The People’s Republic of Desire

50 Mental Viagra

I didn't anticipate that I would meet Yu during my trip to the United States.

Yu is the Shanghai girl that I met in Beijing a few years ago, whose biggest dream was to speak English every day. I had never met a person like Yu – she was so infatuated with English but had no language talent at all. I knew Yu's boyfriend, a kindhearted young Chinese man. Yu had dumped her boyfriend because his English was clumsy. She was determined to find a boyfriend who could speak perfect English. One time, she was caught with a Canadian man in his hotel room around midnight. Although she insisted that she was speaking English with him, her school expelled her. After the incident, the rumors of Yu prostituting herself spread around the campus and among her circle of friends. Nobody ever heard from Yu again. She disappeared. Many thought she might have ended up in a mental institution because of her obsession with speaking perfect English.

This time, I run into Yu in my friend's church, a church predominantly serving the Chinese community. Even though I am not Christian, I enjoy visiting churches and appreciate the beautiful architecture and songs. This is a luxury that people can rarely enjoy in China, where religion is watched closely by the government. Yu recognizes me first. For the first hour of our conversations, she talks passionately about her discovery of religion. "God is the Almighty. Other religions from Buddhism to Hinduism believe in deities. There can be many deities, but only one true God. Before, I was so unhappy in China. The reason was simple: I didn't find God."

"I thought you were unhappy because you weren't able to converse in English with native speakers every day," I tease her.

"Perhaps because English is the language that God loves," Yu replies in a serious tone.

"So how did you end up here? Fill me in!" I ask.

"It's a really long story." And Yu recounts…

After Yu was expelled by her school, she desperately wanted to leave China. Within three months, she found herself a middle-aged Chinese-American husband, Eric, who had been looking for a young wife in China.

After coming to the United States, she learned that Eric had lied to her about his job and his salary. He wasn't a computer engineer, but a warehouse janitor for a computer company. He made seven dollars instead of seventy dollars per hour. Although disappointed, Yu cheered herself up by thinking, "After all, now I'm able to speak English with a native English speaker every day."

But soon after the marriage, Eric quit his job and stayed at home. Yu had to work two shifts as a waitress in a Chinese restaurant to support them. Even worse, Eric never showed any interest in sleeping with her. Because Yu came to the States on a marriage visa, she swallowed all her pain. In order to get a green card, she had to stay in the marriage for two years.

During the interviews at the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the immigration officer asked the couple questions about their daily life. When he asked if she remembered any mark on her husband's body, she couldn't answer. Her application was rejected, and her hopes were smashed.

Desperate, Yu sought help from the church people, who showed tremendous support. One church member, a lawyer named Mark, thought it was strange that Eric didn't want to sleep with Yu. Mark had a plan for Yu. After implementing the plan, Yu discovered that Eric was impotent. Because of this, she was successful at getting a divorce and received her green card at the same time.

After telling the story, she says to me, "I realized how stupid I was, judging people only by how good their English is. We should be careful what we wish for."

"It seems God redeemed you! Do you ever think of going back to China and returning to your old boyfriend?" I ask, secretly hoping that Yu would end up back with him.

"No. My former husband is impotent. What he needs is Viagra. At least, he could buy it if he had the money. But what my former boyfriend needs is mental Viagra, which you can't buy over the counter."

"But I don't understand why you are so harsh on your boyfriend. He loves you and cares about you," I say.

"You see, not speaking perfect English is another kind of impotency."