Простой сложный разговор. Модель легкого и эффективного общения

Примечания

1

Michael Yeomans et al., “A Practical Guide to Conversation Research,” Advances in Methods and Practices in Psychological Science 6 (2023).

2

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

3

Janet B. Bavelas, Linda Coates, and Trudy Johnson, “Listeners as Co-Narrators,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79, no. 6 (2000): 941.

4

Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley, “Undersociality Is Unwise,” Journal of Consumer Psychology 33, no. 1 (2023): 199–212.

5

Robin M. Hogarth, Tomás Lejarraga, and Emre Soyer, “The Two Settings of Kind and Wicked Learning Environments,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 24, no. 5 (2015): 379–85.

6

Jeremy N. Bailenson, “Non-verbal Overload: A Theoretical Argument for the Causes of Zoom Fatigue” Technology, Mind, and Behavior 2, no. 1 (2021).

7

Kenneth Savitsky, Nicholas Epley, and Thomas Gilovich, “Do Others Judge Us as Harshly as We Think? Overestimating the Impact of Our Failures, Shortcomings, and Mishaps,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81, no. 1 (2001): 44; Christopher Welker et al., “Pessimistic Assessments of Ability in Informal Conversation,” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 53, no. 7 (2023): 555–69.

8

Jared R. Curhan and Alex Pentland, “Thin Slices of Negotiation: Predicting Outcomes from Conversational Dynamics Within the First 5 Minutes,” Journal of Applied Psychology 92, no. 3 (2007): 802.

9

Karen Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 113, no. 3 (2017): 430.

10

Grant E. Donnelly, Hanne Collins, and Alison Wood Brooks, “How Prisoner Apologies Influence Parole Decisions” (в работе).

11

Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John, “The Surprising Power of Questions,” Harvard Business Review 96, no. 3 (2018): 60–67.

12

Alison Wood Brooks and Michael Yeomans, “Boomerasking: Answering Your Own Questions” (в работе); Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

13

Yeomans, Schweitzer, and Brooks, “Conversational Circumplex.” seeking the nearest exit: Alison Wood Brooks and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Can Nervous Nelly Negotiate? How Anxiety Causes Negotiators to Make Low First Offers, Exit Early, and Earn Less Profit,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 115, no. 1 (2011): 43–54.

14

Brooks and Schweitzer, “Can Nervous Nelly Negotiate?”

15

Sean R. Martin et al., “Talking Shop: An Exploration of How Talking About Work Affects Our Initial Interactions,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 168 (2022).

16

Gerben A. Van Kleef, Carsten K. W. De Dreu, and Antony S. R. Manstead, “The Interpersonal Effects of Anger and Happiness in Negotiations,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 86, no. 1 (2004): 57.

17

Marc Ethier, “The Most Interesting New MBA Courses at B-Schools This Year,” Poets & Quants, September 22, 2019.

18

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “New Surgeon General Advisory Raises Alarm about the Devastating Impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States” (press release), May 3, 2023, www.HHS.gov.

19

Paul Grice, Studies in the Way of Words (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1991).

20

Erin C. Westgate and Timothy D. Wilson, “Boring Thoughts and Bored Minds: The MAC Model of Boredom and Cognitive Engagement,” Psychological Review 125, no. 5 (2018): 689.

21

Garriy Shteynberg, “A Collective Perspective: Shared Attention and the Mind,” Current Opinion in Psychology 23 (2018): 93–97.

22

Hanne K. Collins, “When Listening Is Spoken,” Current Opinion in Psychology 47 (2022).

23

Daniel E. Forster et al., “Experimental Evidence That Apologies Promote Forgiveness by Communicating Relationship Value,” Scientific Reports 11, no. 1 (2021).

24

Maya Rossignac-Milon et al., “Merged Minds: Generalized Shared Reality in Dyadic Relationships,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 120, no. 4 (2021): 882.

25

Michael Yeomans et al., “A Practical Guide to Conversation Research: How to Study What People Say to Each Other,” Advances in Methods and Practices in Psychological Science 6, no. 4 (2023).

26

В этой книге мы будем обсуждать в основном синхронное общение, в ходе которого собеседники отвечают друг другу сразу. Я призываю вас подумать о том, как обсуждаемые нами принципы — выбор темы, вопросы, легкость и доброта — могут (или не могут) применяться в несинхронных взаимодействиях (в текстовых сообщениях, по электронной почте, в социальных сетях и так далее) по сравнению с живым интенсивным обменом репликами. Здесь и далее прим. авт., если не указано иное.

27

Benedetta Craveri, The Age of Conversation (New York: New York Review Books, 2006).

28

Immanuel Kant, “§ 88. On the Highest Ethicophysical Good,” in Anthropology from a Pragmatic Point of View (1798), trans. Victor Lyle Dowdell (Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 1996).

29

Lorraine Daston, “The Ideal and Reality of the Republic of Letters in the Enlightenment,” Science in Context 4, no. 2 (1991): 367– 86.

30

Республика писем — интеллектуальное сообщество ученых и литераторов, возникшее в XVII–XVIII веках в Европе и Америке. Основным способом обмена мнениями была личная переписка. Прим. пер.

31

Immanuel Kant, “An Answer to the Question: ‘What Is Enlightenment?’ ” (1784).

32

1724–1804. Прим. ред.

33

Кант крайне редко покидал свой родной маленький Кёнигсберг, где придерживался такого строгого распорядка дня, что соседи называли его «кёнигсбергскими часами».

34

Manfred Kuehn, Kant: A Biography (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2002), 357.

35

Kant, “§ 88. On the Highest Ethicophysical Good”; Thomas de Quincey, “The ‘Dinner Parties’ of Immanuel Kant,” in The Last Days of Immanuel Kant (1827), reprinted in Anthologia (2022), www.anthologialitt.com; Alix A. Cohen, “The Ultimate Kantian Experience: Kant on Dinner Parties,” History of Philosophy Quarterly 25, no. 4 (2008): 315– 36.

36

Кант говорил, что для «изысканного пира» следует «пресекать всяческий Rechthaberei». В моей «Антропологии» Канта Rechthaberei переводится как «догматизм» или, для наших целей, «умничанье».

37

Jonathan Swift, “§ 17. Genteel Conversation, Directions to Servants, Argument Against Abolishing Christianity, and Other Pamphlets,” in From Steele and Addison to Pope and Swift, vol. 9 of The Cambridge History of English and American Literature in 18 Volumes, ed. A. W. Ward and A. R. Waller (Cambridge University Press, 1907–21).

38

Stephen Miller, Conversation: A History of a Declining Art (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2007), 203.

39

Cohen, “The Ultimate Kantian Experience.”

40

Хотя знатоки бесед по всей Европе и расходились во мнениях относительно некоторых деталей вежливой беседы (кто лучше ее практикует и каковы должны быть ее правила), однако на американцев все они смотрели свысока. Дело было не только в акценте, грамматике и привычке сплевывать — недостатках, которые в ходе многочисленных визитов в Америку отмечали французский аристократ Алексис де Токвиль и выходец из рабочего класса, писатель Чарльз Диккенс. Американцы нарушали первостепенное правило вежливой беседы, обсуждая на светских мероприятиях свой бизнес и постоянно рассказывая о себе.

41

Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments and on the Origins of Languages, ed. Dugald Stewart (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1853), 6.

42

Russell Cooper, Coordination Games (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1998); Thomas Schelling, The Strategy of Conflict (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1960); Oskar Morgenstern and John von Neumann, Theory of Games and Economic Behavior (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1944); and John F. Nash, “Equilibrium Points in N-Person Games,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 36, no. 1 (1950): 48–49.

43

Thomas Schelling, The Strategy of Conflict (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1960).

44

Yeomans et al., “Practical Guide.”

45

Thomas F. Pettigrew and Linda R. Tropp, “A Meta-Analytic Test of Intergroup Contact Theory,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 90, no. 5 (2006): 751.

46

Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

47

Emma M. Templeton et al., “Long Gaps Between Turns Are Awkward for Strangers But Not for Friends,” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B 378, no. 1875 (2023).

48

Adam M. Mastroianni et al., “Do Conversations End When People Want Them To?” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 118, no. 10 (2021): e2011809118; Elizabeth Stokoe, “The Sense of a Conversational Ending,” Loughborough University, 2021, repository.lboro.ac.uk.

