You Against Me

Forty-two

‘Are you absolutely sure my daughter’s not entitled to a solicitor?’

Detective Thomas sighed. ‘She’s here voluntarily and so doesn’t require legal representation. I thought I explained this in the car?’ She folded her hands on the table. ‘When my colleague comes back, he’ll be very happy to show you to a waiting area, Mrs Parker. I wonder if you wouldn’t be happier there?’

‘No, I wouldn’t.’ Mum scooped up Ellie’s hand and held it tight. That her mum dared to do this without consulting Dad was like a miracle of light in the middle of the dark. Tears of relief stung Ellie’s eyes.

‘Here,’ Mum said, and pulled a tissue from her pocket, fluffed it out and gave it to Ellie.

Detective Bryce came back with coffee in plastic cups and some plain digestives spread out on a plate. ‘How’s it all going in here then? Everyone OK?’

He was the jovial one, the note-taker, the coffee-getter. ‘Sugar, anyone? Milk?’ He passed out the drinks, offered biscuits. Finally, he sat down, opened his laptop and switched it on.

Detective Thomas said, ‘Right, I think we’re ready to begin.’ She handed Ellie a sheet of paper. ‘This is your original statement. Could you read it through for me, please, and then we’ll go through it point by point.’

Ellie knew the details off by heart. It had the date, the time Tom had arrived back from the pub and the names of the five people with him. Karyn McKenzie’s name swam in and out of focus.

‘Are there things that are incorrect?’ Detective Thomas said. ‘Or perhaps you’ve remembered something new?’

‘Something new, yes.’

The detective nodded, as if that was perfectly understandable. ‘Let’s run through it then, shall we? You originally told us that your parents were away, and when your brother arrived home at eleven o’clock with five friends, you briefly said hello to them, then went straight upstairs to your bedroom. You saw nothing more until eleven-thirty, when you heard laughter coming from the garden and looked out of your window.’ She picked up a sheet of paper in front of her. ‘I quote from your statement here, Ellie: They looked like they were having a good time out there, smoking and chatting. I noticed my brother and Karyn had their arms round each other. Karyn looked very relaxed. Anything you want to add to that?’

Karyn McKenzie worked a finger around the inside of her mouth as if she was making a spell. Tom appeared hypnotized. Ellie stood at the window, stirring her own mouth and wondered about having that kind of power.

Detective Thomas looked up. ‘Anything to add?’

‘No,’ Ellie whispered.

‘OK, so about ten minutes later you went to bed and had no further contact with anyone until the morning. Is that still correct?’

‘I did have contact.’

‘Who with?’

‘All of them, but Karyn first.’

‘When was this?’

‘I don’t know, maybe an hour later. She came into my room.’

The detective frowned. ‘Was she alone?’

‘Yes. She was looking for the bathroom, she said she felt sick. I told her there was one downstairs, but she said there was someone in it, so I showed her the one across the landing and waited for her to come out.’

‘You waited? Why did you do that?’

‘She wasn’t well. I wanted to check she was OK.’

Hot blood flushed Ellie’s face, because although Karyn was drunk and slurring her words, Ellie also thought she might nick stuff. She hated it about herself now – that she could be worried about Dad’s iPod on the bedside table and the cash lying around in her parents’ room.

‘She was in there for ages. Stacey came up looking for her, and the two of them stood on the landing, talking.’

‘Where were you?’

‘Back in my room. My door was open a bit, but they didn’t know I was there.’

‘And what did they talk about?’

‘The boys mostly. Stacey said she liked Ben and Karyn liked Tom. Stacey made some joke about the evening going well considering they’d only gone out to get chips, and Karyn said not to talk about food, or she might chuck up. Stacey asked why she was so wrecked and between them they counted Karyn’s drinks. She’d had two in the pub and three more at the house. They said the boys were trying to get them drunk. Karyn said something like, Well, it’s working. They both laughed at that.’

The detectives looked at each other. Ellie couldn’t read the signs between them.

‘And then what happened?’

‘Tom came upstairs. He said the boys were getting lonely. Stacey went down to find Ben.’

‘Karyn stayed with your brother?’

‘Yes.’

‘And did they talk?’

‘They kissed.’

The detectives must think Ellie was a weirdo, spying on people kissing. But there weren’t words to describe how she wanted a version of it for herself. She wanted to be dressed up and out of control on a Saturday night, allowed out to parties, able to find love in the dark.

