The Little Book of Stoicism

Chapter 5

How to Practice Stoicism?

“As it is we are glib and fluent in the lecture-room, and if any paltry question arises about a point of conduct, we are capable of pursuing the subject logically; but put us to the practical test and you will find us miserable shipwrecks.” – Epictetus

Congratulations! You made it through the theory part. It’s time to get in the water.

Beware though, just because we’re fluent in the classroom doesn’t mean we’re ready for the real world. Knowing the theory and applying it in practice are two entirely different animals. You are going to get wet.

Or as Epictetus puts it, we might get miserably shipwrecked. That’s why we must practice. He says a carpenter becomes a carpenter by learning certain things. And a helmsman becomes a helmsman by learning certain things. So it’s clear that if we want to become good people, we must learn certain things.

“Step forward,” he says, “and make use of what you’ve learned. It isn’t more logic chopping that is needed—our Stoic texts are full of that. What we need now are people to apply their learning and bear witness to their learning in their actions. Please, be the one to take on this character, I am tired in my teaching of invoking examples from the past, I want to be able to hold up an example from my time.”

Be the example out there. Don’t be satisfied with mere learning, but practice, practice, practice! Because if time passes, Epictetus says, we forget what we’ve learned and end up doing the opposite, and hold opinions the opposite of what we should.

Sorry to bring it to you, but you’re not Superman. You can’t just hear Stoic principles once and expect to rely on them when life happens. You must practice like a professional athlete, and show up on the pitch every day. Show up earlier and leave later than everyone else. From nothing comes nothing.

Remember, philosophy is all about how to live one’s life. As discussed earlier, Epictetus compares philosophy to artisans—just as the carpenter uses wood and the sculptor uses bronze, we use our own lives as the raw material in the art of living.

Every event in our lives presents a blank block of marble that we can train on. That’s how we learn to use a chisel and mallet until we’ve mastered our craft. Philosophy is all about applying its principles to the real world. Remember, we want to be warrior-philosophers and put into practice what we learn.

That’s what this part is all about. You’ll find 55 Stoic practices mixed with practical advice. Each can be used by itself. For simplicity reasons, let’s differentiate between three sorts of practices: The first are preparing practices you can do for yourself. You won’t need a life situation to train on, and you can simply do them at home. The second are practices for challenging life situations: how to handle yourself in stressful moments. And the third are practices for situations with other people: how to deal with challenging people.

Keep in mind that different approaches work better for some people and worse for others. Treat the practices as suggestions, not as rigid rules. Try the practices and keep on doing what works and leave out what doesn’t. Don’t overthink it.

Now before we get to the practices, let’s quickly look at a legend and three important details that will help you get the most out of the practices.

Brace Yourself

"What would have become of Hercules, do you think, if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar - and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?” – Epictetus

What would have become of legendary Hercules without any struggles?

“Obviously,” Epictetus says, “he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.”

What would have become of any person you admire without any struggles? Your mom? That colleague you rate so highly? Roger Federer or any other superstar?

One thing is sure, they wouldn’t be where they are without the challenges they surely faced in their lives. Difficulties are important. That’s what we’re here for. God, says Seneca, “does not make a spoiled pet of a good man; he tests him, hardens him, and fits him for his own service.”

All the adversities you’re facing in your life, these are tests. It’s mere training. Life isn’t supposed to be easy, life is supposed to be challenging to make sure you actually grow. “And those things which we all shudder and tremble at are for the good of the persons themselves to whom they come,” says Seneca.

Whenever you find yourself in a hole, remind yourself of Hercules who became strong only because of the challenges he faced.

Life is meant to be hard at times. Chin up, chest out, you’ll do fine.

Now, let’s look at three helpful details that’ll help you get the most out of the practices.

Be Mindful

Stoicism isn’t an easy-to-follow road. There are many principles to keep in mind and to live by.

And the most important prerequisite is to be aware of what’s going on. Because Stoic philosophy is a lot about how we react to what happens in the world around us. What happens doesn’t matter because it’s beyond our control. What matters is how we deal with it.

In order to deal with what happens effectively and to be mindful of our reactions, we need to be aware of what’s going on. We need to be able to step in between stimulus and response. We need to be able to not go with our impulses, but take a step back and look at the situation objectively.

Stoicism requires us to be able to not react impulsively to what happens to us. It requires us to spot our initial impressions, so that we recognize our ability to choose our response. Once we’re able to spot our automatic impressions, we can test them and actively choose to go with the impression or not.