49

Недавние исследования психологов Адама Мастроянни и Гаса Куни показывают, что почти ни одна беседа не заканчивается тогда, когда этого хотят ее участники. Завершение беседы — последнее микрорешение, которое необходимо согласовать, вот почему концовка так часто вызывает чувство неловкости (и неудовлетворенности).

50

Nicole Abi-Esber, Adam Mastroianni, and Alison Wood Brooks, “How Verbal, Nonverbal, and Paralinguistic Conversational Cues Inform Interpersonal Inference in Job Interviews” (в работе).

51

De Quincey, “The ‘Dinner Parties’ of Immanuel Kant.”

52

Arlie Russell Hochschild, Working in America (London: Routledge, 2015), 29–36.

53

Wynton Marsalis and Geoffrey Ward, Moving to Higher Ground: How Jazz Can Change Your Life (New York: Random House, 2009).

54

Emily Post, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home (New York: Funk & Wagnalls, 1922).

55

Карнеги Д. Как завоевывать друзей и оказывать влияние на людей. Минск: Поппури, 2020.

56

Joy Hendry and Conrad William Watson, eds., An Anthropology of Indirect Communication (London: Routledge, 2001).

57

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

58

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

59

Gráinne M. Fitzsimons, Eli J. Finkel, and Michelle R. vanDellen, “Transactive Goal Dynamics,” Psychological Review 122, no. 4 (2015): 648; Henri Barki and Jon Hartwick, “Conceptualizing the Construct of Interpersonal Conflict,” International Journal of Conflict Management 15, no. 3 (2004): 216–44.

60

Yeomans et al., “Practical Guide.”

61

Suellen Rundquist, “Indirectness: A Gender Study of Flouting Grice’s Maxims,” Journal of Pragmatics 18, no. 5 (1992): 431–49.

62

Не волнуйтесь. Грайс прекрасно понимал, что его максимы нереалистичны. На самом деле он сформулировал их отчасти именно для того, чтобы подчеркнуть разницу между непреднамеренным несоблюдением максим и намеренным отступлением от них. Он знал, что, когда мы специально нарушаем правила, следуя тонким, заманчивым, изящным, уникальным для каждой ситуации косвенным сигналам, которые наши собеседники тоже улавливают, часто получаются самые увлекательные беседы.

63

Emma E. Levine and Matthew J. Lupoli, “Prosocial Lies: Causes and Consequences,” Current Opinion in Psychology 43 (2022): 335–40; Emma E. Levine and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Prosocial Lies: When Deception Breeds Trust,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 126 (2015): 88–106.

64

Leslie K. John, Kate Barasz, and Michael I. Norton, “Hiding Personal Information Reveals the Worst,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 113, no. 4 (2016): 954–59.

65

Yeomans and Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation.”: Herbert H. Clark and Jean E. Fox Tree, “Using Uh and Um in Spontaneous Speaking,” Cognition 84, no. 1 (2002): 73–111.

66

Francesco Ranci, “The Unfinished Business of Erving Goffman: From Marginalization Up Towards the Elusive Center of American Sociology,” American Sociologist 52, no. 2 (2021): 390–419; Philip Manning, Erving Goffman and Modern Sociology (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2013).

67

Для своей дипломной работы Гофман поселился на отдаленных Шетландских островах. Позже он выдавал себя за менеджера казино в Вегасе, стремясь подслушать разговоры посетителей. Однако мало что известно о личном стиле беседы Гофмана. Он не любил раскрывать свою личную жизнь и запрещал записывать свои лекции на пленку, не разрешал фотографировать себя и дал всего два интервью. Он не одобрял исследований, в которых ученые привлекают внимание к себе. «Только тупица изучает свою собственную жизнь» — так он говорил.

68

Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday life (University of Edinburgh Social Sciences Research Centre, 1959); Erving Goffman, Strategic Interaction (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1969); Erving Goffman, Forms of Talk (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1981).

69

Emanuel A. Schegloff, Sequence Organization in Interaction: A Primer in Conversation Analysis (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2007), vol. 1.

70

Elliott M Hoey, “Waiting to Inhale: On Sniffing in Conversation,” Research on Language and Social Interaction 53, no. 1 (2020): 118–39. need to know the participants’ purposes: Yeomans, Schweitzer, and Brooks, “Conversational Circumplex”; Stokoe, “Sense of a Conversational Ending.”

71

Yeomans et al., “Practical Guide.”

72

Yeomans et al., “Practical Guide; Aravind K. Joshi, “Natural Language Processing,” Science 253, no. 5025 (1991): 1242–49.

73

Matthias R. Mehl et al., “Are Women Really More Talkative Than Men?” Science 317, no. 5834 (2007): 82.

74

Alecia J. Carter et al., “Women’s Visibility in Academic Seminars: Women Ask Fewer Questions Than Men,” PLOS One 13, no. 9 (2018): e0202743.

75

Marc D. Hauser et al., “The Mystery of Language Evolution,” Frontiers in Psychology 5 (2014): 401.

76

Jenny R. Saffran, Ann Senghas, and John C. Trueswell, “The Acquisition of Language by Children,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 98, no. 23 (2001): 12874–75.

77

Karen Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, no. 3 (2017): 430; T. Bradford Bitterly and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “The Impression Management Benefits of Humorous Self-Disclosures: How Humor Influences Perceptions of Veracity,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 151 (2019): 73–89; Matteo Di Stasi, Alison Wood Brooks, and Jordi Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions Increases Personal Gains in Negotiations” (в работе); Alison Wood Brooks and Michael Yeomans, “Boomerasking: Answering Your Own Questions” (в работе); Yeomans and Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation”; Nicole Abi-Esber et al., “The Power of Preparation: Brainstorming Flexible Topics Before Conversations Begin” (в работе).

78

Primo Levi, The Reawakening, trans. Stuart Woolf (London: Bodley Head, 1965), 45.

79

Michael Yeomans et al., “A Practical Guide to Conversation Research,” Advances in Methods and Practices in Psychological Science 6 (2023).

80

Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

81

Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

82

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

83

Nicole Abi-Esber et al., “The Power of Preparation: Brainstorming Flexible Topics Before Conversations Begin” (в работе).

84

Nicole Abi-Esber et al., “The Power of Preparation: Brainstorming Flexible Topics Before Conversations Begin” (в работе).

85

Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York: Macmillan, 2011).

86

Mark R. Leary and Robin M. Kowalski, “Impression Management: A Literature Review and Two-Component Model,” Psychological Bulletin 107, no. 1 (1990): 34.

87

Julia A. Minson, Frances S. Chen, and Catherine H. Tinsley, “Why Won’t You Listen to Me? Measuring Receptiveness to Opposing Views,” Management Science 66, no. 7 (2020): 3069–94.

88

Nicholas Epley and Eugene M. Caruso, “Egocentric Ethics,” Social Justice Research 17 (2004): 171–87; Nicholas Epley et al., “Perspective Taking as Egocentric Anchoring and Adjustment,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 87, no. 3 (2004): 327.

89

Evan F. Risko and Sam J. Gilbert, “Cognitive Offloading,”Trends in Cognitive Sciences 20, no. 9 (2016): 676—88.

90

Hanne K. Collins et al., “Conveying and Detecting Listening During Live Conversation,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 153, no. 2 (2024): 473–94.

91

Abi-Esber et al., “Power of Preparation.” improves networking success: Mindy Truong, Nathanael J. Fast, and Jennifer Kim, “It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: Conversational Flow As a Predictor of Networking Success,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 158 (2020): 1–10.

92

Gus Cooney et al., “Switching Topics More Frequently Makes Boring Conversations Better” (в работе).

93

Tal Eyal, Mary Steffel, and Nicholas Epley, “Perspective Mistaking: Accurately Understanding the Mind of Another Requires Getting Perspective, Not Taking Perspective,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 114, no. 4 (2018): 547; Karen Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 113, no. 3 (2017): 430; Matteo Di Stasi, Alison Wood Brooks, and Jordi Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions Increases Personal Gains in Negotiations” (в работе).

94

В этой книге приводятся только реальные диалоги! Однако имена и другие подробности, касающиеся участников исследований и частных бесед, изменены из соображений конфиденциальности.

