The People’s Republic of Desire

95 Women in Different Societies

I get together with my high school friends Yan Yan and Han in Beijing. Years ago, when I left China for the United States, Yan Yan went to Japan and Han to Hong Kong. This is our first reunion.

Yan Yan has changed so much that I can hardly believe she is the same woman I went to school with. While Han and I sit cross-legged and laugh loudly, Yan Yan sits upright, speaks in a soft voice, and constantly uses her hand to remove the lipstick print left on her teacup. She even covers her mouth with her hand as she smiles.

Every three minutes, she bows to Han and me.

"Yan Yan, I can't believe you've become so feminine. I remember when we used to climb up walls barefooted!" I say accusingly.

Yan Yan replies almost timidly: "You don't know what it feels like to be a woman in Japan."

I say with interest: "Tell us!"

Yan Yan explains: "Japanese people pay much attention to subtle detail. As a woman, to get things done, you have to look pretty and behave properly. If you cross your legs in a business meeting, you lose the deal. It's as simple as that."

Han exclaims: "Sounds like being a woman is more difficult in Japan than in China."

"Sometimes I feel that being a woman in Japan is like putting on a show," says Yan Yan. "As long as you're a good actress, you get your rewards. Especially if you're a good actress with long legs and speak some English, you'd find yourself very popular."

Yan Yan is a success story among the Chinese students in Japan. She has a Ph.D. in art, has held art exhibitions all over Japan, and published a few art books. As a constant guest of Japanese legislators and corporate chief executives, she has become a member of the country's upper class.

I ask Han, "What about you? What's it like to be a woman in Hong Kong?" Han is a success story among mainland women in Hong Kong. She is a director of an American company's Hong Kong headquarters, earning a seven-digit salary.

She has two secretaries and an office at the top of the Lippo Centre, overlooking the Victoria Harbor. "Your language ability is important in doing business in Hong Kong," says Han. She has mastered English, Cantonese, and Shanghainese.

"I can speak Cantonese like a native. So I can hide my origin as a mainlander and pretend to be a native. By doing that, ironically, I've gained more respect from Hong Kong people."

"That's it?" I ask.

"Another secret is to watch your weight all the time," says Han with a smile. "The thinner you are, the more beautiful you're thought to be."

Yan Yan asks me, "What about being a woman in the United States?"

I laugh. "It's easier than being a Beijing girl. First, don't worry about your weight. Asian girls are normally petite there. Second, you can laugh aloud without covering your mouth, and nobody would think of you as rude. Third, there is no need to pretend to be a native. Speaking English with a foreign accent is often considered cute."

Yan Yan says, "It seems you had it easy being a woman in America."

"Yes, I felt free and at ease," I say. "I guess that's why I don't have friends from the Senate or an office that overlooks the bay. Everything has a price."