Look, awareness is the first step toward any serious change. If you’re not aware of what’s going wrong in your life, then how do you want to fix it? If you don’t realize when you get angry, how do you want to prevent it in the future? “A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step to salvation,” Seneca says. “You have to catch yourself doing it before you can correct it.”

Stoicism asks of us to be aware of what we do in every moment. The whole idea of virtue, to express our highest self in every moment, is based on our ability to be present in the moment and know what’s going on. How else do we want to choose our best action?

Our voluntary thoughts and actions are by definition the only things within our control. And they only exist in the here and now. We can’t choose an action if we’re lost in thought, ruminating in the past, or dreaming about the future.

Therefore, we should focus our attention on the present moment, undistracted by the past or future. Then we can properly confront the challenge we’re facing now, trying to accept it as it is, and choose a response consistent with our values.

Basically, we should be aware of our every step. As said earlier, we should watch ourselves like a hawk and bring the same attention into the moment as when we’re walking barefoot on broken glass. This focused and continuous self-observation is needed to practice Stoicism effectively.

Don’t worry if you think you’re not a very mindful person. You’re still able to practice most of the following practices. Plus, many will actually improve your mindfulness. This cultivation of awareness is a part of Stoicism. You’ll get better at stepping back from your impulses, so you can analyze them and question their accuracy, and then decide upon your smartest response.

Recharge Your Self-Discipline

Practicing Stoicism isn’t like watching TV. It takes effort. You must actually do something.

Most practices require self-discipline if you want to do them. Some are challenging, not particularly fun, and will suck up your willpower. But that’s part of the game. And it’s similar with other things in life. If you want to get better at darts, you must practice it. If you want to get better at lifting weights, you must train hard.

It’s the same with Stoicism. It requires effort and discipline, but at the same time it will build up endurance and self-discipline. It will make you stronger. Just like lifting weights will make your muscles stronger, practicing Stoic principles will make your will stronger.

Yes, it’s demanding. But you will always have to pay the price if you want to improve. The practices will make you more resilient, tranquil, courageous, disciplined, and so on.

Plus, you must keep in mind that there’s a cost of not having and practicing a philosophy of life. Author William Irvine explains the cost bluntly: “The danger that you will spend your days pursuing valueless things and will therefore waste your life.”

It’s up to us. Either we’re willing to invest and reap the benefits, or we’re not and risk wasting our lives.

Look, the possible rewards are much greater than the effort you have to put into it. This investment is a no-brainer if you ask me. There’s much to gain and nothing but a little effort to lose. Here’s how Irvine describes what you’ll get if you make the investment: “Stoics can transform themselves into individuals remarkable for their courage and self-control. They will be able to do things that others dread doing, and they will be able to refrain from doing things that others cannot resist doing.”

You can become this remarkable individual if you’re willing to put in some effort. Do those practices even if you don’t feel like doing them. It’s what you have to do. Don’t read them, nod your head, and move on without putting in into practice. That won’t make you any better.

Remember, self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it will get. So each time you decide to overcome the initial hurdle and do a practice, you train yourself in self-discipline and willpower.

If you do it today, you’ll be more likely to do it tomorrow. If you don’t do it today, you’ll be less likely to do it tomorrow.

Don’t Call Yourself a Philosopher

According to Epictetus, you’ll get ridiculed for practicing Stoicism: “If you desire philosophy, prepare yourself from the beginning to be ridiculed, to expect that many will sneer at you.”

Now, I don’t know if that’s still valid today. I don’t talk much about practicing Stoicism so I haven’t experienced people mocking me about it. Anyway, I think if friends do mock you for trying to improve yourself you might want to rethink those friendships.

“Remember,” Epictetus continues, “that if you abide in the same principles, these men who first ridiculed will afterward admire you.”

So even if you get ridiculed and others give you a hard time for your commitment to self-improvement, know that if you stay strong, these people will admire you.

The simplest trick to make sure nobody will mock you comes from Epictetus, too: “On no occasion call yourself a philosopher, and do not, for the most part, talk among laymen about your philosophical principles, but rather do what follows from your principles.”

Don’t mention that you’re into Stoicism, just live by it. You can still tell those who want to know what’s going on with you when they recognize your positive changes. That’s the first tip William Irvine shares in his book A Guide to the Good Life: “The first tip I would offer to those wishing to give Stoicism a try is to practice what I have referred to as stealth Stoicism: You would do well, I think, to keep it a secret that you are a practicing Stoic. By practicing Stoicism stealthily, you can gain its benefits while avoiding one significant cost: the teasing and outright mockery of your friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers.”

Demonstrate rather than instruct what you learn.

Dive in.