95

Matthias R. Mehl et al., “Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-Being Is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations,” Psychological Science 21, no. 4 (2010): 539–41.

96

Matthias R. Mehl et al., “Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-Being Is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations,” Psychological Science 21, no. 4 (2010): 539–41.

97

Michael Kardas, Amit Kumar, and Nicholas Epley, “Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 122, no. 3 (2022): 367.

98

Justine Coupland, “Small Talk: Social Functions,” Research on Language and Social Interaction 36, no. 1 (2003): 1–6.

99

Abi-Esber et al., “Power of Preparation.”

100

Конечно, если вы можете обсуждать эти темы с кем угодно, это еще не значит, что вы должны обсуждать их со всеми. Даже темы, понятные всем и каждому, чувствительны к контексту. Возьмем, к примеру, заголовки новостей, которые кажутся очевидным материалом для беседы. Конечно, неплохо следить за важными событиями, происходящими в мире, чтобы быть готовым к их обсуждению. Но в наши дни у новостей есть один подвох: люди получают информацию из разных источников, с разной подачей и разной трактовкой. Эти различия могут стать почвой для увлекательного разговора или же с самого начала внести раскол, подчеркнув, что мы совершенно по-разному воспринимаем реальность.

101

Ira Glass, “House on Loon Lake,” This American Life, November 16, 2001.

102

Другие эпизоды этого подкаста тоже могут послужить источником нешаблонных вступлений для беседы. В эпизоде «Картография» говорили о людях, которые составляют карты по необычным ориентирам, например трещинам на городском тротуаре или домам голливудских звезд. Майк спрашивает собеседника: «Что бы вы хотели нанести на карту?» или «Что, если бы мы наносили на карту запахи вместо названий улиц?». Такой вопрос однажды привел к разговору о том, как его коллеги относятся к разным цветам и как друзья его жены воспринимают реальность.

103

Kardas, Kumar, and Epley, “Overly Shallow?”; Yeomans and Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation.”

104

James Parker, “An Ode to Small Talk,” Atlantic, October 2020.

105

Kardas, Kumar, and Epley, “Overly Shallow?”

106

Cooney et al., “Switching Topics More Frequently.”

107

Как мы увидим в главе 4, посвященной легкости беседы, основание пирамиды тоже может приносить удовольствие. Успех любой темы зависит от вложенных в нее эмоций. Смысл жизни вполне может стать темой для small talk, если обсудить его в общих словах, не вдаваясь в подробности, а разговор о холодных оладьях способен превратиться в особенную, значимую дискуссию, если добавить в него искру.

108

Diana I. Tamir and Jason P. Mitchell, “Disclosing Information About the Self Is Intrinsically Rewarding,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 109, no. 21 (2012): 8038–43.

109

Michael Yeomans, “A Concrete Example of Construct Construction in Natural Language,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 162 (2021): 81–94.

110

Maya Rossignac-Milon et al., “Merged Minds: Generalized Shared Reality in Dyadic Relationships,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 120, no. 4 (2021): 882.

111

Michael L. Slepian and Katharine H. Green-away, “The Benefits and Burdens of Keeping Others’ Secrets,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 78 (2018): 220–32; Michael L. Slepian and Edythe Moulton-Tetlock, “Confiding Secrets and Well-Being,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 10, no. 4 (2019): 472–84; Michael L. Slepian and James N. Kirby, “To Whom Do We Confide Our Secrets?” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 44, no. 7 (2018): 1008–23; Leslie John, Michael L. Slepian, and Diana Tamir, “Tales of Two Motives: Disclosure and Concealment,” Current Opinion in Psychology 31 (2020).

112

Alison Wood Brooks et al., “Mitigating Malicious Envy: Why Successful Individuals Should Reveal Their Failures,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 148, no. 4 (2019): 667; Annabelle R. Roberts, Emma E. Levine, and Ovul Sezer, “Hiding Success,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 120, no. 5 (2021): 1261.

113

Emma M. Templeton et al., “Long Gaps Between Turns Are Awkward for Strangers But Not for Friends,” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B 378, no. 1875 (2023); Stav Atir, Kristina A. Wald, and Nicholas Epley, “Talking with Strangers Is Surprisingly Informative,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 34 (2022): e2206992119.

114

Abi-Esber et al., “Power of Preparation.”

115

Hanne K. Collins and Alison Wood Brooks, “Call-backs in Conversation” (в работе).

116

Grant Packard, Yang Li, and Jonah Berger, “When Language Matters,” Journal of Consumer Research (2023): ucad080.

117

Dennis Kurzon, “Towards a Typology of Silence,” Journal of Pragmatics 39, no. 10 (2007): 1673–88; Emma M. Templeton et al., “Fast Response Times Signal Social Connection in Conversation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 4 (2022): e2116915119.

118

Cooney et al., “Switching Topics More Frequently.”

119

Yeomans and Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation.”

120

Yeomans and Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation.”

121

Janet B. Bavelas, Linda Coates, and Trudy Johnson, “Listeners as Co-Narrators,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79, no. 6 (2000): 941; Hanne K. Collins, “When Listening Is Spoken,” Current Opinion in Psychology 47 (2022).

122

Какой конфуз, правда? (фр.) Прим. пер.

123

Levi, Reawakening, 45.

124

Бывший генеральный директор компании Theranos, осужденная за мошенничество. Прим. пер.

125

Dave Itzkoff, “Carrie Fisher, Child of Hollywood and ‘Star Wars’ Royalty, Dies at 60,” New York Times, December 27, 2016; Carrie Fisher and Rob Delaney, Carrie Fisher: The Memoirs (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2018).

126

Carrie Fisher, Postcards from the Edge (New York; Simon & Schuster, 2008).

127

Carrie Fisher, Postcards from the Edge screenplay (1988).

128

Carrie Fisher, Surrender the Pink (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1990).

129

“Actress and Author Carrie Fisher,” Fresh Air, NPR, February 21, 1997.

130

“Actress and Novelist Carrie Fisher,” Fresh Air, NPR, February 4, 2004.

131

“Carrie Fisher Opens Up About ‘Star Wars,’ The Gold Bikini and Her On-Set Affair,” Fresh Air, NPR, Novemer 28, 2016.

132

Terry Gross, All I Did Was Ask: Conversations with Writers, Actors, Musicians, and Artists (New York: Hachette, 2004).

133

Matteo Di Stasi, Alison Wood Brooks, and Jordi Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions Increases Personal Gains in Negotiations” (в работе); Karen Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 113, no. 3 (2017): 430.

134

“Behavior: The Art of Not Listening,” Time, January 24, 1969; Janet B. Bavelas, Linda Coates, and Trudy Johnson, “Listeners as Co-narrators,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79.6 (2000): 941.

135

Julia A. Minson et al., “Eliciting the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth: The Effect of Question Phrasing on Deception,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 147 (2018): 76–93; Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John, “The Surprising Power of Questions,” Harvard Business Review 96, no. 3 (2018): 60–67.

136

Tal Eyal, Mary Steffel, and Nicholas Epley, “Perspective Mistaking: Accurately Understanding the Mind of Another Requires Getting Perspective, Not Taking Perspective,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 114, no. 4 (2018): 547.

137

Eric Hedin, “Asking Questions and Human Exceptionalism,” Evolution News, August 7, 2023.

138

Lindsay Stern, “What Can Bonobos Teach Us about the Nature of Language?” Smithsonian Magzine, July 2020.

139

Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask”; Michael Yeomans et al., “It Helps to Ask: The Cumulative Benefits of Asking Follow-Up Questions,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 117, no. 6 (2019): 1139–44; Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions”; Brooks and John, “Surprising Power of Questions”; Grant E. Donnelly, Hanne Collins, and Alison Wood Brooks, “How Prisoner Apologies Influence Parole Decisions” (в работе).

140

Stav Atir, Kristina A. Wald, and Nicholas Epley, “Talking with Strangers Is Surprisingly Informative,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 34 (2022): e2206992119.

141

Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions.”

142

Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

143

Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

144

Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions”; Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

145

Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

146

Robin M. Hogarth, Tomás Lejarraga, and Emre Soyer, “The Two Settings of Kind and Wicked Learning Environments,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 24, no. 5 (2015): 379–85.

