The People’s Republic of Desire

23 The Fortune-Teller

Lulu's five-year love affair with the self-professed free spirit Ximu finally ends. But what can be done to bring the neurotic Lulu back down to earth?

I tell Lulu about myself. After I was dumped by Len, my shrink told me to regain my self-confidence by developing my potential and focusing on my career. Probably this is also what Lulu needs the most.

Beibei and I have formulated a Saving-Our-Comrade-in-Arms-Lulu plan. First, we buy Lulu a new computer. We hope she will start writing. Everyone who knows Lulu agrees that she is a talented writer. She is sexy, works in the fashion world, knows how to pose for the camera, and relates heartbreaking love stories: she has all the makings of a meinu zuojia, a pretty woman author. All she lacks is the most important part, a published book. Beibei invites Lulu to write song lyrics for her singers. Five thousand yuan per song. Not bad pay in the primary stages of socialism. I contact RedSkirt.com, which agrees to let Lulu be the part-time editor of their fashion channel over the weekend. Lulu will be so busy she won't have time to dwell on Ximu.

After everything is arranged, Beibei and I invite Lulu to dinner at Shun Feng on East Third Ring Road. I wanted to bring along a shrink, Dr. B, but Beibei believes that a fortune-teller and a feng shui master might be more appropriate. She brings along Master Bright Moon.

Bright Moon is from the ancient capital Xi'an and specializes in Taoist metaphysics and mysticism. He left his family at a young age to become a Taoist priest. It is said that he tells the fortunes of government leaders and celebrities. The most famous story is about an Olympic gold medalist named Wendy.

Before Wendy left for the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, she was depressed because she suffered from back pains But Bright Moon told her that she would definitely win if she slept on her left side instead of her right side after arriving in Sydney. Wendy followed Bright Moon's advice and her back pain disappeared. She won the gold.

Just as off-beat spiritual movements such as kabbalah are popular among the Hollywood crowd, it's fashionable these days for Chinese pop stars to have fortune-tellers and monks around them. Rumor has it that the reason certain Cantonese pop singers can stay at the top of the charts for many years continually is because they always have Taoist masters following them.

Celebrities respect Bright Moon. He charges one thousand yuan per hour, more than a psychologist, yet demand still exceeds supply. One has to wait at least one month to get an appointment with him. Plus, he accepts clients only through referral. One of Beibei's pop stars, Lan Huahua, gives up her own appointment with Bright Moon to Beibei, in order to suck up to Beibei.

First, Bright Moon asks for Lulu and Ximu's bazi. He counts them on his fingers, and then points out that Ximu, fifteen years older than Lulu, was born under the fire element, and Lulu the metal element. Metal is burned by fire; it is inevitable. Also they don't live in the same dimensional space, so their separation is preordained.

Next, Bright Moon asks Lulu to sketch her home's position and layout for him.

Lulu draws the outline of her apartment on a napkin. Bright Moon consults the drawing through small glasses, then shakes his head. He says Lulu's bed is in the wrong position. First, her bed is oriented east-west, while the magnetic field is oriented north-south. Every day when she sleeps, she is being cut in two by the magnetic field. This is extremely unlucky. Also, her bed is in the southeast corner of the room, next to the window. First, this is not private enough; the bed should be some distance from the window. Second, Lulu's elemental space suggests that the ideal position is the southwest. The southeast is star-crossed for her. Bright Moon also suggests that Lulu, being of the metal element, should put a goldfish bowl, a water wheel, or something of that nature in her room, to give the room a little more water.

"Water resists fire. You need the help of water," Bright Moon says calmly.

Then he points to a mole on Lulu's cheek. "You need to have the black mole beneath your eye removed. That is a crying mole, it will bring you many tears. In addition, you like wearing black, but black is unlucky for you. Your yin is already very strong to begin with. In the future, you should wear more colorful clothes. And you had best use a red pillowcase."

After Lulu hears this, she is all smiles.

When they are leaving, Bright Moon finally exhorts Lulu, "You should be grateful in your heart and have some reverence for the gods. If you don't have faith, things will be even worse. I would encourage you to go to Xiang He in Hebei to pay your respects to the ascetic Taoist holy woman there who attained the true light. Eight years after she died, her body still hasn't rotted. When you see her, you will understand everything in the darkness is long ago preordained."

Lulu nods her head constantly.

"Do you also believe in Buddhism?" I ask Bright Moon.

"I do not distinguish between Buddhism and Taoism. Faiths are all interlinked." As Bright Moon is leaving, he gives me a copy of the I Ching. "Go home and study this. I can see you are someone who understands."

Lulu does everything according to Bright Moon's recommendations and installs the computer Beibei and I have bought for her. Lulu decides to leave behind the hurt caused by Ximu. She writes me an e-mail: "I want to be just like the phoenix, to fly out of the ashes of my own body and be reborn."

CHUJI JIEDUAN: The primary stage of socialism, the Chinese Communist Party's description of the current political system in China.

MEINU ZUOJIA: Literally, a pretty female author; in actuality, one of a group of average-looking female authors who like to include flattering photos of themselves on the covers of their books. Just as so-called political analysts such as Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter appear on the covers of their sensationalized books in the United States.

BAZI: "Eight characters," the Taoist reference to the year, month, day, and hour of one's birth.