‘Was the kissing a mutual thing, Ellie? Did Karyn seem happy about it?’

‘Yes, but they stopped when I opened my door. I told Tom I wanted to speak to him, and Karyn went downstairs. I told him Karyn was only fifteen and she was really drunk.’

‘And what did he say?’

‘He told me to chill out. He said Freddie had put two bottles of Dad’s vodka in the punch and everyone was knocking it back like water.’

Mum slapped her hand to her mouth. Detective Bryce looked up from his notes. ‘Are you all right, Mrs Parker?’

Mum looked as if she was going to be sick. Detective Bryce stood up and opened the window.

He said, ‘If you want to step outside, Mrs Parker, I can show you to a waiting area. This must be very difficult for you.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m not leaving.’

Ellie leaned across and took her hand again. ‘I’m sorry, Mum, I’m so sorry. Don’t stay, you don’t have to…’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Her hand was warm. It was good to keep holding it.

‘OK, so let’s go back a bit,’ Detective Thomas said. ‘You told your brother Karyn was only fifteen. Did he say anything to that?’

‘No.’

‘And what were his actual words about the punch, Ellie? Do you remember?’

‘He said it was lethal and that Karyn had eaten all the fruit, which was the most alcoholic bit.’

‘Did he seem upset or disturbed by how much vodka Freddie put in?’

‘No, he was laughing.’

She wanted to tell this woman, You don’t know him – he rescued me from a dog once, he’s funny and kind and helps me with homework. She wanted to say, He’s lonely, he hasn’t made proper friends with anyone since we moved from London. This is so much more complicated than I can ever explain.

‘Did you tell the girls the punch was that strong, Ellie?’

‘I thought they knew.’ Ellie’s throat constricted with tears. ‘I often wish I had said something.’

‘I’m sure you do.’ The detective scoured the papers in front of her. ‘So, did you and Tom say anything else after that?’

‘No. He went downstairs and I went back to my room.’

‘And what happened then?’

Ellie tried desperately hard not to leave anything out. She told the detective how she tried reading, but couldn’t concentrate, tried watching TV, but the music pumping up from the lounge was too distracting. She said she texted Tom to turn it down, but he never did. She came out of her room a couple of times and peered down the stairs, but there was so much laughing and shouting that she didn’t dare go any further. She explained that after an hour or so, when the laughter got ridiculously loud – up the stairs, outside her door, lots of shushing and stumbling about – she finally intervened.

She opened her door a fraction and two of the boys, Freddie and James, were carrying Karyn across the landing between them. She was laughing, her hands clutching for the banister, the wall, the light switch. But her laughter turned into a low moan as they swung her round and edged her into Tom’s bedroom.

Ellie opened the door wider, and there was Tom, coming up the stairs.

‘What are they doing?’ she said.

‘Why are you still awake?’ He seemed embarrassed, was half smiling. ‘Go back to bed, Ellie. They’re just mucking about.’

And he followed them into his room and shut the door.

Mucking about? Uncertain now, Ellie went to find Stacey, because if she thought the boys were out of order, she’d charge up and yell at them. But Stacey was nowhere. Ellie went from room to room looking for her, but she’d gone and so had Ben, and so their going was probably permanent, which meant it was up to Ellie to decide what to do.

She went back up the stairs and put her ear to Tom’s door. Total silence. Oh God, she was going to look a right prat barging in, but she eased the door open anyway, because her brother was in there – Tom Alexander Parker, who she’d grown up with for years – and surely he wouldn’t let anything terrible happen?

Karyn lay on the bed, eyes closed. The three boys stood round her like surgeons and James had a stick in his hand – the one for opening the blinds – and he was lifting Karyn’s skirt with it, like maybe if he did it with a stick it wouldn’t count, and Tom and Freddie were taking photos with their phones.

‘What are you doing?’

James whipped the stick behind his back, Tom stuffed his mobile in his pocket. Freddie aimed his phone at Ellie and said, ‘Hello, gorgeous.’ The light flashed in her eyes.

She turned to her brother. ‘What’s going on?’

He shook his head. ‘Nothing, just a bit of fun.’

‘She’s out of her head.’

Freddie sputtered with laughter. ‘You can say that again.’

‘Then shouldn’t you leave her alone?’

‘She likes it. She was laughing just now.’ Freddie gave Karyn a nudge with his knee. ‘You’ve been egging us on all night, haven’t you?’