147

Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

148

Einav Hart, Eric M. VanEpps, and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “The (Better Than Expected) Consequences of Asking Sensitive Questions,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 162 (2021): 136–54.

149

Einav Hart, Eric M. VanEpps, and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “The (Better Than Expected) Consequences of Asking Sensitive Questions,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 162 (2021): 136–54.

150

Tami Kim, Kate Barasz, and Leslie K. John, “Consumer Disclosure,” Consumer Psychology Review 4, no. 1 (2021): 59–69; Li Jiang et al., “Fostering Perceptions of Authenticity via Sensitive Self-Disclosure,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied 28, no. 4 (2022): 898.

151

Susan Sprecher, “Closeness and Other Affiliative Outcomes Generated from the Fast Friends Procedure: A Comparison with a Small-Talk Task and Unstructured Self-Disclosure and the Moderating Role of Mode of Communication,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 38, no. 5 (2021): 1452–71; Arthur Aron et al., “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 23, no. 4 (1997): 363–77.

152

Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond (New York: Bantam Books, 2007).

153

Победительница скромно вернула мне деньги после занятия (понимая, что преподаватель не может раздавать денежные призы). Настоящая награда — победа в игре.

154

Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions.”

155

Minson et al., “Eliciting the Truth, the Whole Truth.”

156

Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

157

Huang et al.,“It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

158

Huang et al.,“It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

159

Валидация в психологии — понимание и принятие переживаний, мыслей и поступков другого человека. Прим. ред.

160

Monica Lewinsky, interview by Barbara Walters, March 3, 1999, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUUATD_pfYE.

161

Huang et al.,“It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask.”

162

Brooks and John, “Surprising Power of Questions”; Chris Orlob, “4 Tips for Nailing Your Sales Discovery Calls,” Gong, June 18, 2017.

163

Alison Wood Brooks and Michael Yeomans, “Boomerasking: Answering Your Own Questions” (в работе).

164

Исследования Gong также показывают, что самые успешные торговые представители, как правило, распределяют свои вопросы равномерно в течение телефонного разговора, с постоянными уточняющими вопросами, в то время как среднестатистические торговцы выдают все свои вопросы уже в начале разговора.

165

Minson et al., “Eliciting the Truth, the Whole Truth.”

166

Гарри Стайлз — популярный английский певец и актер. Прим. ред.

167

Daniel L. Ames and Susan T. Fiske, “Perceived Intent Motivates People to Magnify Observed Harms,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 112, no. 12 (2015): 3599–605.

168

Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions.”

169

Anita Pomerantz, “Offering a Candidate Answer: An Information Seeking Strategy,” Communications Monographs 55, no. 4 (1988): 360–73.

170

Di Stasi, Brooks, and Quoidbach, “Asking Open-Ended Questions.”

171

Aron et al., “Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.”

172

Eli J. Finkel, The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work (New York: Penguin, 2019); Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel, and Samantha Joel, “Mate Evaluation Theory,” Psychological Review 130, no. 1 (2023): 211.

173

Rajesh Ranganath, Dan Jurafsky, and Daniel A. McFarland, “Detecting Friendly, Flirtatious, Awkward, and Assertive Speech in Speed-Dates,” Computer Speech and Language 27, no. 1 (2013): 89–115.

174

“Billboard Hot 100TM: Week of June 11, 2005,” Billboard.

175

Leslie Bennetts, “The Unsinkable Jennifer Aniston: Vanity Fair,” Vanity Fair, September 2005.

176

Nicole Abi-Esber, Adam Mastroianni, and Alison Wood Brooks, “How Verbal, Nonverbal, and Paralinguistic Conversational Cues Shape Impressions” (в работе).

177

Harry T. Reis, Annie Regan, and Sonja Lyubomirsky, “Interpersonal Chemistry: What Is It, How Does It Emerge, and How Does It Operate?” Perspectives on Psychological Science 17, no. 2 (2022): 530–58.

178

Emma M. Templeton et al., “Long Gaps Between Turns Are Awkward for Strangers But Not for Friends,” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B 378, no. 1875 (2023).

179

James A. Russell, “A Circumplex Model of Affect,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 39, no. 6 (1980): 1161.

180

Jonathan Smallwood and Jonathan W. Schooler, “The Science of Mind Wandering: Empirically Navigating the Stream of Consciousness,” Annual Review of Psychology 66 (2015): 487–518.

181

Daniel Smilek, Jonathan S. A. Carriere, and J. Allan Cheyne, “Out of Mind, Out of Sight: Eye Blinking as Indicator and Embodiment of Mind Wandering,” Psychological Science 21, no. 6 (2010): 786–89.

182

Grant Packard, Yang Li, and Jonah Berger, “When Language Matters,” Journal of Consumer Research, December 22, 2023; Jonah Berger, Wendy W. Moe, and David A. Schweidel, “What Holds Attention? Linguistic Drivers of Engagement,” Journal of Marketing 87, no. 5 (2023): 793–809.

183

Hanne K. Collins et al., “Conveying and Detecting Listening During Live Conversation,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 153, no. 2 (2023): 473–94.

184

Emma M. Templeton et al., “Fast Response Times Signal Social Connection in Conversation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 4 (2022): e2116915119.

185

Collins et al., “Conveying and Detecting Listening.”

186

Herbert H. Clark and Susan E. Brennan, “Grounding in Communication,” in L. B. Resnick, J. M. Levine, and S. D. Teasley, eds., Perspectives on Socially Shared Cognition, 127–49 (New York: American Psychological Association, 1991).

187

Andrew J. Oswald, Eugenio Proto, and Daniel Sgroi, “Happiness and Productivity,” Journal of Labor Economics 33, no. 4 (2015): 789–822.

188

Alison Wood Brooks, “Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 3 (2014): 1144.

189

Walter Benjamin, “The Author as Producer,” in Victor Burgin, ed., Thinking Photography (Red Globe Press, 1982): 15–31.

190

Barbara L. Fredrickson, “The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology: The Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions,” American Psychologist 56, no. 3 (2001): 218.

191

Rachel Hajar, “Laughter in Medicine,” Heart Views 24, no. 2 (2023): 124.

192

Anthony D. Ong, “Pathways Linking Positive Emotion and Health in Later Life,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 19, no. 6 (2010): 358–62.

193

Amy C. Edmondson, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2018).

194

Tami Kim, Kate Barasz, and Leslie K. John, “Consumer Disclosure,” Consumer Psychology Review 4, no. 1 (2021): 59–69.

195

Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas, Humor, Seriously: Why Humor Is a Secret Weapon in Business and Life (And How Anyone Can Harness It. Even You) (New York: Crown Currency, 2021); Brad Bitterly and Alison Wood Brooks, “Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User’s Guide to Humor at Work,” Harvard Business Review, July — August 2020.

196

Bradford T. Bitterly, Alison Wood Brooks, and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Risky Business: When Humor Increases and Decreases Status,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 112, no. 3 (2017): 431.

197

Fredrickson, “Role of Positive Emotions.” “Yes, and” mantra: Kelly Leonard and Tom Yorton, Yes, and: How Improvisatio Reverses “No, But” Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration (New York: HarperCollins, 2015).

198

Bitterly, Brooks, and Schweitzer, “Risky Business.”

199

A. Peter McGraw and Caleb Warren, “Benign Violations: Making Immoral Behavior Funny,” Psychological Science 21, no. 8 (2010): 1141–49.

200

Aaker and Bagdonas, Humor, Seriously. “I feel like Elizabeth Taylor’s”: Yitzi Weiner, “Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Ric Keller Is Helping to Change Our World,” Medium, August 19, 2022.

201

“Don Rickles Roasts Frank Sinatra,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-KeTNU-ods.

202

Bitterly, Brooks, and Schweitzer, “Risky Business.”

203

Aaker and Bagdonas Humor, Seriously. views of the joker’s confidence rose: Bitterly, Brooks, and Schweitzer, “Risky Business.”

204

Benedict Carey, “Robert Provine, an Authority on Laughter, Is Dead at 76,” New York Times, October 28, 2019.

205

Robert R. Provine, Laughter: A Scientific Investigation (New York: Viking, 2001).

