Where'd You Go, Bernadette

Report by Tonya Woods, forensic document examiner

Dear Mr. Branch,

Using an Electro-Static Detection Apparatus (ESDA), we analyzed the second-page writing present on several sheets of stationery with the HARMSEN & HEATH ALLEGRA letterhead. Due to the three distinct depths of indented writing, it is highly probable that a three-page letter was written. It is signed, “Love, Mom.” This strongly indicates to us that it is a letter written from a mother to a child. The most frequently repeated words are “Audrey Griffin,” which appear to have been written at least six times. While we are unable to piece together the whole letter, we are somewhat confident that the letter contains the following phrases:

“Audrey Griffin is the devil.”

“Audrey Griffin is an angel.”

“Romeo, Romeo.”

“I am a Christian.”

“Audrey knows.”

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

Tonya Woods