The People’s Republic of Desire

14 Chinese Beauty in Western Eyes

Colorful Clouds came from the Guangxi countryside.

By sleeping with a guy from the city, she managed to leave her native village.

By marrying an American man forty years her senior, she managed to leave China.

By divorcing her husband and marrying his grandson, physicist Brian, she became an upper-middle-class American suburban housewife.

Forty-two-year-old Colorful Clouds, a has-been small-time actress, thinks her men have helped her successfully upgrade her race and status. Now is the time for her to return to China to show off. In Beijing, she finds every journalist she knows, including me, whom she met back in St. Louis. "You see, I'm an actress and a self-made Chinese-American success story who drives a Jaguar. My fellow Chinese should admire me!"

Inspired by the fact that the Oscar-winning film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon received only a lukewarm reception in China, I want to do a story on different perceptions of beauty. After I talk to my friend Yi, who is CEO at ChineseSister.com, she says to me, "Why don't we organize an online forum on East-West concepts of beauty on my Web site? You can do a story about it!"

Colorful Clouds hears the news about the forum and begs me to invite her as a special guest so that she can have her fifteen minutes of fame.

Special guests that day are Colorful Clouds; Ken, an executive at CC's firm Ed Consulting; a couple of foreign students; and a Chinese movie director. CC has told me that Ken is a Western expert at chasing Chinese women. Colorful Clouds is wearing a low-cut black velvet dress and a fake diamond necklace – and yellow high-heeled shoes that clash with the rest of her outfit.

She has brought a stack of photos of her house, her cars, her husband, and her beach house. This was the moment she had been waiting for: everybody in China would now admire her.

As soon as the forum starts, all of the questions from the people online are directed at Ken and the foreign students.

Purple Lemon: "Why is it that Westerners' Chinese wives are always considered ugly by Chinese people? Sometimes, there's a huge difference – the guy is tall, the woman is short. And why are the girls who hang out with foreigners always so wild?"

Ken and the foreign students look at each other dumbly, and finally a tall guy called Dennis replies:

"It's not that we Westerners can't tell the difference between ugly and beautiful Chinese people, but we pay more attention to personality. Some girls may not be attractive on the outside, but they are thoughtful and independent, and to me that is beautiful. As for the question of height, I don't think it's a problem. I know that you Chinese probably consider height important, because you are all generally short. But I don't care about a girl's height that much."

"Sometimes" – no one has spoken to Colorful Clouds, but she butts in anyway – "I think many Westerners like the feeling of a small woman, especially in moments of passion. They can wrap a small woman up in their arms; it's very masculine and dominating. Am I right?" Colorful Clouds glances hotly at the young foreign students and Ken.

They are a little embarrassed.

So-So: "Why do Westerners think Gong Li and Lucy Liu are so beautiful? Why don't we Chinese think so?"

Lily: "Especially Lucy Liu, she is very plain. We think Ning Jing and Zhao Wei are pretty. What do you think?"

Ken laughs. "Personally, Gong Li and Lucy Liu aren't my favorite stars. My favorite Chinese celebrity is Faye Wong. But I do think they all have some things in common: individuality, style, and they're good actresses, not just pretty to look at. I think Zhao Wei is quite cute. She's a comedy actress. I think she could be made up to look really sexy."

At that moment, Colorful Clouds interrupts again. "Let me say a few words since I used to live in Hollywood. Lucy Liu and Gong Li both have full lips. Full, large lips are very attractive to Western men, because they're very important when kissing or giving blow jobs. And what's more, their faces are very well defined, with high cheekbones. That is what Westerners like."

Colorful Clouds will not rest until she gets enough attention.

Foxy adds, "Chinese people like small, cherry mouths and homely beauty. And Westerners like a sexy, wild beauty."

"Why do Chinese like small, cherry mouths?" Dennis asks.

People on the Internet immediately post replies.

Snuff Bottle: "Smiling without showing your teeth is beautiful. If your mouth is extremely small, then when you smile, it's difficult for your teeth to show."

So-So: "A small mouth means that a woman doesn't talk too much. A quiet woman is a beautiful woman."

Colorful Clouds continues in an authoritative tone: "You're all missing the most important point, and that is the Freudian perspective on this question. A woman's mouth symbolizes a woman's genitals. The smaller her mouth, the smaller her genitals, and the more stimulation for men. This is what the Chinese man is after."

Oval Face: "I'd like to ask the French foreign student, Sophie, what kind of Asian men do you like?"

Sophie: "I like Jackie Chan's sense of humor and Bruce Lee's body. But if I were looking for a husband, I would probably go for Tony Leung. He's gentle, sophisticated, and handsome. In The Lover, his heavenly butt was unforgettable. I also like men who can cook."

A German student called Marcus says, "Can I ask the Chinese people, what kind of Westerners you think are good-looking?"

The people online leap in:

Bitter Cauliflower: "Ricky Martin."

Shortie: "James Bond."

China Ball: "Britney Spears."

Little Thing: "Catherine Zeta-Jones."

Lovely: "Richard Gere."

Yellow Chrysanthemum: "Audrey Hepburn."

Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing: "Sharon Stone."

Fleet-Foot: "Al Gore."

"What? You think even a geek like Gore is good-looking?" American student Sophie cries.

Fleet-Foot: "He looks scholarly, and he's better looking than

Bush."

"But Bush is affable, don't you think?" Sophie rebuts. "

Chinese people don't think Gong Li is sexy or beautiful? Is that because they're jealous?" Dennis asks.

Go-Go: "She looks too local!"

The Chinese director, who has not yet expressed an opinion, finally speaks: "Chinese people think that 'Western style' is attractive, and that 'local style' is unattractive. Why? 'Local style' is like ourselves. Why is being like ourselves considered unattractive? It shows that Chinese people do not have any self-confidence."

Last Samurai: "I agree. Ancient Chinese people had self-confidence, and their own sense of aesthetics. In the Tang dynasty, we liked full-figured women with short eyebrows. It was totally our own sense of beauty. In modern times, our aesthetics are all Western: long legs, tall, round eyes, double eyelids, high nose, white skin. Girls are having cosmetic surgery on their eyes, dying their hair blond – it's not natural at all. Why do they think their narrow eyes and short stature are ugly? We should create our own aesthetics."

The Chinese director nods. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. Our ancestors actually had a strong sense of aesthetics. But unlike in the past, modern Chinese lack confidence."

New Shoes: "I'm proud that China 's ugly women can become beautiful women on the world stage! I applaud China 's dogs becoming Oriental sex goddesses overseas! I am happy that those undesirable Chinese women who can't find a boyfriend in China can be in high demand in the West."

The hour-and-a-half online forum ends. ChineseSister.com thanks the special guests and then hands out mugs, bags, and T-shirts.

Colorful Clouds is extremely pleased, and tells me, "I am a sex expert. The kids all worship me. Some had me sign their T-shirts as a souvenir. I really need people to worship me – it's such a wonderful feeling. Oh yeah, that Ken, he's a real lady-killer! If I had the time, I'd take him for a spin."