206

James J. Gross, “Emotion Regulation: Current Status and Future Prospects,” Psychological Inquiry 26, no. 1 (2015): 1–26.

207

Hanne K. Collins and Alison Wood Brooks, “Call-backs in Conversation” (в работе).

208

Ting Zhang et al., “A ‘Present’ for the Future: The Unexpected Value of Rediscovery,” Psychological Science 25, no. 10 (2014): 1851–60.

209

Nicole Abi-Esber et al., “The Power of Preparation: Brainstorming Flexible Topics Before Conversations Begin” (working); Gus Cooney et al.,“Switching Topics More Frequently Makes Boring Conversations Better” (в работе); Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

210

Matthew Gervais and David Sloan Wilson, “The Evolution and Functions of Laughter and Humor: A Synthetic Approach,” Quarterly Review of Biology 80, no. 4 (2005): 395–430; Robert R. Provine, “Contagious Laughter: Laughter Is a Sufficient Stimulus for Laughs and Smiles,” Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society 30, no. 1 (1992): 1–4.

211

Jo-Anne Bachorowski, Moria J. Smoski, and Michael J. Owren, “The Acoustic Features of Human Laughter,” Journal of the Acoustical Society of America 110, no. 3 (2001): 1581–97; Jo-Anne Bachorowski and Michael J. Owren, “Not All Laughs Are Alike: Voiced but Not Unvoiced Laughter Readily Elicits Positive Affect,” Psychological Science 12, no. 3 (2001): 252–257.

212

Robert R. Provine, “Laughter,” American Scientist 84, no. 1 (1996): 38–45; Robert R. Provine, “Laughing, Tickling, and the Evolution of Speech and Self,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 13, no. 6 (2004): 215–18.

213

Автор имеет в виду когнитивный эффект под названием Saying-is-believing, когда последующие воспоминания людей трансформируются под воздействием того, как они сами рассказывали о том или ином событии. Прим. ред.

214

T. Bradford Bitterly, Alison Wood Brooks, Maurice Schweitzer, and Jennifer Aaker, “Gender and Laughter” (в работе).

215

Elaine Chan and Jaideep Sengupta, “Insincere Flattery Actually Works: A Dual Attitudes Perspective,” Journal of Marketing Research 47, no. 1 (2010): 122–33.

216

Erica J. Boothby, and Vanessa K. Bohns, “Why a Simple Act of Kindness Is Not as Simple as It Seems: Underestimating the Positive Impact of Our Compliments on Others,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 47, no. 5 (2021): 826–40; Vanessa Bohns, You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Powers of Persuasion, and Why It Matters (WW Norton, 2021).

217

Lorne Campbell and Garth J. O. Fletcher, “Romantic Relationships, Ideal Standards, and Mate Selection,” Current Opinion in Psychology 1 (2015): 97–100.

218

Aaker and Bagdonas, Humor, Seriously.

219

Robert D. McFadden, “Gloria Vanderbilt Dies at 95; Built a Fashion Empire,” New York Times, June 17, 2019.

220

“Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper’s Beautiful Conversation About Grief,” YouTube (2019), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YB46h1koicQ.

221

Hank Stuever, “2019’s Best TV Moment? It Was Stephen Colbert Answering Anderson Cooper’s Question About Grief,” Washington Post, December 23, 2019.

222

Robin Pogrebin, “Anderson Cooper Explores Grief and Loss in Deeply Personal Podcast,” New York Times, November 28, 2022.

223

David Elkind, “Egocentrism in Adolescence,” Child Development 38, no. 4 (1967): 1025–34.

224

Michael Yeomans and Alison Wood Brooks, “Topic Preference Detection in Conversation: A Novel Approach to Understand Perspective Taking” (в работе).

225

Becky Ka Ying Lau et al., “The Extreme Illusion of Understanding,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 151, no. 11 (2022): 2957.

226

Conor Kenny, “The Single Biggest Problem in Communication Is the Illusion That It Has Taken Place,” Irish Times, November 9, 2020.

227

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in. Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

228

Jacob Uitti, “Who Wrote the Historic Song ‘Respect’?” AmericanSongwriter.com, 2023.

229

Rob Voigt et al., “Language from Police Body Camera Footage Shows Racial Disparities in Officer Respect,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 114, no. 25 (2017): 6521–26.

230

Laurence R. Horn and Gregory L. Ward, eds., The Handbook of Pragmatics (Oxford: Blackwell, 2004).

231

В оклендском исследовании граждане предпочитали, чтобы к ним обращались официально и по фамилии, например: «Добрый вечер, мистер Водитель» или «Возвращаю вам ваши права, мисс Баранка». Неуважением считалось, если полицейские обращались к гражданам по имени и неформально: парень, брат, начальник, друг, приятель, чувак, старина, товарищ, братан, сестра, сынок, мужик, шеф.

232

Amartya Sen, Identity and Violence: The Illusion of Destiny (New York: W.W. Norton, 2007).

233

Водители, которых останавливали в ходе исследования, оценили «извинения» как самую уважительную лингвистическую категорию. Язык извинений свидетельствует о том, что полицейский осознаёт, что он тоже допускает ошибки, или признаёт, что это неприятная ситуация для водителя. Удивительную силу извинений мы еще обсудим в главе 8.

234

Наименее уважительные вербальные проявления, к примеру фраза «Руки на руль» и требования выполнить определенные действия, демонстрировали, что в глазах полицейских граждане не заслуживают заботы. Поскольку «Руки на руль» — классическая фраза из кинофильма, неудивительно, что ее сочли наименее уважительной.

235

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 10th ed. (New York: Bantam Books, 2007).

236

Trevor Foulk, Andrew Woolum, and Amir Erez, “Catching Rudeness Is Like Catching a Cold: The Contagion Effects of Low-Intensity Negative Behaviors,” Journal of Applied Psychology 101, no. 1 (2016): 50; Andrew Woolum, Trevor Foulk, and Amir Erez, “A Review of the Short-Term Implications of Discrete, Episodic Incivility,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass 18, no. 1 (2024): e12918.

237

Olga Stavrova, Daniel Ehlebracht, and Kathleen D. Vohs, “Victims, Perpetrators, or Both? The Vicious Cycle of Disrespect and Cynical Beliefs About Human Nature,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 149, no. 9 (2020): 1736.

238

Carl R. Rogers and Richard Evans Farson, Active Listening (Connecticut: Martino Fine Books, 2015).

239

Avraham N. Kluger et al., “A Meta-Analytic Systematic Review and Theory of the Effects of Perceived Listening on Work Outcomes,” Journal of Business and Psychology 39, no. 2 (2024): 295–344.

240

Hanne K. Collins et al., “Conveying and Detecting Listening During Live Conversation,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General (2023); Hanne K. Collins, “When Listening Is Spoken,” Current Opinion in Psychology 47 (2022): 101402.

241

Harry T. Reis and Shelly L. Gable, “Responsiveness,” Current Opinion in Psychology 1 (2015): 67–71.

242

Malia F. Mason et al., “Wandering Minds: The Default Network and Stimulus-Independent Thought,” Science 315, no. 5810 (2007): 393–95.

243

Bruno Galantucci, Simon Garrod, and Gareth Roberts, “Experimental Semiotics,” Language and Linguistics Compass 6, no. 8 (2012): 477–93.

244

Gareth Roberts, Benjamin Langstein, and Bruno Galantucci, “(In) Sensitivity to Incoherence in Human Communication,” Language and Communication 47 (2016): 15–22.

245

Эту грамматически правильную, но бессмысленную фразу сформулировал лингвист Ноам Хомский.

246

Collins et al., “Conveying and Detecting Listening.” the collaborative process of grounding: Herbert H. Clark and Susan E. Brennan, “Grounding in Communication,” in L. B. Resnick, J. M. Levine, and S. D. Teasley, eds., Perspectives on Socially Shared Cognition, 127–49 (New York: American Psychological Association, 1991).

247

Janet B. Bavelas et al., “The Theoretical and Research Basis of Co-Constructing Meaning in Dialogue,” Journal of Solution Focused Practices 1, no. 2 (2014): 3.

248

Janet B. Bavelas, Linda Coates, and Trudy Johnson, “Listeners as Co-narrators,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79, no. 6 (2000): 941.

