The People’s Republic of Desire

82 Turnoffs

When CC, Beibei, Lulu, and I get together, we are eager to get an update on CC's first date with the guy we call S. CC has been talking for months on the Internet with S. She thinks S is attractive and intelligent, perhaps the right person for her.

"So what's the news with S?" As usual, the impatient Beibei starts probing.

"Well, we finally met, but it lasted only fifteen minutes," CC says with disappointment.

"Was he the same guy as in his photos? Or was he much older? Did he turn out to be ugly? Was he way shorter than you expected? Did he have as much hair on his head as he did in the photos?" I shower CC with questions.

"Yes, no, no, no, and no." CC shakes her head.

"Did he have yellow teeth that aren't shown in his pictures?" Lulu continues the inquisition.

"No. His teeth are like the model's teeth in a Crest ad."

"Did he say something rude to offend you?" I guess.

"No."

"Was he too aggressive? You know, fast with his hands? Did he try to take advantage of you?" I ask, wondering what could have been wrong with this man.

"Well, what happened? Fill us in," Beibei says eagerly.

"He passed wind ten minutes after we sat down. I know how to do it myself. I don't really need him to demonstrate it in front of me. So I left."

"I can't believe this guy was so rude. He should try at least to hold it in on the first date," I say.

"That's exactly what I thought. Everybody tries to look and act his best on the first date with someone he likes. If S didn't give a thought about passing wind on our first date, he really didn't care about what I thought of him," says CC.

"But I remember you told us that he's very educated and intelligent. I don't understand why he could be so lacking in manners at the same time," I say.

"I've had a similar experience," Beibei jumps in. "Once I had a date. The guy was humorous and funny, but the whole time he was telling the jokes, he had spinach in his teeth. He was making fun of others, but he looked funny himself. The image was so ironic that I had no choice but to leave him."

"What's wrong with you guys? What if some man just leaves you on the first date because you happen to have a lipstick stain on your teeth when you eat," says Lulu, who is apparently sympathetic to S.

"I grew up in England, and I'd never be that sloppy!" CC rebuffs.

"Don't be so arrogant, CC. Everyone makes mistakes. I just think nowadays people have more choices and less time. We become less tolerant and more impatient! That's why relationships become so shallow. A small thing can kill a person's chances, just like that! A person might have a lot to offer, and we won't get to know it because of one event or mistake." Lulu protests.

"The fact is that small things really annoy us. Things like bad breath, nose picking, body odor, continual belching, and dirty socks can really turn us off," says CC, getting visibly annoyed.

"But you've got to give others a second chance!" Lulu begs.

CC speaks. "I indeed gave S a second chance. The first time he passed gas was right after he told me that he had a Ph.D. from Duke University. I tried to ignore the sound and appeared to be impressed by his education. The second time he did it was when I asked him what brand of cologne he was wearing. He told me that it was Calvin Klein's Obsession. But believe me, I smelled something else. I told him that I had to make a quick phone call. As I left, I passed the waiter bringing the salads to the table. What a shame. The spinach salad looked great."