Where'd You Go, Bernadette

MONDAY, DECEMBER 20

Police report filed by night manager at the Westin Hotel

STATE OF WASHINGTON

CIRCUIT COURT

KING COUNTY

STATE OF WASHINGTON — vs.- Audrey Faith Griffin

I, Phil Bradstock, an officer with the Seattle Police Department, having been first duly sworn in, on oath, state that:

The above-named defendant on December 20, in the City of Seattle, Washington, while in a public place, did engage in indecent, abusive, boisterous, or otherwise disorderly conduct, under circumstances in which such conduct tended to cause or provoke a disturbance contrary to RCW 9A.84.030 c2, and did commit Assault in the Fourth Degree as defined in RCW 9A.36.041, both Misdemeanors, and upon conviction may be fined not more than One Thousand Dollars ($1,000) or imprisoned not more than thirty (30) days, or both.

This information is based upon the testimony of the complainant STEVEN KOENIG, night manager at the Westin Hotel in downtown Seattle. I find the testimony of Steven Koenig to be both truthful and reliable.

1. On Monday, December 20, at approximately 2 AM, Steven Koenig reports that he was on duty as the night manager of the Seattle Westin Hotel when he received a call from guest AUDREY GRIFFIN in Room 1601, complaining of noise emanating from Room 1602.

2. Mr. Koenig reports that he checked the registration list and found Room 1602 to be unoccupied.

3. Mr. Koenig reports that when he conveyed the above information to Ms. Griffin, she became irate and demanded that he investigate in person.

4. Mr. Koenig reports that upon exiting the elevator on the 16th floor, he heard loud voices, laughter, rap music, and what he described as “partying.”

5. Mr. Koenig reports that he detected traces of smoke and an uncharacteristic odor in the hallway, which in his opinion was “weed.”

6. Mr. Koenig reports that he tracked the noise and smell to Room 1605.

7. Mr. Koenig reports that he knocked on the door and identified himself, at which time the music was turned off and all noise ceased. The momentary silence was followed by giggling.

8. Mr. Koenig reports that Ms. Griffin, wearing a hotel robe, approached him in the hallway and strongly suggested he was knocking on the wrong door, as Room 1605 belonged to her son, Kyle, who was asleep.

9. Mr. Koenig reports that after he explained to Ms. Griffin that Room 1605 was the source of the noise, she then expressed her low opinion of him, using words such as “idiot,” “moron,” and “incompetent dummy.”

10. Mr. Koenig reports that he advised Ms. Griffin of Westin policy regarding verbal abuse. Ms. Griffin then expressed her low opinion of the Westin facility with terms such as “dump,” “fleabag,” and “pig hole.”

11. Mr. Koenig reports that while Ms. Griffin’s negative assessment continued, her husband, WARREN GRIFFIN, appeared in the hallway, squinting and wearing boxer shorts.

12. Mr. Koenig reports that Mr. Griffin’s attempts to quiet his wife were met with resistance and verbal abuse.

13. Mr. Koenig reports that while in the process of trying to quiet both husband and wife, Mr. Griffin belched, emitting a “nasty stench.”

14. Mr. Koenig reports that Ms. Griffin “got in her husband’s face” regarding his abuse of alcohol and insatiable appetite for steak.

15. Mr. Koenig reports that Mr. Griffin went back inside Room 1601 and slammed the door.

16. Mr. Koenig reports that while Ms. Griffin was engaged in stating her extreme displeasure with “the person who invented alcohol” to the closed door of 1601, he stuck his master key in the lock of 1605.

17. Mr. Koenig reports that “out of nowhere, my head jerked back” because “that crazy bitch” (Ms. Griffin) had grabbed hold of his hair and yanked, causing him distress and pain.

18. Mr. Koenig reports that he radioed for Seattle PD, and while he was on the radio, Ms. Griffin entered Room 1605 and emitted a scream.

19. Mr. Koenig reports that he entered Room 1605 and counted nine individuals: Ms. Griffin’s son, KYLE GRIFFIN, and assorted Seattle street youth.

20. Mr. Koenig reports that he observed a variety of drug paraphernalia, including, but not limited to, “bongs, bindles, rolling papers, prescription drug bottles, roach clips, one-hitters, pinchies, rigs, works, spoons, and an ‘epic vape.’ ” A visual scan of the room indicated no controlled substances other than “shake and seeds on the mini-fridge.”

21. Mr. Koenig reports that Ms. Griffin commenced approximately five minutes of hysterically expressing disappointment at her son’s choice of friends.

22. Mr. Koenig reports that the subdued response on the part of Kyle Griffin and his companions indicated that “they were totally wasted.”

23. Mr. Koenig reports that Ms. Griffin suddenly lunged at a girl with a teddy bear safety-pinned to the back of the her jacket.

NARRATIVE CONTINUATION BY OFFICER:

Upon arrival, I identified myself as Seattle PD. I attempted to pull Ms. Griffin off the teddy bear, which appeared to be causing her acute distress. I informed Ms. Griffin that if she did not lower her voice and step into the hallway with me, I would have to put her in handcuffs. Ms. Griffin started screaming at me with profanity, “I’m a model citizen. These druggies are the ones breaking the law and corrupting my son.” I grabbed hold of her left arm. Ms. Griffin screamed profanities at me while I placed her in handcuffs. Ms. Griffin attempted to pull away, saying, “Take your damn hands off me, you can’t touch me, I didn’t do anything wrong.” She threatened that her husband was a DA and she would use the hotel’s video surveillance to prove I was holding her in custody without probable cause and she would make sure the video was “all over the evening news.” I explained that she was only being temporarily detained while I attempted to ascertain what was going on. Two backup security officers arrived and, with the assistance of my partner, Officer Stanton, escorted the non — hotel residents off the premises. At that point, the complainant related the hair-pulling incident. Ms. Griffin strenuously denied it. I asked Mr. Koenig if he wished to press charges. Ms. Griffin interjected sarcastically, to the effect of “Whoop-de-doo, it’s my word against his. Who is a judge going to believe? The wife of a DA or the crowned king of the pig hole?” Mr. Koenig stated that he did wish to press charges.

Based on the information above, I, Officer Phil Bradstock, ask that the defendant be made to answer to the charges.

From: Audrey Griffin

To: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal

Hello, stranger! It turns out you were right. Hotel living has finally lost its luster. I’m taking you up on your offer to host us chez Lee-Segal. Don’t worry! I know you’re busy with your big new job, and I wouldn’t dream of inconveniencing you.

I looked for you at drop-off today. Lincoln told me you’re working such long hours you don’t even have a Christmas tree! I’m going to swing by my garage and grab my bins of decorations. I’ll have your house trimmed by the time you return. Don’t try to stop me. You know Christmas is my favorite holiday!

How’s this for irony? Remember when you were divorcing Barry, and Warren handled the whole thing for you gratis, saving you thirty thousand dollars? Remember when you literally sobbed in gratitude, promising you’d make it up to us? Here’s your chance! I’ll let myself in with the key under the cupid.

One question. What do you want for dinner? I’m going to have a feast waiting when you get home.

Blessings, you!

From: Elgin Branch

To: Soo-Lin Lee-Segal

I realize that everything you just learned in that meeting with Agent Strang was an awful lot to lay on you, way outside your job description. But I was completely overwhelmed and couldn’t face that briefing alone. As stunned as I was, and as stunned as I still am, I’m also incredibly grateful that Agent Strang finally allowed you to be present. I’m even more grateful to you for standing by my side.