Karyn’s eyes fluttered open and she half smiled at him, before groaning and shutting her eyes again.

‘Someone should take her home,’ Ellie said. ‘She doesn’t look well.’

‘But your brother likes her.’ Freddie pulled a pretend sulky face. ‘She was totally up for it and now she totally isn’t.’ He looked Ellie up and down. She was suddenly horribly aware that she was in her pyjamas. ‘So, what do you suggest we do, little sister?’

‘I suggest you leave her alone.’

Freddie’s smile turned cold. He said, ‘Hey, Tom, you going to let her ruin the party?’

And Tom came right up close and said, ‘Why don’t you fuck off, Ellie?’ And he’d never said that to her before, not ever, and why did he have to do it now, in front of these boys?

Ellie said, ‘Fuck off yourself.’

Freddie and James laughed at Tom like he couldn’t control anything, and Tom, blushing and furious, grabbed Ellie by the wrist, hauled her out and shut the door. At first, she was grateful, like maybe he was saving her from something, but then he said, ‘Stay out of it.’

She shook her head. ‘Make them leave.’

‘They will, soon they will.’

‘Make them leave now.’

‘Nothing’s going to happen. They’re drunk and a bit stoned, that’s all. Everyone’s had too much.’

But you haven’t, she thought. You’re sober. Why are you sober?

Still he didn’t let go of her wrist. ‘You’re making a fool of yourself. Now go to bed.’

‘Not until you make them leave.’ She stood by the door and her heart was pounding so hard she swore he could hear it, and he had a look on his face like nothing she said or did was going to make any difference and there was only one way to get to the bit of him that would make anything change.

‘I’m calling Dad,’ she said. ‘If you don’t make them leave right now, I’m calling him and telling him about the booze and dope and everything.’

‘The first time ever I bring anyone back and you humiliate me.’ He squeezed her wrist tighter. ‘You might not care about having no friends in this shit-hole of a town, but I bloody do.’

Still, she didn’t budge. She tried to close down the part of her that cared what he thought. ‘Get rid of them, Tom.’

Outside the police-station window, a motorbike roared into the gated yard. There were police cars and a riot van parked out there and a sky that stretched above, bright and tight and blue. The motorcyclist dismounted, took off his helmet and gloves and walked away.

Detective Thomas leaned forward. ‘And did he get rid of them, Ellie?’

‘He told them our parents were coming home and they had to leave. They didn’t believe him. Freddie said he had no balls and James told him he was a no-mark. All the way down the stairs, I heard Tom apologizing.’

Detective Bryce looked up from his laptop. Mum shuffled her feet, crossed and uncrossed her legs. The room felt suddenly cold.

Detective Thomas said, ‘What happened then?’

‘I went to bed.’

‘Did it occur to you that Karyn shouldn’t be left alone?’

‘I thought she needed to sleep.’

‘The drinks were strong, you’ve described her as being out of her head, yet you went to bed?’

‘I’m sorry, I just thought… it was late…’

Mum tensed beside her. ‘It wasn’t Ellie’s responsibility to stay with the girl.’

The detective shook her head. ‘Mrs Parker, I have to ask you not to comment.’

‘She’s only a kid. She was doing her best. You heard her say she got rid of those boys.’

The detective smiled wearily. ‘It’s not those particular boys she needed to worry about though, is it, Mrs Parker?’ She turned back to her paperwork. ‘Now, let’s get on.’

‘I did get her a bucket in case she was sick,’ Ellie whispered, ‘and a glass of water. I took her shoes off as well and covered her with the duvet.’

The detective didn’t appear to be listening. ‘Where was your brother by now, Ellie?’

‘Downstairs.’

‘You didn’t speak to him again?’

‘Not then.’

‘You did later?’

Ellie nodded.

She’d felt stupidly proud for saving Karyn. It made up for Freddie’s cold smile, for the humiliation on her brother’s face. Would Karyn remember and be grateful? Would they be friends at school on Monday? Would Ellie finally know someone in this town?

And then, maybe she slept, because there was a noise – like an animal in pain, that seemed to come from a dream, and she sat upright, heart thumping. Karyn was sick and needed her. Ellie stumbled out of bed and yanked the door open.

‘Christ!’ Tom said. ‘What the hell are you doing?’

He cowered on the landing outside Karyn’s room, as if Ellie had thrown a brick at his head.

