The People’s Republic of Desire

56 In Search of Mr. Right

Finding Mr. Right always takes time. It can be a tough decision when there are so many men to choose from. Each of my girlfriends has a different personality and outlook on life. Beibei loves to dominate men, so she prefers younger men who worship her (at least on the surface). CC finds only white men attractive and doesn't click with Asian men. Lulu loves the artsy macho type of man. I always seem to pay attention to reserved, low-key men who aren't obsessed with trying to act tough or show off how much money they have.

Lulu invites us to have drinks at Buddha's Bar near Beihai Park on Saturday night. After we order bubble tea and almond cookies, Lulu takes several cards out of her purse. Each has detailed notes on men she recently met. She passes the cards to Beibei. Beibei takes a bite of almond cookie and reads the notes aloud.

"Candidate No. 1: International lawyer based in Beijing. Late thirties, handsome, intelligent, Yale-educated, witty, worldly, preppy, narcissistic, talented in bed, a womanizer with a bad temper. American.

"Candidate No. 2: Self-made billionaire from Shenzhen. Owns several real estate businesses, middle-school education, married but will divorce soon, generous, honest, tough, stubborn, swears a lot, bald, smoker, has a big belly.

"Candidate No. 3: Banker from New York. Between thirty-seven to forty-five, pale, ordinary-looking, a graduate of MIT, gentlemanly, respects women, hard-working, divorced, two children, a good listener, a wonderful cook, boring, no hobbies, can't ski or swim.

"Candidate No. 4: Scientist. Thirty-something, meek, honest, caring, loving, sensitive, balanced, into outdoor activities, introverted, not ambitious, and never gets angry.

"Candidate No. 5: Art professor. Model looks, romantic, passionate, intelligent, knowledgeable, interesting, emotionally traumatized by previous relationship, unstable, and schizophrenic."

"Give me some advice!" Lulu begs us.

Knowing Lulu's weaknesses too well, Beibei says immediately: "I vote out No. 5. Better not deal with emotional disasters. They can destroy your sanity."

I dismiss No. 2 right away. "You don't need to marry money. Without a rich guy, you can live comfortably as a professional woman. You need men of taste to match up with you."

CC vetoes No. 1. "Although the lawyer's looks and money would satisfy your vanity, he has no sense of loyalty," she says. "He is worth nothing, just like Nick." CC can't stand womanizers like her former English boyfriend Nick, who won't quit until he sleeps with every woman he meets in Asia.

"So on ly the banker and the scientist are left," Beibei says, turning to Lulu. "What do you think?"

Lulu pauses and then says: "The banker is too boring. I'm still young. I feel that I would miss all the excitement of life by marrying him. I'd rather have a roller-coaster life than a boring one."

CC asks: "What about the scientist?"

Lulu sighs. "He's not ambitious enough. My own problem is lack of ambition. I'd love my other half to make up for me. Plus, I studied liberal arts in school. I rather prefer my man to have a similar educational background so we can have many things to talk about."

"Can you introduce him to me then?" I cut in. "Loving, caring, and sensitive – he sounds like a million bucks to me. I always prefer men who are content and happy. Ambition can easily turn into greed. And I can learn science from him and he can learn arts and literature from me."

Before Lulu can say anything, Beibei jumps in: "I'd like to get to know the international lawyer. He sounds like a wonderful lover to have. I don't mind that he's a womanizer since I sleep with other men apart from my husband. No strings attached on either side; it makes things a lot easier for me."

CC chimes in: "The banker is good for me. I'm talkative and need to have a pair of attentive ears. As for boredom, it's bad, but better than betrayal."

Beibei takes another look at Lulu's notes. "Lulu, can I have No. 5 as well? Model looks, passionate, romantic, another great lover I need. When can you introduce them to us?"

"Anytime you like, my friends," Lulu says with a shrug.

"Great!" We chorus, then talk ecstatically among ourselves about meeting these men.

Feeling ignored, Lulu concludes, "I guess it's not too bad for me since I still get the billionaire. That will make plenty of Shanghai girls jealous."