249

Michael Yeomans et al., “Conversational Receptiveness: Improving Engagement with Opposing Views,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 160 (2020): 131–48.

250

Collins, “When Listening Is Spoken.” “this little glittery cloud”: Wesley Morris, “Taylor Swift: Miss Americana’ Review: A Star, Surprisingly Alone,” New York Times, January 30, 2020.

251

Bitterly, Wood Brooks, Schweitzer, and Aaker, “Gender and Laughter” (в работе).

252

Gus Cooney et al., “The Many Minds Problem: Disclosure in Dyadic Versus Group Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 31 (2020): 22–27.

253

R = [N·(N — 1)]/2, где N — количество людей в группе, а R — количество уникальных связей между ними.

254

Emma M. Templeton et al., “Fast Response Times Signal Social Connection in Conversation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 4 (2022): e2116915119.

255

Elizabeth Stokoe et al., “When Delayed Responses Are Productive: Being Persuaded Following Resistance in Conversation,” Journal of Pragmatics 155 (2020): 70–82.

256

So-Hyeon Shim et al., “The Impact of Leader Eye Gaze on Disparity in Member Influence: Implications for Process and Performance in Diverse Groups,” Academy of Management Journal 64, no. 6 (2021): 1873–900; Sophie Wohltjen and Thalia Wheatley, “Eye Contact Marks the Rise and Fall of Shared Attention in Conversation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 118, no. 37 (2021): e2106645118.

257

Lynn Smith-Lovin and Charles Brody, “Interruptions in Group Discussions: The Effects of Gender and Group Composition,” American Sociological Review (1989): 424–35.

258

Cooney et al., “Many Minds Problem.” status as the respect and prestige: J. Stuart Bunderson and Ray E. Reagans, “Power, Status, and Learning in Organizations,” Organization Science 22, no. 5 (2011): 1182–94.

259

Статус (уважение и престиж в глазах окружающих) заметно отличается от власти (контроля над ресурсами). В этой главе мы обсуждаем статус, но многие из перечисленных особенностей применимы и к разным уровням власти. Статус и власть коррелируют друг с другом, но не на 100 процентов. Например, большинство из нас знает людей, обладающих практически безграничным контролем над ресурсами (властью), но лишенных уважения и престижа в глазах окружающих (статуса), и наоборот.

260

Joey T. Cheng et al., “Two Ways to the Top: Evidence That Dominance and Prestige Are Distinct Yet Viable Avenues to Social Rank and Influence,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 104, no. 1 (2013): 103; Dana R. Carney, “The Nonverbal Expression of Power, Status, and Dominance,” Current Opinion in Psychology 33 (2020): 256–64.

261

Elad N. Sherf et al., “Centralization of Member Voice in Teams: Its Effects on Expertise Utilization and Team Performance,” Journal of Applied Psychology 103, no. 8 (2018): 813.

262

Victoria L. Brescoll, “Who Takes the Floor and Why: Gender, Power, and Volubility in Organizations,” Administrative Science Quarterly 56, no. 4 (2011): 622–41.

263

Katherine Coffman et al., “Gender Stereotypes in Deliberation and Team Decisions,” Games and Economic Behavior 129 (2021): 329–49.

264

Amy C. Edmondson and Zhike Lei, “Psychological Safety: The History, Renaissance, and Future of an Interpersonal Construct,” Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior 1, no. 1 (2014): 23–43; Amy C. Edmondson, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, 2018).

265

Adam D. Galinsky, Derek D. Rucker, and Joe C. Magee, “Power and Perspective-Taking: A Critical Examination,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 67 (2016): 91–92.

266

Catarina R. Fernandes et al., “What Is Your Status Portfolio? Higher Status Variance Across Groups Increases Interpersonal Helping but Decreases Intrapersonal Well-Being,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 165 (2021): 56–75.

267

Constantinos G. V. Coutifaris and Adam M. Grant, “Taking Your Team Behind the Curtain: The Effects of Leader Feedback-Sharing and Feedback-Seeking on Team Psychological Safety,” Organization Science 33, no. 4 (2022): 1574–98.

268

Alison Wood Brooks et al., “Mitigating Malicious Envy: Why Successful Individuals Should Reveal Their Failures,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 148, no. 4 (2019): 667.

269

Nicole Abi-Esber, Ethan Burris, and Alison Wood Brooks, “Eye Gaze” (в работе).

270

Tom Foulsham et al., “Gaze Allocation in a Dynamic Situation: Effects of Social Status and Speaking,” Cognition 117, no. 3 (2010): 319–31.

271

So-Hyeon Shim et al., “The Impact of Leader Eye Gaze on Disparity in Member Influence: Implications for Process and Performance in Diverse Groups,” Academy of Management Journal 64, no. 6 (2021): 1873–900.

272

Adam Galinsky, “How to Speak up for Yourself,” TED Talk, November 23, 2016.

273

Mark R. Leary and Robin M. Kowalski, “Impression Management: A Literature Review and Two-Component Model,” Psychological Bulletin 107, no. 1 (1990): 34.

274

Zachariah C. Brown, Eric M. Anicich, and Adam D. Galinsky, “Compensatory Conspicuous Communication: Low Status Increases Jargon Use,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 161 (2020): 274–90.

275

Christopher Oveis et al., “Laughter Conveys Status,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 65 (2016): 109–15.

276

Maria Seehausen et al., “Effects of Empathic Paraphrasing — Extrinsic Emotion Regulation in Social Conflict,” Frontiers in Psychology 3 (2012): 31892.

277

Bradford T. Bitterly, Alison Wood Brooks, and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Risky Business: When Humor Increases and Decreases Status,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 112, no. 3 (2017): 431.

278

5 футов = 1,52 м. Прим. ред.

279

Компания, разрабатывающая ПО для управления деловыми онлайн-встречами. Прим. ред.

280

J. Elise Keith, Where the Action Is: The Meetings That Make or Break Your Organization (Portland, OR: Second Rise, 2018).

281

Cooney et al., “Many Minds Problem.” Groups are remarkably good at adjusting: Tanya Stivers, “Is Conversation Built for Two? The Partitioning of Social Interaction,” Research on Language and Social Interaction 54, no. 1 (2021): 1–19.

282

Keith, Where the Action Is.

283

Кит рекомендует руководителям совещаний сочетать разбивку на группы и централизованные беседы, последовательно увеличивая состав участников обсуждения, например: «1–2–4 — все вместе», «1–2 — все вместе» или «1–3 — все вместе». В режиме «1–2–4 — все вместе» руководитель дает определенную тему или подсказку всей группе — сначала для самостоятельного размышления (1), затем для обсуждения в парах (2), затем для дискуссии в объединенных парах (4) и, наконец, для разбора в общей группе (все вместе). Такая последовательность позволяет людям критически размышлять самостоятельно, использовать преимущества приватности парной беседы, а также полагаться на совокупные знания, которые рождаются в больших группах. Независимо от последовательности, разделенные и централизованные беседы могут разворачиваться быстро (за несколько минут) или в течение длительных периодов времени (нескольких дней или даже недель).

284

Francesca Valsesia, Joseph C. Nunes, and Andrea Ordanini, “I Am Not Talking to You: Partitioning an Audience in an Attempt to Solve The Self-Promotion Dilemma,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 165 (2021): 76–89.

285

Tanya Stivers, “Is Conversation Built for Two? The Partitioning of Social Interaction,” Research on Language and Social Interaction 54, no. 1 (2021): 1–19.

286

Michele L. Gelfand, Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: Tight and Loose Cultures and the Secret Signals That Direct Our Lives (New York: Scribner, 2019).

287

Michael Yeomans et al.,“Conversational Receptiveness: Improving Engagement with Opposing Views,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 160 (2020): 131–48.

288

James A. Russell, “A Circumplex Model of Affect,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 39, no. 6 (1980): 1161.

289

Ученые называют ее «аффективным циклом», поскольку аффект — это эмоция, но вряд ли кому-то захочется называть ее «эмоциональным циклом», правда?

290

Gerben A. Van Kleef, Carsten K. W. De Dreu, and Antony S. R. Manstead, “The Interpersonal Effects of Anger and Happiness in Negotiations,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 86, no. 1 (2004): 57; Alison Wood Brooks and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Can Nervous Nelly Negotiate? How Anxiety Causes Negotiators to Make Low First Offers, Exit Early, and Earn Less Profit,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 115, no. 1 (2011): 43–54.

