maybe we should reschedule. But before I go, Mikey, I wanted to ask your advice. I’d like to get your view on Karyn, and how you think I could support her more. Is there anything you think she needs that she’s not getting at the moment?’

What was he supposed to say to that? Compensation? Revenge? Tom Parker dead?

‘I dunno, it’s just going on so long, isn’t it? She told me the other day she wished she’d never bothered reporting him. The thought of going to court really freaks her out, you know.’

‘I know, and I can help her with that, Mikey. I can liaise with the school on her behalf, I can talk to her GP if she wants me to, I can bring her up to date on all news relating to the case and help her prepare for court. It won’t be an easy ride, Mikey. But I’m here for her, believe me.’

‘She won’t leave the flat either, did you know that? She says she doesn’t want to bump into him, so she’s stuck in all the time.’

‘He’s not allowed anywhere near this flat, or in the centre of town, or near the school. I’ve told Karyn that.’

‘His mates could still get her.’

‘That would also be breaking his bail conditions. If anyone intimidates Karyn or passes on any messages from Tom to her, then you must let me know.’

‘And what happens when it’s over? You’ll dump her, won’t you? After the court case, we’ll never see you again.’

‘That’s why it’s important I put Karyn in touch with services that can help her now and will continue to help her. If you can persuade her to look at some of the leaflets I’ve given her, that would be great. It might take a burden from your shoulders too, Mikey, you never know.’ She put her cup down. ‘How’s Holly managing the situation with Karyn? Is she aware of what happened to her? Do you talk about it together?’

Mikey shook his head. ‘She’s a kid. She wouldn’t understand.’

‘Does she ever ask why Karyn isn’t going to school any more, or wonder why her sister’s upset?’

‘Karyn’s in Year Eleven, so was about to leave school anyway, and Holly thinks she’s sad because a boy dumped her.’

‘That’s what you’ve told her?’

‘Kind of.’

She nodded. ‘And what about you? It must be very tough being the older brother of a girl in this situation.’

He wondered what she wanted to hear. Was he supposed to want vengeance, or was it best to tell her that he was leaving the whole thing well alone? He remembered what Mum had said once and went with that.

‘I’m letting you lot deal with it.’

She nodded. He’d got that right at least.

‘And we will deal with it, Mikey. I know the police ask a lot of questions and those questions can be upsetting for Karyn, but they need to get their facts straight. You know that, don’t you? It’s very personal stuff, very difficult to deal with. It’s hard for all of you.’

He shrugged. How could this woman understand? No one would ever speak to her the way the cops spoke to Karyn, asking her if she’d slept with Tom before or if she usually got so drunk at parties. Women like her had been to university and knew all the right things to say. They had parents who came in pairs and grew up expecting the same for their own kids.

Mikey looked right at her for a second. For some strange reason, he imagined her eating an ice cream – strawberry and vanilla in some sunny back garden.

She smiled at him. ‘You said earlier that you have a job.’

‘I’m training to be a chef.’

‘Good for you.’ She was obviously impressed. ‘Do you work full-time?’

He made it sound brilliant. He was practically head chef in this little story and the pub couldn’t function without him. He described dishes he’d never made – coq au vin, cassoulet, choucroute garnie and a classic Russian coulibiac. No, he told her, he had no intention of leaving Norfolk. Yes, he said, the pub was sending him to college soon to do his NVQ. Yes, that would mean more hours, but he was completely up for it. He was a hard worker. He had a focused mind. He didn’t mention London and his dream that Karyn would get over this quickly so he’d be free to go there.

He finished with a flourish, told her he was bound to be promoted before the end of the year, then sat back on the sofa with his best grin.

But she didn’t smile back. In fact, she was frowning again.

‘That worries me, Mikey. That amount of responsibility and all those hours. I know your mum’s not well and I know how hard the situation with Karyn must be. It might be worth considering if there’s anyone else who can help you out for a while. A relative or family friend perhaps?’

‘No,’ he said, ‘there’s no one.’

Why wasn’t he getting this right? And what did she mean about Mum not being well? How much did she know?

He imagined her going back to the police station and telling all her cop mates that he wasn’t coping, then popping over to social services and telling them too. They’d all be tutting and fussing and making suggestions as to how he could do better in his sad little life.

‘Listen,’ he said. ‘We can manage this. We’ll make Holly go to school every day. It’s not too much. We can do that, she likes school, so it’ll be easy.’

‘There’s more to it than that, Mikey.’

‘Like what?’

He’d offer her anything, promise everything.