‘I heard a noise,’ she muttered.

‘You fucking terrified me!’

‘Is Karyn OK?’

‘She’s fine. I went in to get my sleeping bag.’

‘Has she been sick?’

‘No, she’s fine, I just told you.’

But there was something in his eyes, something desperate, and when Ellie didn’t move he said, Go to bed, just go to bed, over and over, like maybe she would if he said it enough. She wanted to help him. Perhaps Karyn was really ill and he’d gone to check and couldn’t cope. He’d been smoking after all, so wasn’t the best judge. She pretended to go back to bed, listened for his footsteps on the stairs, counted to twenty and, when he’d definitely gone, opened the door again and crept out.

Karyn was lying on her back, almost entirely covered by the duvet. She looked sweet, like she’d been tucked in. But when Ellie switched on the lamp, she knew something was wrong. It was more than the spilled water darkening the carpet, more than Karyn’s shoes skewed across the room, more than the sleeping bag on top of the wardrobe where it always was, so why had Tom lied about getting it? It was something to do with angles and shadows.

‘I lifted up the duvet,’ Ellie told Detective Thomas. ‘I knew something wasn’t right.’

‘And what did you see?’

The shocking curl of pubic hair. Knickers ripped down. Legs at uncomfortable slants. Hair tangled like seaweed across the pillow.

‘Ellie?’

‘She was… she was undressed.’

‘Karyn was naked?’

‘No. Her clothes were… they were pulled up or down, depending…’

‘You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, I’m afraid.’

But her mum was listening, a tissue balled up in her hand. And the man at the laptop was listening, and this was Karyn, vulnerable. It would be written down and recorded and read out in court.

Detective Thomas tapped her pencil on the table. Detective Bryce swung on his chair. There were sweat patches under his arms.

‘Her… her knickers were down and her skirt was up and her top was pushed up as well, and she was, she couldn’t… She was…’

‘What, Ellie?’

‘She was doing this thing with her hands, like she was struggling to get up, but couldn’t, like she was in pain. I don’t think she knew… I mean, I don’t think she… I don’t think she consented.’

Detective Thomas shrugged. ‘Consented to what? Maybe she was hot and simply tried to undress herself.’

‘It wasn’t that, it was different from that. Something had happened to her.’

‘Perhaps you interrupted an intimate situation and she chose to feign sleep because she was embarrassed.’

‘No.’

‘You seem very sure.’

Because she’d given herself these same excuses for weeks and they didn’t cut it. Karyn looked like she’d crashed from the sky.

The detective tapped her pencil some more, gazing at Ellie as if she was utterly bored. ‘Have you had some kind of argument with your brother recently?’

‘No.’

‘Perhaps you’re jealous of all the interest people are taking in him?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Do you feel left out? Would you like some attention for yourself?’

‘This is ridiculous,’ Mum cut in. ‘You think what’s happening to her brother is something she wants? Do you know how crippled our family is by this?’

‘Mrs Parker,’ the detective snapped, ‘will you stop interrupting!’

‘Please,’ Ellie said, ‘you have to believe me, I’m telling you the truth.’

‘That’s what you said last time.’

‘But this time I am.’

Why weren’t they taking her seriously? This had to be worth something. The truth had to count.

‘Listen,’ she said, trying to steady her breathing. ‘There were photos. Tom doesn’t know I saw them, but he took photos.’

‘No,’ the detective said, ‘we seized his phone and laptop and there were no photos.’

‘I deleted them.’

The detective leaned forward slowly, furiously, her eyes glittering. ‘Let me get this right. You found photos of your brother assaulting Karyn and you deleted them?’

‘I didn’t want Tom sending them to Freddie… I didn’t want them on the internet. It would be terrible… for Karyn, I mean, so I deleted them and overwrote the memory.’

‘Describe these photos!’

Ellie was startled. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I wanted to help Karyn.’

‘By destroying the evidence?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Ellie whispered into the silence.

‘Please,’ Mum said, ‘don’t talk to her like this.’

The detective slapped her hand on the table. ‘Mrs Parker, if you keep interjecting, I will have you escorted from the room, do you understand?’

Mum bit her lip, nodded.

The detective turned back to Ellie. ‘Now, I asked you to describe the photos. How many were there?’

‘Six.’

‘What were they of?’

‘Karyn in different… in different positions, you know.’