291

Herbert H. Clark and Susan E. Brennan, “Grounding in Communication,” in L. B. Resnick, J. M. Levine, and S. D. Teasley, eds., Perspectives on Socially Shared Cognition, 127– 49 (New York: American Psychological Association, 1991); Herbert H. Clark, Using Language (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1996).

292

Joseph P. Forgas, “Feeling and Doing: Affective Influences on Interpersonal Behavior,” Psychological Inquiry 13, no. 1 (2002): 1–28.

293

Luiz Pessoa, “How Do Emotion and Motivation Direct Executive Control?” Trends in Cognitive Sciences 13, no. 4 (2009): 160–66.

294

Michael Yeomans, Maurice Schweitzer, and Alison Wood Brooks, “The Conversational Circumplex: Identifying, Prioritizing, and Pursuing Informational and Relational Motives in Conversation,” Current Opinion in Psychology 44 (2022): 293–302.

295

Deepak Malhotra, “The Desire to Win: The Effects of Competitive Arousal on Motivation and Behavior,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 111, no. 2 (2010): 139–46.

296

Joy Hirsch et al., “Interpersonal Agreement and Disagreement During Face-to-Face Dialogue: An fNIRS Investigation,” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 14 (2021).

297

Julia A. Minson and Frances S. Chen, “Receptiveness to Opposing Views: Conceptualization and Integrative Review,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 26, no. 2 (2022): 93– 111; Julia A. Minson, Frances S. Chen, and Catherine H. Tinsley, “Why Won’t You Listen to Me? Measuring Receptiveness to Opposing Views,” Management Science 66, no. 7 (2020): 3069–94.

298

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299

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300

Michael Yeomans, “Argue Better by Signalling Your Receptiveness with These Words,” Psyche (2021).

301

^◊ Здесь и далее: название социальной сети, принадлежащей Meta Platforms Inc., признанной экстремистской организацией на территории РФ.

302

Roderick I. Swabb, Robert B. Lount, Jr., Seunghoo Chung, and Jeanne M. Brett, “Setting the Stage for Negotiations: How Superordinate Goal Dialogues Promote Trust and Joint Gain in Negotiations Between Teams,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 167 (2021): 157–169.

303

Hanne K. Collins et al., “Underestimating Counterparts’ Learning Goals Impairs Conflictual Conversations,” Psychological Science 33, no. 10 (2022): 1732–52.

304

Stav Atir, Kristina A. Wald, and Nicholas Epley, “Talking with Strangers Is Surprisingly Informative,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 34 (2022): e2206992119.

305

Zhiying Ren and Rebecca Schaumberg, “Disagreement Gets Mistaken for Bad Listening,” Psychological Science 35, no 5 (2024).

306

Robin M. Hogarth and Hillel J. Einhorn, “Order Effects in Belief Updating: The Belief-Adjustment Model,” Cognitive Psychology 24, no. 1 (1992): 1–55.

307

J. Nicole Shelton and Jennifer A. Richeson, “Interracial Interactions: A Relational Approach,” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 38 (2006): 121–81.

308

J. Nicole Shelton et al., “Ironic Effects of Racial Bias During Interracial Interactions,” Psychological Science 16, no. 5 (2005): 397–402.

309

Tamar Szabó Gendler, “On the Epistemic Costs of Implicit Bias,” Philosophical Studies 156, no. 1 (2011): 33–63.

310

Clayton R. Critcher and David Dunning, “Egocentric Pattern Projection: How Implicit Personality Theories Recapitulate the Geography of the Self,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 97, no. 1 (2009): 1.

311

Zidong Zhao, Haran Sened, and Diana I. Tamir, “Egocentric Projection Is a Rational Strategy for Accurate Emotion Prediction,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 109 (2023): 104521.

312

Jeff C. Cho and Eric D. Knowles, “I’m Like You and You’re Like Me: Social Projection and Self-Stereotyping Both Help Explain Self — Other Correspondence,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 104, no. 3 (2013): 444.

313

Gary Marks and Norman Miller, “Ten Years of Research on the False-Consensus Effect: An Empirical and Theoretical Review,” Psychological Bulletin 102, no. 1 (1987): 72.

314

Susan A. J. Birch and Paul Bloom, “The Curse of Knowledge in Reasoning About False Beliefs,” Psychological Science 18, no. 5 (2007): 382–86; Ting Zhang, Kelly B. Harrington, and Elad N. Sherf, “The Errors of Experts: When Expertise Hinders Effective Provision and Seeking of Advice and Feedback,” Current Opinion in Psychology 43 (2022): 91–95; Ting Zhang, Dan J. Wang, and Adam D. Galinsky, “Learning Down to Train Up: Mentors Are More Effective When They Value Insights from Below,” Academy of Management Journal 66, no. 2 (2023): 604–37.

315

Thomas Gilovich, Kenneth Savitsky, and Victoria Husted Medvec, “The Illusion of Transparency: Biased Assessments of Others’ Ability to Read One’s Emotional States,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75, no. 2 (1998): 332.

316

Loran F. Nordgren, Kasia Banas, and Geoff MacDonald, “Empathy Gaps for Social Pain: Why People Underestimate the Pain of Social Suffering,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 100, no. 1 (2011): 120.

317

Eyal, Steffel, and Epley, “Perspective Mistaking.”

318

William Friend and Deepak Malhotra, “Psychological Barriers to Resolving Intergroup Conflict: An Extensive Review and Consolidation of the Literature,” Negotiation Journal 35, no. 4 (2019): 407–42.

319

Thomas F. Pettigrew and Linda R. Tropp, “A Meta-Analytic Test of Intergroup Contact Theory,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 90, no. 5 (2006): 751.

320

Alison Wood Brooks, “Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 3 (2014): 1144.

321

Jennifer S. Lerner, Deborah A. Small, and George Loewenstein, “Heart Strings and Purse Strings: Carryover Effects of Emotions on Economic Decisions,” Psychological Science 15, no. 5 (2004): 337–41.

322

James J. Gross, “Emotion Regulation: Conceptual and Empirical Foundations,” Handbook of Emotion Regulation 2 (2014): 3–20; James J. Gross, “Emotion Regulation: Current Status and Future Prospects,” Psychological Inquiry 26, no. 1 (2015): 1–26.

323

Alison Wood Brooks, “Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 3 (2014): 1144; Elizabeth Baily Wolf et al., “Managing Perceptions of Distress at Work: Reframing Emotion as Passion,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 137 (2016): 1–12.

324

Jennifer Hettema, Julie Steele, and William R. Miller, “Motivational Interviewing,” Annual Review of Clinical Psychology 1 (2005): 91–111.

325

Stefan G. Hofmann et al., “How to Handle Anxiety: The Effects of Reappraisal, Acceptance, and Suppression Strategies on Anxious Arousal,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 47, no. 5 (2009): 389–94; Jordi Quoidbach, Moïra Mikolajczak, and James J. Gross, “Positive Interventions: An Emotion Regulation Perspective,” Psychological Bulletin 141, no. 3 (2015): 655.

326

Alisa Yu, Justin M. Berg, and Julian J. Zlatev, “Emotional Acknowledgment: How Verbalizing Others’ Emotions Fosters Interpersonal Trust,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 164 (2021): 116–35.

327

Yael Millgram et al., “Knowledge About the Source of Emotion Predicts Emotion-Regulation Attempts, Strategies, and Perceived Emotion-Regulation Success,” Psychological Science 34, no. 11 (2023): 1244–55.

328

Sarah Bahr, “Feeling a Bit Cramped? ‘Couples Therapy’ May Look Familiar,” New York Times, April 16, 2021.

329

Matthew Fray, “The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late,” Atlantic, April 2022.

330

Olivia de Recat, Drawn Together: Illustrated True Love Stories (New York: Voracious, 2022).

331

Barry R. Schlenker and Bruce W. Darby, “The Use of Apologies in Social Predicaments,” Social Psychology Quarterly (1981): 271–78.

