The Sandman

121

Jurek turns the running machine off, then stands there smiling to himself for a long while as he catches his breath.

‘You say you gave your mother cytostatic medication, chemotherapy... But you didn’t...’

‘Yes I did,’ she says.

‘The medicine you describe is codeine phosphate,’ he says.

‘Painkillers?’ she asks.

‘Yes, you don’t prescribe codeine for cancer, only strong opiates, like morphine and Ketogan.’

‘But I can remember the pills exactly... there was a groove on one side...’

‘Yes,’ he says bluntly.

‘Mum said...’

She falls silent and her heart is beating so hard she’s scared it shows on her face. Joona warned me, she thinks. He told me not to talk about my parents.

She gulps and looks down at the worn floor.

It doesn’t matter, she thinks, and walks off towards her room.

It just happened, she said a bit too much, but she stuck to the truth the whole time.

She hadn’t had a choice. Not answering his questions would have been far too evasive. It was a necessary exchange, but she isn’t going to say any more now.

‘Wait,’ Jurek says, very gently.

She stops, but doesn’t turn round.

‘For all these years I haven’t had a single chance to escape,’ he goes on. ‘I’ve known that the decision to sentence me to secure psychiatric care would never be reviewed, and I’ve realised I’m never going to get parole... but now that you’re here, I can finally leave this hospital.’

Saga turns round and looks directly at the thin face, into his pale eyes.

‘What could I possibly do?’ she asks.

‘It will take a few days to prepare everything,’ he replies. ‘But if you can get hold of some sleeping pills... I need five Stesolid tablets.’

‘How can I get hold of them?’

‘You stay awake, say you can’t sleep, ask for ten milligrams of Stesolid, hide the pill, then go to bed.’

‘Why don’t you do it yourself?’

A smile breaks out on Jurek’s cracked lips.

‘They’d never give me anything I ask for, they’re too frightened of me. But you’re a siren... everyone sees how beautiful you are, not how dangerous.’

Saga thinks that this could be what it takes to win Jurek’s confidence. She’ll do as he says, join in with his plan, as long as it doesn’t get too risky.

‘You took the punishment for what I did, so I’ll try to help you,’ she replies quietly.

‘But you don’t want to come?’

‘I’ve got nowhere to go.’

‘You will have.’

‘Tell me,’ she asks, venturing a smile.

‘The dayroom’s closing now,’ he says, and walks out.

She feels strangely out of kilter, as if he already knows everything about her, even before she tells him.

Of course it wasn’t chemotherapy medication. She just assumed it was, without really thinking. You don’t administer chemotherapy drugs like that; they have to be taken at strict intervals. The cancer was probably far too advanced. All that was left was pain relief.

When she gets back into her cell, it feels as if she’s been holding her breath all the way through her encounter with Jurek Walter.

She lies down on the bunk, completely exhausted.

Saga thinks that she’ll stay passive from now on, and let Jurek reveal his plans to the police.