‘No, I don’t know, which is why I’m asking you.’

‘They were graphic…’

‘You’re going to have to do much better than that if you want me to believe you. Were there pictures of penetration?’

Ellie cringed. ‘No! The first one, her skirt was a bit up, then the next one, it was a bit more up and her knickers were a bit… you know, down… and then on like that, until the last one, when she was undressed.’

‘You said earlier she wasn’t undressed.’

‘She wasn’t, not completely…’

‘These photos don’t prove a thing, do they? They probably never existed, and even if they did, Karyn could have posed for them. Why not? You said yourself she liked your brother, was flirting with him, kissing him. She posed for the pictures, had sex with him, then regretted it.’

Ellie looked out of the window at the sky. None of this was making a difference, none of it was counting for anything. She thought of Karyn in her flat, just stuck there. All these weeks in a world made up of shadows.

She took a breath, determined. ‘I know you think I’m making this up now, but I’m not. I told myself my brother took a few pictures to prove something to his friends, like a dare. I didn’t say anything straight away and I should have done. I’m sorry I didn’t, but those pictures definitely existed.’

Detective Thomas looked at her impassively. ‘You found out pretty quickly that your brother did a lot more than take pictures. He was arrested the following day and admitted having sex with Karyn. He said she consented and that he had no idea about her age. If you knew she couldn’t possibly have consented, if you knew he was aware of her age, why didn’t you tell us this when we questioned you the first time?’

‘I didn’t want it to be true.’

‘Withholding evidence doesn’t make someone innocent.’

‘I know.’

‘Did Tom ask you to lie?’

‘No. I didn’t see him again until he got bail.’

‘But he knows you lied? His solicitor has a copy of your first statement and will have shown him. So presumably Tom expects you to stand up in court and continue to defend him?’

‘I suppose so.’

Detective Thomas looked at her long and hard. ‘Do you know someone called Mikey McKenzie?’

‘Yes.’

‘How well do you know him?’

‘A bit.’

‘Only a bit? Are you sure about that?’

A beat. They looked at each other.

‘Ellie, I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve been hard on you today because when this goes to court, you’ll be cross-examined by your brother’s counsel, who will do everything to discredit you. I actually think you’re being very brave and Karyn will be enormously grateful to you, but your evidence is not conclusive. It corroborates what Karyn has said to some extent, but it isn’t key evidence, it’s simply your word against your brother’s. First you say one thing, then you change your mind and say something else. You tell us there was physical evidence, but you destroyed it. It looks suspicious, do you see? It’s imperative you’re honest with me. You can’t tell us one thing and expect us to believe you, and then the next minute tell us a blatant lie. So, I’m going to ask you again about your relationship with Mikey.’

Ellie’s heart was pumping hard. She hadn’t thought they’d mention him. How stupid she was. Of course Karyn would have told them, of course it was all going to come out. There was nowhere left to hide.

Mum looked completely bemused. ‘Can somebody tell me what’s going on?’

Detective Thomas frowned at her to shush. ‘Ellie,’ she said, ‘how well do you know Mikey McKenzie?’

‘I know him very well.’

‘I’m going to put it to you that he asked you to change your story, that between you you’ve concocted this new version of events.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘I’m going to suggest that your original version was in fact true, that you heard and saw nothing all night, but that Mikey is pressurizing you, maybe even threatening you in order to help his sister. What would you say to that?’

‘It’s rubbish.’

‘How long have you known him?’

‘Nearly eight weeks.’

‘Is he your boyfriend?’

‘He kind of was.’

‘Was?’

‘He isn’t now. I won’t see him again.’

‘But you were intimate?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Ellie, I need yes or no answers. I’m sorry if you feel I’m being hard on you, but the defence counsel will be a lot harder, believe me. I need to be very sure that you’ll be a strong enough witness.’

Her mother tensed forward on the chair. She looked like a statue. She was barely breathing she was listening so hard.

Ellie turned to her, tears sliding down her face. ‘I’m sorry you found out like this, Mum. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.’

‘We can ask Mum to leave,’ Detective Thomas said, ‘if it makes it more comfortable for you, Ellie. Do you want her to wait outside?’

‘I want her to stay. I’m sick of secrets.’

The detective considered this for a second. ‘Is that all right with you, Mrs Parker?’

She smiled sadly at Ellie, gripped her hand firmly. ‘I’m staying.’