332

Ryan Fehr and Michele J. Gelfand, “When Apologies Work: How Matching Apology Components to Victims’ Self-Construals Facilitates Forgiveness,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 113, no. 1 (2010): 37–50.

333

Peter H. Kim et al., “Removing the Shadow of Suspicion: The Effects of Apology Versus Denial for Repairing Competence-Versus Integrity-Based Trust Violations,” Journal of Applied Psychology 89, no. 1 (2004): 104.

334

Karina Schumann, “The Psychology of Offering an Apology: Understanding the Barriers to Apologizing and How to Overcome Them,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 27, no. 2 (2018): 74–78.

335

Donald L. Ferrin, et al., “Silence Speaks Volumes: The Effectiveness of Reticence in Comparison to Apology and Denial for Responding to Integrity-and Competence-Based Trust Violations,” Journal of Applied Psychology 92, no. 4 (2007): 893.

336

Maurice E. Schweitzer, John C. Hershey, and Eric T. Bradlow, “Promises and Lies: Restoring Violated Trust,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 101, no. 1 (2006): 1–19.

337

Alison Wood Brooks, Hengchen Dai, and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “I’m Sorry About the Rain! Superfluous Apologies Demonstrate Empathic Concern and Increase Trust,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 5, no. 4 (2014): 467–74.

338

Karina Schumann, Emily G. Ritchie, and Amanda Forest, “The Social Consequences of Frequent Versus Infrequent Apologizing,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 49, no. 3 (2023): 331–43.

339

Karina Schumann, “Does Love Mean Never Having to Say You’re Sorry? Associations Between Relationship Satisfaction, Perceived Apology Sincerity, and Forgiveness,” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 29, no. 7 (2012): 997–1010.

340

“Deepwater Horizon: Oil Spills,” Damage Assessment, Remediation, and Restoration Program, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, https://darrp.noaa.gov/oil-spills/deepwater-horizon; “Environmental Costs,” Encyclopædia Britannica.

341

“Gulf Oil Leak,” CNN, May 27, 2010, transcript.

342

В октябре 2010 года, когда прошло достаточно времени для осмысления произошедшего, Хейворд принес более достойные извинения: «Взрыв в Мексиканском заливе стал ужасной трагедией, за которую, как глава компании BP на тот момент, я всегда буду чувствовать свою глубокую ответственность, независимо от того, на кого в конечном счете будет возложена вина».

343

“BP Chief to Gulf Residents: ‘I’m Sorry,’ ” CNN, May 30, 2010, transcript.

344

Roy J. Lewicki, Beth Polin, and Robert B. Lount, Jr., “An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies,” Negotiation and Conflict Management Research 9, no. 2 (2016): 177–96.

345

Ahmir Thompson, “Questlove Apologizes for Offensive Japan Comments,” Okayplayer (2017), https://www.okayplayer.com/news/questlove-apologizes-offensive-japan-instagrams.html.

346

Roy J. Lewicki, and Chad Brinsfield, “Trust Repair,” Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior 4 (2017): 287–313.

347

Grant E. Donnelly, Hanne Collins, and Alison Wood Brooks, “How Prisoner Apologies Influence Parole Decisions” (в работе).

348

Roy J. Lewicki, Beth Polin, and Robert B. Lount, Jr., “An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies,” Negotiation and Conflict Management Research 9, no. 2 (2016): 177–96.

349

Maurice E. Schweitzer, John C. Hershey, and Eric T. Bradlow, “Promises and Lies: Restoring Violated Trust,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 101, no. 1 (2006): 1–19.

350

Schumann, “Psychology of Offering an Apology.” faster apologies are better: Jimin Nam et al., “Speedy Activists: How Firm Response Time to Sociopolitical Events Influences Consumer Behavior,” Journal of Consumer Psychology 33, no. 4 (2023): 632–44; Schumann, Ritchie, and Forest, “Social Consequences of Frequent Versus Infrequent Apologizing.”

351

Nicole Abi-Esber et al., “ ‘Just Letting You Know...’: Underestimating Others’ Desire for Constructive Feedback,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 123, no. 6 (2022): 1362.

352

Emma E. Levine and Maurice E. Schweitzer, “Are Liars Ethical? On the Tension Between Benevolence and Honesty,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 53 (2014): 107–17; Emma Levine and David Munguia Gomez, “ ‘I’m Just Being Honest’: When and Why Honesty Enables Help Versus Harm,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 120, no. 1 (2021): 33.

353

Emma E. Levine et al., “Who Is Trustworthy? Predicting Trustworthy Intentions and Behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 115, no. 3 (2018): 468; Emma E. Levine, Annabelle R. Roberts, and Taya R. Cohen, “Difficult Conversations: Navigating the Tension Between Honesty and Benevolence,” Current Opinion in Psychology 31 (2020): 38–43.

354

Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie John, “Start with Positive Feedback” (в работе).

355

Hayley Blunden et al., “Eliciting Advice Instead of Feedback Improves Developmental Input” (в работе).

356

Lara B. Aknin and Gillian M. Sandstrom, “People Are Surprisingly Hesitant to Reach Out to Old Friends,” Communications Psychology 2, no. 1 (2024): 34.

357

Erin C. Westgate and Timothy D. Wilson, “Boring Thoughts and Bored Minds: The MAC Model of Boredom and Cognitive Engagement,” Psychological Review 125, no. 5 (2018): 689.

358

Jordi Quoidbach et al., “Emodiversity and the Emotional Ecosystem,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General,143, no. 6 (2014): 2057; Jordan Etkin, “Choosing Variety for Joint Consumption,” Journal of Marketing Research 53, no. 6 (2016): 1019–33.

359

Hanne K. Collins et al., “Relational Diversity in Social Portfolios Predicts Well-Being,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, no. 43 (2022): e2120668119.

360

Jordi Quoidbach et al., “Emodiversity and the Emotional Ecosystem,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 143, no. 6 (2014): 2057.

361

Christopher Welker et al., “Pessimistic Assessments of Ability in Informal Conversation,” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 53, no. 7 (2023): 555–69; Erica J. Boothby et al., “The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?” Psychological Science 29, no. 11 (2018): 1742–56; Adam M. Mastroianni et al., “The Liking Gap in Groups and Teams,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 162 (2021): 109–22; Gus Cooney, Erica J. Boothby, and Mariana Lee, “The Thought Gap After Conversation: Underestimating the Frequency of Others’ Thoughts About Us,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 151, no. 5 (2022): 1069.

362

John Steinbeck, East of Eden (Penguin, 2002).

363

Daniel C. Richardson, Rick Dale, and Natasha Z. Kirkham, “The Art of Conversation Is Coordination,” Psychological Science 18, no. 5 (2007): 407– 13; Adam M. Mastroianni et al., “Do Conversations End When People Want Them To?” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 118, no. 10 (2021): e2011809118; Sophie Wohltjen and Thalia Wheatley, “Eye Contact Marks the Rise and Fall of Shared Attention in Conversation,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 118, no. 37 (2021): e2106645118. Krakauer, “The Multiple Effects of Practice: Skill, Habit and Reduced Cognitive Load,” Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences 20 (2018): 196–201.

364

Erving Goffman, Interaction Ritual: Essays in Face-to-Face Behavior (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1967).

365

Katie Koch, “Jazz as Conversation,” Harvard Gazette, April 18, 2013.

366

Jason Pugatch, Acting Is a Job: Real-life Lessons About the Acting Business (New York: Allworth, 2006), 73.

367

J. Rentilly, “Kurt Vonnegut: The Last Interview with One of America’s Great Men of Letters,” US Airways Magazine, June 2007.

368

Fred Rogers, You Are Special: Neighborly Words of Wisdom from Mister Rogers (New York: Penguin Books, 1995), 47.

369

Christopher Isherwood, Lions and Shadows: An Education in the Twenties (London: Hogarth Press, 1938), 65.

370

Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers (New York: Hyperion, 2003), 160.

371

Harold Pinter, Various Voices: Prose, Poetry, Politics 1948–1998 (London: Faber, 1998), 34.

372

Veep, season 5, episode 1, “Morning After,” directed by Chris Addison, written by David Mandel and Armando Iannucci, aired on April 24, 2016, on HBO.

373

Daniel Jones, “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love,” New York Times, January 9, 2015.