She told him what social services would be looking for: Holly needed to be at school by nine o’clock every day and she needed her PE kit and book bag with her. She mustn’t be smelly or dirty or tired and she must have had breakfast. Mum needed to call social services to see if they could offer support. Karyn needed to keep her appointments.

‘I can help her, Mikey. It’s my job to help her, but I can’t do my job if she won’t talk to me. If you could encourage her to trust me a bit more, that’d be great.’

She wanted him to call if he was worried about anything or wanted to talk, or if he thought of something Karyn might need. She gave him a little card with her direct number on it. It even had her name – Gillian.

He agreed to it all. It was a chance to believe everything could be better simply by saying it out loud.

In return she said she’d contact social services and tell them she’d spoken to him and that the family were perhaps managing better than she’d thought. She’d ask them to speak to Holly’s school about getting her into some club that didn’t finish until six o’clock, and maybe they could even investigate the possibility of a family support worker, whatever that was.

He promised that Mum would call her. He told her he understood that Karyn not meeting appointments was worrying and he’d do his best to persuade her to keep them. They nodded at each other. It was agreed. It was like beginning something new, starting over.

She began to put her coat on. ‘It’s fantastic you’re working, Mikey.’

He smiled without meaning to. ‘Yeah, I like cooking, it’s cool. Have you ever been to the Queen’s Head? It’s one of the pubs by the harbour.’

‘I don’t know it,’ she said. ‘But maybe I’ll try and get there one day.’

‘It’s all you can eat for a tenner. That’s pretty good, eh? After my shifts end, I even get stuff for free.’

He hesitated. He meant the meal he got after work, the bits of meat and stuffing balls and chipolatas, all piled high. But he wondered if by saying it out loud, she’d know about the crisps he stuffed in his jacket for the girls, the peanuts and pork scratchings for Mum. She was a cop, wasn’t she? She had a nose for crime.

‘The boss is pleased with me,’ he blustered. ‘She says I’m a natural.’

‘I’m sure you are.’

She stood up and hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. ‘Well, I’ll be off, Mikey, but remember, I think Mum should call social services today if possible.’

‘I’ll get her to do it.’

She nodded. ‘Good.’

He’d survived. She smiled as she left, even said she looked forward to seeing him again.

As soon as the door was shut he yelled up to Karyn and she came out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs, wrapped in her duvet.

‘She’s gone,’ he told her. ‘I handled it.’

‘What did she say?’

‘That you should keep your frigging appointments. You know, if you hadn’t pissed her off, she’d never have grassed us up. She’s only trying to help. Considering she’s a cop, she’s OK.’

‘She keeps wanting to talk about how I’m feeling and I want to forget it.’

‘Maybe she actually cares. You ever thought of that?’

Karyn walked down the stairs, trailing the duvet behind her. When she got to the bottom step she held out her arms for a hug. He put his arms round her and they stood there together for a minute.

‘There’s some stuff we need to do,’ he said.

She leaned back and looked at him. She looked paler than yesterday, and shorter. ‘What stuff?’

‘First, we’ve got to sober Mum up. Actually, you’ve got to sober her up, ‘cos I’ve got to go to work. She has to phone social services and tell them why she bunked off the other day, get some shopping in, then collect Holly. Get her to call me as soon as she’s properly awake and don’t let her go to school if she’s still hung-over – they’ll be watching for that. Your cop rang the school as well, can you believe it?’

‘Stop calling her my cop.’

‘If Mum hasn’t had a bath and isn’t completely sober, you’ll have to sort Holly out.’

Karyn shrank away from him. ‘I’m not leaving the flat.’

‘You don’t have to. Ring one of your friends and get them to pick her up.’

‘I’m not talking to people.’

‘For God’s sake, Karyn! It’s just a few phone calls.’

He wanted to hit her. He wanted to slam the door and walk away. Couldn’t she see that her mates needed something to do? Day after day they rang the doorbell to ask how she was. Giving them a job might make everyone feel better. But if he got into an argument about it now, he’d be even later for work than he was already. And if he walked off, Karyn’d go straight back to bed and she and Mum would sleep the whole day through.

He put his hands on Karyn’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. He felt like a hypnotist.

‘We’re in this together,’ he said, ‘and you have to do something to help. Make Mum strong coffee, get her to drink loads of water, go in and talk to her, don’t take any crap. We can’t be late to collect Holly today. Do you understand?’

She nodded, but her eyes were full of tears.

‘You’re very brave,’ he told her. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all going to work out fine.’